6 years into a LTR, but now something is going on with me - Constructive criticism and discussion will be appreciated

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October 18, 2019
6 upvotes

INCOMING LONG POST DOWN BELOW

Hey guys,

This is my first post here and I would like to introduce briefly myself. I am 26 years old, having a LTR for 6 years now with a girl I really love and care. She is submissive, caring, loving, taking care of me and having me as her priority in most of her choices in life.She a year and a half older than me, and we get by just great. We pretty much never have fights, and “pretty much” means that we rarely have some arguments that we resolve with constructive discussions and the story ends there. Her upbringing is very feminine and traditional, and that I know because I have met and interacted with her parents countless times all these years that were are together.

I have even been staying at her house – with her parents – maaany times all these years. Her parents, again, are awesome people and have been so good to me at all times, by hosting me to their house for many days and respecting me sooo much as her daughter’s fiancé/LTR.She has become my fiancé on 2017, as I proposed to her while in a trip in Rome ( I just wanted it to be memorable ). Ever since, I don’t really feel a really big difference with how our relationship is, but seems like it’s going even better now than before.I have been knowing the NMMNG principles and other red pill principles for a year now, and am trying every single day to put them into practice for the amelioration of my life. I try to own my shit and succeed in what is my goal. I currently study in a foreign country for my masters, but my fiancé is still living back to our common home country ( Both European countries but pretty far, around 3h by plane ).

After all these years, never have I indulged myself more in the idea of doing anything with an another girl, and that is because my background as a person is very religious ( Christian orthodox if that matters to anyone ). I was not raised so conservative by my family, on the contrary they think that I am exaggerating the way I see life and how I pursue my religious path. No problem with their opinion, of course, they love me as I am and I know that. It was my own decision to follow such a somewhat strict religious lifestyle. I need to express something more, that is related to my beliefs, and that is the pre-marital sex. I am opposed to it, and my fiancé has been 6 years with me being patient, expecting us to get married and then have sex. We have our foreplay stuff going on, but no sex still after 6 years. I also recognize the fact that she admits that she would really LOVE to have sex with me as she finds me attractive and sexy ( her opinion not mine ) and am happy about that to be honest, as it seems that me exercising regularly and following a good diet has proven itself to beneficial by increasing my SMV.

After 6 years, to continue my train of thought, I have come to a dead-end. As I said, I am studying for a year now abroad in a Scandinavian country. I live in a dorm where I have great fund and have met very nice and cheerful people, which make me feel like home ( even though it’s my real one ).My neighbor in the dorm – next door to me – is a very beautiful Scandinavian ( at least in my eyes ) girl, aged 22, with which I have a lot of fun every time I meet and discuss with her. Funny thing is, I started applying -for fun- some red pill principles of attraction to her. I do find her attractive, and wanted to test myself if I could make her feel the same for me. Lots of eye contact, amuse and amplify techniques, being cheesy with “grace” if I could say and so on and so forth.Seems like it worked out veeeery well. All her body cues and actions show that she likes me a lot. The way she also looks at me and from the fact that she allows me to apply kino which seems she is fond of it now and shows no inconvenience in any sense.

The thing is…she has also a boyfriend ( 2 years now ) and knows about my LTR, but still it looks like she wouldn’t mind if I would GO for it.At the same time, it’s me who faces a big dilemma. I have fallen in loop where I think I can’t escape easily, especially when she is around me. I feel immensely guilty at the same time towards my fiancé, as all the signs show that I am in love with that girl now. For the last three days or so, I am trying to find the reason why I fell for this. It never happened in my life so far, and all my brain capacity tries to philosophize and non-superficially analyze why ended up in this situation.I, as a person, always seek the “source” of my actions and am investigating how did this happen. My love for psychology – as a scientific field – but also for philosophy has made to think so many stuff so far, which eventually made me even more perplexed. There are various reasons that made this whole situation to come up in the surface:

  1. I found excitement to this girl, that the distance between me and my fiancé can’t overcome at least during this period of my life
  2. The behavior and personality of this girl attracted me so much that in the end made me to put aside – selectively – my fiancé, and seek to find validation from her
  3. This girl might have “awaken” my sexuality in higher rates than my fiancé has managed to do so far
  4. I lost interest to my fiancé as she is VERY submissive in general and that creates a higher power dynamic on my side, thus being stable and a leader for so long made me to get bored and tired in some sense.
  5. It came a point in my life that my beliefs are completely opposite to what my intuition and soul says to do. I find myself fighting between my rational and irrational ( more free from remorse ) self. Even if I want to go for the other girl it’s gonna be a bummer, and that’s because she definitely would love to have sex with me, but I could not give it to her due to my religiocentric life.

What is your take on this, I would really love to have your input. And I will as much as possible on the comment section by creating a constructive discussion that may lead somewhere. Any philosophical and in-depth psychological responses/ideas will be even more appreciated, cause those two realms are my personal favorite go-to for finding answers.

P.S 1 I could write even more, but I am sure it is already tedious to read this post, so excuse me for that but I thought that without being thorough enough no one among you could have a better idea of my situation and my background as a person.

P.S 2 Sorry if I have spelling mistakes, english is not my first language.


Post Information
Title 6 years into a LTR, but now something is going on with me - Constructive criticism and discussion will be appreciated
Author sakis_ikr
Upvotes 6
Comments 9
Date 18 October 2019 01:36 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askRPC
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/304616
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askRPC/comments/djnm1i/6_years_into_a_ltr_but_now_something_is_going_on/
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Red Pill terms found in post:
kinolong term relationshipsexual market valuethe red pillNMMNG
Comments

[–]rocknrollchuck4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Man, 6 years is a LONG time for an LTR.

  • First question: why are you waiting?

  • Second (and more important) question: are you born again?

[–]Billy_King1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Also OP, why haven’t you married yet? You’ve been engaged for at least 2 years now.

[–]Red-Curious2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

She is submissive, caring, loving, taking care of me and having me as her priority in most of her choices in life

Except the choice of where to live/work, apparently. Also, it's easy to be "submissive, caring, loving," etc. when the other person isn't actually there 90% of the time. You only have to be these things 10% of the time. My wife was the EXACT same way you described when we were in our LTR for 1 year - and then we got together and suddenly everything started changing and she wasn't at all what I thought she was when we were in the LTR.

She a year and a half older than me

10 years into marriage when you can get hotter, younger girls who are more submissive and helpful to your mission, you're going to regret this.

We pretty much never have fights

Yeah, because you're not around each other enough to step on each other's toes.

I proposed to her while in a trip in Rome ( I just wanted it to be memorable )

i.e. "I still buy into the Disney fantasy about all this."

she has also a boyfriend ( 2 years now ) and knows about my LTR, but still it looks like she wouldn’t mind if I would GO for it

Pretty normal. This is hypergamy and branch swinging in the works.

For the last three days or so, I am trying to find the reason why I fell for this

Are you kidding? You started flirting with another girl, then you start becoming attracted to her more than your fiance. And you're wondering why? That in itself is your answer. You will become attracted to attractive women who show interest in you. Heck, you'll become attracted to attractive women who DON'T show interest in you. It's part of life.

Any philosophical and in-depth psychological responses/ideas will be even more appreciated, cause those two realms are my personal favorite go-to for finding answers.

This is a problem for you. Don't fuel esoteric thinking. Focus on practical reality. Your situation is not unique and doesn't require a PhD in philosophy or psychology to understand. You like two girls. For one, you're an emotional tampon with a high commitment, but you're not really attracted to her anymore. For the other, you're highly attracted, but it would mean starting from scratch and not knowing if it'll work out. Don't philosophize over this. Pick. Take action. But don't sit on your thumbs hoping that plugging your butt-hole is somehow going to increase pressure to your brain to give you an ah-ha moment.

Which girl is going to be more helpful in making disciples? If you want some philosophy to think about - contemplate the purpose of marriage. "Why did the Lord God make them one, with a portion of His Spirit in their union? To produce godly offspring" (Malachi 2:15). Godly offspring = disciples (which can also be physical children). If a woman isn't helping you make disciples, the relationship is pointless.

[–]sakis_ikr0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I feel that you have a big point going on there.

The role of disciples making in a relationship is a bit debatable. Is that the only purpose we should have? I know that I will pursue it while I have my wife, but should that define my marriage and marital well-being if I can name it like this?

Would love to have your input.

[–]Willow-girl0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Pretty normal. This is hypergamy and branch swinging in the works.

Yes, the OP is definitely contemplating a branch-swing! lol

[–]Deep_Strength1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

???

The goal of any Christian relationship is marriage. So why aren't you married to the first girl like chuck said?

Humans are not immune and often tempted to get validation from the opposite sex. This is exactly what is occurring here. There is also some element of "the grass is greener" mentality too.

I don't see any mention of prayer or reading your Bible or anything in your thought process, so that is a big issue.

You need to step back from your philosophizing or whatever thoughts and make God the center of your life.

[–]sakis_ikr0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

God is the center of all my actions and thoughts. All the consequences of my actions and the outcome of those are Godcentric.

HE is always there in my mind to everything I do, trust me for that.

[–]Willow-girl0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Is Scandi-girl even a Christian? I'm guessing not.

That may not seem to matter in the moment, but it probably will later.

[–]sakis_ikr0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

She is, but different dogma than I am.



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