INCOMING LONG POST DOWN BELOW
This is my first post here and I would like to introduce briefly myself. I am 26 years old, having a LTR for 6 years now with a girl I really love and care. She is submissive, caring, loving, taking care of me and having me as her priority in most of her choices in life.She a year and a half older than me, and we get by just great. We pretty much never have fights, and “pretty much” means that we rarely have some arguments that we resolve with constructive discussions and the story ends there. Her upbringing is very feminine and traditional, and that I know because I have met and interacted with her parents countless times all these years that were are together.
I have even been staying at her house – with her parents – maaany times all these years. Her parents, again, are awesome people and have been so good to me at all times, by hosting me to their house for many days and respecting me sooo much as her daughter’s fiancé/LTR.She has become my fiancé on 2017, as I proposed to her while in a trip in Rome ( I just wanted it to be memorable ). Ever since, I don’t really feel a really big difference with how our relationship is, but seems like it’s going even better now than before.I have been knowing the NMMNG principles and other red pill principles for a year now, and am trying every single day to put them into practice for the amelioration of my life. I try to own my shit and succeed in what is my goal. I currently study in a foreign country for my masters, but my fiancé is still living back to our common home country ( Both European countries but pretty far, around 3h by plane ).
After all these years, never have I indulged myself more in the idea of doing anything with an another girl, and that is because my background as a person is very religious ( Christian orthodox if that matters to anyone ). I was not raised so conservative by my family, on the contrary they think that I am exaggerating the way I see life and how I pursue my religious path. No problem with their opinion, of course, they love me as I am and I know that. It was my own decision to follow such a somewhat strict religious lifestyle. I need to express something more, that is related to my beliefs, and that is the pre-marital sex. I am opposed to it, and my fiancé has been 6 years with me being patient, expecting us to get married and then have sex. We have our foreplay stuff going on, but no sex still after 6 years. I also recognize the fact that she admits that she would really LOVE to have sex with me as she finds me attractive and sexy ( her opinion not mine ) and am happy about that to be honest, as it seems that me exercising regularly and following a good diet has proven itself to beneficial by increasing my SMV.
After 6 years, to continue my train of thought, I have come to a dead-end. As I said, I am studying for a year now abroad in a Scandinavian country. I live in a dorm where I have great fund and have met very nice and cheerful people, which make me feel like home ( even though it’s my real one ).My neighbor in the dorm – next door to me – is a very beautiful Scandinavian ( at least in my eyes ) girl, aged 22, with which I have a lot of fun every time I meet and discuss with her. Funny thing is, I started applying -for fun- some red pill principles of attraction to her. I do find her attractive, and wanted to test myself if I could make her feel the same for me. Lots of eye contact, amuse and amplify techniques, being cheesy with “grace” if I could say and so on and so forth.Seems like it worked out veeeery well. All her body cues and actions show that she likes me a lot. The way she also looks at me and from the fact that she allows me to apply kino which seems she is fond of it now and shows no inconvenience in any sense.
The thing is…she has also a boyfriend ( 2 years now ) and knows about my LTR, but still it looks like she wouldn’t mind if I would GO for it.At the same time, it’s me who faces a big dilemma. I have fallen in loop where I think I can’t escape easily, especially when she is around me. I feel immensely guilty at the same time towards my fiancé, as all the signs show that I am in love with that girl now. For the last three days or so, I am trying to find the reason why I fell for this. It never happened in my life so far, and all my brain capacity tries to philosophize and non-superficially analyze why ended up in this situation.I, as a person, always seek the “source” of my actions and am investigating how did this happen. My love for psychology – as a scientific field – but also for philosophy has made to think so many stuff so far, which eventually made me even more perplexed. There are various reasons that made this whole situation to come up in the surface:
- I found excitement to this girl, that the distance between me and my fiancé can’t overcome at least during this period of my life
- The behavior and personality of this girl attracted me so much that in the end made me to put aside – selectively – my fiancé, and seek to find validation from her
- This girl might have “awaken” my sexuality in higher rates than my fiancé has managed to do so far
- I lost interest to my fiancé as she is VERY submissive in general and that creates a higher power dynamic on my side, thus being stable and a leader for so long made me to get bored and tired in some sense.
- It came a point in my life that my beliefs are completely opposite to what my intuition and soul says to do. I find myself fighting between my rational and irrational ( more free from remorse ) self. Even if I want to go for the other girl it’s gonna be a bummer, and that’s because she definitely would love to have sex with me, but I could not give it to her due to my religiocentric life.
What is your take on this, I would really love to have your input. And I will as much as possible on the comment section by creating a constructive discussion that may lead somewhere. Any philosophical and in-depth psychological responses/ideas will be even more appreciated, cause those two realms are my personal favorite go-to for finding answers.
P.S 1 I could write even more, but I am sure it is already tedious to read this post, so excuse me for that but I thought that without being thorough enough no one among you could have a better idea of my situation and my background as a person.
P.S 2 Sorry if I have spelling mistakes, english is not my first language.