Changed my life after swallowing TRP but can’t get over my ex?

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Fueidjfnrk
January 12, 2020
105 upvotes
askTRP

Since I left my last relationship I’ve followed TRP and have had some pretty good results.

Got back into bodybuilding, lost 10lbs and lost my stomach (abs almost back). Girls love and beg for my attention and I’ve been fucking a new girl almost every week or two. Give zero fucks about opinions, quit porn, bettering myself all around. My guy friends look up to me now and though it’s pretty cringe two we’re calling me an “alpha” after I got our waitress’ phone number and kept talking about how my manner and moves were on point.

Seems like all is well for me right now but I’m kind of struggling with my last break up. My ex was literally crazy; she had anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, and PTSD. When she had her feet planted on the ground she was an amazing girlfriend. Loyal to the end but I broke it off because she was getting disrespectful towards me and was extremely jealous of any other girl in my life that wasn’t family. I honestly think I just miss her loyalty/company/sex, and her body was fucking insane. We went through an abortion together and a lot of other shit as well.

Right after we broke up she was in a new relationship within two weeks because she literally can’t be alone. Not going to lie it fucked me up a bit but not too much since I know that she’s his problem to deal with now.

I think that I might just miss having someone I connect with on an intellectual level. All the girls I’ve been fucking have been either really fucking annoying, quiet, basic, or stupid. Due to work, school, and the gym I can’t really go out much to socialize and meet new girls.

Any advice?


Post Information
Title Changed my life after swallowing TRP but can’t get over my ex?
Author Fueidjfnrk
Upvotes 105
Comments 42
Date 12 January 2020 06:38 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/305360
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/enk5rz/changed_my_life_after_swallowing_trp_but_cant_get/
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Comments

[–]MarkJohnPaul85 points86 points  (4 children) | Copy

All good to be upset. No shame in it.

It’s your ego acting up man. Sometimes it makes us crazy because they’re possessions to us. So when they go do they’re own thing it’s almost a shock to us. You can’t control her bro.

Just sit back and accept that it is what it is, and you’ll never get it back.

To that point it’s obviously been onwards and upwards. If you’re laying pipe once a week and lifting thinks are looking markedly better for you.

Meanwhile, your ex is out there just being crazy like she always is.

Just because you swallowed TRP when you broke up doesn’t mean she had some existential moment as well. From the looks of it she just went into full rebound mode and replaced you.

As far as the ego goes, I’d run by the old adage of “it’s not you, it’s just your turn” one. She needed a bf - you were that guy. She’ll always need one.

You on the other hand - are a free man.

If I was you I’d put a marked number on how many girls it’s going to take to fill the void your ex left behind.

[–]Fueidjfnrk18 points19 points  (1 child) | Copy

Thanks man, that honestly means a lot and makes me feel better. You’re right in saying it was just my turn and I was that guy when she needed a boyfriend. Too many red flags from the beginning and I need to remind myself that and keep moving on. Thanks again.

[–]doesntpostnuttin9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

I’m not the guy who commented above but I’d just like to say it sounds like you’re going to be fine man. Break ups are always tough and it genuinely just takes time for the wounds to heal, keep doing what you’re doing and make sure you do things that benefit yourself such as picking up hobbies, lifting, studying etc.

[–]kokoke1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I went through something similar to op recently. I had a really good plate(some of the best sex ive had in my life, genuinely miss it) suddenly go cold and distant on me.

Messed up, and acted needy by constantly calling her.

Thanks to your post, its put things into perspective. I should just sit back and accept it for what it is. It was my turn, it was fun, now I just move on.

But damn I'll miss that sweet pussy though.

[–]Musicgoon59 points60 points  (8 children) | Copy

Bro, here's the rub of this shit. You do have slight PTSD. I left my BPD wife about 7 or so years ago. She's a total piece of shit human.

The thing is you get addicted to a certain level of arousal. And I don't mean arousal like getting a hard on. You get used to the fight or flight endorphins she brings. After I left her, I banged several plates and just didn't feel excited. I thought she fucked my head up.

I met another plate. She was a raging alcoholic, popped benzos like candy, and fucked like a porn star. The sex was amazing! But she was mean AF! Abusive I would say. We would fight, she would drink, I would leave for days or weeks at a time, but I came back all the time just to bang her. She cheated on me incessantly so I would one up her. If she slept with one guy, I would sleep with 6 women in retaliation.

I couldn't figure out what the hell my problem was. It was a few things: A. The challenge. She was a worthy sparring partner. I would fight and win. I would dominate the thot. And when she would say ,"I'm not sleeping with you tonight". I would laugh on the inside because she would always break after a bit of escalation. B. The sex. She was beyond filthy and really really good. C. The endorphins. I was addicted to the rush of endorphins when we fought.

So I had to admit that I loved the drama first and foremost. So I did other things that would make the endorphins go nuts instead of dealing with her being a bitch. I got a sportsbike and would rip though country back roads to get a rush, I lifted really really heavy shit and punished myself in the gym, and I approached the hottest women that I used to assume we're unavailable. All gave me that endorphin rush without the drama or toxic bullshit of that hoe.

Find a different rush and your feelings for her will die out quickly.

Good luck!

[–]volvostupidshit24 points25 points  (0 children) | Copy

The psych community calls that trauma bond. It's really hard to get off of your system.

[–]PhaedrusHunt6 points7 points  (3 children) | Copy

Holy shit man sounds like you're describing me.

Differences in details of course but the same gyst.

I was with a BPD for 11 years. I would have left a lot sooner but two kids. Her temper was insane. She wouldn't back off she was like a pitbull.

After I left her I banged a few chicks then got in a rebound relationship with a total hoe. Did the same kind of stuff all the revenge cheating. Messed around with one of her friends (didn't quite close lol), all this filthy type of stuff that is not anything like what I aspire to be. And I was living like a wild man driving drunk getting into confrontations, a couple of fights, having plates 2, 3, 4 at a time right behind her back all while I'm still in the guise of a relationship. Probably the filthiest thing I ever did was one night she wasn't in the mood just fell asleep early, we were drinking, I hit up one plate went over there for a booty call, drink more, hit up ANOTHER plate, same thing, went back home took a shower got in bed. Honestly fucking horrific behavior man.

That's the type of shit that can get to you and be super distracting when you don't have your mission sorted out.

[–]Musicgoon2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Man thank you for stating this. I did something eerily similar. Where I would go out in the afternoon, bang a plate, go to another plates house and get blown, go meet someone new for drinks and then come back to sloppy drunken sex with this crazy chick.

I can see the cycle. Like they say: "Hurt people, hurt people".

You brought up memories of some scandalous shit I was doing. It's good to reevaluate that and learn from it.

[–]PhaedrusHunt1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Honestly I feel like a problem with this sub is that you get that type of behavior being glorified by guys that never had good luck with women.

Guys end up aspiring to be like that.

I'm not against any plates and dating multiple women, but being an absolute dog is another thing.

It looks a lot more fun from the outside looking in.

[–]Musicgoon2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

People are going to act how they act. Damage takes time to reverse. I don't think anyone is glorifying bad behavior. I wasn't happy doing toxic shit. It takes a while to realize that.

[–]Fueidjfnrk3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

You’re right man. Lifting and getting new PRs used to get me that endorphin rush but those days are long gone. I think porn use has fucked up my dopamine and serotonin levels so hopefully quitting will help and I can tell that it already has. I fucked a plate tonight and when I finished I didn’t get any dopamine release so that’s definitely a sign that there’s a problem.

I’ll also admit that I was addicted to the drama and back and forthness nature we had. That’s how most of my long-term relationships have been but I always stayed because the sex was amazing. Gonna keep on pushing, keep at it man.

[–]Iluvalmonds835 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think you just answered the issue that prevents you from finding the kind of chick you need in a ltr. You’re attracted to damaged girls, for the excitement it brings you and your “bond” over that. Reprogramming yourself out of that pattern is going to help you start finding better quality women that are going to be more fulfilling to you.

I heard it takes an average of 3-6 months to get over a breakup. When you’re ready to explore a relationship with a woman again, try to avoid going for the hot dumpster trash fires and vet someone with intelligence and mental stability. There’s quality people out there, but sometimes we sabotage ourselves by going straight for the ones that are bad for us.

[–]illusiveab4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Girls who are the most contentious often give you the greatest feeling of polarized control. We all know tobacco is bad for you but many still do it because it's addictive physically and mentally yet still under your control. Once you understand this, you can begin to walk away from it.

[–]lolomotif1219 points20 points  (1 child) | Copy

You said you miss her "loyalty/company/sex" but everything she was to you she is so easily and freely now giving to some random dude within days after your break up. Hell, she might have even been sleeping with dude behind your back. Dont be so blind. Why do you even care about someone like this, someone that has given you hell and clearly wasnt worth your efforts. You can do better than that!

[–]youcantdenythat1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah, he is pining for his fantasy version of her, not her.

[–]Jamesdane12317 points18 points  (0 children) | Copy

Did we date the same chick? Not even joking lmao

[–]4436106610 points11 points  (12 children) | Copy

When did you break it off? Will take you anywhere from 6 months to a year until she’s a memory that you appreciate but don’t care about anymore.

It happened to me. Just be patient brother.

[–]its-mystery6 points7 points  (10 children) | Copy

I don’t understand how men can’t get over women for so long but women can get over men in weeks?

[–]The1ndex9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy

It’s evolution. Women were completely dependent on men. If their main guy died, they would need to forget and move onto the next provider immediately.

To top it off, women live in their feelings, not logic, reasoning, or honour. So as soon as they can get feelings from a new guy, that’s all that matters.

Men live in logic and honour. These things do not ebb and flow like feelings do. So when a man loses something, or is betrayed, it is forever.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Amen that

[–]443610664 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

They have more practice hours than us

[–]its-mystery3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

You mean more relationship hence more breakups hence more experience with this shit?

[–]443610663 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly.

[–]gsp95114 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

They are wired like that. Comes down to very primitive instincts.

[–]its-mystery2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think it’s about super high abundance

[–]deville051 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think, and I may be wrong, sex is something women enjoy obviously but the emotions attached to it isn't something that is specific to one person. We enjoy loving one person but i think for women being loved matters more and it doesn't matter who thats coming from. For example of a women enjoys being loved a certain way and there are 10 guys.. 10 Good,caring, non abusive guys who can love her the way she wants, then she can take her pick based on whatever other criterias matter to her. She is not attached to the visual of a particular guy, like how we are with women. She is attached to the feeling that she felt being loved. Thats why they are better at moving on because they can replace the guy as long as she is feeling good but i think we have to replace the feeling AND remove the visual or replace it as well. Or maybe she feels judged by other women for being left and needs to find another one quickly so as to not lose her arbitrary her social standing. Perhaps it's just primitive at the end of the day

[–]Musicgoon0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Google " war brides"

The idea was whoever took over an area like a conquer, women would use their hypergamy to keep alive. Your husvsnd/man was killed you needed to hop on that conquerer alpha dick, or you were next. It's evolution.

[–]Fueidjfnrk0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I broke it off about two months ago, went out for 9 months and I basically lived at her place (she’s 19, I’m 22).

[–]idontevenlift377 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Time. It’s pretty much the only sure way you’ll eventually get over. And the key is to spend that time doing exactly what you’ve been doing: lifting, grinding, bettering yourself. Also consider cooling it down a little bit with banging a lot of girls. I mean it’s up to you, but if you’re still feeling the sting of your last relationship, than doing whatever with all those other girls can slow down the healing process since you aren’t completely over her yet. She’s got another guy already because she’s needy and can’t be alone.

[–]dmi_36 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy

I couldn't get over my ex (almost 3 years after break up) until I had sex with a hotter girl.

[–]masterduelistky2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

I'm coming upon the three year mark now, god I want this to end.

[–]dmi_32 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You will be surprised how quickly it ends... Poof and she is not a unicorn anymore. Then you realise that all the suffering was just overthinking.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Advice? Wait a few more months. There is no piece of ass on this planet that cannot be forgotten within a year. How long has it been? It's your hormones talking. Time diminishes these feelings quickly.

> within two weeks because she literally can’t be alone

Remember that. That is how long it took her. If your relationship was no worth more than two weeks of a respectful dating break, she should not receive more than two weeks in your head.

Every day you are going to think a little less of her. If it ever feels as if you can't get over her, just notice that.

[–]youcantdenythat3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

You are pining for your fantasy version of your ex. Your feelings are not for the real her, they are for your imaginary version.

You think about the times where you felt that she was loyal, good company and were blinded by her looks.

The real girl was pretty screwed up inside and completely undependable, unpredictable, and wasn't actually who you thought she was.

The sooner you come to terms with the fact that you don't miss her, you miss a fantasy of her, the quicker you can put it behind you.

[–]WhatRemainsAfter1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It takes time for wound to heal. Sometimes, years!

Just don't let this episode make you bitter. I often see TRP men are bitter and mean af.

You got it. Cheers!

[–]TripleDragons1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

My ex (several gfs ago) was like this. Extended periods of emotional abuse mean it will hit you and hit you hard as she will have created dependency both ways, until your new normal is a living nightmare. Once you leave it, that state will linger for a while and as you meet more people you'll learn of better ways. Once of the benefits of having been through that is that you give less shits about flakiness and people chatting shit, so you move forwards and onwards a lot faster, easier and care free.

[–]impotentludius1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

track that stomach and get it back bro. you’ll need it when you’re training abs and eating.

and your problem will be solved by meeting other women and time.

[–]FrenCan3161 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think that our behaviour and thought patterns can often be tied to a person. If during that relationship you were still blue pill, you might still have blue pill traits and behaviours as it relates to that person. I have one ex (my last LTR before I took the RP) with which the relationship essentially degraded because I was so blue pill and couldn't stand up for myself. We split up with no hard feelings and in retrospect that was important to me changing my ways. Although I'm fairly red pill with everyone else now, with her I'm still a very kind and at times sacrificial friend. You could say I behave like an orbiter with her even tho I'm not into her in that way anymore. It's just the way it is, I don't see any harm with it. I basically treat here like I would one of my bros. But I definitely am a bit blue pill with her still.

[–]PhaedrusHunt1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Due to work, school, and the gym I can’t really go out much to socialize and meet new girls.

What kind of work do you do?

I don't know business so I have to spend time on a laptop. I'm not single but when I was it was always really easy to just during the day a couple times a week for a couple hours when I had to sit on and do some work to go a public place. Coffee shop, cafe, restaurant whatever.

Maybe you don't have a situation like that but the thing is I think it's better to be out and meet people in the daytime. Especially at the point where you're at right now you don't want to be getting involved with alcohol equipment and you meet more of them in public places during the day that kind of have their shit together and probably aren't as big into the night scene.

Try different places out and you'll find some place that you like and fit into, Just a place to work or chill occasionally and you'll just start to meet people.

Alternatively find some interest that you can do in a group setting.

You go to the gym that's cool. Fuck it Why not try CrossFit? It changes your routine some but doesn't mess with it and now all the sudden something that you were doing you can do in a social situation.

CrossFit girls aren't really my thing but some of them are mega hot and I bet you're a lot less likely to find an alcoholic than if you meet girls at bars.

I guess what I'm saying is it sounds sort of like you're in a rut and I think you need to mix things up

[–]Many-Resolve1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Dude, one woman is just like the others usually! I used to obsess over one woman at a time, but R. Cooper and M, etc. are correct in saying that women are only to be a compliment, not the focus.

[–]Kabuki4311 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

3 years and overanalyzing my last oneitis, here's my conclusion. In my case

I missed being desired, being needed, feeling wanted by that person.

Fucking multiple women might help but it won't fill the emotional void.

Solution?

Raise your SMV like a mfer. Work on ur self, make money your primary goal and fitness your secondary.

Just to give you an example. Few years back i accepted that i was just ugly/stinky/unattractive undesirable dude. Then i started lifting properly for results.

The women that wouldn't even come within 3 feet of me, now would touch me, grab my dick in public, slap my ass and touch me every opportunity they get.

[–]beachbbqlover0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Aww, is the little bald monkey mad it can't control the universe?

:D

I'm not just being offensive here, think about that one for a bit. We don't control the universe. You're a bald monkey on a wet rock in space. No sense in flinging poo. Relax, and find another one.



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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