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A woman is taken from me again - suicide... how to deal with harsh reality?

Reddit View
January 4, 2020

no trolling.

i got redpilled a year ago.

there are plates and all but in my redpill reality i found a woman who was worth giving a shot.

been 6 months since we've been dating and she took her life last night. dunno why, never would have thought such a (seemingly) happy inidvidual could do that.

i would be lying if i said she was insitnificant to me (even tho i told myself to never get attached again to a woman, even if she seemed perfect). i grew quite fond of her and boom. no reason, no cause.

this shit happened to me 3 years ago. my girl died in a car accident and i survived.

i was bluepilled back then and it hurt me more than it should have. i dont want to bitch but this stupid/unrealistic thought keeps popping up. if i were to get close to somebody - this is how it ends.

i spent last 8 hours sitting by her coffin. sorry for the details but im fuckin lost.

whats the redpill way to go about losing a woman?

no need to pull punches. lay it on me.

its a human thing that we suffer like this but..

should i never ever get close to another one?

keep myself strictly a plate man?

for the sake of not getting hurt again?

no way.

do i choose the wrong kind?..

just bad luck and move on?

what would a redpill role model do?

cause im fucking tired of being lost.

thanks brothers.

Post Information
Title A woman is taken from me again - suicide... how to deal with harsh reality?
Author lolurfucked
Upvotes 211
Comments 86
Date 04 January 2020 08:34 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Original Link
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
platethe red pillclose

[–][deleted] 301 points302 points  (14 children) | Copy

  1. It’s not your fault
  2. Suffering will make you more mature so long as you don’t let it drive you to a dark place
  3. Use the pain to push you to do great things for yourself and others

[–]lolurfucked66 points67 points  (13 children) | Copy

thanks brother i hate my weak side for being desperate and not being tougher

[–][deleted] 117 points118 points  (5 children) | Copy

Yin yang bro. It’s human to have emotions. Give yourself time to mourn, but don’t abuse yourself in the process

[–]lolurfucked29 points30 points  (3 children) | Copy

appreciate it.

[–]MysticalMike199028 points29 points  (2 children) | Copy

Just remember that this women would like to see you continue to do your best, so do your best.

[–]lolurfucked14 points15 points  (1 child) | Copy

this hits hard. thats why its heartbreaking for me. i gotta live out her memory of all the people who loved me in their own way.

[–]RedKepler3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Just make sure you let yourself mourn and not at all feel bad about it. Flush that shit out your system as many times as you feel.

You'll know when you've come out the other side.

[–]l1ght-2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

“Give yourself time to mourn, but don’t abuse yourself in the process” - love it

[–]1ForeverNandrolone1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

People aren’t tough automatically. They are tough because they experience hardship. Unfortunately some things you just have to be experienced to learn from them. I’m sorry this is happening to you.

[–]DorkuzMalorkuz1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

It's weak to grow attached to other humans beings and be sad when they disappear? Do you want to be a psychopath? What kind of nonsense is this? Understanding biological reality doesn't mean retreating from society.

[–]Batso_920 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly what I was thinking.

It got me thinking "Woah is the redpill about being a sociopath? Do they advocate such behaviors like 'don't be weak' 'don't have any emotions'?" And just when I thought I was starting to understand what this sub is about, then people keep asking such questions and I'm like 'huh?'

OP, Don't be an idiot. Be a human being.

Why do you seek approval of strangers on such a subreddit about how you should feel to be seen as "strong" / "alpha"?

Why should you care if you're being "weak" by having emotions? Why should you care about what others are thinking about you?

Specially in case of death, mourning. I really don't understand.

Death is hard. Everyone mourns differently, I guess. But in your case, it seems to have gone to an extreme level that's dangerous to your mental health if you're asking such question on a social media. Seek professional help.

[–]isthisalreadyused0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It’s okay to have emotions man, being RP does not mean being a robot.

Sorry for your loss bro, I feel for you

[–]W_O_M_B_A_T0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

thanks brother i hate my weak side for being desperate and not being tougher

The grief is real, m8. No need to deny it or be ashamed of it.

[–]HurricaneHugues199 points200 points  (2 children) | Copy

Stay off this sub for a few months. Speak to a professional about the matter. You do not want to come here for the support you're looking for. The red pill degenerates and blue pillers here are severely underequipped to help you.

[–]thisisnotme__--76 points77 points  (0 children) | Copy


Red Pill is about mating strategy, not grief counseling. OP needs to talk to a psychologist or psychiatrist and find a grief support group.

[–]Batso_921 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Well said!

I got a feeling that he didn't let himself mourn after the accident and then went into an unhealthy coping mechanism that made him addict to this kind of subreddits. Now it's gonna hit even harder.

So yeah I'd say no reddit (preferably social medias) until he gets better. And seek professional help.

[–]creating_my_life127 points128 points  (3 children) | Copy

never would have thought such a (seemingly) happy inidvidual could do that.

Lots of people who are happy on the outside aren't on the inside.

my girl died in a car accident and i survived.

I'm sorry that she died. That's a horrible thing.

should i never ever get close to another one?

'Tis better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. Think deeply about that, it's not just a cliche.

just bad luck and move on?

Most likely, yes.

no reason, no cause.

There was a reason. You just didn't know it.

no need to pull punches. lay it on me.

We're all born alone, we all die alone. Ultimately, life is suffering and we can only do our best. Look inside, be the best man you can be--whatever that means to you. Love the women you've lost, move on, and then love again.

Red Pill simply means not losing yourself while you love a woman. And the million little details that entails. It's okay to be lost. It's okay to hurt. It's not okay to ruin your life over it.

If you can't move forward, please consider seeking professional help.

[–]lolurfucked44 points45 points  (0 children) | Copy

this is the logic in me talking with ur mouth. you just made me bounce back and im grateful

[–]Napoleon-Bonrpart37 points38 points  (1 child) | Copy

You honestly have had one of the most mature responses to a redpill question I’ve seen yet. I’m not a redpiller myself, but I do think there’s value in some of your guys beliefs. You showed me there is some mature individuals in this group as well. Thanks.

[–]Krebota11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

Many people here don't answer questions in a mature way because more than half of them are repetitive dumb questions. That doesn't mean we don't know respect

[–]1jacques_cousteau00744 points45 points  (1 child) | Copy

Look up Keanu Reeves biography

This shit is tough to go through Im sure, but at the end of the day, you’re the only one responsible for how you will approach the rest of your life.

Don’t succumb to survivors guilt

there are millions of people worldwide that have never bounced back from a traumatic event

But the people that turn it into something good (as difficult as that sounds right now) create extraordinary lives for themselves and those around them

Honor them. Live a great life.

[–]sniper19054 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Great comment friend.

[–]Fromstatepharm24 points25 points  (1 child) | Copy

No advice. But sorry for the both losses. Legitimately sad.

[–]lolurfucked11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

thanks for that brother, god bless u

[–]dzkkne34 points35 points  (0 children) | Copy

Man, very few will be able to understand your pain here. This is not about RP or BP.. this is a human situation where anyone would be emotional and in need of answers. You should reconcile your feelings and try and understand what and why you feel. Don’t suppress your feelings, you need to come to terms and it has to come to you naturally.

For now forget about acting RP or BP, just try and understand what is going on in your head. Going through this process will make you a lot stronger mentally and you will need that in the future

[–]Was-Erlauben-Strunz4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Hey man sorry for your loss. From what've been reading you seem eager to get past it, my advice would just be don't be hasty and let it sink in, loosing someone you've been close with takes time accept it. Don't be afraid to be sad it is in no way a weakness, cry if you must.

Don't hold any guilt, when its showing its face respond with peace, and remember those people would not want you to be miserable about them but hold a dear memory from them.

Mourning should be about remembering the good stuff you lived with them as much as possible so you'll keep that as a souvenir and in a way they keep on living in your memory.

[–]intl_plyrs_clb3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

You're human and part of the experience is feeling pain and suffering.

Let it flow through you, allow yourself to feel however you need to feel, just don't let the feelings take over long term.

Attachment happens and it makes loss hard. Go through the motions of grieving, don't let survivors guilt get to you.

Best of luck.

[–]ducaati1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This. Don’t identify too much with your emotions. Let them pass, as they will.

[–]sicoks7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is not a RP or BP thing, what you’re facing will cause even the greatest of men great suffering, my only advice would be to face the pain, don’t drink it away because it’ll only come back and bite you in the ass at some point; and then ... whenever you’re ready; be it few weeks or few years; get back in there champ

[–]rockyp322 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

The bad side of TRP I think the complete shyness pf ur emotions ur supposed to feel that shit at a certain level just not a crazy amount. U found some good ones happened just keep pushin and you’ll still find others

[–]BrodinsOats2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Bro these are horrific tragic losses. What you’re feeling is normal. Don’t be hard on yourself for it. Yes we must strive to stoically accept the fact of death but it’s a hard fucking task, and that’s ok if it takes a hell of a lot of work. Let yourself grieve but also make sure you keep moving.

Seek out therapy/counseling imo.

[–]jenovajunkie2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Therapy, they are the best to deal with survivors guilt.

We as men get hurt all the time, it's as if life is supposed to be suffering.

There is no correct way to deal with this, just go through whatever avenue helps you. I highly recommend therapy as a starting point and I hope you get what you need.

[–]SpearOfOrion2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

There's nothing wrong with feeling sad, it means you're human. It wasn't your fault, shit happens bro. It's ok to be sad, stay strong mate

[–]cluelessguitarist2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Mourn and let time do its thing man, its part of life. Hang out with family and friends

[–]lolurfucked0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

im hanging out with a bottle of jack tonight. tomorrow is work, gym and more work. i cannot not stay busy in the near future, it will drive me insane, been there, done that, its a lonely, dark place.

[–]PhaedrusHunt2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

My sister committed suicide almost 20 years ago and I still get fucked up about it, especially around her birthday.

Ain't no shame in it brother.

when people die we wonder where they go what happens to them where did their soul go what will happen to us when we go?

It's okay there are egg heads that think they know the answer but really it's just a giant fucking mystery and it's confusing to every single person in the entire world if they think.

I'm really sorry you lost your girl back then and I'm really sorry you lost this one too man it's a tough road to hoe and that's just that

[–]qwertyuiop1112221 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

i hate my weak side for being desperate and not being tougher

Dude, you're in pain. Your mind is going to fuck with you. Don't listen to it. Instead, feel free to post here, saying "Hey, this is what I am thinking right now. Is that a reasonable thought, or is my mind fucking with me?" I promise people here will care, and someone will write to you to give you some clarity.

Also, you're not born weak, or born tough. But rather, how you handle what life throws at you determines what you are made of. You don't have to be a strong man, whatever that means. You just have to be strong for today. That's it. Tomorrow, rinse and repeat for one more day. Then one year later, you can decide if you have become that strong man or not.

All that said, for today, find a dark corner in your house, and allow yourself to weep and suffer. Feel the pain. Write a letter that you wish she could read today.

Finally, do 10 push-ups every hour that you are awake. Having a strong mind can sometimes start with having a strong body.

I'm sorry for your loss. You are in hell, but I promise, you'll come out of it.

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy


[–]HeresToTheNext200 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yes, do give this book a shot!

[–]TRP VanguardWhisper1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

even tho i told myself to never get attached again to a woman, even if she seemed perfect

I never taught you that. I only taught you to save your love and protectiveness for someone who proved her worth.

To love is to expose oneself to loss... but, since time takes everything from us in the end, the only way to never lose is to never have.

You had. You lost. Grieve. Then find something new and live.

[–]streaxy1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

“ A gem can never be polished without friction, nor a man be perfected without trials" - Seneca

I’m so sorry for your loss. I hope you find meaning in your suffering, and eventually overcome it.

[–]mr4kino0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That's tough. Especially the suicide one as you probably feel it might be your fault indirectly. Don't blame yourself if you treated her good. If she showed her happy side what more could you have done? Not that much to be honest.

From the comment you are not a religious guy so try to keep your head up. It's normal to have those feelings, RP or whatever pill. It's a "human" pill. Even more, if you said you didn't feel a thing I would be extremely worried about your mental health. So it's all normal. Be patient, time heal most of the things. Also it's a random behaviour, those are movies scenario you are talking about. Don't worry you are not a "death note". Finally if your don't feel like you are improving seek professional help.

[–]Mr_Badass0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You didn't cause, you can't control it, and you can't change it. Syay strong brother!

[–]MagickalOne0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Live through the emotions, let it out in a positive way. Dont become cold and cut off from others. In the end, with all this red pill stuff, women are only human just as men are. Dont be so harsh on either gender. It's okay for a man to feel and express emotions.

[–]power_cleaner0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

One of my biggest fears is driving and dying in a car accident. It’s probably one of the worst if not the worst ways to go.

[–]bearclaw50 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

As a person who has experienced much grief, feel it fully. Don't deny it. It isn't fun I know. You will come out stronger.

As to what you should do about it in the future, I have no idea. Right now though, if I were in your shoes I would feel it fully, try to cope without denial or avoidance. I'm sorry for your loss.

[–]RedPillAlphaBigCock0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

NOTHING WRONG with crying and feeling the loss. Keep going as you are now - ITS BETTER TO LOVE AND LOSS THAN TO NEVER LOVE AT ALL - Keep falling in love my brother, your heart only gets stronger after it breaks

[–]mickey__0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

So sorry mate

[–]Harambe4400 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

you're human, not a robot. let yourself be sad for a bit but make sure to get up again and not let it define you.

[–]Rivu990 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You’re gonna feel a plethora of emotions, and it’s important you accept them. Anger is a big one: you should feel comfortable expressing it for feeling abandoned. Suppressing grief has itself manifest in inconvenient times

[–]MasterZigmo0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

There’s no shame in feeling grief. You’ve endured a monumental loss on more than one occasion. I wish I could more, I just feel for you my man. Be strong. Message me if you need to talk to someone without judgement.

[–]qiis0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Just give it time bro. Losses always suck, and honestly, there’s nothing you can do to make it better, apart from wait for time to tick away. That being said , you should try your best not to entertain the negative thoughts and continue being a man and Perusing whatever you’re doing. It sucks, but time will cure it.

[–]IvyExcess0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

yo man. very sorry for your loss. look up the top asktrp posts of all time and look at the post about the guy whose girlfriend was diagnosed with cancer and given short time to live and how he handled it. i hope this helps.

[–]2INNASKILLZ2K180 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Mate, it is NOT your fault. There is no curse over you, or anything like that.

Unfortunately it is life. You have to seperate the events from you. Grieve, feel awful, but don't think you have to never get close to anyone again.

You're personalizing a very real fact of the world. People pass away, many self inflicted.

Personalizing it and thinking 'this is what happens when I get close' will mess up your head down the track

[–]Iluvalmonds830 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I’m very sorry for your loss. Like many others said, it’s perfectly human to feel and work through these feelings; you’ll get through the mourning and it certainly does not make you “weak” to feel the way you do about another human being.

You hear several stories all the time about people losing close loved ones to suicide having never suspected they were suicidal. Some people are very good about hiding their pain and putting on a mask. It’s not your fault.

[–]ducaati0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You might be redpill, but you’re still human. I believe everyone has a range of emotion. Some can be stone-ice-cold. Others can do well emulating this, but it doesn’t come naturally, it isn’t their default mode. Feelings are, for some, inevitable. We still deal with them in our stoic, redpill way, as it sounds you are making an attempt to do. Don’t blame yourself, time heals all wounds. Drive on, brother, one day at a time.

[–]amphix3390 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Sometimes life doesn't make sense. Like a blip in a matrix. Everyone goes through a fair few in their lifetime.

You'll deal with it like you deal with anything else and move on. Find new things to get involved in and don't carry the negative effects of this tragedy affect other places of your life.

You will grow.

[–]Zombiespire0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I don't know how to deal with losing a person you care about. The only thing I know you should do, is lose yourself in the pain that comes with losing them. Because that is the evidence you cared about them at all. I know for sure some bastard here will tell you to "next" that person like they meant nothing at all, but a true human being will never be capable of doing that.

I am sorry bro. There is no way to ease yourself through painful loss. Do not come to asktrp to validate how you should grieve. Just grieve my friend, this is a genuinely painful time for you. And this is a time for you as a human, to go through it naturally. I am sorry, but there is no one that can make this easier for you, just go through it. Go through one of the most painful experiences of life.

[–]MeansToABenz0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I’m sorry for your loss boss.

[–]swaghole690 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Sorry for your losses. Stay strong mate

[–]HumbleTrees0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Firstly it sounds to me like you need a grief counselor to support you currently. Please seek one out as a first step.

I am so sorry that you have experienced both loses like this. That is a date few men endure but statistically their will be outliers and for no reason at all, you are that outlier. It's just the way the penny falls.

Read Meditations by Marcus Aurelius. You'll find some peace in stoicism if you aren't already familiar with it.

Please remember that suicide was her choice. She has whatever issues she had and saw that as the release she needed. It was her will.

Just take some time off from trp, dating, and just process this shit.

Godspeed brother.

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

One thing to bear in mind is that anything from a quarter to three quarters of suicides are impulsive. Mick Jagger had a girlfriend who offed herself. You just never know what's going on in another person's mind.

[–]-ThePathIsTheGoal-0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The only 2 bits of advice I can lend would be 2 facts:

1.) The unfortunate things that happened were in no way linked to you, who you are, or your worth. Don’t be afraid of getting close to someone after these events. They were not your fault.

2.) It’s completely natural to build an emotional connection to someone after 6 months. It’s normal to care, want to be around, or even feel love for them if you guys were close. Don’t let the try hard rednpillers who pretend feelings aren’t real or that “real men” don’t have feelings” cloud your perception.

Stay strong brother. I can tell by your post that you’re an intelligent guy that’s gets it. Sending good vibes your way.

[–]_Ulan_0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I find it very significant that you speak out about it already. Many men would sink it inside and that often causes a severe depression.

People are the maestro of their own orchestra. If they think it's time to finish, or if they don't think the rest of the song will be worth it, they will stop the music. It's no one else's choice but theirs.

The lesson you are getting however, is a great lesson of humility and reality. It's easy to say that life can take you in all places, it's harder to get there intact.

Process your emotions, express them. No need to be overly dramatic, weak or strong.

[–]Dirkz0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Fuck the red pill right now man. I get that you're probably just looking for help, looking for an answer, but there isn't one. Its okay to feel low and shitty about the situation, that's life and you can't truly appreciate the good without the bad. This will serve as your reference point for years to come.

Take whatever lesson you can from this and grow, that's all you can do. Real life experience like that is going to be far more valuable than any mental masturbation that's going to be thrown at you from the red pill.

I am sorry that you're experiencing this, it will get better, life will go on. Best of luck on your journey, stay strong.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I think we’re all here because we lose women one way or another and have to come to terms with it just being a part of life. Obviously, we talk about getting dumped or a plate breaking. Mine broke last night and it was upsetting, but I came to my senses after a rough night of sleep that this is just the way it is. I think we all get attached to our favorite plates a little and thats okay as long as you are always taking care of yourself first.

Your situation and history obviously goes beyond that. This isn’t your fault. Really sorry that happened. I’d agree with finding someone to talk about it.

[–]QuagOnGin0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I’ve had an entire life filled with traumatic event after traumatic event (according to others looking in from the outside, honestly I thought it was normal for everyone) and all I did was chin up and push through subconsciously.

As more and more bad shit happened I was able to look back, understand, and learn about myself from each one. It is all you can do. Use your pain and suffering, which are undeniable human qualities, to turn yourself into the Apex Predator. Adopt the: “If I have already been through so much, there is nothing that can stop me.” Attitude and run with it.

[–]DeadInTheFace0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

You were never redpill, but now you see your biggest weakness. Slap some primer on that gape and keep it moving. Never get too attached.

[–]lolurfucked0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

ok tough guy. just repeat every other guys reply. real smart. hahahahahah

[–]Infernir0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Your past love isn't dead. She's apart of you eternally now, forever. She's engraved in you and losing her will either make you stronger or turn to the dark side living in self pity, depression, regret, guilt, humility, shame, exile, and pessimism.

I know TRP likes to be hard on guys who catch one-itis but its a completely normal human thing.

Don't be afraid to say it, you fell in love with a girl hard who was unlike any other you met and now she's dead, no matter what you do even if you become the greatest man on earth she will never be yours.

Also... there's always a reason for suicide. The majority of the time its just a RP reason that is either too dark, complicated, or socially unacceptable for BP society to acknowledge or address.

We don't live in a perfect world but an imperfect one, where the most evil men can get all the money, women and live glorious happy lives while the most righteous kind hearted man can stay in poverty & have less than 3 partners his whole life (all failed relationships that divorce raped him) simply because the evil man worked harder.

[–]Casd120 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You people speak as if living isn't suffering.

You ask how to deal with the harsh reality of life, well the woman you liked dealt with it by abandoning it. Others fight on. It takes more courage to live than to kill yourself.

Since we're all going to die, it's obvious that when and how don't matter.

Reality isn't harsh. It's indifferent. It's not out to get you nor is it out to reward you. We as people like to attach meaning to everything. How can you attach meaning to something meaningless. Look up stoicism and/or read some Albert Camus

[–]hoopingblob-1 points0 points  (6 children) | Copy

A man should rejoice in adversity. Just like a soldier triumphs in a winning war.

[–]lolurfucked0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

whats the point?

[–]hoopingblob1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

That you shouldn't beat yourself over a challenge life gave you. Life will always put stones in your life and many people become distressed which makes them sick.

Don't be like them. It's tragic what happened but it should push you forward.

[–]lolurfucked0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

kinda hard to look at my shit that way right now but it seems logical. thank u

[–]xxx69harambe69xxx-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy

no it isnt, youre seeking answers from a public online forum, what do you expect, take yourself to a therapist if you want professional help

[–]lolurfucked1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

even tho i dont fuckin know u it still feels like brotherhood. thanks so much

[–]Muhammad__Abdullah0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Not everyone needs that, men work things out and push forward

[–]SonofRedpill-4 points-3 points  (1 child) | Copy

If your religious pray for her. Either way put your head up and learn from it don’t allow her to be a onetis. Allow her to be a friend your grieving over is all.

[–]lolurfucked3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

not religious buddy. thanks tho. yeah no oneitis. trying to stay rational

[–]jzekyll6-4 points-3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You now have a way of eliciting sympathy from future plates.

[–]Nergaal-3 points-2 points  (0 children) | Copy

1) grief is absolutely normal, wether BP or RP. sonly true sociopaths might not need to grief

2) something is wrong with your frame if you attracted somebody who is this unstable and you did not smell anything about it. weird that it managed to affect you this much but at the same time you did not see it coming. if you allow yourself to get attached this much, you should be better at vetting red flags. suicidal is a pretty big red flag which you should be better at reading out. it usually comes with many other red flags. if you ignore them, you risk getting exactly into the situation you are now.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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