130 lbs. 5’0” BF 14% (Navy) 38 old
Squat: 230 x5, OHP: 108 x5, Rows: 124 x5, Bench: 141 x5, Deadlift: 245 x5.
MMSLP, WISNIFG, NMMNG, Rollo Best of year 1,2, 16COP, BOPook, TWOTSM, Bang, RationalMale, SGM, BP professor/red man group/ryan stone/rollo youtube videos, Huge amounts MRP/ASKMRP posts
Together for 12 married for 10, wife 33, kids 4 and 8.
This post is to say thank you to this community for the help you provided me, it truly is a goldmine of information, the hard work of putting it all together and laid out ready to follow is much appreciated. Also this post is for my own reference in future, for comparison for others and for any comments anyone would like to make.
15-16 months ago i got the ILYBNILWY speach. I knew this was really bad as I had some red pill knowledge. I discovered David Deangello and RSD back in my early 20s, and did a bootcamp with RSD Ozzie. However most of what i learned was all about cold approach pickup, nothing about long term relationships/hypergamy, lifting etc, but I knew about shit tests, oneitis, being non-needy, OI, just game stuff really. It got me from incel to a few dates and lays to the wife who was the first one who was super into me, sex every day etc.
So I did some searching online about the ILYBNILWY and found Athol Kay and then MRP/AskMRP. I knew instantly the info here was legit due to past knowledge, so began lifting and reading the sidebar as fast as a could. I started focusing on the shit tests she would throw which almost alawys came in the morning whilst getting ready for work, STFU and AA were weird at first but i just kept thinking dont DEER, and that automatically lead to STFU.
After ILYBNILWY she wouldn't kiss me and no sex, she gradually started responding to my efforts though and wanted to cuddle in bed again and would kiss me as we used to, But then almost exactly a year ago, I found out she had been having an affair, it went on for about 4 months and ended a few weeks before I found out.
What gave it away..........
What gave it away was the ILYBNILWY speach, then little sex, wouldnt even kiss(peck) me leaving the house, said she 'could' sleep with others and still maintain relationship and would i sleep with other girls if she said i could (covert talk). She was calling me shit head disrespectfully a lot and talking about divorce a fair bit. She panicked when i wanted to use her phone camera and started the camera for me instead of letting me do it, waxed her vagina for first time, started getting nails and hair done regularly and asked for anal out of the blue (just before the ILYBNILWY). This was the one that got me to check her phone secrelty, after listening to Rollo and Donovan Sharp saying women do this to practice for the alpha.
I took her phone when she was asleep and exported all the SMS messages and it was clear what was going on.
What I did........................
Initially i bluffed about not being sure of what to do, I told her family to give her a consequence and told her if anything else happens its immediately over. After the ILYBNILWY speach i started lifting and reading the sidebar as fast as i could. I couldnt believe that even though i thought i was enlightened to women compared to most, there was still so much i didnt know. After a couple of months of doing callisthenics, bought a barbell, squat rack and a bench, started stronglifts 5x5 and saw huge progress. I continued to focus on shit tests andI then started playing football (soccer) with friends again once a week like I used to and started going out for beers with them again, something i stopped doing when the kids were born. I took every chance to lead, doing housework, cleaning, aranging kids birthday parties, buying christmas presents, what to do on the weekends etc.
Over the last year, half my wardrobe has been replaced with newer, nicer clothing, my old stuff was old and worn and started good grooming habits that I long since stopped doing. When ive been out with friends ive been practising cold approach pickup and Im also just starting to learn guitar and my first karate class is next month.
Ive been stashing bitcoin and gold/silver bought with cash as much as i can without it being noticed, so its all unknown by her and off the books, also read up on divorce proceedings and divorce strategy.
Ive now read a huge amount of material, done stronglifts5x5, madcow 5x5 and customised madcow 5x10 variant, not missed more than 2 days training since i started. I look and dress much better, smell better, and im in the best shape ive ever been by far. Im far bigger, stronger than ever and my 6-pack is just now starting to look good as im currently cutting. I have a strong sense of mission, to experience and get good at everything i have ability to and im enjoying life again like i havent for years.
How she responded................
Initially after finding out about the affair, i was initiating about 3-4 times a week, and although she would have sex it felt obligated and forced and she would complain a lot about what i was doing, saying shes not enjoying it etc, the frequency was 1-2 times a week with 1-2 turn downs. Her general attitude was improving and shit testing was slowly getting less and softer, less aggressive. She initially would say you doing weights now in a grump, i would just say yes and carry on, but that subsided as time went on, now its just what i do. Then she started giving me complements about my body, touching, having better sex, less turn downs and then saying she loves me again, I say it back using the 2/3rds rule.
It was a mixed bag, lots of improvements but the real turning point happend when we were at the beach late last summer with her sister, i had my top off and her sister commented on how my body looked hot. Things then improved further very noticeably.
This continued until now where I rarely get denied sex, its about 75% starfish 25% active participation, she often will wear lingerie when i ask, anal sometimes, in different locations, recorded a time with a camera, and she never even did those things even when first met. Sex frequency is about 3-4 times per week, and her horneyness is 100% linked to her menstrual cycle. The 1000ft rope has pulled a little, she has tried dieting twice over the last 3 months. She says she loves cuddling at night me more than anything, follows my lead when cleaning house, shit tests less frequent and softer, generally more pleasant to be around, less stressed, less lazy, better to the kids, and she says she loves me all the time.
Initially i had no plan to leave, i bluffed to her that couldn't decide what to do but deep down i was never going to leave due to the kids, I value my kids tremendously, above all else. Whilst being a blue pill beta, her lazyness and complaining about how difficult the kids were, I would take it upon myself to take all work away from her to make happy. So i gradually dropped my own hobbies, friends, etc so i could look after the kids at all times, do everything so she could relax, do what she wanted thinking this made me a good husband. It made my kids even more everything to me, i was either at work or with the kids, that was my life.
Now i still put my kids at the top, in the grand scheme of life im will accommodate my life heavily for a few years for them by staying so as to have full involvement and time with them whilst they are young. So i will keep reading, lifting (it just what i do now, i cant believe im 38 and never realised how much difference this makes for women), dressing well, gaming on nights out and leading. The marriage is better than it has been since the honeymoon period but ultimately I dont want it anymore, Ive lost my trust and respect for her. The wife goggles are off and i can see shes jsut a mostly lazy, HB5, not a great mother who drinks too much.She has tried losing weight recently but fails after a week or 2, I think she just doesnt have it in her to lose any significant amount of weight. The thought of financially supporting her when kids are older and left home is abhorrent to me. The constant question that comes to mind is 'what value does she add to my life and what is the cost to my life for that'
My plan is to stick to my MAP above for a few years, become the best man i can, enjoy my kids living with me 7 days a week until they are a little older and more independent so as to lessen the affect of only seeing them 50% of the week (about 3 years when they are 7 and 11) then start having fun with hookers as that has a low chance of getting caught (Did it once already soon after i found out about the affair for revenge). If i get caught no worries, we split, i see them regularly still and i wont affect our relationship too much as they are a bit older. If i dont get caught a few years after that when they are both 10+, i up and leave anyway and hopefully take the kids with me and hit the dating scene as the best man I can be.
When i contemplate the last year, i think its sad that the world is like this, every single mum in the playground picking up their kid has a corresponding man with a similar story no doubt, and every kid from a broken home (and there a a LOT) has a degraded father relationship as a result, but i digress. Im looking forward to what lies ahead of me, i now feel like im living a life rather than just existing, with purpose and direction.
Thanks for reading, hope it helps someone, and now i must continue my path.