Am I being fucking stupid?

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January 9, 2020
92 upvotes

Background:

Age 26

Personal trainer

Earning $5K+ per month

5'10 built like a pro bodybuilder

Always had girls from young age (putting that down to looks initially)

Started practising PUA stuff about 3 years ago - got really good - found a GF who I really connected with and slowly upgraded from plate after her chasing commitment

LTR of 1 year - loyal, 8, submissive, worships the ground I walk on, many fun adventures and good sex etc etc

LTR gets pregnant - says she wants to keep it - I freak the fuck out but eventually come to entertain the idea of passing on my genetic legacy while never marrying and co-parenting if our relationship goes down the tube

LTR has miscarriage

LTR now saying she wants marriage and kids with me in the future

----

My situation now:

I keep having this gut feeling to drop everything ...

My career (PT clients), my LTR and my social circle in my current city ...

To travel the world, work on my blog (focused on topics of building muscle and women advice) and spin plates.

I'd head to Brazil, check out the latina ass, spin lates, practise BJJ in it's homeland and work on my blog.

Then head over to Vegas for early summer.

---

On paper as most my friends would say I have the picture perfect life ...

A gorgeous LTR who worships me, a career earning me good money, my own business doing something I'm passionate about (fitness/bodybuilding).

So am I stupid as fuck to drop all of this ...

Is my idea of travelling the world, spinning plates and writing my blog in just a big disney fantasy (and the fantasy will become boring after a few months) ...

Or am I following that gut feeling inside of me which will lead to even greater happiness/fulfillment.

I have no clue.

My gut tells me to go do it, go travel, go spin more plates, have experiences, follow my passions of writing about building muscle/redpill teachings.

And my head tells me I'm stupid to drop my PT client base I've spent years building up, that I may not find a girl as loyal/submissive as this one who believes in building a nuclear family unit (unlikely but possible). And that when I come back career wise I'll be starting again from (nearly) scratch in building up my client base.

---

When LTR became pregnant, this fantasy of pursuing my passion while travelling the world was all I thought about.

It killed me inside that all that would not be possible for a very long time if ever now.

And when she had miscarriage - as much I did feel some emotional pain - I also felt like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders and I felt free again.

---

I've asked my close friends and Dad for advice on this. Seems about a 50/50 split on people telling me don't do it and people telling me to do it.

---

Financial wise I'm absolutely fine and can afford no income stream for a solid 1 year+ if need be, but will also have income stream from some online clients and (who knows) maybe one day my blog/online platform could produce me a revenue stream.

----

What do you redpill brothers think?

Thanks in advance.

TLDR: Got good career, loyal/submissive gorgeous LTR. Thinking about dropping it all to go travelling, spin plates and work on online blog site writing about my passions on building muscle and redpill teachings.


Post Information
Title Am I being fucking stupid?
Author KingsLiving0908
Upvotes 92
Comments 125
Date 09 January 2020 01:50 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/305785
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/em9w1a/am_i_being_fucking_stupid/
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Red Pill terms found in post:
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Comments

[–]Was-Erlauben-Strunz191 points192 points  (38 children) | Copy

Gonna sound simplistic but why not just try it without abandoning what you built ? You can travel and experience all that for a month and see if its worth it (since you have a high income). There are literally bjj camps, train by day and game by night.

The grass is always greener and so on.

Be rational even regarding gut feelings, you can act upon it by objectively comparing the places (economic, social and cultural criteria for example), experience it and then make an informed decision.

[–]Massap2422 points23 points  (0 children) | Copy

Agree with this, other than the high income part OP has plenty of room to improve in that department. The idea of dropping everything to travel and bullshit around is stupid. Do that shit after your so rich, successful and satisfied that you won’t even have to ask this question. Until then keep working and travel when you get the chance.

[–][deleted]  (34 children) | Copy

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[–][deleted]  (9 children) | Copy

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[–]iwviw1 point2 points  (6 children) | Copy

In nyc you don’t need a car which saves a lot but apartment prices are bad but the rest of the country is catching up. If you want to live near downtown in a newerish apartment it’s going to cost close to nyc prices. Nyc is $500 more a month rent but a car can easily cost more

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy

I legit think your numbers are way off. Also, Cars dont cost $500 a month as long as you aren’t the idiot leasing a $300 a month car with $200 a month insurance or commuting 2 hours to work which is double dumb.

Rent in Central LA is nearly double most other metros I’ve considered living in. I can get a nice one bedroom loft in a new building in Austin for under 1.5k. Houston is cheaper. Anywhere in the midwest is probably less. It costs me 2.7k in LA. NYC and Manhattan are way more expensive for comparable amenities.

[–]iwviw-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

Millions of people finance or lease cars for $300 or more. The average new car is like $500 a month alone. Not every 1br in LA is 2700$ a month. You can get a 1br for wayyy cheaper. If you want to pay stupid prices downtown Houston have $2200 1br apartments too

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

People leasing $500 cars are idiots. This is a self improvement group and if you are leasing above your means, you should probably make one of your first goals to get out of it.

My place is considerably new and nice with central AC, washer/dryer in unit, etc. the cheapest studio in central LA, assuming you dont want to live next to Skid Row, is about $1500 for an absolute shithole of a place with no amenities, thin walls, and shit management that doesnt give a fuck.

The cheapest okay tiny studios are about $2000 here. Talking like 400-500 sq feet and newer/renovated. Sure you can live in the valleys, but traffic here is atrocious and living 5 miles from work means a 1 hour commute.

I’m looking at apartment listings in downtown Houston that are comparable to my apartment. They start around $1200-$1400. Cheapest one bedrooms I see in Manhattan are like 3k. You can be on the other side of the East River for a couple hundred less. I’m sure there are cheap shitholes for $500 less, but thats it.

Also check any cost of living index out there, housing in NYC is something like 125% ($1400 city center 1 bdr vs $3000) more on average. LA city center average is $2200 plus you need a car here.

[–]clickherebaby-3 points-2 points  (2 children) | Copy

500 or more a month. What the fuck? You couldnt get 500 a month in the fucking ghetto in Chicago metro area. Bottom most youd find is 800

[–]iwviw6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

It’s $500 dollars more a month. Like a $1200 apt in downtown Houston is $1700 in Brooklyn, in Manhattan it’s $2200

[–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

he said it is 500 more than the average rent

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

TrueFacts

[–]DatRiggz0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Your boy now considers himself high income. Cheaaaaa!

[–]HeresToTheNext204 points5 points  (17 children) | Copy

You also need to keep in mind how many hours he is actually working a week to get 5k per month. I’d leave my job in a heartbeat if it was guaranteed 5k a month for 20 years with flexible 30-40 hours per week, for example.

[–][deleted]  (16 children) | Copy

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[–]HeresToTheNext201 point2 points  (15 children) | Copy

Why would you be? Was there risk of the job going away? That sounds like a dream work life balance situation.

[–][deleted]  (14 children) | Copy

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[–]clickherebaby1 point2 points  (12 children) | Copy

You may have grown up homeless, but you were born with the hardware to be successful. Id take a vacation in iran naked for 5 months with no money if it meant i had a 50% chance at being half as successful as you

[–][deleted]  (11 children) | Copy

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[–]Prov961 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Can you PM some of these ideas/ professions?

I am looking to learn some skills on the side while working a full time job.

[–]morningjoe16m1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Where?!? I have a degree and would kill for a $50k salary right now lol.

[–]clickherebaby0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yea i dont like the field im currently in and really dont even know what the next steps could be, nor do i really care.

[–]RacistMuffin0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

May I also join in on this. I'm really curious as I am in college atm.

[–]furoshus0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'll take one! I work my ass off for my 5k a month...

[–]TipsyLeo0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Soooo I’m just gonna take a wild guess here that it’s something to do with programming that your nitching to these guys?

[–]throbaley0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

MLM, time to sell this beauty gel babeee!

[–]damaged_goods4200 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Pm pls

[–]RiusGoneMad1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I am also curious please pm me too.

[–]Blazer8083 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

I think it highly depends on your lifestyle choices. If you want luxurious parties, mansions, coke and an assortment of sports cars? No. If you want to live a middle class - high middle class lifestyle it seems ok, especially if you're not in debt.

[–]clickherebaby-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

It depends on genes. The luckier someone is, the more theyll preach it was hardwork that got them there.

[–]L2diy1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

definitely not high income. I'm about there at 23 and I definitely don't feel like I'm where I want to be financially.

[–]isitmorphingtime0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

GBP fam

[–]TheBunk_TB0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If you live in the sticks, it's good.

[–]fannyfire1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Agreed.

He could take a month off and see if he likes the life. No need to burn down a completely good lifestyle.

[–]Nofapislit0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

yea and wear condoms! dumbass. Life ain't free and don't lose your small compound interest you built. As for ltr say you'll marry her and have kids in 5 years. You want to travel, and get financially free first she'll love it. If she's an 8 and a good girl sounds like a baby mama to me. Do not marry her ass though, unless prenup.

[–][deleted]  (6 children) | Copy

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[–]ClockLad19 points20 points  (5 children) | Copy

Who the fuck hasn’t thought of going full narrator/Tyler Durden and destroying all their possessions to experience true freedom.

I recently bought my own place and had to order a duvet cover and thought of that scene where he talks about duvet covers in the movie.

Letting go of everything to experience true freedom sounds like a great gig - but it’s easier said than done.

[–]mabden18 points19 points  (4 children) | Copy

Letting go of everything to experience true freedom sounds like a great gig - but it’s easier said than done.

At age 19, I was unemployed (laid off electrician in a recession) plenty of part time/side work, and other hustles. Life revolved around riding my bike from town to town, meeting up with friends, partying, gaming chicks. Life was good with no more than 20 bucks in my pocket at any one time.

Eventually, an opportunity came up to do some traveling. This ended up being a two year adventure of me basically hitch-hiking around the country, taking on any jobs available in whatever area I found myself. Never had a real roof over my head, sleeping under bridges, in fields, on peoples floors/couches. SIDE NOTE: this is a great way to approach/meet chicks. Approach a group (never a single) of chicks usually gets a stink eye from the alpha of the group, but a short intro that I am from NY and looking for some friends in the area. This usually leads to opening up and eventually invitations of 'do you have a place to stay?'

Anyway, the experiences will never be forgotten, the personal growth and confidence exponential. I lived free and sometimes easy, sometimes not. Met all kinds of people. When I came back to home town, it was with a backpack, sleeping bag and a great traveling companion, my Australian Shepard.

I would never give those experiences (good/bad) up for anything. In the latter stages of my life, I look forward to the same opportunity with the only difference being with a truck/camper my wife and our Shepard.

[–]user201806201 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Wait a minute.... You scored with chicks while essentially homeless?

Dude, you need to tell this in more detail. What game were you seeing, what chicks we're you targeting, what we're the logistics, etc. And honestly, how hot are you?

[–]PhaedrusHunt1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

over in the main sub there's a thread today by a homeless vet talking about how he walked seven miles to one of his plate's houses lol.

[–]user201806201 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I just saw that.

TBH, I'm still utterly confused by this. Like, maybe if the plate is an ugly crackhead? But a normal girls... I cannot imagine ever touching a homeless guy..like. under any circumstances.

Maybe hostel traveling college girls, who just don't care about money... But even then, you've got to be clean and smell good.

I'd love to see some infield of a homeless guy really running effective game, I feel like I'm missing something to understand it.

[–]PhaedrusHunt3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Man if you got game you've got game.

I was basically homeless living in a hostel in Hawaii. Now look this is by choice I just divorced my first wife and moved there was working as a tour guide for Japanese tourists because I speak the language.

I met an HB 9.9 Japanese chick that was there on vacation and she basically just took me in and put me up for a couple of weeks

Then she left and I wound up staying at the place where we were at, smash another Japanese chick that was there and nearly a couple more

My wife is super hot, very stylish and classy. Looks like Lisa Bonet or rae dawn Chong or Meghan markle that type.

She said to me once that sometimes trailer trash guys are the hottest.

I think it's just that edge.

We talk about not giving a fuck.

Who gives less fucks than a guy that's on the streets?

[–]hoopingblob55 points56 points  (3 children) | Copy

Hmmm... Here's something that I hope is useful for you.

I had an uncle who had the perfect life. He was rich, had a beautiful girl, a nice car, a nice house and he basically was always somewhere else. One day tho he broke up with his girl, sold his house and car, bought a ticket to sically (my home country) spend all the money to buy land and sheeps and he became a Sheppard. I asked him why did he do it and he answered with something so wise I still remember to this day:

"Too many people think they have it all and still want more. They hold on to the things they have and still try to gain new stuff. I realized that I had to let go of my past life in order to get a new life with new experiences that I could learn from. I just did what I felt was right"

He is happy to this day and healthy as well. Just do what you feel is the right thing to do. If it means letting everything you have built go then so be it.

[–]throwing8smokes9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah man, you gotta live the life YOU want not the life society, or other people around you tell you to want.

[–]KillaJewels1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Read, "The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari".

[–]MagicPiper3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

👆This

[–]gsp951126 points27 points  (7 children) | Copy

What's up with this plague of an ideal to drop everything you've built in a lifetime to go and "travel the world"? Fuck that, honestly. It looks to me you're being a delusional romantic.

In your current situation you've finally come to a place in time where you can benefit from all your hard work and still keep on improving.

I think you should investigate within yourself what is it that you truly want out of this life. Don't be so quick to take such a drastic decision with irreversible consequences. Yes, you can probably build up everything from scratch later, but is it really worth it to go through that hassle again?

What's stopping you from just taking some time off, a vacation? and maybe take your LTR with you or just end things with her since you want to plate other women and have some latina ass.

I'm sure you can also find the free time to work on your blog without risking everything else.

Just my two cents.

[–]drakehfh10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly. If you are on your way to build an empire, why the fuck stop it?

[–]LoneStarG846 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy

I think for a lot of people "traveling the world" is rooted in jealousy. Frequently traveling to exotic places is becoming more and more seen as a luxury that few can afford, so it's now a status symbol like owning a fancy car or a big house.

Speaking from an American perspective, there's a LOT of anti-American propaganda that comes from within our own country. We're constantly told how awful this country is and how there's no culture (which is absurd). Not surprising that young people want to escape and see these places that are so glorified by media.

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy

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[–]LoneStarG840 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Winston Churchill actually saw a great deal of the world. But, to go with your point, he did it to get shit done, not fuck around and post on social media for clout.

[–]Nofapislit0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

perfect answer listen to this guy

[–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen17 points18 points  (2 children) | Copy

Age 26

This is your problem. You commited too early. this is why we constantly tell you to not commit until your mid thirties or even later.

The crabs here will all tell you to play it safe. I say do whatever makes you happy.

Sure the grass is always greener on the other side, but you'd also not want to take your last shit after 50 years of boredom, wondering what could have become of you.

[–]_Ulan_1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

What he said, OP. You can GTFO and enjoy life, you will have time to get kids in 10-20 years

[–]PhaedrusHunt1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Straight up man. I'm married with kids, but I'm 41 and I've led a life.

I was a dumb kid and knocked up my girlfriend when I was 26 same as this guy-- But by that point I had already lived in the Caribbean, Hawaii and Japan.

I'm so glad I had all of those opportunities before my dick got the better of me.

look you can pick up and do the things you want at any time in your life but when you're young it's a hell of a lot easier

[–]throbaley39 points40 points  (3 children) | Copy

Do you really want to put your future in the hands of some internet randoms who have absolutely no stakes at your happiness?

What if we tell you just do it and you lose your portfolio, get in an accident or some other shit to ruin your life? Do you think people here will feel bad about themselves for giving bullshit platitudes of "just follow your dreams"? Or what if that turns out to be the best decision you have done in your life completely changing your life for the better and opened doors you have never thought about?

And what if we tell you dont risk it so you continue doing what you are doing constantly unhappy with the gnawing what ifs rushing in your mind everytime you put your head on the pillow.

Its your decision, your life, you are the one who will live through the consequences of that choice be them good or bad. If I were you I would see a therapist to see why I want such a drastic change in my life. Am I depressed, truely unfulfilled, just looking for a thrill?

[–]LethalShade5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

You have a lot of good points but I don't like the perspective of "why are you asking us to make a choice for you?"

I don't think that's what he's doing. He's just looking for perspective and experience from people that have done similar things. I would hope that no one that asks for advice just follows it blindly.

[–]immortal_wound1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yes he should be able to decide this for himself. It shouldn't be our responsibility to decide this difficult path for him. He knows it deep down what itll be the outcome of both choices. I just hope that if he does decide a path, make sure he will go full FORCE ahead without regretting his decision.

[–]lokilis0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I second the therapist idea. Or perhaps just some significant time allocated to self-reflection.

[–]BodomDeth9 points10 points  (4 children) | Copy

Topic aside, how do you make 5k/month by being a personal trainer at 26?

Very large social circle who are also your clients?

[–]Youngyoda893 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy

Especially after fucking taxes holy shit ima fucking engineer and I hold 3 positions at my company, age 29 and only make 4875 after taxes per month. Plus my benefits are shit.

[–]throbaley4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

What is the responsibilities of a fucking engineer? Are you designing dildos?

[–]Youngyoda892 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Only when your mom needs a custom size bc they typically don’t make the diameter large enough for her minimum requirements.

[–]throbaley0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah my dad spoiled her.

[–]PerryWinkleTheThird3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Like everyone is saying, grass is always greener. It just depends on how much you’re willing to risk. 3-5 years down the line you could think that you screwed up your entire life by dropping your career and the best woman you could find. Ok the flip side, things could go wrong with your career and your ltr and you could wish you had traveled the world.

My suggestion would be to build up your blog/online content before you commit to any longterm travel. Make sure that you have a consistent revenue stream before starting anything - you can build a blog based on “travel” with fairly little actual travel. Plenty of people do it. My sister and her husband made the mistake of starting their travel/van life fantasy before making sure their online blog/business could earn them money.

Once you can ensure consistent revenue from your blog, test out the travel. Do somewhat small trips both on your own, and with your LTR. You should know what choice to make after that.

[–]821sleepingbag2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ngl idk how much money you can make with a fitness and girls blog. Like would I read about some jacked dude taking about how big he is and how many chicks he fucks in Brazil, hell no. There’s already too many cunts out there trying to give advice.

In the short term it Sounds like a good plan but will run aground real quick without a way to fund yourself going forward.

[–]Smuggler-Tuek2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

As a long time MRP member, for the love of god do not sacrifice what you want for someone else’s wishes. Honestly most of marriage sucks and you have to have your shit REALLY together for it to pay off at all. Remember that the relationship you have now is a fantasy that will fall apart the second you say I do. The entire dynamic changes and don’t think for a second she will care that you chose her over your dreams. She will think less of you for it. You know deep down what you want so do that.

[–]Vivek00012 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

This might sound harsh, but its my opinion. I don't want to dilute it, if I am going to make an effort to comment I have to keep it real.

You don't deserve a good girl like her.

Man up, learn to take responsibilities in life, quit running way acting like a little boy.

I am not talking about the traveling/blog part here, this is for your LTR.

Think about it, wrong it seems from a third person perspective, your whole life you search for a good girl, and when you get her, and her respect and her trust. do you really want to act like a bitch and run away making excuses?

I suggest, do a deep introspection, try to find the reason for your insecurity. It might be just due to the idea of settling down given your current mindset or something deeper.

personally if I was at your place, given that the girl is a good human at heart and likes/respects you, and you both have a good understanding between you both. I would never let her go.

And mind you I am not suggesting to stop your blog and travel dreams, you can still do it, or you can both go on travel together, it will be a good experience, and you will get to know her better while making some life long memorable experiences.

ps- If you are doubting your love for her, and/or unable to form emotional bonds with girls even after LTRs, I will suggest to breakup with her. and from now on try putting your conditions straight up.

together or not, hope you both have a good life.

[–]izzyinjurious4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

You’re asking on here. You already know what you wanna do. Just do it. Life is short to be tied up all the time. Go fucking do what you want. If it doesn’t work out, build yourself back up again. Or just hate life because you never did it

[–]1rugged792 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

The answer is nah.

Like most people already said, establish the Blog. Vlog is probably better of you're more photogenic and can speak comfortably into a camera. Faster acquisition of followers and social media buzz.

Or take a vacation to Brazil while working on the Vlog/Blog.

As far as your relationship, just let her know you think the relationship is moving too fast and want to take more time to enjoy just being with one another.

Chicks are in a rush to be married and have kids because they're uncomfortable with themselves. Or they have underlying issues and think marriage and kids are a magical elixir that's going to fix everything.

Or break up with her if she doesn't want to slow down. Some women have an agenda. To some of them, their agenda is even more important than their actual significant other.

[–]Gaidsbola4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Chicks are in a rush to have kids because nature gave them a biology shelf life in that department

[–]1rugged791 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is also true among other reasons.

[–]fannyfire1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I say the same thing and I’m married. Whenever my wife talks about kids I have my days where I’m excited or polar opposite and think holy shit. Either way, if you walk away from this chick you better have a good frame. You two will always have had a kid, even if it was a miscarriage. That sort of shit haunts a woman so be ready for that shit storm if you do decide to bail.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Try it before you buy into it. Test drives precede the purchase.

[–]NabroleonBonaparte1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You’re not stupid because you’re taking the time to think all of this through, but you are thinking a little impulsively because you’re at a crossroads for the direction of your life.

Here are the major things that you need to ask yourself:

1) Do you actually love this girl enough to keep her around? She needs to actively be putting effort into your mission, she doesn’t just get upgrade status because she spreads her legs for you. If she isn’t helping you reach your goals, you should think hard about whether you want to keep her around. Consider why her being pregnant worried you but her miscarriage relieved you. You’re definitely not ready to be a dad and play house. She’s just pressuring you because in “female world” she’s sacrificed to be with you (sex, pregnancy, miscarriage, etc) and feels that she needs to recoup her investment.

2) How do you think your career will look when you’re 35? You said you’re financially stable right now, but you need to have a plan set up so that the money steadily increases as you move through your 30s. I think it would be foolish to drop your clients. Clients = steady money. If I were you, I’d jumpstart that blog idea and collect all of my clients info so that I can transition them into digital clients. Learn how to sell digital products (training/nutrition programs etc) through Gumroad and Twitter/website so that you can be location independent. But don’t go cold turkey, keep your current income source until you build your next one then decide if you want to drop your first.

3) You’re 26. You’re young enough to want to have fun but with 30 inching closer you gotta start thinking long-term stability. Travel isn’t an issue. You have plenty of time to do that, and if you successfully transition to your blog idea, you’ll have plenty of time and freedom to travel. Right now, I would take short vacations. Now about banging the Latinas, this goes hand in hand with #1. If you feel the same about keeping this girl as you do about losing her, dump her. If you keep improving, there’ll always be another girl. You’ll just have to put in the work to date and vet. Men don’t have a wall at 30, unless they’re poor. That said, banging those Latinas will be like getting drunk, it’ll be fun in the moment but you won’t have anything to show for it later. I’m not saying don’t do it, I just want you to make that decision rationally instead of believing a naive fantasy.

In conclusion, make a rough plan of how you want your 30s to look. Don’t just drop your stability for fun. The fun won’t disappear, but your stability can. You need money to have fun and if you have no money, you’ll be poor and bored. I’d also really think about if you want to be with this girl. It’s one thing for her to want assurance that you guys are serious, but it shouldn’t be a dealbreaker if you tell her “yes, but let’s move slowly.” Otherwise you gotta dump her.

[–]SmurfSC2TW21 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

My own personal rules: if you ever need to ask someone else "should i", the answer is always yes. For you to ask in the first place already means something.

Given that you seek external validation, I can conclude:

(1) you don't like the status quo, else you wouldn't even ask

(2) you weight two options equally, else you wouldn't even ask

(3) you believe can't influence the odd nor the pay off, else you wouldn't even ask

Hence, always choose the action. At least you get out of the status quo. The actual outcome, no one knows.

[–]Psychological_Radish1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sounds to me like you're just bored.

High achieving men aren't satisfied coasting through life. There always has to be a new goal and new challenges. Traveling can fill that void because the world is so big, and there's always something new to see. I've loved traveling since I was a kid. I still feel a rush when I step onto the airplane. But I wouldn't want that to be my life. Traveling is like eating or fucking or any other sensory experience. It's fantastic in the moment, and you should probably get it out of your system when you feel the urge, but there's no real long term goal.

Before you go that route, I would be sure that there isn't some other underlying issue. Is it bodybuilding work that isn't exciting? Or is it the question of "now what?" that has you down?

The woman issue is a bit different. Rollo once said that he could accept settling down with his wife because he'd already banged models. Sounds like you still want to try other girls from different cultures. I know I do. We're the same age, and the idea of settling down with a monogamous LTR is an alien thought at this stage of my life. My intention is to spend the next 5-10 years smashing.

[–]medsreddit1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I would say that your story reminds me of women who leave their bfs to fuck around the CC and that youre stupid but thinking about it, I think you should leave. You'd be getting what you want and your girlfriend doesn't deserve you anyways if at the idea of commitment you want to run away. Just go dude

[–]throwing8smokes1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sounds like you need a vacation, and might be bored with what you got. Why don't you take a week to a month off to recollect and gather your thoughts. You could be burned out a bit honestly. You could be burned out for months, which is why your gut is like "fuck it all" bc it's giving you stress.

[–]TFWnoLTR1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Follow your gut. You're only 26. Traveling for a few years isn't going to fuck you over in the long term.

You obviously want to do it, so do it. Odds are, after a month you'll miss your old life and come back to it. Then there's that chance you never want to come back and it ends up being the best decision you ever made. You won't know until you try, and if you don't try it will eat at you for years.

Just book a flight already.

[–]maljo241 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Go, travel. This is the time in your life to do it.

[–]lolomotif121 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You think you're confused but you're not, you just need to think. How you felt when your LTR was pregnant is your true raw feelings about all this. You are 26 and have a long time to still find a good LTR and build a family so that's not a good enough reason to sacrifice your youth and life for. As for the work, you can still persue your business after your travels or find another industry where you can use your experience to continue where you left off. Everything you currently have in life you can replace, the only thing you can't replace is time and that's what you're sacrificing. Not a good trade off if you ask me.

[–]urbancore1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

do not start a family till you are in your 40's.

she should be at least 15 years younger than you with:

great looks, zero debt, a career, a stable group of friends, great genes, great work ethic, loves kids, good credit, a low n count. She should not come from a divorced family. Never try to fix a woman, its not your job, it's her job. Can't take care of kids if you can't take care of yourself.

When you are in your mid 40's, you will still be attracted to 20 yo and they will be attracted to you...bad. And you will be in a marriage for the last 20 years with teenagers at home sucking up your time and money.

Reverse that:

  1. First you get the money.
  2. Then you get the power.
  3. Then you get the women.

Source.....my life....lived exactly like that. The caliber of girl i dated as a successful 30+ was completely different that what I dated in my 20's. And I don't just mean hot. The best of the your social circles will beat a path to your door, and you choose. I settled down at 40, wife is 12 years younger, now 51 with a 3 and 5 yo. Life is great. Family is amazing, wouldn't change a thing.

Marriage is for older successful men and younger men. You both have to bring something to the table....you don't have shit yet.

[–]the-bro1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sounds like LTR is making power plays to try and lock you down, and your brain is telling you that you do not want that.

Good girls are hard to come by but there are many out there. Stop thinking she's the ONE for you because she's not the only one that could have your kids.

You're in a good place in life. Good earning power, strong position. Many girls would compete for someone with that kind of material.

I say trust your gut. Stay away from drugs, take some alone time and reflect on what everyone here is telling you. Don't make any rash moves yet. You may find that you do want to settle down with her. You may find that you do not, which was your gut instinct upon finding out she was pregnant before "entertaining" the idea of passing on genes. Remember, once you've had a kid with her, there's no going back.

Good luck bro.

[–]11-Eleven-111 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Why not travel and do all that with your ltr?

[–]haxewep241 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Stopped reading after you said you are built like a pro bodybuilder lmao. Are you 220lbs on stage? Lmao

[–]DatRiggz0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Lmao literally thought the same

[–]barragan141 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

May or may not help....

Last year I had a really good relationship with a good girl with career and degrees ; pretty good chemistry, good looks, all that....

In the meantime training for boxing and getting in shape.

Towards the fall one of my assignments required me to travel a lot. One of my trips I decided to have some fun and cut ties with the girl to do so. Felt bad about it but i felt it was direction I needed to go in. I am still traveling even more and will be consistently for the better half of this year.

So far I’ve met some pretty great people and some really good women. Although temporary, I’ve seen that the more you grow as a person, the better quality people that start to surround you. There is no way I could go back to the girl I left now after all I’ve done so far and what I have learned.

Experience and adventure come at a price. There’s always sacrifices When making decisions that will change your life. Just make sure your measuring them carefully. If you think you can manage a new life like that, than go for it. Just don’t expect to fall back into things as they were before, because that life will be gone. You can risk it all, and get nothing. Or get everything. But just like any challenge, it’s what you make of it.

[–]psychotropy1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It sounds like you've got the sort of girl worthy of your commitment man...As others have said, the grass is always greener ... until it isn't... But, it you really and truly need to get it out of your system that badly, look into taking a BJJ vacation in Brazil for a month. Go alone, train, & get some Brazilian ass.

I'd personally stick with the good girl, job, etc...but I get the allure of going out into the unknown. Just remembered, time passes real fucking fast. So if you're not willing to give this girl what she wants (which appears to be a life with you), it's only fair to not waste any more of her or your time.

[–]marlboromans1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Don't get me wrong, travelling is good fun but you need to decide whether it's worth dropping/altering your current mission for.

Weigh up whether the trip would be the same as you view it in your mind - I found in Asia the stray dogs, pollution and garbage everywhere alongside not trusting the locals who often harass tourists for money somewhat destroyed my idealistic view of the place, and I was glad I only opted for a 1 month party based holiday (which is always fun) rather than committing to longer because I NEEDED to be back in a first world country by the end of it.

[–]MassiveWerewolf01 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Another thing to consider is the fact you say you want to drop everything including the girlfriend to travel (and bang other chicks). Perhaps this is just a roundabout way of breaking up with this girl - you might just be yearning for this physical space between you both because you need a 'faux' reason to call it quits which is better than being stuck in a circle of uncertainty. Have had these thoughts myself.

[–]tefllifestyle1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I quite university and went to travel the world and i am happiest than ever. Been to over 30+ countries.

One thing i advice is make sure your financies are setup properly and that you also think about your future. Meaning you should save money aswell and try to invest it wisely. Do not live on the edge financially.

You can always find a girl in the future who is willing to travel long term with you if you pay for the expenses. Harder option is they have a laptop job. Some ppl even travel with their kids full time.

Do not let your current life limit your imagination. If you work hard things can be achieved.

[–]WolfofAllStreetz3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

You’re 26 and doing well, remember women do not age like wine they age like fish.

Enjoy your life, why get so serious with her. She is trying to lock you down.

You may want to mosey into MRP.

[–]MagicPiper0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Since you can afford a year, do it.

“Don’t worry about failure, worry about the chances you miss if you don’t even try.”

[–]muricanwerewolf10 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Both of those choices sound like a pretty good life to live. You just have to decide which one is you.

[–]thetotalpackage70 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Go for three months and see how you feel. You dont have to dump this chick. If it was meant to be she'll be there. She doesnt need to know about all the banging you're doing- just wrap it up.

[–]temerity180 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Whatever you do make sure you have offspring because YOU decided to have some. Not because a woman decides to trap you. Don't make the same mistake twice. Like Rollo says: always be in control of the birth.

[–]extraterrestial0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Your 26, you can have kids and Seattle down when 36, go live your life now, Seattle down later.

[–]bilabrin0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You should say exactly this to her.

Maybe take out the part about BJ's and Brazilian ass.

Whatever you decide your relationship and your life with or without her will be better if you tell her the truth.

She may say something that sways you one way or the other but either way, standing on honest ground is the most refreshing and freeing relief you'll ever feel and whatever comes of it will be burden-free and better-informed.

[–]Gaidsbola0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If you truly desire to do those things then do them. Yeah you’ll seem like a ass hole to the world for abandoning her but if you have the means to make traveling the world happen and if it’s what you want then do it. Remember there is no “The One”. You’ll meet other girls like the current ltr that can fill that role. Every guy has many “ones” that he cochleae settle down with. Most never meet any except for one due to lack of abundance. Look at it this way maybe the miscarriage was nature’s way of saying not to procreate with this girl.

[–]Youngyoda890 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I can’t believe you make 5k after taxes as a personal trainer! Fuck! Where the fuck do I sign up at?

[–]PreEntertain0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I don't get why you don't take her

[–]solstone1090 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Trust your gut. As pook hassaid, paradise if said slowly is a "pair of dice". Roll'em if you gott'em

[–]morningjoe16m0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

How long did it take you to make 50k? I just started as a personal trainer in nyc in November and am making $15 an hour $26 when I train someone and tbh this shit sucks so far.

[–]tonivevo0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Hey OP,

I was thinking about the reaction that your LTR has when she had this miscarriage.

I actually feel her reaction was triggered because she felt extremely insecure and not enough of a woman due to her miscarriage.

First of all, god bless her. I wish her the best.

But be aware that this is also a shit test when she was begging you to stay and commit to her exclusively.

Make the (right) decision based on the man you think yourself of. I would talk to her and tell her that you love her (if you do), but also talk about what you want in life and she has to adjust if she wants to be a part of it.

And ditch your job. If you are already thinking about it, then there is a high chance that you become miserable if you continue to do so.

I quote a wise man from Nigeria: “Being a man is not a day’s job.”

[–]unnatural_by_nature0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Sounds like someone has been reading Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck.

If you haven’t, you need to. He addresses your “dilemma” repeatedly throughout the entire thing

[–]rockyp320 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Honestly it won’t let it’ll be fun for a while but eventually you’ll probably feel empty cause u don’t have a purpose

[–]Victimized0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

lmao 5k a month? you a broke boy

[–]Zanford0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Do a short term version of your plan, aka a vacation, maybe do it for a summer (or whatever the low season for being a personal trainer is). See if it's what you really imagine. It may suck, or it may be great but then you got your fill after only a month or two.

What would your plan for income be while traveling or living in Brazil? If you just plan to live off your savings as you say, are you sure you could get your job back or an equivalent one when you got back?

Do you speak Brazilian Portuguese?

Is your vision of Brazilian women informed by actual boots on the ground experience or by looking at Leo's girlfriends and Victoria's Secret models?

You need savings - personal trainers are one of the first expense for people to cut in a recession.

Your plan would be better if you could line up a personal trainer gig at your destination - gives you money, another way to meet bros and women, and something to give you a sense of purpose (I doubt you're gonna daygame every single waking hour in the parks there). Even working a random job at a BJJ studio there would be something, would give you some money, connections to locals bros, and probably free gym usage.

There's a good chance your LTR 'forgot to take her pills' and had a 'deliberate accident'. It's even possible she was never pregnant (did you ever attend a Dr appoint with her or see her piss on the stick?) and was hoping it would get you to propose (or get you to stop using condoms / give her an excuse to go off the pill, and then she really would get pregnant!)

[–]iillegally0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

At least use a fucking condom retard.

[–]Cfo770 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Nah bro stay a bachelor for life man, kick that hoe to the curve. Her value as gone down move on to the next bitch

[–]academicRedditor0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Running away from responsibilities?

[–]dwayneglasscock0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If this is what you really want to do then you will regret not doing it down the road.

[–]PimpinAce1750 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

She’s not going to be hot forever, women are like cars, they lose their value over time

[–]onionknightofknee0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

nothing stopping you from successfully blogging now while working.

[–]xxx69harambe69xxx0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

you should do it

[–]intl_plyrs_clb0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

First and foremost: Don't let other people tell you they know the rules for you life.

If you have a gut feeling about it, follow your gut.

Sounds like you're overall doing well in life, pull the trigger, try it out and if it isn't what you want, move back.

As for the girl: You should never be afraid to pack it up and leave.

Or don't. At the end of the day it's your life

[–]PhaedrusHunt0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Dude you got a get out of jail free card.

Now you're asking if you should go straight back to jail.

Go with your gut man. I know you're nervous but take it from me as someone who lived out of the country at a younger age than you-- You only get one shot at this life. Dig in and fucking go for it man.

[–]theUnBannableHulk1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

YES.

Didn’t even read the thread but when a Man asks himself that question the answer is invariably YES. Gonna go read now.

Edit: YES (with caveats)

  1. You haven’t specified if it’s a cucked country or non cucked. If non-cucked, and she wifey material (but AWALT remember) then nothing stopping you from having mistresses on the side and traveling while she preggers. Also, yeah your biz is gonna take a hit, blogging ain’t all that it’s cracked up to be but you sound like a solid dude who can handle setbacks. Non-cucked is: country that does not have no-fault divorce, alimony and child-support.

  2. If cucked country then your plan to travel and spin plates is better provided you still have a realistic timeline or plans of marriage and settling down. If you choose hedonism and nihilism then I will say YES it’s a stupid decision to give up your genetic legacy but it’s your life so do what you wanna do. Also PRENUP in cucked countries as you’re gonna regret when the bish divorces you and takes your shit and your kids. In fact, if you go this route just don’t marry or bring back your wife to your cuckland srs.

[–]Andrew543210 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Follow your gut.

[–]covertpenguin33900 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Stupid? No. Outside of having a body builder body i have what you have and double the money almost. And I’ve already done some traveling (Brazil twice, Africa, japan, Europe, Peru). I’m engaged to a girl that is as close to a unicorn as possible. I’m 30. And i still have thoughts of dropping it all, including the chick. That being said, i don’t have the looks you do so while i never had girl issues, i swim in a sea of 6s and 7s when I’m single and remembering my last single period of a year, most girls are just trash and after a while it gets old.

I recommend not just nuking everything instantly. Go take a two week trip somewhere alone or with a male friend. Not with your chick. Make it to the dream place you’ve wanted to visit. It’ll let you clear your head. See if you really want other pussy. If you’ve never traveled abroad before you may end up missing America (or wherever) faster than you think. You make good money and have financial security. While if you’re not an idiot it’s not that hard to accomplish, trying to replicate somewhere you don’t know the language can be a bitch and i doubt you’ll have the same earning potential in a poorer country.

As for Brazil, it’s a great fun country. It’s where my fiancée is from so i also am pretty in tune with their culture. If you’re a white American, and learn Portuguese (more difficult than Spanish but similar language) you would crush pussy like it’s going out of style. American dollar is 4:1 there so for a vacation your money takes you super far. There’s a ton of crime so you need to research where you stay. Don’t think you can couch surf in the favelas or some shit. Food is good. A really fun loving culture. Tons of places to visit in the country that would probably take you over a year to hit them all. Before you just quit your life though i would take a two week trip there to São Paulo e Rio de Janeiro to see if you actually like it. Their economy is in the dumps and I’m not familiar on the work visa system there. But tourists can visit for free at least. Let me know if you have any Brazil questions and i can probably answer them. Except for BJJ, i don’t know much about MMA.

[–]AnneStaz-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

niggling lol

[–]AnneStaz-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Drop it all and travel the world, doing a few months here few months there wherever you feel like dude. I've been doing it and it's fuckin awesome. If you want any tips just let me know. There's a huge digital nomad community out there and everybody is usually really cool. You make the cash to support travel + decent studio pretty much anywhere you'd like with a few small exceptions. You'd have a blast.

[–]teabagabeartrap-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think this EVERY Time I order food at a restaurant.

I order a rumpsteak with butter and the person near to me a ripeye and some secret sauce. And everytime I think "should have ordered that".

But no, this is just my greed to want it all. That is the Lizard brain speaking, turned on my media, that we have all options we want, etc....

In reality, that what I ordered is my favorite food and I enjoy it the most... the thought about something different is just, that I forgot and didn't appreciate what I have... In reality it is the best! (and yes at this point I recommend to google for conan - what is best in life at youtube ;))

[–]Enlightened_Chimp-3 points-2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Gut Instinct is never wrong.



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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