I orbited this one girl for years, probably from age 8 to 24 or so. All the usual awful shit. Around grad school, I realized that my higher earning potential had opened up the door to top-notch 19-22 year olds and started banging a 19-year-old college freshman (to my feminist friends' horror.)

This one girl I orbited none the less kept in touch over the years, even though I'd dropped off the map WRT to her. She used to love to go invisible on Gchat and text me whenever she got bored, creating 'demand' for me to be in contact with her, which she would ignore. Whenever I got tired of this after a while and would stop texting her on gchat for a few weeks/months, she'd get this started again.

Eventually, during the first 19 year old girl time, I just put this girl on gchat ignore for like 2-3 years. She later emailed me to "reconnect", but I'm sure it was just to make her boyfriend (now fiance) jealous. So we met up 2-3x before I moved out of town.

The 19-year old girl ended and I am now with a second girl that just turned 22 (I'm 30), and this woman I orbited from age 8 is now 30 as well. Her butt has fallen and her thighs are thicker. She's not fat; she just looks 30 and not 22.

Anyway, about a couple months ago the girl I orbited for years emailed me to tell me she has late stage breast cancer and yadda yadda yadda...and I kept meaning to reply, but I wanted to write a more serious and meaningful email than "Sorry...you have my support, etc" but I kept putting it off because I was always hanging out with/banging this 22-year-old in my time out of the office. Eventually--after about 5 weeks--I did write a one sentence email to the cancer girl but when she emailed me back, I spent last night doing all kinds of freaky shit with a 22-year-old girl. I guess, I should email her back, but I keep thinking, "Thanks TRP for getting me out of the matrix...I truly don'f GAF about this girl I would have jumped in front of a train for, ages 8-23.