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How to actually care about a mission

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skeptixon
January 15, 2020
75 upvotes
askTRP

Men should get a mission and care about it like nothing matters but it.

How the fuck do I do that?

I gym I dance I work I study

I'm a high achiever, i make ok money, I'm fit, and I do lots of things outside my comfort zone

Do I give a shit about any of those? Not really they're motions I have to go through

What's constantly on my mind? My fucking onetitis

I dont show her and I game other women

However everything is so forced. It's like I have to game other women, I have to gym, I have to work I have to study

All the while I see people here and around me talk about their passions like its everything that matters

So without tearing me a new butthole, how do you guys actually have a passion behind your actions?


Post Information
Title How to actually care about a mission
Author skeptixon
Upvotes 75
Comments 49
Date 15 January 2020 09:21 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/310610
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/ep8nxl/how_to_actually_care_about_a_mission/
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Comments

[–]Jessor6955 points56 points  (12 children) | Copy

found that gym/study/work aren't 'missions' but more just mandatory aspects you should be doing regardless. If you're not having fun with what you're already doing then push yourself to go harder in them.

You gotta find a hobby you enjoy and passionate about. Maybe you like motocross or building cars or surfing. Start throwing shit at a wall and see what sticks

[–]skeptixon[S] 12 points13 points  (11 children) | Copy

Well true

I tried and nothing sticks simply because there so much else always going on that I'm never 'submerged'into an activity

Like dance is something I tried

Playing sports

The only thing that stuck is video games and I'm trying to cut that one out ironically

[–]Jessor6911 points12 points  (5 children) | Copy

Video games are fun but are time consumers and have zero value add.

I don't know what you mean when you say there is so much going on? Is there too many things to concentrate on that makes you not able to submerge?

So you have tried dancing and playing sports, is that it?

[–]skeptixon[S] 3 points4 points  (4 children) | Copy

Yes exactly. Due to uni courses, working and other things I just dint have the time to give things my 100%

Like the other people in these activities are so devoted. They can spend hours doing rugby or dance related things I just cant/dont want to

Therefore I'm not submerged and by time dont feel like I fit in and just wing it if you understand me

[–]pilot3330 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Due to uni courses, working and other things I just dint have the time to give things my 100%

Well if you're giving that your 100%, then there's your mission.

[–]black-cattle0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Only about 20% of men are the real top producers.

[–]pilot3330 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Okay. Did you mean to reply to another comment?

[–]black-cattle0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Just top commenting

[–]lilstxn2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

You should stream, people always say video games are unproductive but so many people are making a full living off of video games.

[–]skeptixon[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Hahahahah doubt that

I'm not that good in the game and I'm not really a 'youtuber' more of a serious STEM student who likes to have fun

[–]DntPnicIGotThis0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Video Games are good only as a means to pass time.

I play only when after getting home from the gym when I'm in recovery mode and a little too sore to do much, for example.

[–]AllocNeighley0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Consider

Everyone can, but everyone got interrupted 1

Don't be interrupted, put away time to do what you are doing. You don't have to check that message, that video, that dead cat in the kitchen.

All will be well, and the world will keep spinning even if you disappear for an hour, a day, a week (some call it monk mode, depending on the time frame).

*A minute now, is the same as a minute later. *

And there was a post on the main subreddit about "Why are you so selfish?" Some professor told him to just do the work.

Also, a guy named Jocko has made a career of promoting Get after it, Grind and Discipline.

As always, take what works and understand it in your own words.

ps. If you are in college/university have a look at How to read a book, by Mortimer Adler.

1 Read it somewhere, from an apparently smart dude, my words not his.

[–]skeptixon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I like this comment but I dont really understand all the references; what post are you talking about, where is the quote

Would you mind letting me know the post you're talking about?

[–]espionagent16 points17 points  (3 children) | Copy

Upvoted

I think it comes down to picking a career goal that is scary big

[–]boywonder2005 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

I agree. I disagree with other people in this thread that say work is just one of those things you have to get done. You should pick a career that you are passionate about, that challenges you, and that makes you happy. But you also have to be realistic about income. As OP has said himself, he is passionate about playing video games, but it is highly unlikely he could turn that into something profitable by streaming.

Healthcare isn't for everyone, but I feel that it is one of the most challenging, rewarding, and simultaneous well-paying jobs you can pursue. Your mission is literally to save lives and improve the health of your fellow man. Another good one is lawyers. Sadly, not everyone has what it takes to become a doctor or lawyer. And not every passion can be turned into a profit with the set of skills each person has. I wish more Redpill dudes went into education - that is a true mission: facilitating the education of generations below you, preparing them for the world. Computer science is a great one too. I have several friends who work for big companies but also have grouped up with other friends to create apps on the side. Very lucrative and challenging. While desk jobs can be comfy and well-payed, I see tons of people on here saying how they have desk jobs but have yet to find a purpose. They almost become drones. Its sad, but thats what a large potion of the job market is filled with.

OP, you're in uni and have a job simultaneously? I'm assuming its just a side job, or is it an internship in your field of study? If its just a side job, well yeh, its not going to be very fulfilling. If its an internship, its not too late to switch classes and find a new career path.

[–]skeptixon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'm majoring in engineering and I can say it's a perfect field for me and should be fulfilling once I work

The side job is just tutoring, mainly for the money

It's all this 'good in paper' things that I'm good at but dont care about

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Mining geology or engineering. Takes you all over the world to solve complex problems. Keeps you on your feet and pays well too. Pure adventure. Reach goal is getting to Mars after I've visited all 7 continents.

[–]Chadster1136 points7 points  (6 children) | Copy

You don’t like to lift?

Sometimes it’s just about exploring things until you find something you like and doing that whenever you have time and then eventually you’ll be doing it a lot

[–]skeptixon[S] 10 points11 points  (5 children) | Copy

It makes me feel good

It makes me look good

But it's a constant battle for me to show up and be consistent

A constant battle to go the extra rep and not just call it a day

It's something I have to do, in essence

[–]Jessor694 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

Think you got a validation/reward issue

You go to gym yet you're not being rewarded for it. You go to uni but have not been rewarded for doing so. You go to work but aren't being validated for it.

You don't enjoy them cos someone isnt validating you for doing them so you're looking somewhere else for it.

[–]skeptixon[S] 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Hmmmm honestly you're probably right

I've lifted most of my life so the whole 'it's a game changer' is no longer there

I've been a high achiever my whole life so.... true

I definetly chase the high of validation and definetly put lots of ego on my onetits to the point where I do not contact her out of fear of rejection although I shoot shots everywhere else ( plus she's batshit crazy so it's just ache all around with her; good riddance)

So maybe yes I am chasing validation

Also I use to be a high functioning addict to weed but I stopped and I do note about myself that I have an addictive personality

So its the lack of validation

What do?

[–]Jessor693 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's a mindset shift

Whenever you have the urge to tell someone what you're doing or what you have done, don't do it unless they ask.

You gotta be the judge of your own actions, you go to uni because you chose to and that's what needs to be done. You go to the gym because that's the standard you set yourself.

Once it starts to sink in that you are doing x because it is what you want and not what oneitis wanted, validation wil mean nothing from other people.

If you haven't read it yet, read no more Mr nice guy from Robert glover.

[–]SoulRedemption0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Negligence and non-action are two key reasons why you not only stagnate, but degrade your life and health.

If the world tells you Vitamin D is bad, and no one eats three times a day, but you find out taking Vit D and eating 3 times a day has actually helped you alot. But it sucks that restaurants are only open in the morning and night, no one really cooks lunch, but you gotta do it. Even when you have other plans for lunch time which people invite you to. I know what I am saying is blown out of water, but it is what it is.

Sounds like you are focusing on the end results and see the journey as a botheration, not a neccessity challenge. Like someone else mentioned, have a bigger goal, mission and a vision for your own life. Once locked in, you know wherr you heading. Dont worry, missiond and visions may change over time.

[–]rockyp32-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Have you tried no fap? Wheb u masturbate constantly like most men do it makes ur prolactin spike like crazy which makes you lazy and not want to do anything. When u remove that you’ll be motivated to workout automatically

[–]Cyntack5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

If you’re still in uni, find a way to leave a legacy at your school. Take a leadership position on a club or start a new one. Get to know your professors and pursue research.

You are the only one limiting your opportunities. Keep trying. When it doesn’t pan out the way you hoped, try again.

[–]failingtheturingtest4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy

TL;DR Don't expect to get it right straight away. But don't stop working on the process and don't stop looking for a purpose.

There's a few things going on here. You're comparing things that give you short-term rewards with the concept of something that should be a long-term process. As such, you're expecting short-term dopamine boosts and when not getting them, pushing the whole thing aside. You're also looking at things that are the short-term process and expecting them to have a long-term meaning.

An example. To learn to sail is not a mission. It is learning a skill that could be part of a mission. To skipper your own boat around the world with the ability to live where you want when you want is a mission. Learning to sail is just one of the steps to get there, and a very small part at that. On top of that you will need finances, you'll need to find and manage crews, you'll need to navigate, etc.

Gym is like brushing your teeth. Just do it, don't expect it to make you happy, but not doing it should be gross. Dancing is nice at the time, helps gain skills, looks attractive, but it could only ever be a PART of a mission, not a mission on it's own.

You're also expecting a mission to feel like a mission right from the start. This is rarely the case. Just find things you enjoy doing, or that might get you to a place where you can enjoy doing them. Keep doing those things and over time try to calibrate where your skills and enjoyment are directing you.

My broad mission:I don't yet have a "this thing above all else" mission beyond becoming someone that I am proud of. Being the best at what I do, being exceptional at everything else that matters to me, and being able to afford to pass everything else off to other people. Learning as much as I can to pass off to my eventual offspring. Build a family the best way I can. And one day look back at what I've wrought into this world and be happy at my achievement.

This means there are many short-term to mid-term actions I can and do take that help me get there, and hopefully another passion will appear along the way.

  • I gym, I sing, I play music,
  • I keep making cocktails (because I enjoy it) and I feed myself well because I enjoy it AND it's good for me,
  • I do things for my friends when I can because I'm happy when I do and it's a positive thing socially,
  • I do things with my friends because I enjoy their company and enjoy the activities we do,
  • I game women. I keep vetting and one day something more will come. In the meantime, I enjoy their company until I don't enjoy them anymore,
  • I allow my oneitis to get into my memories at times, but I do my best to ensure she gets a momentary cameo. A reminder of some traits I enjoy the most in women, as well as some red flags that I chose to ignore that I probably shouldn't have, I fuck this part up a lot but I recognise it and keep moving forward,
  • I work my fucking arse off! I have tried a dozen careers, and it took me into my 30s to find 'the one' that I am truly happy in. I have worked to be in a position where I can forge my own path a little, while still having the security of a small corporation behind me. My work ethic that I've built over a dozen careers, and my ability to pick up new things, has allowed me to get a massive running start at this career when I realised it was where I wanted to be. I failed many, many times so I could learn how to get it right,

The moral of this wall of fucking text is, you won't get it right now. But what you can do is keep working hard, on you and your process, so that when an opportunity arrives you are in the best possible place to take advantage of it. In the meantime, keep yourself happy, healthy and on the lookout.

[–]skeptixon[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks for this!

Yes this does make sense

I guess patience and confidence itll par out is key

[–]xxx69harambe69xxx0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

wat career?

[–]failingtheturingtest0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Not relevant to this discussion. It's a very broad role in a very niche market.

[–]Domebeers2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy

None of these things qualifies as a mission. What is your mission in life? What do you want to achieve? What legacy do you want to live? WHAT WOULD MAKE YOUR ANCESTORS PROUD?

Example mission: I want to make my firm so successful I can bequeath my prodigy a 'money machine' and have them be able to not work. (so found a firm, make it successful, and have children)

[–]skeptixon[S] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Sure so many examples of missions as career, helping others and all

What about relatable current missions?

Like being realistic, a practical mission for a university student.

Sure I can dream about being bigger than life, but I still have to wake up everyday and go to uni

It's not me depressing or belittling your idea it's me being practical

You said an example that will take 10+ years, sure you can say 'start now' which I already kind of am but I want something that motivates me and a goal 10 years away isnt a fire under my ass

[–]Domebeers-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy

Bro, that's what a mission is, something that you work your life towards. At least to me.

"I want to pass this class with an A" isn't a mission, it is a goal. But that said, make 'achieving your short term goals" your 'mission' if you can't think over the horizon. Also: DO NOT MAKE WOMEN YOUR MISSION.

I'm not gonna push religion on you, but here I go: your actual mission should be to have lots of sons and raise them to be good men. Doesn't need to be more complicated than that.

[–]skeptixon[S] 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

100% one of my goals is to have kids and teach them the ropes of life and be a good dad and be there for them ( mainly due to the lack of thereof from my father)

One of the main reasons I found TRP is because I understood to raise good kids I need a functioning family, and for that I need a good woman, and for that I need to know the difference. Therefore i experiment with my life and with women alot

This is a definite thing. However it's so far fetched, and in my opinion a 'given'when it's time is due. Therefore it's not a reason to wake up in the morning

It's not depression, its lack of a passion

A mixture of overconfidence and I guess lack of achviement on a front I am unsure of.

Am i clear, or is there something i need to highlight to deliver my point accurately?

[–]xxx69harambe69xxx1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

it seems like your on the brink of self actualization, you just dont know how.

usually, the best way to achieve self actualization is through monetary gains and providing for a family

you should do that if you cant figure out some other way

[–]HB32341 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The most fulfilling missions are things which leave a legacy, something behind you. It sounds like you are missing the feeling which you get from being a part of something greater than yourself. People who get deep joy out of sports are those that feel that connectedness from being part of a team or league. People who just feel sports are fun, do not get that.

So, the same things will not work for everyone. Ask yourself, what would make me feel like I improved the world, or made a difference, or connected me to something I value? The answer to those questions will be your path to a mission you care about.

[–]letmereadthatshit1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think everybody likes to travel or take their family to vacation or just freedom. Working jobs ain't gonna do that. Build your business , become so successful that you don't have to work another day in your life or just work whenever you feel like it. So in the future you can take your kids to school and pick them up not worrying about being late to work. So you can be there for your kids instead of having a boss telling you that you can t take a day off today. Taking your family to vacations and giving them experiences that they never thought possible. That's my mission. I don't give a single fuck about females right now , because I'm focused on my mission and it feels great.Having sex is easy , building a successful business is not. Whats the use of picking up girls or chasing them if you are broke

[–]2INNASKILLZ2K181 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ITR9uFnCqLE

Watch this guys shit. Seriously. Go to his videos, sort by 'most popular'. You'll soon see which videos link to which by watching one or two.

Read Woujo's latest 'Purpose' series on the main sub.

You have no journey pleasure, or purpose routines. You're emotional order is fucked up and non existent, because you are just 'going through the motions'.

You don't have a vision, calling or purpose. Those things help you work out daily/weekly/monthly routines which put your best strengths in action, and eventually leads to your mission being a possible reality.

Without understanding this shit, and ordering your life and having 'journey pleasure', humans then look for basic, boring routine pleasures. Shit that is just to fill in time, because you don't have the pleasure of a journey towards the future.

Seriously, read and watch the stuff I mentioned here.

[–][deleted]  (3 children) | Copy

[deleted]

[–]skeptixon[S] 3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

Because I'm a dumb faggot? I'm a sheep following others? I cant think for myself?

LOL because STEM is interesting and I'm in the best program in my country and Iove what I'm learning to the extend that I can love anything academic not because it's my mission. I could be in arts and I'll still feel the same way.

Oh and I'm sorry I didn't decide to major in my mission when I was 18, should've had my life planned out

Gimme a sec getting my time machine that only STEM students can operate!

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy

[deleted]

[–]skeptixon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I dream about success and being able to do what I what whenever I want with no restraints

I dream of having a nice functional family looking up to me

I dream of being known as an experienced man who has tried everything

I dream about having a harem of women but choosing one and having a family

I dream about career excellence coupled with experience excellence

After writing this out it looks lots of external validation dreams; but it is what I dream about

[–]tilleuno0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If you've heard the term "internal game" on here, that's where things really have the most impact on the external world.

There's no rhyme or reason to what exactly will help you build this. But it comes from experiences, namely ones you handle without losing your cool. Ones you perverse through to a positive outcome. Learning to care less about things that don't matter, and gaining control of your emotions so they don't control you.

Meditation, putting aggression into a sport, the gym, pussy, or all 3. Stop focusing on others and what they have that you don't. When you disconnect from all your external circumstances and find silence, get away from your life even with some travel.. you'll find your voice and strength inside naturally come. You'll learn to be at peace with everything and then things just flow more.

Take what you will of it, like I say there is no rhyme or reason to what will get you there.

[–]Vynxe-Vainglory0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Don’t work. Always play: But play with things that actually can produce impactful results. Keep trying new things until you find something that gives you an obvious goal or vision.

You’ll know you’re onto it when it’s the first thing you think of when you wake up, and the last thing before bed.

If that thing you think about in those times is actually beneficial to your future, you’re on your way.

Take that thing and make an incredible, legendary goal out of it.

[–]Practical-Animal0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

What makes you so happy to be alive? I make music and when I play my songs back to myself it makes me so happy that I made that. I also take my lunch basketball games too seriously and I look forward to the next game, go out to the court to practice some of my go to post moves, etc... Also love lifting.

[–]nothing0790 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

How the hell doesn't want to be fit?

[–]inkoDe-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Consider those things like brushing your teeth. They just are what you have to do. Also (buyer beware) i am not TRP in a lotnof aspects. I think its beautiful to love one person and be infatuated for a time. The real matter is developing the emotional maturity to deal with the end. If you arent dating someone crazy a split should hurt but be "easy". You can't really grow without leanring to form deep attachments. As far as passions, take what i call Nietzsche's razor: if you are capable of anything how do you choose a passion? If you look back through your life chances it already found you.

[–]dadfrombrad-2 points-1 points  (2 children) | Copy

Sounds like you have pathetic dopamine levels. Do you by any chance have ADD?

Drink energy drinks and go on the computer

[–]skeptixon[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Thanks doctor! I'll get a dopamine implant

/s

[–]dadfrombrad0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Ritalin is a thing and actually very safe



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