659,329 posts

Last night I didn’t have sex.

by max_peenor | January 10, 2020 | TheRedPill


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Last night I went to a bar with a friend for no apparent reason. He and I didn’t talk or even sit together. I ordered a drink which I didn’t know I wanted and would hardly touch. There was this hot middle aged chick there for reasons I can’t imagine. She had a drink too. For a while we talked about stuff that didn’t matter and neither of us cared about. I bought her another drink, which she seemed as indifferent to as the one she already had. She twirled her hair a lot, as well as shifted on an uncomfortable bar stool. I know this because mine was uncomfortable too. Bars make me uncomfortable in general.

I wondered if she might be interested in me but how could I know if she was, so I tried to forget about it. She told me she visited my town often on business, but she couldn’t tell me why. I didn’t care anyway. I kept wondering what sort of red flags she was setting off, but it’s not like it would matter anyway. I would suspect a woman her age had a lot of experience, but that horrified me as much as it excited. Either way, it was pointless. She twirled her hair. I traced the rim of the glass with a finger. Around and around.

She asked me what I did for a living, but I didn’t want her to know too much about me, so I told her I am a barista. Though oddly enough I really am a barista. And now she knows that. She seemed very proud of her career, though I can’t remember what it is. It definitely wasn’t barista, nor do I think it has anything to do with typing or making cupcakes. That’s too bad. I like cupcakes. I never eat them, but that doesn’t diminish how much I like them. Maybe one day she could make some cupcakes for me so I don’t eat them. That would be great.

Speaking of fantasies, dreams and other things I can’t be bothered with, she was very open about a couple of hers. One day she wants to go to Paris. She wants to ride on an elephant. Oh and she desperately wants a guy to blindfold her, chain her to a bed, dump ice on her tummy and hot wax on her wrists, jam an 8” butt plug up her ass, pull her hair and smack her face while fucking her as hard as humanly possible and trying to maintain a constant yodel. I’m happy for her that she has dreams. Too bad there isn’t a way for me to fit into them. Elephants scare me.

She asked what I did with my spare time. I told her I slept a solid 8 hours every night. I have a very comfortable bed. I told her this, but then noted that it didn’t matter, because she would never see it anyway. She laughed. In fact she laughed at a lot of what I said. I’m a little put off on it. Does she think Im a Joker or something? I’m sure this is another red flag. It has to be. Not that it matters.

I gave her my phone number but I ignored her messages. It seemed a bit inappropriate for me to send any to her either. What would people say? It’s not like I know people, aside from my friend that I ignore. But someone out there might say something. I mean, I don’t care what they think about me, but they would be thinking things about me. She might think things about me, so it’s a good thing I’m going to block her number.

Tonight I’m pretty sure I’ll go to the bar again.

Yours truly, Consumer Of Oxygen

Post Information
Title Last night I didn’t have sex.
Author max_peenor
Upvotes 200
Comments 58
Date 10 January 2020 09:52 PM UTC (6 months ago)
Subreddit TheRedPill
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/305562
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/emxugb/last_night_i_didnt_have_sex/
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[–]athrowaway-9001101 points102 points  (2 children) | Copy

Great satirical post. Too many bluepilled betas completely missing the point of post. I almost skipped the post and wall of text until I went through the comments.

[–]ofisis26 points27 points  (1 child) | Copy

apparently they can't even get a hint from the signature

[–]Hock3yGrump7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Or the title.

[–][deleted] 90 points91 points  (4 children) | Copy

Will you idiots take a hint and check the mans post history? What I got from it is the perspective of a man with a false dgaf attitude who fails to take any chances despite them being clearly given to him.....that or this guy described a field report in a confusing way because he’s a prick......I’m really not too sure......I’m gonna go not ride an elephant now.

[–]lastdumra35 points36 points  (0 children) | Copy

OK, I admit I did not get it until I read comments like yours. I went back and read it again, it is actually quite genius. It describes the masculine mind in autistic mode very accurately.

[–]123InigoMontoya12315 points16 points  (1 child) | Copy

It reads similar to Charles Bukowski, the original pariah of modern society. Well written with painful undertones of male hamstering. Well done, OP.

[–]PhaedrusHunt2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I thought Bukowski first line. Bit of Camus too

[–]Intendto0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I thought it was about screening. Her dreams weren't congruent to his and she was filtered out.

[–]Turkerthelurker58 points59 points  (4 children) | Copy

Really enjoyed this post. Your writing is reminiscent of Chuck Phalunkadunk.

It made me think back to my confusion of dgaf attitude and actually not giving a fuck - in the depressed sense of not giving a fuck about anything. The author is going through the motions, playing the game without recognition of why they're playing. All to plan on doing the exact same thing again.

The real challenge is to give fucks. To seriously open up about your passions, to make it known what you are interested in - whether it be your hobbies, a night with her, or the prospect of dating her. To give fucks, but not give a fuck about the outcome.

He's there with his buddy physically, but they aren't really there. It's beyond sex and women, it's about living in the moment and genuinely connecting with people. To vibe with someone, and not get caught up in where that interaction is leading. To do otherwise makes every interaction pointless.

This reads like a guy that is RP aware, but depressed and/or lacking mission.

I’m happy for her that she has dreams. Too bad there isn’t a way for me to fit into them. Elephants scare me.

Laughed out loud to that

[–]1empatheticapathetic8 points9 points  (2 children) | Copy

This ‘depressed idgaf’ resonates with me. That’s probably me to a large degree. How do I decide to want to tell people about my shit but then not care if they care. Can’t seem to find that middle ground. My personality is a big shield to a degree and whenever I try to let it down I’m disappointed in the outcome.

[–]womans_algorithm4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

You should care less about your caring.

[–]1empatheticapathetic2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I thought I did until I read that comment

[–]123InigoMontoya1231 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Definitely some Chuck undertones, good call! But it definitely reminded of Bukowski as I read through it.

[–]Ravenanom15 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy

Lmao that was a fun read. I'm an ardent believer that story telling is the best way to get a message across because it engages us in a way a wall of text with instructions just can't.

Suffice to say, it was depressing to read it as well because I could picture myself in narrators shoes. The utter meaningless of doing something over and over again with no regard for 'a' bigger picture. He lives an empty life where he'd rather be the observer than be the one who takes control and just ....does.

I was that guy. I thought too much, and did a whole bunch of stuff that meant nothing because there was no sense of purpose behind them. Just meaningless drivel in a sea of meaningless action.

The saddest part, is that the Narrator is living in a prison that he doesnt even know is a prison.

Idk who to thank, but seeing those bars in my face was the biggest blessing I got in this world before I smacked into them with full force.

[–]silent_dominant16 points17 points  (0 children) | Copy

Went from autistic to hilarious real fast. You have a talent for writing, though I doubt this is your best crowd. please do it more often.

[–]Endorsed Contributorex_addict_bro13 points14 points  (1 child) | Copy

I LOVE THIS! <33333

TBH, the older I get, the "solid 8 hours" becomes a fantasy... it's harder and harder to achieve...

[–]fannyfire17 points18 points  (0 children) | Copy

God damn this isn’t literal faggots. It’s an example of how normal betas live their lives. Jesus.

[–]troutmask9615 points16 points  (3 children) | Copy

If you have any Blue Pill in you at all, you'll miss out on the obvious message contained in this post.

[–][deleted]  (8 children) | Copy


[–]Hock3yGrump28 points29 points  (2 children) | Copy

I love this reply, it shows every upvote from a member of the "Angry Sperg Battalion". Repeat the title three times while clicking your heels.

[–]Isbjornsolo11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

Nuance is not the bloopers strong suit. I found it hilarious.

Well written u/max_peenor, some real blue pill gems in there.

[–]Turkerthelurker8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Seriously. OP is 44% upvoted wtf

Edit: And now the % upvoted is missing. This site fucking sucks

[–]RP_utiliser4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

I like it because its like the internal monologue of someone with dgaf mentality and it shows how little everything matters and not to overthink things.

[–]PrettyBarbiePerson23 points24 points  (0 children) | Copy

It’s the inner monologue of exactly the opposite of what you should be thinking

It’s a joke

[–]IvanRussky1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Seems like your projecting the depression instead of enjoying the post for what it is, the acceptance of depression.

[–]casemodz0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks Dr Phil.

[–]Endorsed ContributorFereallyRed5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

"You are still dangerous. You can be my wingman anytime."

[–]Snowpeartea4 points5 points  (6 children) | Copy

Can someone explain this to me? It seems like their is a secret underlying message in this post.

[–][deleted]  (5 children) | Copy


[–]Senior Endorsed Contributormax_peenor[S] 4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

/u/theredpike. +1 please.

This was not the point of the post, but you absolutely nailed the cadence here. Yes. They were all IOIs. That was intentional. I will be doing a follow up post in a couple weeks.

[–]modTheRedPike1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy


[–]Snowpeartea0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Thanks now it makes a lot of sense to me. I thought it was a bit satirical but just needed to make sure

[–]chinatown2312 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

Finally a good post on this sub.

Thank you, I've learned a lot from this!

[–]2INNASKILLZ2K187 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

What I see is what happens when you're a completely ignorant bluepill bloop, with no understanding of dynamics, game or redpill.

I see a reminder for guys to get onto their shit, or end up like this guy. Nothing but consuming oxygen.

[–]DeborahBinLaden2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

This is hilarious why no upvotes

[–]Turkerthelurker2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

r/ incels was banned

[–]shark30k2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Okay I get that this is a sarcastic post, but still can someone please list out the seemingly obvious points for us beginners. Thank you. - A Beginner

[–]Gaboyski_2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

This would make an excellent entry in a middle school essay contest ngl

[–]tyronethejabrone2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is superb

[–]red_philosopher6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is what happens when you've pulled so many bitches you can't fucking even be bothered to get it up when one literally puts her vagina in your hands.

[–]_do_not_read_this_4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Some days you're just not in the mood.

[–]modAutoModerator[M] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Why are we quarantined? The admin don't want you to know.

Register on our backup site: https://www.trp.red and reserve your reddit name today.

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[–]AudioGuy7201 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I just found this subreddit and it's ridiculous that it is quarantined. There are Reddit pages with hardcore porn that aren't quarantined.

[–]Blue_Andre1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

It was obvious satire from the first paragraph onwards.

[–]Endorsed Contributorex_addict_bro3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

It wasn’t. If it was obvious then why post at all?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Superb post.

Would love a follow up post on how you got over that fear of elephants. You kind of answered that in the "Should I" post but the more the merrier.

[–]Project_Zero_Betas1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Elephants scare me.

Buddy, you don't know the half of it!

[–]UsernameIWontRegret1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

All these betas upvoting this thinking it’s profound like it’s some fucking quality piece of art or some shit.

“Oh look at all you beta losers who aren’t sophisticated enough to understand how this post fantastically describes the average mind of the BP person”

Gtfo of this sub, take your English writing degree, and shove it up your ass.

[–]A_Edgelord3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is not referring to blue pill people.

[–]Redpiller771 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Clever. It took me two paragraphs to realize.

[–]MrDoritos_0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I like cupcakes

[–]subaruguy14-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

This reads like some sperglord with fake dgaf that probably cried in the bathroom halfway through.

[–]omegalot-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Wow, shrooms really do work.

[–]Lost_soul95-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

delete this fucking useless post.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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