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Anyone ever meet someone who was way too natural / present?

Reddit View
January 5, 2020
101 upvotes

I’ve met a ton of people since being on trp but I’ve only met two people who just seemed way too natural / present. Like when talking to them you could just tell they had a different kind of brain. Absolutely no anxiety or self doubt and every word and movement just flows naturally, the complete definition of charisma.

How are some people just born like this? One of the one I met claimed it comes from his perception of the world from having a perfect childhood but I feel like there’s something more to it since I’m sure there’s tons of other people who had perfect childhoods but still have at least a little self doubt/anxiety


Post Information
Title Anyone ever meet someone who was way too natural / present?
Author femaledoglover6
Upvotes 101
Comments 82
Date 05 January 2020 05:54 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/306135
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/ek8yri/anyone_ever_meet_someone_who_was_way_too_natural/
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Comments

[–]VictxrSenpai[🍰] 57 points58 points  (3 children) | Copy

Im the same if i popped an adderall

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy

[deleted]

[–]femaledoglover6[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Nahh I’ve met a ton of geeked out charismatics as well and they’re definitely a different breed. A lot more beta but more confident about it. Whereas these natural charismatics seem to be ‘in tune’ and flow naturally while exuding alphaness

[–]2INNASKILLZ2K1838 points39 points  (2 children) | Copy

Psychopaths?

[–]femaledoglover6[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children) | Copy

That’s another thing I thought too since he had Alot of traits but he was also too loving towards his friends and family almost to the point of being needy. But deff on the spectrum which I think most alphas in general are

[–][deleted] 63 points64 points  (7 children) | Copy

There's a lot of nuance to consider...

Firstly, you're only seeing these confident people in the environments wherein they're confident. Let's pretend (whether or not you or I actually agree) Donald Trump is exactly this. Put Donald Trump in the most gang infested hood of Compton. Is he that guy anymore? No. Extreme example, but everyone has a situation where they're not comfortable. Some people have more, some people have less, but everyone has them.

As for why some people have so few, most likely brain chemistry. Low cortisol levels. Low anxiety tendencies. Good past experiences. Positive reinforcement. Etc.

[–]femaledoglover6[S] 18 points19 points  (5 children) | Copy

I was in a few uncomfortable situations with them and they both still continued to exude confidence even though they were uncomfortable. It was like they were logically uncomfortable but felt confident about it. Is it possible for anyone to reprogram their mind to that level of confidence? Or are some people just born like that

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yes, maybe that time they seemed confident--but I assure you, just like you or I, they are human too. And this means that they are not always confident. That is inhuman.

But that's just being pedantic. I get what you mean. People who score very high on the confidence scale, is it natural or learned? I would say both. I assume you're asking because you want that, and want to know if you can achieve it yourself. But that's pretty ironic. That kind of confident person would know they could do it, believe they could do it, and achieve it. That's step one.

As an aside, though, while that mindset is helpful to achieving that confidence, the actual "academic" answer I have mulled quite a bit myself. I was born in a pretty broken household, so I was extremely introverted in my younger years. Shy, kind of weird from lack of socialization. But all along, I felt and knew within me I had immense potential, to the point where I felt no qualms telling people--while I was a nerdy autistic virgin--things like "I would only date a 9," rejecting prom dates because they weren't good enough even though I had no other options, only even thinking about the hottest girls even though I was scared to talk to them because I mentally thought that was my league and I'd one day claim it. Years later, that's become my actual life, and I'm pretty confident in most situations in a more calibrated way. But I do wonder: did I actually learn this, or was it within me all along? Because my standards for myself were always high, even though I didn't reach them when I was younger.

So, my best advice to you would be to start thinking in this manner. Set a value for yourself and settle for nothing short. Don't ask, "can I become confident?" Know that you can and focus on achieving it. The fundamental difference between a confident and unconfident person is that a confident person knows where they want to go and calibrates the best path they can to achieve it. And they don't think "Can I do this?" They think "how do I do this?"

[–]I_Dont_Type11 points12 points  (1 child) | Copy

I've noticed what you're talking about too. I think they were born like that + everything else going right in their lives. Their brains are fine tuned. These people have intense levels of focus and have massive potential for work ethic if they try. I personally believe it is the exact opposite to ADHD, which is generally caused by an underdeveloped pre-frontal cortex combined with neurotransmitter systems not functioning at 100%.

[–]femaledoglover6[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sounds exactly right. This guy had a solid 3.9 and excelled in his medical career while he was doing drugs every other day, even though he was diagnosed adhd. Felt like his brain just processed things at a higher quicker level than most other people combined with no anxiety

[–]Trposh1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Search YouTube for James Marshall - he has some good material on handling uncomfortable or high pressure situations. It can be learned or practiced by pushing outside your comfort zone, but a lot of it comes down to knowing who you are and just remaining calm even in those high pressure moments.

If you practice meditation, which I highly recommend, you’ll learn to notice when your anxiety is being triggered, which helps you introspect on why you are feeling uncomfortable in such a situation, which will help you deal with it more gracefully the next time it comes up.

[–]Ash_thearcher0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I think through extremely consistent meditation practice you or anyone could become like this. The perplexing thing is that you will realize you never needed to become anything, you already were it. Everything you want to be, you already are.

Meditation is simply practicing tapping into this flow. Check out the Tao Te Ching, and realize the book’s insights through the practice of Zen meditation. Also, doing magic mushrooms really helped me to open up and tap into this flow (for months afterward, after the trip had worn off). I know exactly how you feel. I understood all these things logically, but meditation and psychedelics helped me realize and embody these things emotionally.

[–]SleazeballG3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I feel like Trump could pull off baggy pants with cortez shoes on, with him saying "black people love me"

[–]wickedc0ntender15 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy

Had an interview with a partner at my big 4. Female as well and I could tell she was just naturally Uber confident, not in an asshole way but she would move as if tho the room was hers and feels like she was listening to every little thing I say and watching every little move i make (genuinely).

I just chalked it upto the 15+ year corporate experience but still she was the type of woman who would SEEM confident anywhere.

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy

[deleted]

[–]xxx69harambe69xxx14 points15 points  (5 children) | Copy

drugs, im certain of it

[–][deleted]  (3 children) | Copy

[deleted]

[–]xxx69harambe69xxx1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

odk what drug a guy i knew like this was on, but theres no way someone can handle themselves with 100% equinimity all the time without drugs.

the hedonic treadmill catches up to even the highest smv's

[–]Foolishoe-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Heroin does this too, it's just much harder to maintain a hold on usage.

[–]femaledoglover6[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Nah I’ve met people who rely on drugs before and they’re different, a lot less natural and more beta. Even though I did do drugs with one of the ones who was close friends with me and it made him even more intense, he definitely didn’t rely on drugs to have his lack of anxiety

[–]1MrTheFalcon5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Part of this is genetic temperament, like with dogs; some are more neurotic, others more calm assertive.

Second is life experience. A stable consistent home and strong support network is a major contributor. This person has likely already experienced lots of rejection as well. Though with stability and confidence, the negative impact may have hardly been felt at all. Also because of the confidence and attitude, success to fail ratio is much higher, so this person experiences less failure, with less or no impact.

[–]Leftalbyn4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Funny how everyone mentions drugs. Could be I agree but it's scary everyone thinks that. Honestly, I'd say it's something else. Meditative states during regular life. When I got back from a 10 day vipassana retreat I was like that. Confident, calm, on top of everything and able to be aware of my emotions even during heated arguments. Among other things. I lost that after a few months but it was similar to being on stimulants. Just clean and generally much more awesome. Highly recommended it to everyone. I'm going to do it again in few weeks. I miss being that great :)

[–]femaledoglover6[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Have you tried yoga? That’s how I felt after a good session. If I wasn’t in mma I’d def be hitting yoga classes 3x a week for this reason

[–]Casd129 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy

Two points required for you to be that guy.

  1. Have alot of social experience in different settings doing different activities.

  2. Have a high smv.

Once you have both, it's like a positive feedback loop. You start socializing and people will be nice to you because you have high smv. Once you do this enough, the positive reinforcement will cause you to be naturally confident and outgoing.

When low smv people try to be outgoing, they recieve negative feedback (people usually ignore them, shame them etc.) They think "you're not even good looking, why are you even acting like that." People will subconsciously place the low smv in a box and whenever he does something he shouldn't be doing, they shame in back.

This is why trp preaches not giving a fuck about what others think. But imo, despite not giving a fuck, it's a tough hill to climb so might as well focus on getting a high smv first

[–]femaledoglover6[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Good post but I’m not talking about building regular confidence, I’m talking about the people who have extreme core confidence that seems to come from some kind of brain defect and makes them exude confidence every second of their life

[–]Foolishoe2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

They could have brain damage or have been raised without the proper social filtering that breeds these sorts of crippling emotions. Self control can be refined through practice. They do a ton of such work in the military. It doesn't always take and some people do get higher levels of success. Just as with anything else, there are always outliers and typically every person can reach those levels if they make the proper lifestyle changes.

You would need to spend more time around them, learn all these things to answer these questions from them personally. How can we know on the other side of the internet? It's probably a unique set of dozens of factors and luck.

[–]BrodinsOats2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

I have a close friend who’s a natural like this. He’s seemingly one of those most well adjusted people I know...and he did an intense tour of combat in Afghanistan.

I always figured maybe things just don’t phase him after he dealt with bullets flying at him and learning the value of life from losing friends. He says those lost were better men and he must live life to the fullest to honor them, or else their sacrifice was for nothing.

Anyways, good question. I should ask him.

[–]femaledoglover6[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Asking him would be dope. And funny thing is that both the guys I met that were like this were military alphas who have a huge emphasis on their friends/family.

[–]BrodinsOats1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yup he’s very extroverted and connected with friends. Gets more ass than a toilet seat too, lol.

[–]Uberfeedus5 points6 points  (8 children) | Copy

Without trying to sound like a twat, I believe I am one of those people. I have had people tell me they feel extremely comfortable when I am around, or I provide a sense of calm to them.

I chalk it up to multiple factors:

Genetically I have only met 1 person ever who has more energy than me and I am just bursting at the fucking seams with it. I can wake up at 5 AM, work all day, and if there are people around me or some small amount of stimulation (music for example) I can still be bouncing with energy/laughing/joking cognitively aware.

Joining the military at age 16 helped me do a bunch of hard stupid shit when I was developing,

I have an extremely deep level of empathy (vegan for just over 7 years, never cheat meal ever creating a daily practice of compassion),

I am an everyday drummer (I drum on fucking everything everyday since I was 12) meaning I have an extremely intense sense of rhythm and drumming is a very primitive skill to have,

I have experimented with over 12 drugs having a range of experiences including: thinking I had died and gone to hell and experience how the real Hell works creating the deepest level of fear I have ever experienced thinking Satan was hunting me, and the opposite of having out of body experiences (meaning based on my own perception at the time I have experienced Worlds other than this place). Drugs help you self reflect and become aware (if you are looking for it) which is amazing for creating the sense of you knowing yourself. When you know yourself you don't question your Morales and can stick to your guns meaning you have a deep sense of grounding and your reality. This helps fend off anxiety in social situations.

Started practicing Yoga 3 years ago which, when done correctly in the sense of not just going through the poses like a physical exercise but having the deep listening experience to your body means you develop intimacy with yourself. When you are intimate with yourself you can listen better, and you practice benevolence and gentleness.

I have also done some intense meditation courses, including having one of the coolest out of body experiences I have ever had without drugs (I was sober for 3 months entirely before going out to a 10 day silent meditation course).

Life experience like this helps develop intuition, and mental stability. The meditation helps me focus. My siblings say when I am doing photography (I am a professional photographer) they say I have laser eyes like Border Collies when they are herding sheep or playing the ball racing games in competition.

Any questions or elaboration feel free to ask. Know Thyself.

[–]QuitVGsForever5 points6 points  (7 children) | Copy

I like how majority of responders can't believe such states are achievable without drugs, well done USA culture you've succeeded in convincing your citizens you need a drug for everything.

[–]amrit21chandi0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is scary isn't it. When people even use drugs for a 'proper' session of meditation. Although he has incredible will power and dedication for sure.

[–]Uberfeedus0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

This year I'm going totally sober. No coffee, weed, already been free from alcohol for over a year, no psychs etc

[–]QuitVGsForever0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This year I'm going more sober and less high than previous year. No games, no stimulants, little to no alcohol.

Good luck to you

[–]femaledoglover6[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

I’m doing that for a few months (besides caffiene). Idk how to survive socially without alcohol though

[–]Uberfeedus0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

You have to become in tune with yourself. Start up a yoga practice. Bryan Kest Power Yoga series from the 90's is the best place to start for sure. When you clear out the tension, you'll be more free to express yourself.

[–]femaledoglover6[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I think I need to do this. Did a few yoga sessions at a yoga studio a few months ago and felt this way. Wish I had the time though since I lift, train mma, work, plus cooking/cleaning. Sometimes I feel like it would be worth dropping mma to do yoga though if I could feel that way 24/7

[–]Uberfeedus1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

In the definitive work written about yoga, "The Yoga Sutras Of Patanjali" you know how many times he mentions the asanas (poses)? 1 time. Sitting pose. Yoga is about cultivating benevolence not trying to touch your head to your knees. It wants to look inside and find out where your mind dwells. Stick with your MMA and take up a meditative practice. I have done a lot of very hard physical yoga classes but almost always lean towards yin classes these days. Where you lie on the floor and hold poses for minutes because it just calms my mind better. I love the challenges of balance etc but sometimes I'd rather meditate or just breathe. Yin is still very very intense in its own right. Westerners turned yoga physical because they justy want to externalize everything and not look into their own minds.

[–]Ricardo29911 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I have this, but it wasn't natural. Some of it is but going through childhood trauma made me resilient. Through knowledge I gained the power of peace of mind and focusing on the present which made me charismatic. Leading people into war while in the military gave me the confidence and lack of self doubt. If I know I'm operating on principles and properly prepared... Why should I have doubt?

[–]alphakari1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Not particularly different from when you meet a guy who's just unreachable at his field of study.

When nature and nurture come together just right.

[–]xoxuv1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

On primary and secondary school, I had a totally natural alpha friend. He was handsome, super charismatic, fun to be around, and I learn a lot from him. Everybody crowded around, and he was the center of the jam.

He was my best friend, and I never, ever allowed any girl on which I had any interest, to even know about his existence, because I was sure that he would shade me out, and would take any girl from me.

BUT

He totally failed to cash on it. He ended being a virgin at the end of school, and I would not be surprised if he is still a virgin.

He was totally blue pilled. Once I told to him that his own parents had sex, and he answered "no, my parents don't do that". He always had the prettiest girls around, and he never fucked one.

[–]MisterRoid3 points4 points  (6 children) | Copy

High testosterone.

[–]EramSumEro[🍰] 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Might be this. I have an uncle who lives in Alaska and he works either on a boat just like that from the deadliest catch show or as a bear guard for various logging companies. As a bear guard I think this means that he protects groups of people from grizzly bears and has to kill them sometimes.

You can imagine doing this work requires great frame and it shows when he visits for the holidays. Vicelike grip for a handshake, laser focused eyes contact when speaking or listening, yet charismatic and still the "fun uncle."

[–]QuitVGsForever-1 points0 points  (4 children) | Copy

Overrated hormone.

[–]jzekyll60 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Not at all. Just need balance

[–]QuitVGsForever0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

My point is you can't reduce something as complex as what OP described to a single hormone. Proof is in facts - if that were the case, all meatheads would be enlightened monks.

Even things like libido we don't understand how they work; for a period of 2 years I've had testosterone below 240ng/dL (that's 80 y/o level) and my libido during that period was just great.

All we know is that we don't know shit

[–]femaledoglover6[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Kinda true. I have high test and have the alpha feeling that everyone talks about but I still get anxiety which feels more psychological.

[–]wtfdoiaskfor10 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Guy is full of bullshit. Testosterone alone is not enough.

I know because I inject exogenous testosterone, and my blood T levels are 3x higher than the highest natural T man walking on earth.

It doesn't change shit. You get buff, that's it.

You can only fix your anxiety by building a strong frame.

[–]Mr_Badass3 points4 points  (7 children) | Copy

They might be on mood stabilizers that allow them to be in the present and fearless. I know a buddy of mine that takes them and becomes quite confident, charismatic, and tuned to the now. When he doesn't take them he is hyperactive and can't focus.

[–]femaledoglover6[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

That makes sense since the one I was close friends with also said he was on adderall and definitely was super hyperactive. But the issue is that I knew him for 4+ years and from the very beginning he seemed insanely confident. Like looks wise he was average but all of his microexpressions communicated confidence/alphaness and that brought him up to a 7+. Was that how your friend was too on mood stabilizers? And what was he on specifically

[–]Nastynatee5 points6 points  (5 children) | Copy

Everyone's on drugs lol

[–]femaledoglover6[S] 4 points5 points  (4 children) | Copy

Lmao right I take 19 pills a day

[–]Nastynatee0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

I'm not kidding lol. And I dont mean coffee and cigarettes. Look up the percentage of people in this country on a mind altering substance. You'll be shocked.

[–]femaledoglover6[S] 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

I’m not kidding either I take 19 pills a day so I can function correctly lol

[–]watchguy450 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

What pills? Damn

[–]Nastynatee0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

😆😆😆

[–]rizzyfromthe91 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

That’s me at the gym

[–]femaledoglover6[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That’s me when I’m about to smash your mom

[–]peacemakerzzz1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

Ever notice that natural born salesmen tend to be like this? Exuding confidence, positivity, good body language and tonality. They’re present because they observe how their clients behave and react so they can further respond to those social cues to lead to the sale. It’s not so much different with women.

If there’s one thing I learned from sales it’s that your personal value (whether you had a bad childhood, you’re poor, etc) does not reflect how you project yourself to map the world around you.

[–]femaledoglover6[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

First paragraph is on point. Have you looked into jordan belfort? He’s a natural born salesman and when you see him interact with others he does exactly this.

How does personal value not project? First time I’ve heard this tbh

[–]peacemakerzzz0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I actually look up to Jordan Belfort. His book Way of The Wolf is the TRM of sales. Pretty red pilled material that I highly recommend.

Personal value: meaning if you only have 2 nickels and have never touched a million dollars, and you are selling a million dollars worth of something, what you can offer is more important than how you perceive yourself. Your client does not care if you’re poor or had a bad childhood. What matters is how you can help him quick.

So outside of sales it means that you can see that things are actually bigger than what you perceive.

[–]femaledoglover6[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

So is that why high smv is a good way to compensate for a weak frame and eventually build a strong one?

[–]peacemakerzzz0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

High smv means you have something that most people don’t, though high smv people don’t always have a strong frame. The thing Jordan mentioned in his book is that you can consciously alter your frame of mind in a given situation, but if you do it all the time you’ll just be an asshole and ingenuine, which people can smell from a mile off.

Building a strong frame is developed from tons and tons of experience through all facets of life.

[–]TheeSakred1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

No it not natural. I’m someone like this. It comes with spiritual practice and self development.

[–]TheeSakred0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

PM me if you’re curious. I’d love to explain to you how I do it, and how you can too. Reading this thread is funny that people think you need to do drugs and or have mental disorders. After all, this sub is just a bunch of beta males that get walked on by females.

[–]thr0w4w4yaway0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

PM me or better write a comment here.

[–]TheeSakred-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Your entitlement tells me you have a long ways to go.

[–]okaysrs0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

sounds like Robert California from The Office

[–]YungSedditBoy0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

ITT: People stating that you need to take drugs to achieve mental harmony.

Have y'all not heard of meditation?

[–]krimpenrik0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Sounds like me on a micro dosing day.

[–]Hubblenobbin0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I went out for 30 days in a row chatting up girls. I felt something very similar. Pulled three 7+ girls in same week, and had a fourth loudly profess her love for me at a house party. We used to call it the 30 day challenge.

Huh, maybe I should try that again...

[–]femaledoglover6[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Sounds like social momentum

[–]Hubblenobbin0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It was. It's been 7 years since I swam in circles that use that term so I don't use it readily. More specifically social macro-momentum.

[–]ice_cold_sandwich0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

They could potentially be from a family with money AND had a good childhood. They know that even if they mess up in life they will be taken care of financially, and if they don't need the help they can look forward to that future payday.

It could be drugs, like Adderall or a benzo that you just don't know they are on.

They could just be ignorant about a lot of things. I find many of the college-age girls in my town are all some type of art major. They don't think about how their major will potentially make them very little money, but they all seem to just live in the moment and with little anxiety.

[–]kyzen1420 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

They were never born like that. To have that kind of mindset you have change your perception of the world. The reason these guys have such mindsets is because at one point in their lives they stopped taking negative reactions personally for a example I remember at work once I said hi to this girl and she completely ignored me and it felt like shit because in my mind I thought it was my fault she didn't reply because of something I did or my being. I thought about this more I was like if I were a confident person that reaction would not have effected me at all I would have thought maybe she just having a bad day or maybe is overall a bitch but I would have never went inside and looked for reasons to why that happened.

[–]areq130 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I hope that works for you, but I definitively had a class-mate like this in primary school who was a natural leader. Open face, always fun and relaxed, everybody wanted to be his best friend, the prettiest girl had a crush on him, and he was friends with everybody, unlike the slightly less popular kids who looked down on the rest. His parents were rich, but other rich kids were neurotic, so that wasn't the reason.



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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