714,030 posts

Need genuine examples for frame and how to hold boundries....

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January 20, 2020
15 upvotes

200 lbs, 315 max bench, 365 max squat, 365 max dead, 8.8% body fat, financially secure, constantly reading sidebar, read most of the books.....

Reading my previous posts will add context....

Improvements: Better at STFUing and not DEERing, better at handling sex refusal, keeping more busy with myself as we just moved in our new home I built, better at holding my frame most of the time

Many struggles but the following is what I seek advice for:

Wife still mostly sleeps with our sins, 6 and 8. Just this morning she slipped into our bed and our 6 year old shortly followed. I have been very clear on my position with this. I struggle a lot with this as I read that I am not to show my hurt but how to balance this with letting her know this is not acceptable?
I am confused guys. A lot of the sidebar states to rise above, be the man whom she wants to follow, be strong, don't be butt hurt.
I plainly and calmly have told her this is not acceptable...yet nothing changes.

I know I should not pit sex on a pedestal, and I feel good about my progress on not showing her my butt hurt, but when we do have sex at my initiating....she ALWAYS whines. Some examples:

I tell her to get on her knees as stare into my eyes while she licks my cock. She whines or comes up with an excuse, blah blah.

She rushes through foreplay ALWAYS and cums quickly.....no journey.

I instruct her to pleasure herself while I watch, and she ALWAYS has an excuse.


Post Information
Title Need genuine examples for frame and how to hold boundries....
Author 1kdawg1
Upvotes 15
Comments 41
Date 20 January 2020 01:12 PM UTC (10 months ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/312193
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/erd0yw/need_genuine_examples_for_frame_and_how_to_hold/
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Red Pill terms found in post:
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Comments

[–]AwkwardlyWebbedRalph13 points14 points  (1 child) | Copy

You read most of the books but still don’t know how to establish boundaries?

You’re unattractive.

That’s likely why she doesn’t want to do literally anything you say. She knows she doesn’t have to care because your value isn’t high enough to attract literally any other woman’s attention, so she can keep covertly telling you to pound sand without losing her provider.

She can read you like a book. She knows you are desperate for her submission but you aren’t worthy enough to obtain it. She subconsciously knows you exist within her frame.

If I were you, I’d stop giving a shit about what your wife will or won’t do for you, and start living life on YOUR terms. Become attractive, fun, and carefree. Say what you want, even if it offends her, and then laugh about it unapologetically and be on your way. Care about cool and rewarding shit that isn’t your wife.

This is generally known as “dread”, but you should know this because you’re well versed in the sidebar.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

This seems right to me. I really needed this advice thank you.

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando21 points22 points  (11 children) | Copy

Every couple of months you pop into this sub asking questions about frame, boundaries and asking people for advice and insight on where you might be gong wrong and what you might be missing.

Where exactly has that gotten you?

Nowhere.

What exactly have you learned from it?

Nothing.

So why do you keep repeating the same mistake over and over again even though the results are the same?

Coz you are a lazy fucktard.

Go to OYS tomorrow, start posting some real truths about yourself or fuck off - if you genuinely want to put in the real work and gain real insights, that is how you do it, otherwise you're wasting everyone's time.

[–]HornsOfApathyMod / Red Beret14 points15 points  (10 children) | Copy

Go to OYS tomorrow, start posting some real truths about yourself or fuck off

OP is salvageable only if he does this. He is negotiating desire and LARPing Alpha like every other man that doesn't want to do the work and take his ego bruises.

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando3 points4 points  (9 children) | Copy

This retarded, fat fuck wanted 'hot wife' his missus out because he's too stupid and lazy to learn how to fuck her properly himself.

He can't find his own dick, let alone do OYS.

[–]HornsOfApathyMod / Red Beret2 points3 points  (8 children) | Copy

'hot wife' his missus out

He can't find his own dick,

Too busy finding other dick instead of his own.

let alone do OYS.

Let's see if he does OYS tomorrow. u/1kdawg1 I suggest you do.

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando4 points5 points  (7 children) | Copy

Well, he's been busy today. Busy deleting half his post history.. all the stuff he posted about cucking his wife out plus a photo taken a few months back when he was clearly a fat cunt with around 30% body fat.

Just ban the fucker already.

[–]HornsOfApathyMod / Red Beret[M] 7 points8 points  (6 children) | Copy

Wish granted.

[–]Over60_FireTempered3Red Beret9 points10 points  (4 children) | Copy

The "ban the fucker fairy" grants another wish. It's Magic!

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret5 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy

I’m an administrator or a RP page on FB, and we keep it ver small (under 100 men). I’ve only had to ban one guy in the last year, and it was because he took a hardline stance about how it was “creepy” that a 40 yr old member was dating a 20 yr old. Point is... the larger the group is, the more bannable offenses... probably more than half the AMRP posts should get banned, but I guess you have to give them a chance to take their lumps and start doing the work. I’d say OP used up his chances

[–]Over60_FireTempered3Red Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

"OP used up his chances" Agree.

[–]Over60_FireTempered3Red Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

You and I remember when MRP was under 3000. I miss the original group back then. The sub now gets really messy compared to back then. Probably like refereeing triple tag team MMA.

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah the message was more clear. It’s hard to keep up with the droves who read a couple posts and now think they’re alpha and red pill lol

[–]WolfofAllStreetz0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This.Is.Sparta

[–]RedPillGlasses13 points14 points  (1 child) | Copy

Cheat on her.

Proudly tell her about it.

She will either become your slut, or divorce you.

Both are good, you’re welcome.

[–]IWantToHelpSometimes2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

The best advice on this post.

[–]UnbreakableFrame7 points8 points  (10 children) | Copy

Your physical stats don't add up. 8% at 200lbs is enormous, but your squat and deadlift are low. I would hazard a guess that you don't actually have any idea what your body fat is.

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

Your physical stats don't add up. 8% at 200lbs is enormous, but your squat and deadlift are low.

This jumped out at me too. Of course, OP omitted his height, which is very relevant. The more information these guys give about stats, usually it becomes more obvious they are BS’ing either us or their self... or both. An eye opener for me the other day is I was looking up Barry Bond’s weight after he juiced up, and he was only 228.. I think 6’2ish. I would have guessed like 250-260, but he was probably very low BF... so for OP to be 200 lbs at 8%, his numbers would have to be a lot higher... but if he adds in height, the picture would become very clear

[–]hack3geRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

It’s entirely possible he could be 8% at 200 especially since 8% is likely 12-15%.

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

8% has a high probability of being 20%

[–]Cam_Winston210 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

An eye opener for me the other day is I was looking up Barry Bond’s weight after he juiced up, and he was only 228.. I think 6’2ish. I would have guessed like 250-260, but he was probably very low BF.

As a rookie he was listed at 185. So, totally plausible that he gained ~40 lbs. He used to be downright thin.

The Rock is supposedly 6'5" and around 260, and he is another level of juiced up mass. Bonds weighing 260 would be even more mind boggling.

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The rock is stacking for sure. Be probably has a good dr helping him so he doesn’t have a heart attack at 55 (not that he still won’t)

[–]1kdawg1[S] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Stats are accurate. Rebuilding squat from low bar to high bar. Just started deads after long break due to back issues. I understand your skepticism, but these are accurate.

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy

Low hanging fruit. What about addressing the real issues instead of cherry picking?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

He literally addressed all 3 points of skepticism, what do you mean?

[–]arm_candy1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

He only addressed the skepticism about his lifts, which is the low hanging fruit. He hasn’t responded to anything else here.

[–]HeckleandChide0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Even if he was hypertrophy only, his maxes would be much closer to 500 for dead/squat. He’s lying about both BF and lifts is the most likely answer.

[–]stoicstephen2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Your wife doesn't have respect for you and doesn't follow your lead because she feels (therefore knows) that you are still a needy boy looking for validation and control.

What do you do besides lifting?

In what Level of Dread are you?

For the looks of it your are still on level 1, and that's not bad because it's easy to go up on the ladder at least to level 5.

What's hard though is becoming your own mental point of origin.

You are still doing this for her and not for you. How do I know?

Because you need her actions or lack of them to validate yourself and your self-improvement.

Your mission is your wife, that's the problem here.

Get a REAL mission.

[–]SepeanRed Beret4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

First, dread. Does random women you talk to respond to you with IOIs? In party settings with alcohol, do they make strong passes on you like crotch grabs? If not, your frame and game isn't where it should be.

And when she doesn't follow instructions, insist and lead her, teach her, start slow, baby steps. If she still refuses, put on your pants and leave the bedroom.

[–]RedPillGlasses2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Levels of dread is best advice.

Him being physically good looking (assuming it’s accurate) isn’t doing enough. She still knows that she is his sole provider of sex.

Systematically move up the levels of dread until she breaks and submits

[–]weakandsensitive6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

do you need us to fuck your wife too?

[–]Over60_FireTempered3Red Beret2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Today's whine and cheese...

Will be served with a side of self pity, and an empty bucket of self respect, and covered with an ego protecting weak sauce.

Would you like fries with that?

[–]NeoTheJuanDJ0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

As long as the fries are covered in a lot of salt, so he can grind them into his wounds when Chad comes in to make her his slut and give her his gravy.

Obviously not in OYS though, that would require losing the ego protection and (looking at his stats and post history) honesty.

[–]Big_Daddy_PDX1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You don’t sound like the kind of man a woman wants to do those things for. So clearly, it’s silly for you to keep asking her to do those things since she clearly doesn’t think of you as a person that she desires.

If you don’t want the kids in the room, tell her and the kids. When the kids come in, turn them around and take them back into their rooms.

[–]markpf731 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

So is your question about why you suck at holding frame with 1) your wife or 2) your kids?

You failed as a father and husband 5-7 years ago when your kids were 1-2 years old. Sleep boundaries are best set by the father. It’s a short term two week investment of crap nights of sleep but returns are paid out nightly for the next 16-17 years until they’re off to college.

You can add this to a long list of things you’ve sucked at doing in life and your wife has mentally kept score.

Do an OYS post on everything you’ve failed at since the day you said “I do”.

You know you suck and your wife’s behavior is a product and response made by you. Consider it a daily reminder that you still ain’t shit.

[–]NeoTheJuanDJ1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Holy fuck. Are you retarded?

Tell her “these are the sleeping arrangements for the house. The kids sleep in their beds.” Again, requires frame.

Tell her “an important thing to me in my marriage, and what I want and will have regardless is passionate, amazing, frequent sex.” Again, requires frame.

When these things don’t happen, withdraw your time, attention, affection, and commitment. Again requires frame.

See a trend here?

Continue raising your value, and increasing your options. No covert contracts.

Tell her these things without explaining. Say it like it is common sense. The sky is blue, the grass is green, a marriage I’m involved in involves incredible sex when I want, my kids sleep on their beds and I don’t have grown kids in the bed.

But you probably won’t. And your post history shows. No frame. No direction. No vision. You built the house. Congrats. - Not only are you paying for it, you put in more work to build it. You’re the beta bux and the plow horse in one easy-to-use Lost Boy.

Your crew doesn’t follow you. They’re partying in the bow, while you are on deck, drunk, staring at the wheel as it spins according to wherever the winds take you.

Get on OYS. Fix your squat/deadlift/bench ratio. Also, 200# at 8% BF is insane if you’re anything under 6’1. Unless that is a lie to protect and feed your ego too.

Eat the plate of shit. Drop the ego. Be honest. Otherwise, you’ll always be the guy who posts every couple months to mention the results of his lack of progress. And you will be just as bad-off as a guy who is still plugged-in because both of you haven’t done shit to move in the right direction. You read the books? Cool. Do the work. It’s your life and no one cares. Up to you.

[–]SoggyTrainCucked by machines0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You sound angry and boring.

[–]hoopingblob0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

you could listen to u/RedPillGlasses or you could fucking stand up for yourself and tell your wife

"WOMAN!! Be one for once and do what I wish for! I'm sick and tired of your excuses!"

She will most likely tell you to shut up or leave to which you will do the following:

*You leave*

[–]Alpha_FucksFormerly DaddyChadThundercock-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

You are careless when you type, I bet you are careless with your life.

Your wife isn't attracted to you because of your shitty personality.



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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