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Getting my shit together, but in need of some advice from the pros.

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December 28, 2019
12 upvotes

So I've been turning my life around thanks to discovering MRP, three months ago my wife told me she "loved me but wasnt in love with me" I moved back to my dads for a brief period while we were on a break (before I unplugged) then I decided that I should never have left in the first place and moved back in, she put up a mild protest, But I didnt back down and she came round almost immediately. Since coming back and implimenting what I've learned, (lifting, being more confident, gaming her daily, no longer having her be my mission) things have improved dramatically. But now that has presented a new problem, turns out I can't last in bed, I read somewhere that you shouldn't jack off before a date or before sex as it kills your game. But the last two times we've had sex I've bust a nut within the first few minutes, or the latest time during foreplay. Now I'm not asking for how to last longer, unless you guys have some secret that I've yet to learn. But I want to know how you guys would deal with the situation afterwards, obviously my wife was disappointed but i held my frame and tried not to give a fuck. That said I feel like I could have handled it better. Any advice is welcomed.


Post Information
Title Getting my shit together, but in need of some advice from the pros.
Author Six-String-Samurai
Upvotes 12
Comments 33
Date 28 December 2019 07:52 PM UTC (11 months ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/303358
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/egva78/getting_my_shit_together_but_in_need_of_some/
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Comments

[–]justpickanyusernameRed Beret19 points20 points  (1 child) | Copy

It is 100% in your head. Yeah, I’m sure there are some medical cases out there, but seeing where you are in your journey I doubt that is the case and not all that unusual from what we see here.

When I started three years ago I had similar issues. I don’t think it was quite as severe as letting it fly during foreplay and I was never a two pump chump. But, I consider premature ejaculation finishing before you want to and I could never hold it as long as I wanted.

The further along I got in my journey and the more distance I put between where I started and my changes I noticed I could last as long as I wanted and finish when I wanted.

You are still needy and lack abundance. Subconsciously, you know this is the only pussy you might be inside for a while and you bust a nut quickly. You are also likely putting that pussy on a pedestal as well.

The cure. As much as many people don’t like to hear it, but it is the sidebar. In my opinion, there is no one trick or tip to fix this. You have unravel and unfuck yourself step by step. As you make progress in changing yourself you will notice this aspect of your sex life will improve.

My advice, yeah it sucks a little right now, but just ignore it when it happens and focus on everything else. As a side effect of making those changes this will follow suit and improve. I can finish whenever I want to now which would have not been the case before I started. It wasn’t because of some quick little mental trick, but a complete mindset shift.

[–]cabrono11 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Bluechew.com, the Cialis is great. You’ll be impressed

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret10 points11 points  (13 children) | Copy

Surprised nobody's mentioned the ILYBINILWY.

[–]HornsOfApathyMod / Red Beret8 points9 points  (7 children) | Copy

Dude seems happy enough in her frame already, didn't want to ruin his day.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

How does that mean I'm in her frame? Is it because I didnt fuck her off and find someone new?

[–]HornsOfApathyMod / Red Beret7 points8 points  (5 children) | Copy

You asked...

95% of the time this means she was fucking someone else. The other 5% she was thinking about fucking someone else. Believe me or not, I don't care.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

At the end of the day I came here for advice, and the truth. If that is the case and I ever find out, then shes history.

[–]HornsOfApathyMod / Red Beret2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

Hence, why I said you're in her frame.

Her reluctance to let you back in a red flag?

Come on dude.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

she'd already made a throwaway comment weeks prior that I had to "want to come back home" while also saying she wanted her space. I presumed it was a shit test and that she was wanting me to grow a pair and stop waiting for her to give me the ok to come back.

[–]hack3geRed Beret3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Not a shit test - she was fucking someone else or wanted to and wanted to not feel guilty about it.

I guarantee you find another dudes cum was in your wife’s cheating whore pussy if you go digging.

[–]HornsOfApathyMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Look dude. Shit test or not, theres probably much more to this story than we even care to know about. She was likely fucking someone else, you moved out. She then had free reign to fuck in your house, but knew she would probably lose it if her beta Billy left for good. Women have dual mating strategies.

You missed a shit ton on the sidebar. Go read RM.

...and faggots, this is why you post in OYS.

[–]bliceroquququq0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah the ILYBINILWY, followed by wife protesting when he moved back in raise a few red flags.

[–]part_wolf0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

It struck me as an obvious shit test that OP failed.

[–]HornsOfApathyMod / Red Beret2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

He failed shit tests long before that declaration.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I've been failing shit tests for years without knowing, so many of them are obvious now but before being unplugged I was oblivious to them all.

[–]HornsOfApathyMod / Red Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You are not unplugged.

[–]UltimateCrypto9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy

Just own it. Bust all over her. Call her a dirty slut and go round 2 right away.

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Just own it. Bust all over her.

This is a good short term fix, but OP needs to learn how to last longer.

When I was a teenager, my gf used to take me right up to orgasm and then hold it for a minute or so. Then, she’d do it a bunch more times. She heard about it from a friend and implemented it since I was new to sex, and always had premature ejaculation. She did it for a week so so, and then I was able to control it much better and pound her as long as I wanted.

OP could implement this himself to improve his stamina. It’s not that complex.

[–]HeckleandChide7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

HoA already addressed early ejac better than I would.

Re the rest of your post, read the "Cut the Shit" post stickied at the top. You aren't a special snowflake who gets to shirk the rules. Post your damned stats, books, etc.

Next, recognize that you are at the starting line of a long journey. Your post reeks of the idea that MRP is just something you check off a list rather than someone you forge yourself into being. That's not an uncommon mistake for a dude who spends too much time playing video games. Grow up.

Finally, 90 days ago she said gave you the ILBINILWY? And you think things are improving dramatically? Maybe... or maybe not. That's an extremely short amount of time and chances are high - even if she is rewarding what she sees as good behavior - that she still thinks you are a faggot. Maybe a slightly more useful faggot now that you are starting to resemble a functional adult.

Chances are also high that she started seeing someone while you were "on break" and "moved out" and she still is seeing that guy. That's why she is willing to fuck you now... she's getting it on the side and part of her wants to cover up what she sees as wrong by sleeping with you too.

You have a long way to go.

[–]The_LitzRed Beret3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

You spread your seed and emptied your sack.

You have achieved your mission.

To extend YOUR pleasure, try this. If in missionary lift your leg/s ie knee upwards to the headboard so that you almost end up looking like a frog. You take some pressure off the prostate and last longer.

[–]second-last-mohican2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Either a) stop when you're close and focus on her for a bit.. then go again b) bust on her or in her mouth, then play with her until you are hard then go again. c) make her cum first, then pound away.. can work that into a. Try and say it's her that's making you cum quick, she looks hot or whatever.

[–]simbarlionRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

1) Let go of your fear of losing her.

2) Let go of your fear of her disappointment afterwards.

Then it will go away

[–]tap09885342 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

This can be related to drugs and hormones. Stims like meth, caffeine, pre-workout stacks, eca stacks, can turn you into a two-stroke man. Also prostate swelling can do the same. 2.5-5mg daily cialis is safe to reduce prostate swelling significantly, and allow you to last longer.

Find Jason Julius - extreme stamina. It is by far the most useful material of any I have found. It sticks to the physiology and mechanics of the various techniques to last and have without getting into the tantric spirituality bullshit. It also helps you learn to due the right thing at the right time. Most materials tell you to do the right things at the wrong time, which ends up causing more problems.

To get to the heart of hormone balance dopamine makes you hornier and harder and come faster, serotonin makes you less hard, less horny, and last longer. Some guys can't come at all on antidepressant SSRIs. Dopamine and serotonin compete to a degree. An occasional use supplement for serotonin, like 5htp before activity, may help.

When I found that I was coming almost instantly and it was a new thing, I was able to pinpoint stuff that did it: yohimbine, and bronkaid. The bonkaid has a lot of expectorant, which was causing my prostate to swell with fluid all the time, that fluid pressure is major factor in coming. Also since I have learned how and when to kegel properly, and strengthened the muscle. I can force most of the fluid out of my prostate and last much longer than I prefer.

Breathing control is another factor. As your arousal level goes up, your breathing automatically tightens. Controlling your breathing can help keep you from reaching PONR. Also checking out your sex hormone levels is important. Both high e2 and low T can make you come too quick. High e2 makes your arousal go up too fast. Low T makes you come at a lower arousal level. If you are overweight, there is a good chance you are aromatizing a lot of T into e2.

[–]HornsOfApathyMod / Red Beret4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

All you retards giving advice in his wife's frame.... smh....

Just do you, OP. Get in the mindset of "fuck it - I'll bust whenever I want". Then you'll last longer if you unfuck this mental model you have based upon fear.

Doesn't matter; got laid.

[–]HeckleandChide0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This.

[–]Over60_FireTempered3Red Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I always busted quick. No worry if you can own it.

Early on, like 17, I had a woman that showed me a solution.

When I got up to the point of letting it go, she would grab my balls and give them a gentle pull. That would hold things off for a while. She sometimes would do it several times, as she liked things to last. She was a good teacher.

[–]RoccoPinkman1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I used to suffer this problem with my ex, when we had bi monthly starfish, I used to come in about a minute.

You aren’t fucking regularly enough. I have sex about 4/6 times a week now and last a lot longer.

[–]Hugenstein410 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The less I was in my wife's frame the longer I lasted. It's a significant mental effort to nut from oral now, for example.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

ILYBNILWY

Mmslp has an entire section dedicated to this. It means she’s already fucking someone else.

For the premature nut, try “edging” that Bobby Peru talked about. Combined with getting out your head, you’ll turn into marky mark.

[–]amrit21chandi0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

First, for premature ejaculation there could be many reasons. Best bet is to consult a physician. Then you could get your blood work done to check if there's some physiological reason for this.

Lifting and Cardio will help a lot. I've found sex after 15-20 mins running is 10 times better and obviously longer. There are some vitamins, supplements which can boost your testosterone and other good stuff in your body but better consult a doctor before taking them.

Strengthening your thighs, abs and lower back muscles is essential. Also there are some kegel exercises and yoga asanas which helps strengthening your pelvic floor muscles and in return give you better erections and more control.

More often than not its in our heads. The anxiety of performance and our own hamstering. But after doing the above-mentioned things you'd be feeling more confident. And at the end of the day its all about confidences. Confidence to fuck the world as you would your woman. Good luck to you.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Gonna have to decide what you are doing with your life moving forward.

Getting your shit together is a marathon not a sprint in a game of capture the flag.

It’s difficult to grasp pin the tail “on the getting the shit together” donkey, but you need to be methodical and make each move like a game of chess.

[–]aita28990 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Anytime you think of her as the only cunt for you, this is the song you need to listen to.

https://youtu.be/cZaJYDPY-YQ

[–]Perfectinmyeyes-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

I've never understood the whole concept of premature ejec...

If you don't want things to happen so quick you make it happen and same with her. Simple.



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