Recently I got assigned on a project with a younger guy (around 25), up until now I had barely heard from him, as he was kinda reserved and shy. But we got along really good and I took him for a few beers afterwards. Turns out the poor soul is going through a long dry spell, since he broke up with his girlfriend in the first half of 2019, he’s only had sex once and is not even trying anymore.
Now, the guy is far from the incel-type you might picture in your heads. He’s taller than me, handsome, quick-witted, charming... He could use a bit of mass, and also he needs to be more alpha and less meekish. Other than that, he shouldn’t have issues getting pussy out there.
The thing is, he has huge self-steem issues. Specially when it comes to sex. I think that the fact that when he had sex for the first time after the girlfriend it wasn’t that successful, has really messed him up. According to him, it was a drunk sloppy hook-up, and the girl ghosted him afterwards. And he’s convinced it’s because he was awful in bed. I told him there can be a hundred reasons besides that: maybe she’s a slut and only wanted a quick fuck with a stranger, or she had a boyfriend...
I really want to help him out. I told him general advice and platitudes like: start going to the gym to bulk up and gain some confidence, come with me on a night out and we’ll approach girls in a relaxed/no-pressure way... But what else is there that’s more specific and tailored to his situation? I feel he’s on the edge of getting back to normal, but if he continues this way he’s only gonna spiral down and down.