This is a sequel to my previous post from over a year ago. It's also meant to share my growth with the hope that someone can find inspiration to change.

So, as cool as it would be to say that my life was been absolutely amazing and I have super close friends, an active sex life, tons of money, no stress, perfect health, etc. I have to say, sadly, that's far from the case right now. I'm still single, having zero sex, I got medical bills from two different hospitalizations, and now I'm looking into therapy for my social/family problems. Of course, this isn't meant to be a downer of a post, but it goes to show that growth is ongoing.

But, it's also super easy to dwell on what you haven't done, what you currently aren't, or what you might become. I want to focus on what I have done. And that's learn.

In my last post, I was just starting to embrace feminism and recently, I realized something that might help those trying to improve themselves. Have you tried to leave Red Pill ideas behind but found it really hard to not just come back? Well, I have. A lot of the time, I would say to myself that I would leave only to find myself back. It was with that last post that I finally able to start moving on from Red Pill nonsense. So what was different?

I understood the true nature of "The Red Pill". Over the last year I've read so many stories from men and boys about how they escaped "The Red Pill" and they are largely the same; The poster suffered emotional pain, usually from a break up, and they "fall" into the miserable pit that is "The Red Pill" and it's various groups that offshoot from this concept. It's actually very interesting how that seems to be the progression, both for former and current redpillers. Anyways, the story usually follows with the person "waking up" because they were exposed to leftist ideas through Youtube, they now see the light, and all is well.

The main problem I've started to see with these stories is that they almost always frame "The Red Pill" as this underground community of hateful, sexist men while the rest of the world is not at all like that, except, that's completely wrong. In actually listening to a lot of "The Red Pill" talking points, you start to notice how common these ideas are.

  • The idea of "female nature" and "male nature" (gender essensialism)
  • The idea of deviating from these "natures" putting people lower on the hierarchy
  • The idea of this hierarchy being "natural"

A common talking point, to get into specific examples, is how single mothers "ruin" their sons and by extension, society at large. It's common for people to believe that women are unable to raise boys up into men and it's an idea that's also repeated often in red pill communities. In fact, a lot of ideas from "The Red Pill" are ideas I've heard from family members, it was a point I made in my first post here. As quoted;

I'm 26 years old at this point, and I've been involved in "red pilled" ideas since I was a teen as well as some harmful ideas from family.

I was introduced to most of these toxic ideas long before I ever heard of "The Red Pill" or any of the communities based on it. So this is where feminism comes in; when I finally understood the concept of patriarchy and took a long look at what the "The Red Pill" is, I realized that I was already born into a system that "The Red Pill" pushes for.

The Red Pill is actually The Patriarchy rebranded and marketed to those who "failed" to conform to it.

This is why it's so hard to escape! Men who are unable or unwilling to conform are marginalized, when they suffer, "The Red Pill" comes in to claim that they are suffering because feminist ideas are actually mainstream and are anti-male. It can actually be hard to discern if someone is just a conservative or a redpiller if they are talking about women when you think about it like that.

The dehumanized view of women, the disdain for gender non-conforming folks, the homophobia and transphobia, the discouragement of people to get professional help, sometimes just outright racism, when you try to leave, the mainstream culture says and does the exact same things so in a way, "The Red Pill" and the patriarchy reinforce each other.

In my mind, to truly leave "The Red Pill" you must fully understand what the patriarchy is. They are the same and because of that, to reject "The Red Pill" is an inherently feminist action. Feminism supports everyone because the patriarchy harms everyone.

So, now that I've said all of that, how do you reject the patriarchy and "The Red Pill"? It's not my place to tell you a laid out plan, because everyone is different. But I can tell you what has helped me a lot.

  • Writing

This is a big one. I love to write on my computer or iPad when I'm angry or sad, it's a creative exercise that let's me get my emotions out and be introspective. What started as just bordering on incoherent ranting and rambling turned into looking at how I feel about something from different angles without having strangers online comment on it. I used to rant on forums and imageboards before this, and it always just left me even more angry because of the comments I would get. I feel as if I have a better understanding of my emotions as they come to me. If I get an attitude with someone I can quickly figure I really mad at this person or if it's something else.

  • Listening

I spent a lot of last year just learning about other people, their experiences, their struggles. Our system doesn't value the experience of marginalized voices, so I sought them out. It's basically an inverse of my writing, instead of me doing the talking, I just listen and learn. I would often just lurk subreddits without commenting or anything. I've found it's super easy to claim that you don't understand others but people are willing to tell their stories, all I have to do is just listen to them without my ego in the way. Plus, when you listen, others will listen to you, if they are also trying to understand people different from them.

I would also consider reading feminist literature to be listening to folks long gone.

  • Breaking the norms

I generally mean in terms of gender roles and expectations. I've been doing this since I was a kid though. The biggest norm I've broken yet is admitting that I should seek out professional help for my life problems. Another big one is rejecting pornography from my life as well.

Overall, I'm happy with my life now. I truly mean it when I say intersectional feminism is the key to overcoming "The Red Pill". When I see how supportive feminist spaces can be to all people and how much higher my sense of self-worth is now, I know I made the right choice. If you are serious about leaving, don't allow people who know jackshit about feminism to sway you. Don't allow centrists try to convince you that "both sides" are somehow bad. Feminism create activists for the people meanwhile patriarchy/red pill shit creates violent, oppressive bigots.

I know I came off strong towards the end, but it's how I really feel. Burn the patriarchy.