Disclaimer; this post is not short, I lack brevity. Details have been included because I felt they were needed, and also just can't stop writing once I start.
22 y.o. | 6'0 |195lb | 15% b.f. | b.p. 60 kg | Single
Reading: whole RPC Sidebar, NMMNG, TRP (before discovering RPC)
- 35k UK Student debt - works very different from the US, consider it more like a Graduate Tax, but still requires some repayment. Otherwise no debts or significant outgoings.
- Some savings in the bank, starting marketing/copy business so a consistent income will take a while to accumulate, living at home for the next year to save ££££.
- Prayer 3x a week (Needs improvement, I know)
- Bible 3x a week
- Getting much better at memorizing scripture, I believe Bible Memory App was referred on here? (Ty to whoever mentioned it)
- I have been very blessed to see two close friends come to faith and be baptized in my last year of University. I wasn't anything special at the time, just very open and honest about my own testimony, they (by G-d's will) did the rest.
I'm gonna partially dox myself here by giving my general location, as it's relevant to the post. I'm from Bristol, UK. I've moved back here for the next year or so after University. Not to demean the experiences of other guys in similar situations, but Bristol is especially liberal and degenerate. Imagine a British Berkeley, for those living in the US. It's a shame because otherwise, the city has a lot to offer, as far as the UK goes.
Though I am happy to be proven wrong, I find the possibility of meeting a wife here to be very slim. Few girls here are genuine Christians, and many of the ones that proclaim to have very questionable views on the big Qs like Gay marriage, abortion etc. Finding a (socially) conservative, attractive Christian girl here really is Unicorn territory. I'm not asking to meet the female Carl Jung, but most of the girls at my past Churches seemed to have had little substance, and I struggled for chemistry with any. Unfortunately, it's actually driven me to a point where I find most British girls repulsive, even if they just look like they are from my area, which has made me a primarily (but not exclusively) "grass is greener" type. It probably doesn't help that the average girl here puts on enough foundation to build Nicolae Ceaușescu's Palace of the Parliament.
Thus, my (relatively limited) dating history has been exclusively brown in the four years away from Bristol, to prove the point (I am white, just to clarify). This is a shame, considering there were some wholesome (albeit mostly reserved "Becky" type) white Christian girls at my University, who I felt guilty for not being attracted to. I'm far from a "Chad" (cringe at using that unironically lol), and am very aware of my own faults, so I hope this doesn't come across as arrogant.
I'm happy to be single for the next few years, that isn't a concern, 22 is not old. The idea of being single for life is a HUGE concern. I don't believe I have the "gift of singleness". The syntax/semantics of this phrase confuses me, as some people say this (based on scripture) indicates that being single in itself is a gift, while others say that it is referring to the ability to stay single for use in ministry by G-d. Clarification on this would be very helpful, both for myself and others in similar situations.
Either way, I do believe my mission is better served with a FAST woman by my side.
However, I understand that marriage is not the silver bullet to sexual temptation, but there is no doubt that a healthy sex life does mitigate the effects. Nor is it the cure for loneliness, but there is no doubt that a good woman and well-raised children are (normally) good company to a man.
My mission is simple, minister to people of a certain "Abrahamic" faith that I will not name, and anyone else who I happen to meet along the way, through the mediums of business (marketing and eventually small/medium business consultancy) and MMA. Having been to the Middle East on a couple of occasions, I am seriously considering moving there by 2021 to pursue this mission. This would be a country on the Med, just not sure which one yet.
My question is as follows; is it morally wrong, or unrealistic to hold that hope that I might find my wife during my mission in a country like this? Is that a distraction to the purpose of the mission? Is it wrong to have what is effectively wife-hunting as a peripheral motivation for moving abroad, so long as my mission takes precedence?
All thoughts are very welcome, and I am happy to answer any Qs for clarification, to the best of my ability.
P.S. Not sure if this against the rules (Mods please remove if so) but I am an IRL friend of u/Chazza_Lazza (from Uni, not Bristol). My sincerest thanks for your responses to his post. Also, apologies for the cucked nature of my first post on r/RPChristians. I was so ashamed of it that I chose to delete it, but I did take the advice given from that to heart.