For the ones who had a porn addiction: How long did it take to rewire your brain and finally enjoy sex?

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January 17, 2020
127 upvotes

Pretty much the title but some backstory first:

-Discovered that it felt good to rub and squeeze my penis when i was like 10

-Discovered porn when i was 13

-jacked off like eight times every day for nearly 10 and a half years (im 21 now)

-had no success with women until i discovered the gym, got a job in sales and discovered TRP (when i was 20)

I had some ONS with different girls and im currently in a sort of relationship with a girl (19 HB6) for the sole purpose to practice sex but i never enjoyed it. I never came no matter how hot the girl was and this lack of fun for me also leads me to become bored quickly so the quality of sex also decreases for her which is bad if you actually want to keep some girls around. Lately i have also discovered that if im sober my dick wont get that hard or hard at all as if I were drunk and i probably never got a proper erection until the one time i tested viagra.

My brain is being completely wired to porn to get off so i only chased sex when i was really drunk or getting approached while clubbing but tbh sometimes I did it for the validation that I still got it and to tell some fun storys for my friends. I cut porn completely off of my life this year but couldnt keep my shit together and jacked off two times thinking about the porn i would have watched around the two week mark (((:

Im also getting subconsciously triggered EVERYTIME i see some boobs or cleavage online which is insane but i have no intention of going back, sooo...

How long did it take for you to get rid of this shit? And do you have some additional tips how you have beaten beating your dick all the time?

Thank you all in advance.

My current course of action is:

-No more porn

-Getting busy when i feel the urge (thats why im writing this post currently)

-Got a doctors appointment to see if there is also some physical damage

-Hitting the gym even harder and focus on my studies

-Try to improve while still having regular sex

-Decrease my time on social media


Post Information
Title For the ones who had a porn addiction: How long did it take to rewire your brain and finally enjoy sex?
Author LeonidasGER
Upvotes 127
Comments 69
Date 17 January 2020 02:41 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/311887
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/eq17jf/for_the_ones_who_had_a_porn_addiction_how_long/
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Comments

[–]DigitalDragonSlayer106 points107 points  (9 children) | Copy

Progress can be noticed 30, 60, and 90 days out, 6, 12, 24 months out based on what I’ve read gauging other men’s experience.

I’m in a similar boat—trying to kick porn completely.

[–]bruiser189 points10 points  (5 children) | Copy

Are you talking about masturbating as well or just porn?

[–]Ill_mumble_that22 points23 points  (4 children) | Copy

When you no longer need porn to masturbate. You're ready.

Give up the porn and never use it again.

[–]EdvardMunch4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

Hell if you do it enough you might just get tired of it. It bores me unless its got a good dynamic

[–]LordTutanKhamon1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Yeah I think you’re in more trouble than you think

[–]EdvardMunch0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Maybe, but when youre inexperienced to womens bodies that alone gets you off as does the typical big breasted bombshell type.

The body works when its uncommon and the excitement is getting to see it sure. But if you have sex 4 times a week with different girls its not even a thing.

Chemistry is the only thing that remains, the build up to overturning the dynamic and releasing the tension.

[–]bruiser180 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Got ya

[–]Turkerthelurker9 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy

I'd say a noticable change in drive/ambition at 7 days.

At 2 weeks I feel like my nuts are gonna pop off.

[–]LaGardie6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Happened first few times I reached 20 days. After that the balls learned to deal with it.

[–]RPOpenUp0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Mine did blow off. Luckily they regrow if you have high T

[–]boywonder20063 points64 points  (14 children) | Copy

If you really want a hard reset in a relatively short amount of time, cut down on dopamine hits from any form of screen. I remember going on vacation after masturbating every day or every other day. Didn't bring a laptop and was hardly on my phone the whole time. Came back home after a week and a half and I remember sex with my GF just being amazing. Rock hard dick without any help from PDE5i's.

You gotta keep in mind that your reward system is all controlled by a single part of the brain - The nucleus accumbens. So any form of dopamine dysregulation will affect other areas in life. That is why a person addicted to dopaminergic drugs feels little happiness at all in other areas of life - this drug is taking up all of the dopamine in their system. In similar ways, most people have strengthened pathways related to compute/phone use, and these pathways dominate the majority of their dopamine release. So other pathways using dopamine, say running to the top of a hill to watch the sunrise, give them less pleasure.

[–]bruiser184 points5 points  (4 children) | Copy

Did you masturbate without porn during that time?

[–]boywonder20011 points12 points  (3 children) | Copy

No, I did not masturbate on vacation.

Based on your other questions in this thread, I see what you are trying to get at - is it still okay to masturbate without porn?

That depends on whether or not you use death grip. I have suffered from porn brain AND death grip. So while doing noporn will help, death grip is still holding me back.

I have a really busy schedule where I need to get shit done for 10 hours a day every day. If I am getting distracted by horniness, I will go wank one out. The productivity I retain by doing it outweighs the possible "relapse". Plus, there have been guys doing nofap that remove all sexual stimulation and masturbation from their life altogether, and they end up with a non-existent libido. There is a happy medium.

Edit: Also, if I REALLY need to get a wank out quick to get back to work, I'll pull up images of naked chicks. Not a video, just images of scantily clad or naked women. Technically its a relapse, but its better than watching fucked up porn.

[–]RivenHalf1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Death Grip?

[–]Cheeseydick696939 points40 points  (10 children) | Copy

Only read the title. I'm assuming you know all about no fap

2 weeks to get some feeling back in my dick. About 1.5 months to really appreciate a woman's touch and enjoy sex 3 months after and I forgot I even had the problem.

I got pussy while addicted to porn and it never felt the way it does now. Quit porn. Don't get caught up in the mindset of if you touch your dick your nofap streak is ruined. It's a lot of stress that will mess with your head and slow you down.

Just don't watch porn cut back on social media and take a deep breath. No need to track streaks or worry about any of that shit.

[–]LeonidasGER[S] 5 points6 points  (4 children) | Copy

Yea i also visit the NoFap sub here and its been quite helpful. Thank you for your comment!

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

tbh I wouldn't surf nofap too often. The general idea of not touching yourself is great, but a bunch of people encouraging each other? Not my type of beer, but you do you

[–]Cheeseydick69695 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

This.

[–]Diche_Bach23 points24 points  (4 children) | Copy

Wow. I did not realize it could get that bad, but I guess if the excessive exposure to porn is too early in life, yeah it makes sense.

It sounds like you are doing a lot of wise stuff. The only thing I would also suggest is: try to use exposure to non-porn female signals (imagery and sound) and achieve aroused but not erotically aroused engagement.

I'm a very old guy, though I do stay fit for my age. I read TRP and askTRP because the whole phenomenon of a post-Feminist world gone so crazy that males need this kind of 'support' and guidance is still pretty amazing to me. It makes sense from an analytical standpoint, but I still find it amazing at how much incredibly social and biological change has taken place these last 20 years or so (and indeed, I think a lot of it has been in the last 10 or 15 years).

For me, hailing as I do from a youth and young adult hood in the 1950s and 1960s, what is today regarded as "red pill" is to me simply "normal guy stuff." Now granted, I do see a good bit of plain old stupid misogyny and dick-waving that gets passed off as "red pill," but that is to be expected. I think there is a sound "return to ethical masculinism" to found in that red pill, if in fact one is in need of taking it, which I am not and never will be. I am from the era before red pills were necessary, a bit like the character in the Matrix who shows Neo he was born in Zion free from all of the plugs and cables of having been born in the Matrix.

As an example of the sort of 'achieve aroused but not erotically aroused engagement,' I'm talking about . . . yesterday I was in the grocer. Now as I said, I'm unusually fit for my age, and I also do not dress like a boomer. I don't dress like anyone but myself in fact. So people tend to notice me. I make eye contact and return whatever they deserve: respect, reassurance, attraction, vacuous stare, glare, whatever. I was in the produce section and happened to notice this young lady employees ass and was probably gazing at it with a grin when she caught me doing it and started to grin back at me, and we made eye contact and I winked at her and she was flattered and went on her way smiling. I didn't leer at her, I didn't get a boner and cream in my shorts, I wasn't scheming how to get laid, I just noticed an attractive young lady and there was a brief exchange of looks. Totally normal and commonplace for a normal healthy male even in advanced old age. IMO, that is the goal for which one should strive.

Nothing inherently wrong with porn. But even too much of a okay thing can be harmful and especially when we are talking about a young mind/body.

[–]TRP Vanguardnicethingyoucanthave5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

What was it like dating girls that weren't already alpha widows?

[–]Diche_Bach5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Fucking glorious. Pre-feminism was a totally different world. I honestly feel sorry for guys that will never get to know that world.

[–]Gawernator1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I'm curious how you found both reddit, and this subreddit, it is pretty rare for anyone of your age (70's+?) to be active on social media platforms.

[–]Diche_Bach2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You might be surprised how many of us geriatrics there are among you! I was a professor for most of my life so spent a lot of time around spry young students ;)

[–]bloody_condoms15 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy

If only more guys like you asked for advice with already a plan for success in mind, everyone on this sub would be so much more inclined to help.

You’re plan is solid and your goals are high. Stick to it religiously.

Best advice: Eyes on the prize, hands off your thighs

[–]Lightways43429 points30 points  (0 children) | Copy

So much of your story resonates with me. I discovered sex through porn at a very young age and it negatively affected me for the rest of my life. I finally realized I had a porn addiction at age 20. It took 2 years to finally rewire, however, I’m still fully aware that my brain is attuned to the rush of dopamine awarded from porn or any sexually suggestive content so I tread carefully. To your point about being triggered even when you don’t want to watch, is your brains response to the years of conditioning from that artificial stimulus. It’ll take a while before you’re brain is back to something approximating normal.

[–]RevolutionaryPea76 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Same story as you except didn't bother with women until about 25. Discovered that a real woman couldn't get me hard at all. Only porn worked.

I did a full 90 days of nofap and then it still took several fucks to be able to cum inside my girlfriend at the time. After that I still had problems getting hard and cumming with new women. Went through about 20 women. Couldn't get hard for 5 of them, couldn't cum with another 5.

After several years of reconditioning my to sex instead of porn I can cum almost every time. But my brain still desperately wants to fuck a different woman every day. Unfortunately that isn't going to happen.

It gets better. Stop watching porn completely.

[–]Velebit6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy

8 times a day? That is fucked up. However settling for a nonhorndog girl you feel is passable (6) is the source of the issue, it will not change with removing porn. If you can wank off 8 times a day with good erection, the problem is not with physical stuff but with comfort, mental comfort with women being physically there and sex being in private with another person and not yourself.

I found my performance is trash when I am not genuinely finding the girl hot af but merely okay.

[–]LeonidasGER[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Yeah another big part of the problem is that I can actually masturbate WITHOUT an erection. In fact it is nearly impossible for me to ejaculate while being hard thanks to years of conditioning. It sounds ridiculous but there are a few guys who have the same issue like me you can actually google it. I never needed an erection when I felt the urge for porn. I just used some kind of light friction and heavy pressure on some certain spot of my limp dick with two to three fingers and the job was done in one minute. Not kidding here!

[–]Velebit1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

That is bizzare wtf

[–]Startlivingfornow7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Solely jerk off to my girlfriend and the pornos that we make when I can’t bang her.

Haven’t seen a porno in maybe a year now.

Best choice.

[–]smeckledeckle6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Hey man, I’ve got a very similar backstory to what you described and I know how debilitating it is after having jacked off to porn for so long from such a young age. After a couple years of back and forth trying to solve my issue, I was able to fix my relationship with sex and porn.

Here’s what helped me the most:

1) cutting out porn, but not necessarily masturbation. If you feel the need to jack off, do so but don’t watch porn. Instead use lube, go slow and try to feel your body and tune into arousal without porn. Re-familiarize yourself with the feeling of jacking off and orgasming without porn. This will be tough at first but with some patience it is achievable.

2) having a girl that you can fuck regularly and also has the same sexual interests/kinks as you. I’m not sure about you, but for me and many other men that have struggled with porn addiction, its common to progressively watch more and more extreme porn. Anal porn was your thing? Find a girl who loves getting fucked in the ass. Bondage your thing? Find a girl that you can dominate, slap, tie up or whatever. I was lucky enough to find a chick who had very good sexual chemistry with me and over time I totally forgot about porn because I had the real thing instead.

[–]FrenCan3165 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

Honestly, if you don't care about that chick (you said she's just for practice) you should leave her and go monk mode for 2-3 months. That'll get you sorted. It's fucking hard but focus on GOOD dopamine hits like positive irl social interactions, hitting the gym and eating healthy delicious food. Avoid bad dopamine hits like junk good, cheat days, instagram or dating apps. I say dating apps because they give you easy validation when you get a match, the same way getting likes on instagram does.

Check out NoFap. Though it's overrun by teenagers and 99% of the posts are "I'm at X days" circle jerks look for the good and informative content. And use RP motivational content. Lastly , you'll be amazed at the results if you get sorted. If you pull off 60 or 90 days in monk mode and focus on self improvement, you'll come out the other side like a wolf

[–]nadirehsdrawdettocs0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

“pull off 60 or 90 days”

There’s gotta be a better way to word that.

[–]saheebs3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Disclaimer: This is what worked for me hope it helpsFor me I just did so much research and read so many tabs of information regarding porn, listened to my 'heroes' and try to copy paste into my mind what they see porn as, like Jordan Peterson and Joe Rogan etc etc., and I sorta just gained so much information that I slowly shifted the balance in what I believe.

After the belief was reinforced x100000 and strong enough that "porn = bad" I now don't have the need to open up any of it.

Tony Robbins pretty much says if you can come up with enough reasons not to do something, your mind and body start to carry out different actions subconsciously, because that's technically how you 'rewire' your brain by thinking different things.Jordan Peterson says porn pretty much allows you to bypass the need to become an attractive male in real life and bypass all the natural emotional processes and bypass the building of natural confidence and get tens of thousands of girls with no effort.

I could keep going but the point is it won't sink in unless you research and internalise like 100 reasons why porn is bad. Now every time I think about porn I think of the millions of pages I've read about porn and its now just an automatic defense system. Sure I might open it up sometimes, but even during watching it my mind is like 'yeah but there's reasons not to watch it and reasons to do other things instead of let it drain your time and energy that will make you tired'. After a 5 to 7 minutes it is now habitual that I end up closing it.

TLDR: Come up with so many reasons that are so serious that you simply can't ignore them when you end up coming close to opening up porn that it becomes an automatic kneejerk reaction to close it.

Hope this helps!

[–]thrwy754796 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

About one and a half years.

[–]bestsparkyalive2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

It’s a tough and rewarding journey.

[–]TominatorXX2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Listen to Dan Savage's sex advice podcast Savage Love. He has an episode or two where he talks about this problem and how to fix it. You have to stop wanking and have sex without coming and eventually you'll retrain your dick. If you have sex and can't cum, don't finish with your hand.

[–]OfficerWade2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

It’s one of those things you have to stop cold turkey. The grass is greener

[–]frognads3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

As long as it took to fuck a girl who turned me on

[–]Anussauce1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

8 times? Jeez. Not judging. However, my meat is raw after 2; no matter the recharge time.

[–]Ill_mumble_that5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Foreskin is amazing. I used to jerk off 12-16 times a day. I'm blessed that my parents didn't cut me up like many savage male-baby-mutilators do.

I don't have an addiction to it anymore. That was a long time ago.

[–]fannyfire1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Have you ever read the book NMMNG. There’s a good section about pornography in it.

[–]Gawernator1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Never had it nearly as bad as you and it never really affected me in a physical way I think, just like how some people have different tolerances for "addictions"... but after a few months you definitely feel a sort of reset

[–]VigilantSmartbomb0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

like 2 sexs

lol and my stories worse than this

[–]erehc0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Build your SMV and try your best to stop looking at porn. I didnt jack off at the rate you did, but over time I got more attention from girls and jacking off just got in the way so I naturally just replaced my jacking off habit with girls.

Building your SMV will also give you purpose and keep you a bit busier. I COULDN'T jack off in the morning anymore when I started lifting every morning because it would either cause me to get a terrible lift in or make me late to work. I DIDN'T jack off after working out because I was too busy organizing my shit and making breakfast before work. I WOULDN'T jack off after work because I was out of the house, working on my hobbies, chilling with my roommate, on a date, or out exploring the town solo.

Maybe I'd miss the gym one day and relapse or give myself a "cheat" day on Sunday if I really wanted to, but it go easier to not spiral out of control when I got busy.

[–]Rispy_Girl0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Had this happen in the past. I did a no orgasm month. As in not even from sex, then I stayed away from porn. I've gone back to looking at porn since then, but not at the quantities I used to. I also have sex regularly now which may be helping.

[–][deleted]  (2 children) | Copy

[deleted]

[–]1Terminal-Psychosis4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Oh god, don't do this.

What dude needs is a damn hobby. Something worthwhile in his life.

Not heavy psychotropic drugs or /nofap bullshit.

[–]PumConqueror0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Man, shut the fuck up with this harmful advice.



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