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Thanks MRP/ASKMRP, you fixed a man, and a marriage, although i no longer want the marriage.

by fruitylad | January 21, 2020 | askMRP

34 upvotes

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130 lbs. 5’0” BF 14% (Navy) 38 old

Squat: 230 x5, OHP: 108 x5, Rows: 124 x5, Bench: 141 x5, Deadlift: 245 x5.

MMSLP, WISNIFG, NMMNG, Rollo Best of year 1,2, 16COP, BOPook, TWOTSM, Bang, RationalMale, SGM, BP professor/red man group/ryan stone/rollo youtube videos, Huge amounts MRP/ASKMRP posts

Together for 12 married for 10, wife 33, kids 4 and 8.

This post is to say thank you to this community for the help you provided me, it truly is a goldmine of information, the hard work of putting it all together and laid out ready to follow is much appreciated. Also this post is for my own reference in future, for comparison for others and for any comments anyone would like to make.

What happened.......

15-16 months ago i got the ILYBNILWY speach. I knew this was really bad as I had some red pill knowledge. I discovered David Deangello and RSD back in my early 20s, and did a bootcamp with RSD Ozzie. However most of what i learned was all about cold approach pickup, nothing about long term relationships/hypergamy, lifting etc, but I knew about shit tests, oneitis, being non-needy, OI, just game stuff really. It got me from incel to a few dates and lays to the wife who was the first one who was super into me, sex every day etc.

So I did some searching online about the ILYBNILWY and found Athol Kay and then MRP/AskMRP. I knew instantly the info here was legit due to past knowledge, so began lifting and reading the sidebar as fast as a could. I started focusing on the shit tests she would throw which almost alawys came in the morning whilst getting ready for work, STFU and AA were weird at first but i just kept thinking dont DEER, and that automatically lead to STFU.

After ILYBNILWY she wouldn't kiss me and no sex, she gradually started responding to my efforts though and wanted to cuddle in bed again and would kiss me as we used to, But then almost exactly a year ago, I found out she had been having an affair, it went on for about 4 months and ended a few weeks before I found out.

What gave it away..........

What gave it away was the ILYBNILWY speach, then little sex, wouldnt even kiss(peck) me leaving the house, said she 'could' sleep with others and still maintain relationship and would i sleep with other girls if she said i could (covert talk). She was calling me shit head disrespectfully a lot and talking about divorce a fair bit. She panicked when i wanted to use her phone camera and started the camera for me instead of letting me do it, waxed her vagina for first time, started getting nails and hair done regularly and asked for anal out of the blue (just before the ILYBNILWY). This was the one that got me to check her phone secrelty, after listening to Rollo and Donovan Sharp saying women do this to practice for the alpha.

I took her phone when she was asleep and exported all the SMS messages and it was clear what was going on.

What I did........................

Initially i bluffed about not being sure of what to do, I told her family to give her a consequence and told her if anything else happens its immediately over. After the ILYBNILWY speach i started lifting and reading the sidebar as fast as i could. I couldnt believe that even though i thought i was enlightened to women compared to most, there was still so much i didnt know. After a couple of months of doing callisthenics, bought a barbell, squat rack and a bench, started stronglifts 5x5 and saw huge progress. I continued to focus on shit tests andI then started playing football (soccer) with friends again once a week like I used to and started going out for beers with them again, something i stopped doing when the kids were born. I took every chance to lead, doing housework, cleaning, aranging kids birthday parties, buying christmas presents, what to do on the weekends etc.

Over the last year, half my wardrobe has been replaced with newer, nicer clothing, my old stuff was old and worn and started good grooming habits that I long since stopped doing. When ive been out with friends ive been practising cold approach pickup and Im also just starting to learn guitar and my first karate class is next month.

Ive been stashing bitcoin and gold/silver bought with cash as much as i can without it being noticed, so its all unknown by her and off the books, also read up on divorce proceedings and divorce strategy.

Ive now read a huge amount of material, done stronglifts5x5, madcow 5x5 and customised madcow 5x10 variant, not missed more than 2 days training since i started. I look and dress much better, smell better, and im in the best shape ive ever been by far. Im far bigger, stronger than ever and my 6-pack is just now starting to look good as im currently cutting. I have a strong sense of mission, to experience and get good at everything i have ability to and im enjoying life again like i havent for years.

How she responded................

Initially after finding out about the affair, i was initiating about 3-4 times a week, and although she would have sex it felt obligated and forced and she would complain a lot about what i was doing, saying shes not enjoying it etc, the frequency was 1-2 times a week with 1-2 turn downs. Her general attitude was improving and shit testing was slowly getting less and softer, less aggressive. She initially would say you doing weights now in a grump, i would just say yes and carry on, but that subsided as time went on, now its just what i do. Then she started giving me complements about my body, touching, having better sex, less turn downs and then saying she loves me again, I say it back using the 2/3rds rule.

It was a mixed bag, lots of improvements but the real turning point happend when we were at the beach late last summer with her sister, i had my top off and her sister commented on how my body looked hot. Things then improved further very noticeably.

This continued until now where I rarely get denied sex, its about 75% starfish 25% active participation, she often will wear lingerie when i ask, anal sometimes, in different locations, recorded a time with a camera, and she never even did those things even when first met. Sex frequency is about 3-4 times per week, and her horneyness is 100% linked to her menstrual cycle. The 1000ft rope has pulled a little, she has tried dieting twice over the last 3 months. She says she loves cuddling at night me more than anything, follows my lead when cleaning house, shit tests less frequent and softer, generally more pleasant to be around, less stressed, less lazy, better to the kids, and she says she loves me all the time.

Now...............

Initially i had no plan to leave, i bluffed to her that couldn't decide what to do but deep down i was never going to leave due to the kids, I value my kids tremendously, above all else. Whilst being a blue pill beta, her lazyness and complaining about how difficult the kids were, I would take it upon myself to take all work away from her to make happy. So i gradually dropped my own hobbies, friends, etc so i could look after the kids at all times, do everything so she could relax, do what she wanted thinking this made me a good husband. It made my kids even more everything to me, i was either at work or with the kids, that was my life.

Now i still put my kids at the top, in the grand scheme of life im will accommodate my life heavily for a few years for them by staying so as to have full involvement and time with them whilst they are young. So i will keep reading, lifting (it just what i do now, i cant believe im 38 and never realised how much difference this makes for women), dressing well, gaming on nights out and leading. The marriage is better than it has been since the honeymoon period but ultimately I dont want it anymore, Ive lost my trust and respect for her. The wife goggles are off and i can see shes jsut a mostly lazy, HB5, not a great mother who drinks too much.She has tried losing weight recently but fails after a week or 2, I think she just doesnt have it in her to lose any significant amount of weight. The thought of financially supporting her when kids are older and left home is abhorrent to me. The constant question that comes to mind is 'what value does she add to my life and what is the cost to my life for that'

My plan is to stick to my MAP above for a few years, become the best man i can, enjoy my kids living with me 7 days a week until they are a little older and more independent so as to lessen the affect of only seeing them 50% of the week (about 3 years when they are 7 and 11) then start having fun with hookers as that has a low chance of getting caught (Did it once already soon after i found out about the affair for revenge). If i get caught no worries, we split, i see them regularly still and i wont affect our relationship too much as they are a bit older. If i dont get caught a few years after that when they are both 10+, i up and leave anyway and hopefully take the kids with me and hit the dating scene as the best man I can be.

When i contemplate the last year, i think its sad that the world is like this, every single mum in the playground picking up their kid has a corresponding man with a similar story no doubt, and every kid from a broken home (and there a a LOT) has a degraded father relationship as a result, but i digress. Im looking forward to what lies ahead of me, i now feel like im living a life rather than just existing, with purpose and direction.

Thanks for reading, hope it helps someone, and now i must continue my path.


Post Information
Title Thanks MRP/ASKMRP, you fixed a man, and a marriage, although i no longer want the marriage.
Author fruitylad
Upvotes 34
Comments 96
Date 21 January 2020 09:46 AM UTC (5 months ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/312737
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/ersfcn/thanks_mrpaskmrp_you_fixed_a_man_and_a_marriage/
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Comments

[–]Tyred_Biggums53 points54 points  (21 children) | Copy

So to sum up: 1) your wife cheated on you 2) you think you became RP 3) you will stay with cheating wife 4) you will buy sex from hookers

Hope this breakdown of your plan gives you some self reflection on how fucking dumb it is.

[–]justpickanyusernameRed Beret10 points11 points  (17 children) | Copy

Hey! It took OP over a year to hamster that scenario out of his ass. He really worked hard on convincing himself he is living life by his own rules. Show some respect.

[–]johneyapocalypseThe one that says "Bad Motherfucker"4 points5 points  (14 children) | Copy

I'm confused, the title says he "no longer wants the marriage" but he is staying married?

[–]Tyred_Biggums6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

He’s too scared to blow it up - wants to get hookers and get caught is my read.

[–]justpickanyusernameRed Beret5 points6 points  (11 children) | Copy

Let me explain it to you because you are obviously not getting it. See, when you state your question so plainly it does makes no sense. That is why you have to step back and really work at it. You need to write a wall of text in between both statements filled with all kinds of mental gymnastics to arrive at a such an opposing conclusion. You have to create some distance between the statements to hide the absurdity. And that is how you make stupid decisions and feel good about it. It really isn't that hard.

Just doing my part to help everyone understand. It is always good to ask questions and I'm glad you took the time to seek some guidance on the situation. That is what AskMRP is for. I'm glad I could help clarify.

[–]johneyapocalypseThe one that says "Bad Motherfucker"3 points4 points  (10 children) | Copy

Oh, cool - so more words + mental gymnastics + absurdity + some contradictions.

I thought I already did that quite well.

[–]Over60_FireTempered3Red Beret1 point2 points  (9 children) | Copy

Remember that post. Enjoyed it - Thanks again - Frank

[–]johneyapocalypseThe one that says "Bad Motherfucker"1 point2 points  (8 children) | Copy

I liked writing it and was amazed a few people fell for it - though perhaps it was no more preposterous than this post or others that have paved the way - my favorite being that italian dude.

[–]Over60_FireTempered3Red Beret1 point2 points  (7 children) | Copy

Someone deleted out on that thread. Who was it?

[–]johneyapocalypseThe one that says "Bad Motherfucker"1 point2 points  (6 children) | Copy

It was that 30-year old dude who was a bit of a disaster and/or semi-insane or just fake - bigdaddythundercock or similar.

[–]HornsOfApathyMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

Not fake, he's real. Daddy_Thundercock RIP.

He came back to MRP under a new username after his permaban. Guy is so fucking insane he was spotted in a couple weeks, again.

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

It also says that MRP saved the man.

[–]Onein1024th3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

at least he's got some hysterical bonding sex right now to placate him long enough for him to get comfortable and lazy betabux again. She's still fat, he's still rail thin at 130lbs (though 130lbs at 5 ft looks way better than 130lbs at 6 ft, it's still too light).

She'll always know that he's the kind of guy to stay with a cheating woman, which will make him a cuck in her eyes.

[–]z2a1-90 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

😂

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

Thanks for the summary. I read one paragraph and gave up.

[–]johneyapocalypseThe one that says "Bad Motherfucker"4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

I read the title and assumed it was a win.

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Click bait.

[–]stoicstephen30 points31 points  (14 children) | Copy

You brag about your RSD and pickup knowledge, so why did you go straight to hookers?

You could be fucking greater quality women and improving your game and frame at the same time, but you choose hookers.

[–]fruitylad[S] 2 points3 points  (13 children) | Copy

I know the theory, but am not very good as dont have much experience. The wife was the first girl who was completely into me, so I went all in as i had a scarcity mindset after years on incel, so my game practice stopped there. I chose a hooker again as its minimal risk of getting caught, and i wanted to keep things going for the kids.

[–]arm_candy19 points20 points  (0 children) | Copy

hit the dating scene as the best man I can be

You won’t be hitting the dating scene as the best you can be if you put off gaming for literally years, and you know it. Get out there and game and fuck some new women.

You’re already planning on leaving your wife. What exactly is the negative of her finding out that you’ve cheating? You’re hamstering that it’s fine if she catches you with a hooker but not in an affair. This makes no sense at all.

[–]stoicstephen3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I know the theory, but am not very good as dont have much experience.

One more reason why you should go out there and get some skin in the game.

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Doe a DEER, a female deer

[–]hack3geRed Beret10 points11 points  (8 children) | Copy

Nice hamster faggot.

You go with hookers because you aren’t actually attractive and you stay with your wife because you couldn’t get pussy if you were divorced. Think I’m wrong - prove it faggot.

I’m fucking a chick 15 years younger than my wife and I had to tell her no for like 6 months until I caved - meanwhile you pay to fuck hookers.

[–]Noitrasama4 points5 points  (7 children) | Copy

prove it faggot

he doesn't have to prove anything to you faggot!!!
He did it. Angry, pissed.. go fuck a tree.

[–]SorcererKingMod / Red Beret7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

OP clearly does not have that attitude. Our job is to call people out when they are clearly lying to us and themselves.

[–]JoeBuckYourslf0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This dude should be thankful for that.

And ashamed.

[–]hack3geRed Beret8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

He’s definitely proved a few things:

  • he has a wallet
  • he can’t lift heavy things
  • he has no self respect
  • he doesn’t care about his own happiness
  • he’s a faggot

[–]RStonePT6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

He didn't do anything. He's not asking OP to prove himself, he's getting him to self reflect on how little he has actually done

[–]arm_candy3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

What is with the upvotes for this angry MGTOW retard?

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The demographics are changing around here... expect more and more BP faggots to try to take this place over. We have enough red berets/MRP approved to ward off... for now

[–]ImNotSlash1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Aww, looks like we found OP's besty or other account

[–]An_Actual_Politician0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Choosing hookers is incel-think. Stop it. Download one of the many hookup/"dating" apps and get banging.

[–]RStonePT24 points25 points  (21 children) | Copy

There is a shit ton to break down in this. I'll start with this: OP has been here a year and is still posting fanfiction to the askmrp sub. I don't see any OWS, I don't see any insight, just a long rambling mess of [life] then [life] then [life].

Thank you

First, There's something about thank-you's in this space that drive a lot of the veterans nuts, I know because we say as much to each other. Thank you implies that everyone here is helping the guy out of the goodness of our hearts, which is not only insulting, but has a grandiose sense of self that you'd normally see in the inflated ego's of soccer moms. There is no thank you because there is reciprocity. I swap notes with you, and between the two of us we solve our individual problems, leaving bread crumbs behind for the next guy to do the same. The thank you exists because someone had nothing else to offer but a scant bit of validation. I find it hard to believe that this goof can spend almost two years reading notes, taking action and accomplishing things with not a single note to swap with anyone else, and while I continue to read his ‘field report’ — I could not find a way to make this sound more dismissive — it becomes clear that there is nothing in all this mess worth a damn to OP, let alone anyone else.

His Batman origin story is pretty standard. Girl started to up her sexual value without any leading her to this behaviour on his part. This always means she’s doing it for someone else's benefit, or that she hopes to. He takes the advice of checking her phone when his gut tells him something is up, and it’s the only red pilled thing I’ve seen so far. Trust, but verity. He never said why he was downloading evidence, is his jurisdiction a no-fault divorce or does it have some tactical or strategic benefit? Who knows, for some reason evidence is good. I assume that is because a lot of conflict averse guys like the pillar of authority to lean on because standing on their own decisions is too hard. “I’m leaving you not because I want to, but the evidence! My hands are tied, sorry” And the part that irks me is the actions this guy has taken as soon as he had more information. He analyzed the situation, then continued to analyze, then did the reasonable thing for the complete wrong reasons. Since he is a risk and conflict averse dude, some exercises from No More Mr Nice guy and the other basic red pilled tools would be good for him to learn how to become less unattractive; however, he was clearly trying to win her back from her new beau. Talk about giving a child dynamite.

this isn't a MAP, it's fucking around

This could have been a guy who understood his dignity and self respect were important, but instead he took her reneging on her marriage arrangement as a challenge to be a better man. Even if it worked, I cannot picture a human on this planet who respects someone who rewards bad behaviour like this. I couldn’t picture a man who respects himself for it, until today. He took leadership seriously. Became a single dad, not because he was getting ready to recapture his balls and boot the chick out of his tribe, but as a (hopeful) display of higher value. Wait till she sees how good a babysitter I am, then she will have to stop fucking Tyrone! No? Well now I bought some new clothes too! The hobbies are the only good thing so far, since it establishes he has a life that isn’t completely enveloped by winning this lady's heart back.

I see some lip service about seeking legal advice, but then admits to hiding assets. If he had talked with a lawyer, I guarantee the first advice they would have given to this plan was not to do it. A judge who finds a partner hiding assets from the divorce proceedings tends to use the gavel rectally on the offending party. I don’t know how much money is at stake here, but I never liked the idea of it to begin with, it’s wasted effort. Either you don’t have a net worth that is worth protecting and you don’t need to worry about hiding table scraps, or you do, and it is relatively trivial to make back what you lost. Now, if it was about not paying her to get on a new dick, your legal team is more than happy to make sure you burn it on their services beforehand. If it was about saving the money for his kids, there are other ways to ensure that. But I guess his lawyer advised hiding it under the mattress.

because it didn't accomplish anything

Nothing really changed his situation though. She had her fun and either couldn’t hold onto her new little alpha toy, or her toy decided he wasn’t going to leave his wife for her. Either way, she ended it, and was perfectly happy to take a mulligan and keep him in the dark. This is not a victory by any stretch. Now that she’s with him she has renewed interest in him, I’ll go with that. Perhaps after all the sex that she was having she realized what he offered was better, sure. All I know is when my dog gets rabies I will have to put him down, and his dog was definitely frothing at the mouth for a few months.

But then we get to the outcome. He didn’t want this outcome, he said as much, but now he’s trying to square peg his life into the round hole … literally. He no longer likes her or respects her, but the pain of actually doing something about it sucks, so he takes his children and uses them as human shields to shroud his inaction under the guise of ‘doing it for the children!’ I don’t buy it, and if he doesn’t get why this may be a problem don’t worry, the kids will soon enough. I remember ultimateCAD, a very old poster in here, had the same scenario. He of course became chad, destroyer of neighbourhood housewives. He demoted his wife to the role of plate and babysitter, while he had his fun with everyone else. OP didn’t really do it, for some reason he is still holding to his end of the bargain, even when it is clear he would be the only one to, except the hookers. For some reason sleeping with a hooker isn’t cheating, so he jury rigged his lack of game and frame as some sort of favour to his wife and the institution of marriage.

fuck this guy

This guys learned nothing, and is the exact example of being purple pilled. He gets the game, but hides his lack of action with the jargon, then has the balls to thank everyone here for helping him. What actually happened is life did some stuff, he did some stuff, no one had any plan going in or coming out, and whatever happened is now exactly what he wanted, this isn’t gratitude, this is flipping the middle finger to everyone who ever spend effort on curating this space.

I mean, what exactly happened? Wife got some strange, lost some strange, and got a better plow horse for her trouble. Maybe if she fucks another dude behind a dumpster he will work more overtime and buy her a car?

Fuck this guy,

What could have been

So many directions, and every man charts his own path so this isn't a 'I woulda done' because that is just a social signalling to feel good about myself. The main thing this guy missed was direction:

  • Was he going to leave or not? Stick to it
  • If he was, what was he hiding money in BTC for when he keeps rambling on about tucking his kids in at night? Congruence in what you say you want and what you move towards. If that was the case, Mr. Mom practice before booting his ex would have made sense
  • If he changed his mind, why did he not make a move to put himself in a place where he would never be forced to eat this shit ever again? in 2 years he is still 130 lbs with numbers that I know any serious lifter in here makes fun of? He's skinny fat, not attractive, and made no mention of any attempt to change this. I assume because that would be hard, kind of like kicking out a cheating whore of a wife.

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret1 point2 points  (9 children) | Copy

Top notch comment /u/rstonept

[–]RStonePT2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I've turned into jackten 🤣🤣😭

[–]RStonePT0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy

Off topic. I haven't seen your group since 2017. How have all the friends been holding up? I'll never forget the story about how they were eye fucking Rollo's wife back before anyone knew who he was lol

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

Yeah, I wasn’t there for that incident you referred to, but there’s other interesting stuff with my boys too, Which I won’t say on here .

But, they are holding up pretty well. One is now engaged, but I think he set like a 5 year engagement +1 for TRP. The other one is reasonably content and living life to the fullest... sold his house and he’s been living out of a small camper... allows him to build his business and keep his costs down... but more importantly, flexible to enjoy nature and hike and stuff. We all are in regular contact.

I have a couple other guys that I’m in a jam band with that are somewhat RP. Gotta keep the social life going. We have been jamming on Friday night. I can’t imagine trying to jam on a Friday night pre-MRP. For sure, I would have backed out in BP fashion.

How’s everything with you? Saw you had a book coming out .

[–]RStonePT0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

Ever since I was 20 I always wanted to start a business but had no idea what to do.

Turns out, so long as you plan for it it's actually pretty straight forward. Plus, not since my art degree have I actually had a chance to do creative work. I love it, and all I had to do was lean into my strengths, being the loveable asshole.

Was going to have a sailor get together but a blizzard got in the way, will have to do it again in a while

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

Yep, we started a business last year, and it really is all about planning and follow through. It’s a 7 day a week gig until you can get a strong base of people in our business. It’s easy to turn on the TV and put it off, so it does require a ton of discipline . You have to think of it as going to a job and putting in the hours.... and learn from mistakes, which are frequent

[–]RStonePT0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

I learned that from my old companies work- from- home program.

One of the contractors I worked with told me to carve out a work cave, and treat it like a sad married man treats a man cave... Best advice I ever got

If anything my issue was not taking a lunch break it pacing myself more... If it's not productive time it's time for a break.

Sure, I feel lazy at 70% but output increased...

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I have the opposite problem, taking a break at 50% and then getting sidetracked. The key is awareness and making the change slowly.

10% is 100 percent better than zero%

[–]RStonePT0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Ha, that sucks man

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

That’s why I think it’s important to have partners... different strengths. My main partner is a work-a -holic... literally

I’m better at taking a step back and finding efficiencies am catching important stuff that’s missed.

Delegation is my specialty (j/k - little AMRP subtle joke there)

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (8 children) | Copy

Why is this not a blog post!?!

[–]RStonePT0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy

I may edit later to make it one. I'm putting off reading my own fucking book now that it's back from the editors.

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy

If you get J10 to do the introduction, I'm buying it.

[–]Cloudy_Pirate1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

LOL.

Now get Red-sfplus to write the forward to TFA's new book.

[–]RStonePT1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Guess I better get back to work.

[–]Cloudy_Pirate0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

If your book is as good as this post, I'll buy it.

[–]RStonePT2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Better. It's with the editor now, and as I described it, its if you took "fight club", "12 rules for life" and "I hope they serve beer in hell", put them into a blue collar blender and served cold.

[–]johneyapocalypseThe one that says "Bad Motherfucker"0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Damn, stoney, you're writing a book and it's progressed that far?

Good man. Nice to hear it.

[–]RStonePT1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Already? I started it almost a year ago. About the time you first sent me that PM

[–]tom-anonymous0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I have one word. Profound. And this is an understatement. OP read this reply everyday. I know I will...

[–]RStonePT9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

There is a reason this isn't addressed to the OP.

Over the last two years he's refused to read and understand anything. Words for him are wasted. This is for us

[–]HornsOfApathyMod / Red Beret11 points12 points  (4 children) | Copy

This is a good example for two reasons:

  1. ILYBINILWY - 95% of the time she is fucking someone else. 5% of the time she has someone lined up ready to fuck.

  2. You can have all the RP knowledge in the world and still have a weak frame where you never internalize your time is your most valuable asset in life.

You do you, OP, but IMO you aren't "fixed" (right now).

[–]fruitylad[S] -1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy

You can have all the RP knowledge in the world and still have a weak frame where you never internalize your time is your most valuable asset in life.

This is at the heart of my internal debate. I realise time is so massively important, the debate is between whether playing it safe with the kids and their relationship to me is worth the time, and in the grand scheme of things i think it is for me. However this is at the heart of me taking up all my new activities/hobbies, aint getting younger and i need to split up with the wife when im young enoguh to still play the dating market.

[–]HornsOfApathyMod / Red Beret6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

playing it safe

Keep that hamster running bro.

[–]Tyred_Biggums1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

No RP man would take the “playing it safe” option. Stop be scared and take action. Whatever that may be - but set a path and move forward. You’re straddling two paths right now and that’s not going to work.

[–]tspitsatgp7 points8 points  (3 children) | Copy

You can’t put humpty dumpty back together again. You will always know that it’s broken and it will gnaw at you. Do you want to live another year like that? Your whole life?

I used to beat myself up with the thought of not having the kids with me 100%. But you get passed that and realise you are an individual, first and foremost, and that you have a life to live as well. Set an example for them. When you do have the kids give them your full attention, when you have don’t have the kids do whatever the fuck you want.

Fast forward 20-30 years... would your advice to your kids be to stay with a cheating partner? I doubt it.

By only staying for the kids you are giving into fear.

[–]fruitylad[S] -1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy

You will always know that it’s broken and it will gnaw at you. Do you want to live another year like that? Your whole life?

No, its a horrible permanent feeling that i know will never go away. I know it cant be fixed, it over and i know it. Im fine with that though, im not trying to fix it, I have come to terms with the fact i will end it in future.

By only staying for the kids you are giving into fear.

Not thought about it like that, but your correct in that im scared about how leaving now would affect the kids, and my relationship to them. They mean the world to me, and they prefer me to the wife, seems to much of a risk to blow it up now, but in future they will have their own lives to live.

[–]tspitsatgp2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I had to come to terms with this too, but the reality is that sometimes shit happens and at that point it is out of our control. We don’t always get to choose what happens to us, sometimes we can only choose how to respond.

FYI > it’s never as bad as you think. I have had two big fears over the past couple of years. My brother dying and telling my kids that their mother and I were separating. Both events occurred within two months of each other last year and while it was hard, I got through it much better than I thought I would. The kids did too.

[–]Tyred_Biggums0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That feeling can and will go away. But you need to break out of your own head and start doing things for you - not your wife and not your kids.

Kids need to see a man living life and enjoying himself. Not a cuck with no self respect.

[–]mrpthrowa9 points10 points  (11 children) | Copy

enjoy my kids living with me 7 days a week until they are a little older and more independent so as to lessen the affect of only seeing them 50% of the week (about 3 years when they are 7 and 11) then start having fun with hookers as that has a low chance of getting caught (Did it once already soon after i found out about the affair for revenge)

I'm going to say something controversial and utter the unutterable - living with your kids 7 days a week is not necessary.

Or even healthy. Neither for you, nor for them.

[–]hack3geRed Beret10 points11 points  (4 children) | Copy

100% on this - it’s natures way of making a male hamster convince himself to stay to protect his young. It’s purely instinctual and not reality anymore.

This is a crutch that faggots lean on who can’t make decisions. This faggot is staying with a woman who gargled another mans cum and did all kinds of nasty shit with her that he doesn’t even get now because he’s still a faggot in her eyes.

Just another faggot setting himself on fire to keep others warm - it’s sad because it’s literally in the first books you are supposed to read.

His lifts also suck.

[–]mrpthrowa0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

100% this. "Stay for the kids" is a modern gynocentric shame construct to keep beta men around.

The office drone every day at home dad is a 20th century invention.

[–]RStonePT1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

6 year old human shields

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

That's a bit harsh. He weighs only 130lbs. His lifts are ok for half a man.

[–]hack3geRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Here I was thinking I was being nice...

I was going to tell him the chick I’m fucking from the gym weighs 115lbs and she benches 165 - it’s a sad day when I’m safer with her as my spotter than a “man”.

[–]Techn1ckS1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I remember reading this somewhere and it kinda stuck with me: it's not the amount of time you spend with your kids that's important, but the quality of time you spend with them.

[–]fruitylad[S] 1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

They are very happy little kids and the thought of tearing the family apart i just cant stomach.

I will say though that i acknowledge its as much for me as it is for them. I have noticed since last year, when i look at other dads and how they are with their kids, i most probably do give them too much of my time, attention and do too much for them. I appreciate its not necessary in order to have a good relationship with them, but to me its not optimal, my influence is less, and there is a risk the wife might go nuts at some point and try to stop my time with them.

For me I just keep coming back to a choice between optimal relationship with kids, vs my optimal life, and given my life is mostly the same minus some temp lost dignity and a new potential relationship/casual sex it makes sense to stay as my optimal life isn't going away, its just delayed. The time with kids is lost forever when they are young.

[–]Tyred_Biggums2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

So you’re now codependent on your kids? FFS.

Stop hamstering the what if. Your optimal life and optimal relationship with your kids are not mutually exclusive. You may see them less - so what? When you do see them give them your full presence and the relationship will likely improve.

[–]mrpthrowa6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

All you said above is hamster talk.

Look, your kids are going to get much more direction and role model behaviour in life from a dad with options who takes life by the neck, then one who stays around after being cucked.

I say this as a guy whose parents stayed around (and still do, bless them) for the kids.

When I look at myself, who were my role models?

It certainly wasn't my dad, who was around 24/7, I love the man but he's a beta man who doesn't know how to lead a family and set boundaries.

My role models were my grand pa and my uncle.

I've never seen my grand pa yell or lost his shit, had unbreakable frame, everyone was fucking fearful of him, had social stature everywhere he went, had two wives - the second was younger than his children from the first, 2 months after the first wife died, he had more children than I can count and probably more than 50 grand children. He had balls of steel, an owner of a large farm with a ton of workpeople, a hunter who would stay overnight in the mountains looking for wild boars and bringing his prizes on to display, did not give a shit about anyone, true abundance, would do his own thing. I spent a few days with him in his farm and had the time of my life. Man taught me how to catch deadly scorpions with a wooden stick at the age of 11.

My uncle, a powerlifter and trader, would take his restaurant business and open branches in uncharted towns and is more often away than at home. From a young age, whenever we met he'd bust me at how weak I am and how I should lift, gave me my first jumping ropes and an assortment of home made weights, taught me pushups/press ups and a ton of exercises

Somehow, through the very few interactions we had, I learnt more from them about what it is to be a man than from my dad, frankly. I still look up to them.

[–]AlohaMaui8081 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

there is a risk the wife might go nuts at some point and try to stop my time with them.

That's what court ordered custody is for, you self lying sack of shit.

Your ego is bigger than you are. Literally.

You may have read those books but you certainly haven't applied them to your own life. You are not your own mental point of origin. If I've read your responses correctly you've simply shifted your "mission" (in quotes because it ISN'T a mission) from your wife to your kids, and you are now using them in true Nice Guy fashion to justify your failure to prioritize your own self respect and dignity. Do you really think that's a good example of a man for them to grow up around? Do you think they don't see the shit you and your wife try to keep hidden from them? Do you think they can't see that mommy doesn't really like or love daddy? Or worse yet, that this is what love and a marriage is supposed to look like?!?

Fuck you faggot. You don't love your kids or you would be divorced already. You just don't want anything to change yet because your ego can't take it.

[–]fannyfire5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

The consensus seems to be that you aren’t fixed and I agree. A man who was cheated on by his wife and still sticks around when she’s ugly, a poor mother and offers no value to his life hasn’t swallowed the pill. Your wife whored around while you worked your ass off and now she gets to enjoy the fruits of your labor? Hookers =/= abundance. You deserve better than that.

[–]arm_candy1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You deserve better than that.

No one deserves shit. Go get what you want.

[–]PillUpAss8 points9 points  (2 children) | Copy

Logically you know you should leave now, but you are still emotionally dependent on your wife and family structure so you are rationalizing. You are not as far along as you think you are.

You are still highly invested in your wife, you have no game, no balls and no lifts beyond those of a small teenage boy. You are still at the bottom and have a ton of work to do. The only difference is now you have some visibility on what could be, if you climb out. Stop thanking anyone like you’ve made it and get back to work.

[–]fruitylad[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Point taken, i have a long way to go still, the path is long, but at least i feel like i know the path and have been walking it this last year.

[–]Over60_FireTempered3Red Beret3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy

Just looked at u/fruitylad post history. Where's the ban the fucker fairy?

[–]RStonePT2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

I don't know the onomatopoeia for a magic wand so, whoosh?

[–]Over60_FireTempered3Red Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Isn't magic wand an electric dildo?

Yup, that's it. Electric Dildo.

Wow, you really wrote a long comment on this guy. But I'm sure it wasn't for this loser OP. Still, good stuff. Good luck on your (real) book!

[–]mrpthrowa1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Holy shit! this is the dude that was told by everyone not to display his hand, yet he did

Then he spent a full year hamstering away everything he was told and has the balls to come back and say...

Thanks MRP!

What the fuck

[–]Over60_FireTempered3Red Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Hamster baits hamster. Still there's a chance, maybe he could get off the wheel. Lots of work to do for OP.

[–]NeoTheJuanDJ1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You have turned a hooker into a sexual buffer. A hooker won’t reject you. A higher quality girl can and probably will. You suck at game? You haven’t practiced in years, of course you do! Using a hooker is the same things as a dude using Tinder because he is scared of the probable rejection and failure of approaching women in real life. A hooker won’t turn a man down with money. Your problem isn’t sex. It’s fear of rejection. And rarely will you find something inoculate you of the fear of rejection like the art of pick up will. But you need to be approaching. It’s the only way you’ll get better.

Theory is meaningless without the practical.

[–]czatara1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Come on guys, OP is clearly rationalizing a lot his current situation, but at 5’0” his options are quite limited. There is no amount of lifting, money or mission that will turn him into a Chad and slay all his suburban neighboring housewives. His height puts him on the same level of having a serious disability, such as being blind or losing a limb. Even limb lengthening surgery is out of question at his age and at the needed gains to get to average. Game (almost) over.

OP, you first need to do some damage control. Your wife is a cheating whore, if you stay it will destroy your soul (as well as fucking hookers). Get tested for STDs, get a paternity test for your children, stop fucking this bitch especially without a condom, etc. Then, get a lawyer, make an exit plan even if it takes years, move assets abroad, relocate, get proof of her infidelity, etc. The goal is to get maximum custody of your children and leave nothing for this bitch and Chad.

Secondly, you need to maximize your SMV. Lift and get shredded as much as you can, it is way easier at your height. Invest, get rich, buy nice clothes and toys, etc. No excuses!

Thirdly, stop trying to play this game as an alpha. Even at your peak SMV, you will be easily AMOGged by Chad or Tyrone if you enter into any LTR, it is just a matter of time. But that doesn’t mean you need to resign yourself to be a beta cuckold!

Instead, try to build yourself a harem in which you have high-status and thus can be considered a situational alpha. There are several possibilities, such as teaching part-time at a local college in chick-dense courses (e.g. nursing, psychology or gender studies); getting a part-time barman gig; owning a club; teaching yoga, etc. Get a vasectomy, never commit, be friendly and enjoy fucking your social circle.

[–]redpillruminations1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

What advice do you have for overcoming height challenges?

[–]arm_candy0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Hookers

[–]redpillruminations0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

I wanted to hear him say it, though.

[–]arm_candy0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Maybe he can tell you about the step stool he uses when he fucks them standing up.

[–]redpillruminations0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Brutal

[–]arm_candy0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Easy target.

[–]Big_Daddy_PDX0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I mean, good for you for waking the fuck up, but what are you really doing to change the course of your life? It seems like nothing. You’re still with a woman that was fucking another dude. That should be a non-starter. Staying with the cheating whore for the kids? Great example of a relationship for those kids. The funniest part is how content you are with your HB5 lazy wife.

At least see a divorce attorney and figure out how to make a plan to the end. I finally dropped my(48) HB6 Ex(52), that was just a useless, day, harpy after 17yrs married and now I spend my days with my career oriented and successful HB9 GF(32). Life is short. Choose how you want to live your days. You decide how you model the life you want your children to imitate.

[–]macheagle0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Don’t worry about hookers. They are legal in many parts of Europe and Asia. Very high end, legitimate businesses and establishments. Just take a trip to one of those many places in the future if you’re up for some legal commercial. Where I am here in Asia (I moved for my career), I hit the clubs on most nights but definitely the commercial for other nights when I’ve got too much going on and don’t need the extra BS. I don’t pay them to fuck, I pay them so they can leave afterward and I can get back to my mission and purpose.

Good to hear about everything else brother. All the best.

[–]SelectAirline0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

A year ago, your excuse was that you said that there was no point in ending it because you could just fuck other women on the side (context here). You were blaming your kids for your shortcomings back then as well.

start having fun with hookers as that has a low chance of getting caught failure

FTFY. You're afraid of talking to other women, just like you're afraid of your wife, so to avoid any inkling of discomfort you've rationalized staying with your wife and figure you'll just pay someone else to touch your dick.

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

So, it took you 16 months after the ILYBINILWY to make this decision?

[–]redditguy61-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

5.0 feet? My advice is that you should.....

Follow the yellow brick road....



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