TheRedArchive needs help
With 700,000+ posts and 16,000,000+ comments archived, and new Red Pill content being added every week, keeping TheRedArchive alive and discoverable to everyone is starting to become very costly. As a 20-year-old student who just moved out and is living independently for the first time, keeping TheRedArchive alive is beginning to cost me much more than I thought.

Therefore, if you appreciate the website, have gained a lot of knowledge and insight from it, and want to show your appreciation, you can do so by donating any amount that you want via the options below. The money will be used on the expensive monthly host bill and any future maintenance of the website.
Thank you, and I wish you all a successful 2021 and a good luck with achieving your goals and dreams!

Best, /u/dream-hunter

Feel really guilty about kicking girl out after sex even though she deserved it. How to have less empathy?

Reddit View
January 27, 2020
157 upvotes

Hey guys I need some advice on how to have less empathy. yesterday a new plate hit me up out of the blue asking me if I wanted to go to some water park with her during the day and it looked pretty dumb so I declined. She then hit me up again later in the afternoon telling me that she wants to see me and give me a massage and then sent me a picture of her tiddies. I told her sure and invited her to my apartment.

Anyways she gets to my place around 10:30 and starts shit testing me right away. I tell her I’m looking forward to the massage and she says that she’s too tired from the water park and got too sunburn or some shit (she actually was pretty fucking cooked lol). So we just start un-enthusiastically making out and she’s not into it. Eventually we fuck after 20 minutes of shitty foreplay and her telling me she is too tired for sex. It was the most boring half hour of doggy of my life it was like I was fucking a lifeless sex doll.

Anyways after this I’m pretty pissed and annoyed. I never got my massage and had some of the most boring sex of my life. It was Saturday night and a group of my friends were going to my favorite club and I was suddenly in the mood to join them.

So after i nutted, I sat on the bed for a minute, went to take a piss then began to get dressed. She looked visibly confused as to what was going on and I could see her hamster wheel begin to spin.

She asked me why I was getting dressed and I told her that she was annoying me so I was going out to the club with my friends, and that she had to go. Her face looked like I just murdered her brand new puppy. As I got out my phone to call her an Uber home she starts hugging me, kissing me, and crying.

I haven’t done anything this cold before so I couldn’t help but feel really bad about what I was doing. This girl packed a backpack to come over and was fully expecting to stay the night. Also, I actually really like this girl and find her to be really adorable . And it honestly broke my heart to see her crying on my shoulder as I was ordering an Uber. But I knew that if I didn’t hold frame she wouldn’t respect me and the plate would drop.

So I sent her home and then met up with my friends to go to the club. And I couldn’t help but have a shit time and ended up leaving early because I felt like too much of a dick for making this girl cry. She blew up my phone telling me she was sorry for being a bitch but I haven’t replied yet.

How do you guys block out blue pill and empathetic feelings that you get towards women. This is really an issue for me as I’m naturally a kind a caring person. Thanks


Post Information
Title Feel really guilty about kicking girl out after sex even though she deserved it. How to have less empathy?
Author Cryptomineand69
Upvotes 157
Comments 155
Date 27 January 2020 03:23 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/315757
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/eui1aa/feel_really_guilty_about_kicking_girl_out_after/
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
framehamsterplateshit testthe blue pill
Comments

[–]quickdrawmccaw280 points281 points  (18 children) | Copy

Being redpill, truly redpill, has nothing to do with being an asshole. A lot of guys that don’t really understand it think it’s just about being a jerkoff and bragging about slamming 4s. It’s not.

The true red pill male isn’t the toughest guy in the room. He’s the smartest guy in the room. To be rp isn’t about how big of a jerk you can be. It’s about controlling the script of the night, and on a larger scale, your life. Being in control. That’s what it’s about. Just like lifting, reading, and many other things preached in TRP, being an ass is merely a tool used to control or manipulate a given situation. To me it sounds like you were using a hammer for a job more fit for a screwdriver.

That’s all I’ve got for you.

[–]Onidramon70 points71 points  (2 children) | Copy

Being redpill, truly redpill, has nothing to do with being an asshole. A lot of guys that don’t really understand it think it’s just about being a jerkoff and bragging about slamming 4s. It’s not.

Big part of this may be the problem of guys taking what women say about their exes at face value. They paint this big graphic picture of an absolutely vile and vicious prick with no redeeming qualities, mixing him in with the worst of the worst out there, all because he held frame and didn't do what she wanted.

A woman will fuck a well-mannered alpha who simply respects himself and she will fuck a literal psychopath. The ancient underlying attraction factors are identical. The problem is, in the eyes the solipsistic hamster facing a bad breakup or long-term relationship rejection, the friendly guy with self-respect who improves society and the dangerous psychopath are seen as the same monster.

When friendzoned noobs get these secondhand reports from women looking for a shoulder to cry on, they unironically believe that all the guys who give women feels for not agreeing to all her requests and refusing to walk on egg shells are "assholes". And so, they set out to emulate this mythical mega asshole who clearly must set the standard for getting sex. Because that's what they heard!

And of course, that super loud hyper-polarizing guy with no filter who goes around starting fights and insulting women in public while getting away with it (whether it's due to ridiculous top 1% social proof and/or mental problems) is obviously always going to be more visible for reference than the "quiet professional" type who is actually quite amicable with women and simply knows how to escalate in a casual, less abrasive manner.

Think of it in terms of how kids regard their parents. We've got a lot of objectively shitty parents in our society. From the neglectful morons whose untrained children may somehow succeed in spite of them at best, to the violent, actively antagonistic parents who either can't tell or don't care for the difference between tough love and child abuse.

We've also got very loving, competent parents who know the value of maintaining hard boundaries in the household. But when their spoiled teenage brat doesn't get what they want, they say they have bad parents. "I hate you mom and dad! I wanna get a $300 face tat but you won't let me because you wanna pay bills! Fuck you guys!" That level of boundary-setting, eight times out of ten, is what makes you an "asshole".

[–]Thinkingard7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

And a lot of guys who see themselves as nice will be surprised to find out their girl/wife whatever doesn’t think they’re nice and will never mention that stuff to her girlfriends.

Being nice means something to males bc we might get into life altering fights. It doesn’t mean the same thing to women they perceive it as weakness bc they want a fighting/aggressive male bc they don’t suffer the consequences.

[–]askmrcia4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

True. If I had a dollar for every girl that said they dated an abusive guy (emotionally or physically) I'd be richer then Bill Gates.

[–]learning00076 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Great post!!!!

[–]jrr6415sun2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I wouldn't call it being an asshole, just not letting people take control of you.

[–]Cryptomineand6915 points16 points  (8 children) | Copy

I’m not truly redpill. If I was I wouldn’t be questioning my decisions on reddit. I wasn’t really consciously trying to be a dick I was just pissed off in the moment and didn’t want to hang out with her at that moment anymore. Seeing her reaction to my actions is what fucked me up I didn’t expect her to cry like that.

I’m not really good at speaking in metaphors since English is not my native language.

[–]clickherebaby4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Im always so amazed when im reading someones post/comment and it turns out English isnt their 1st language. Fooled my ass

[–]quickdrawmccaw15 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy

If you’re not even trying to be redpill, what’s the point of being so mean to this girl? Now you’re just a BP and an asshole.

Hablas español, no? Soy americano, mi español no es perfecto, pero yo viví en cuba por tres mes en el año pasado, lo sé un poco si este es más fácil para ti.

[–]Krebota2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

I hate that some endorsed contributors active on this sub disagree with your first point, since it couldn't be more true

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy

[deleted]

[–]BloodSurgery1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

TRP isnt an ideology for people without a goal to follow thought. If you believe, or choose that it is one, thwn so be it. But at its bare contents TRP is about fucking girls, nothing more, nothing less.

Kinda cool of the mods for removing your ban tho lmao, first time I see someone (even temporarily) banned again.

[–]jackandjill220 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Hm

[–]Onidramon119 points120 points  (21 children) | Copy

Empathy isn't bluepill, being a bitch and supplicating for the sake of an outcome is bluepill. You overshot an alpha character out of fear instead of acting organically outcome independent - that means not caring so much about losing her that you literally act like a dick beyond what's normal. You were dependent on the outcome of her respecting you so she wouldn't leave, which isn't a gymnastic necessary if you're fully secure and willing to let things take their course. Where are the other options?

[–]throwaway11443553 points54 points  (0 children) | Copy

This 100%. That's how you get a false rape charge. There's a fine line between not giving a fuck and being a prick, and you crossed it at the worst time.

[–]Cryptomineand6912 points13 points  (19 children) | Copy

I don’t know how else I could’ve handled the situation. She was legitimately pissing me off.

[–]Johnnybeachboy87 points88 points  (15 children) | Copy

Not every girl is going to be on her A game. Honestly she sounds like a nice girl to invite you to the waterpark and then even toughed it out to come over after getting sunburn. Ever have sunburn? It hurts.

Should've just taken the bullet and spent some time with her doing something else. I literally took a break from sex to go get McDonalds with an ex. We had alot of fun and the mood was back on.

[–]Cryptomineand6925 points26 points  (13 children) | Copy

Yeah maybe you’re right. I still feel shitty about what I did and it’s why I took the time to make this post. I’m not gunna apologize but maybe I’ll take her out to dinner or something because she is really sweet.

[–]Johnnybeachboy12 points13 points  (10 children) | Copy

Are you trying to date her?

[–]Cryptomineand6933 points34 points  (3 children) | Copy

Right now I just want to keep her as a plate but maybe down the line since we really hit it off and get along. She annoyed me last night but after re reading my post I realize I was unnecessarily being a huge assshole

[–]Johnnybeachboy29 points30 points  (0 children) | Copy

Don't take her to dinner yet, go out and do something you'd both enjoy. Keep it casual but also give her the idea you do give a shit about her without directly saying it.

[–]MarkJohnPaul12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

Look bro I read some of the stuff you say...don't try to make it up to her, don't apologize...if she hits you up again you're in the clear...if not you went a bit too far.

Just understand that a part of being RP and being that guy she looks up to, admires, and all that other leader of the group shit is not abusing the power you have.

[–]silent_dominant0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

she annoyed you because she made you feel insecure about the situation, so you lashed out at her.

More "DGAF" next time.

Don't take her out to dinner, let her know you'll be at 'x' place at 'y' time and she can come if she wants (go out with friends or whatever, something YOU enjoy). If she shows up, reward her with attention.

If she doesn't, move on.

[–]the_Milkweed-1 points0 points  (5 children) | Copy

LOL this guy has hidden oneitis

[–]psychoduckly0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

No, hes just easily manipulated. That's why she fucked and massaged Chad at the beach, and was worn out by the time she got to OP's place. That wasn't sunscreen that he tasted!

[–]throwawaybpdnpd-2 points-1 points  (3 children) | Copy

If he did, he would’ve NEVER acted this way; you’re wrong.

[–]the_Milkweed2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Read all his replies, you have no idea what you're talking about.

[–]throwawaybpdnpd-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

I did read every single answer, someone who has oneitis would have stayed and comforted her when crying instead of telling her she’s annoying and leaving

If you read all his replies and still think he’s got OII, you need to learn about what oneitis makes men do because this isn’t it; AT ALL

[–]Onidramon-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Oneitis isn’t only limited to needy beta behavior demonstrated in the girl’s presence. It counts for how much free space the girl rents in the guy’s head when they’re apart too

[–]kankouillotte3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I understand you mate, I know you werent an ass just to be "the man", and that she just bored you with her strange behavior and you just wanted to do something else.

Your only "error" I'd say is when she was visibly very negatively impacted that you were leaving, you could still have went to see your friends, but you should have taken some time to give some comfort AND arrange next meeting with her, plan something cool she can look forward to.

anyway, the world hasn't ended, and you'll do better next time

[–]psychoduckly-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Don't let her know that you feel bad. Don't be so anxious to make up for what you did. You weren't the asshole, you are just more sensitive than the normal male. Im betting that when she announced that sex was off the table, she either giggled or said it in an accusatory tone.

She double crossed you. She paid the price for her own treachery. It hurts because you are not used to punishing those who abuse you, for whom you have strong affection. Now, you know how Ward felt when he punished the Beaver.

Understand that how you respond now will set the pattern for the future, when she manipulates you again.

Btw, maybe her lack of enthusiasm was because Chad had already fucked her to exhaustion at the beach when she was getting sunburned.

[–]psychoduckly0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Fuck you and your sunburn! Of course they hurt. Everybody on Earth knows that, and your restating the obvious only distracts from the main. She double crossed him. Evr been double crossed? It hurts. AND burns!

BTW, the above "fuck you" isn't meant for you, more for the concept.

[–]ElOweTea1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You could have gone out to the club with friends and left her at your place to find later.

[–]screenmagnet0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Why were you so annoyed by her behaviour? Did her lack of enthusiasm make you feel rejected? Did you feel deceived (she used sex as an excuse to come over, when what she really wanted was to spend time with you)? Are you afraid she’s losing sexual interest in you?

Something obviously upset you enough to make you overreact in the moment. Try to figure out what it was.

[–]legend50328 points29 points  (19 children) | Copy

Why do you force sex when both of you clearly are not into it? Sounds desperate. Not abundance.

Just enjoy the evening and don't put yourself in those situations

[–]leotard-princess29 points30 points  (15 children) | Copy

Yeah. It would have been way more alpha to say - you know what - you look like you're really burned. Why not sit down (commanding) - stay still (compliant for frame) and I'm going to give you a massage with after sun (no refusal - she is obedient).

Having an abundance mentality doesn't mean you have to eat every single shrimp at the buffet.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (2 children) | Copy

or send her the fuck home as soon as she showed up tired

[–]the_Milkweed2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

the true alpha move, dont stick your dick in a bitch just because its fuckin open for you. Some desperate ass shit.

[–]psychoduckly2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

This. Im too lazy to look, but, isnt this the first time this was mentioned on this supposedly Red Pill thread???? If so, smh at you all.

[–]psychoduckly3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Most alpha woulda said "You look sick Ill call you an ambulance. If you need a ride home from the hospital, I'll give you a ride if Im available."

[–]legend5032 points3 points  (6 children) | Copy

Yeah...

I can't see how it's abundance when you're stressing over every single one

[–]leotard-princess-3 points-2 points  (5 children) | Copy

Yeah and are we so simian that we have to be fuck, fuck, fuck all the time? I personally would have had her fall to sleep in my arms. Gone to bed. And then when she was waking up (in the sweet morning sunshine), kissed her gently and whispered in her ear before going down and making her squeal with ecstacy at the end of my tongue before pinning her ankles up on my shoulders and fucking the living goddess out of her.

But you know that's just me. I'm an amateur in the world of love.

[–]pyth0ns1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Funny, but people don't understand full sarcasm and/or do not like trolling here.

End your statement with /S

[–]leotard-princess0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I seriously do see myself as an amateur. I think for me when all these dudes are professing mastery, amused or not, then that's when they get themselves in the state where they're sending girls home for not giving them enough respect or some bullshit that reeks of low self esteem.

[–]the_Milkweed0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

you sound retarded

[–]leotard-princess-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

I probably am next to a god level intellect like your own.

[–]psychoduckly-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

And, you could be a pro in the cuck world.

Oh, btw, you forgot the flowers and chocolate, you Playa, you!

[–]MisterRoid0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

That's just pathetic.

[–]leotard-princess-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy

Yeah you're right. Imagine what a weakling I must be to show a woman a little tenderness. Thank god you're here to put me straight :)

[–]MisterRoid0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Nothing wrong with showing tenderness in itself, but it's pathetic to do so when the girl is not in a submissive mood. You can't reward bad attitude like that, whether it's because she broke a leg or her mother died. You are just shitting yourself now pretending giving a massage makes you dominant. Just like the girls telling themselves they are acting dominant by sucking dick since they control the guy's pleasure, lol.

[–]leotard-princess0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If I give a massage then it doesn't make me dominant. I'm dominant because I'm dominant. I don't need external actions nor the consent of others to tell me that.

So therefore if I give a massage. It's a dominant massage.

[–]theredsperg6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy

most people are here because they're not getting laid therefore getting any piece of pussy they can get their hands on.

[–]legend5030 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Why does common sense go out the window?

He basically raped himself so he could get a lay to brag and write about.

I'm all for learning more about relationships and personal development regardless of level. But Jesus....

[–]leotard-princess0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

They perhaps dear sir they have not done the decent thing and read the sidebar?

[–][deleted]  (16 children) | Copy

[removed]

[–]mravek53 points54 points  (3 children) | Copy

She didn't shit test you bro, she was probably just tired. Don't mix shit test and tired people. Most people here think that women are sex machines, like it or not, girls CAN BECOME TIRED during a long day. Know difference between a girl who gives you attitude and a girl who is plain exhausted.

After posts like this I can very clearly see why sex dolls became so popular among men.

EDIT: Think more with your brain, less with your dick.

[–][deleted]  (2 children) | Copy

[removed]

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy

[removed]

[–]Johnnybeachboy22 points23 points  (1 child) | Copy

Honestly, it surprises me how people here wouldn't think this. People always complain about dead bedrooms and there's a girl who's putting on her absolute best, unasked. Ideally I'd like that in a partner.

[–]psychoduckly3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Her best?? Holy shit, if you think bait-and-switch is somebody's "absolute best"...this defies words.

[–]second-last-mohican5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Also doggy for 30 minutes... boring.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (7 children) | Copy

You're creating a covert contract. He didn't owe her anything.

[–]JimmyTheIntern26 points27 points  (5 children) | Copy

It's just such an insane move to me. Maybe because I don't like clubs and really like sleeping with cute girls, but why would you ever get dressed and go to the club instead of just staying in bed with the cute girl? And she's literally crying in your arms as the car's coming to pick her up and you're still like "naw bitch, it's almost midnight. time to hit the club with my bros."

How do you even fuck up that bad?

[–]psychoduckly0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You ever had a date?

[–][deleted] -3 points-2 points  (2 children) | Copy

I think its badass

[–]BloodSurgery0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

What aspect of it?

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

keeping frame while she's bawling

[–]MarkJohnPaul1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

What’s the covert contract?

[–]VojvodaSrpski0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Why shouldn’t he go to the club if that’s what he wanted to do? And why the hell should he reward a girl for a tiny bit of good behaviour? Are we supposed to act like algorithms (every time girl behaves = you reward her).

Good behavior should be expected and a norm if you have abundance mentality. You don't owe her a damn thing.

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy

[removed]

[–]Endorsed Contributorleftajar9 points10 points  (9 children) | Copy

The reason you felt that way, is you attributed to her a LACK OF AGENCY.

She looked visibly confused as to what was going on and I could see her hamster wheel begin to spin.

BULL FUCKING SHIT. She knew what she was doing. She knew that she was bringing you shitty effort and a bad attitude.

But she did it anyway.

Why?

Because she wants to see if she can get away with disrespecting you. That was a SHIT TEST. (Yes, sex can sometimes be a shit test.)

You should NOT ONLY have ZERO sympathy for this bitch, you should be DISDAINFUL of her. (NOT resentful; resentful is too much emotional investment.)

Every bitch knows what she's doing 100% of the time, even if she doesn't realize it.

Where you fucked up, was not instantly calling her out. The moment she refused a massage, kick her the fuck out. You didn't, so she felt she could up the ante by doing starfish sex. Next time, hold boundaries.

[–]ModTheRedPike4 points5 points  (4 children) | Copy

^ ^ ^ TRP 101

[–]Endorsed Contributorleftajar2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

Seriously. Flabbergasted that nobody else called this situation out.

[–]GayLemon90007 points8 points  (2 children) | Copy

Why is the only good answer buried under white knight trash? I'm sorry but aren't most comment threads here breaking the rules of answering from a RP perspective? I was looking forward to reading the comments as a similar issue was happening to me last week and wanted a different perspective but instead all I got is moralizing trash justifying the girl using a bait and switch tactic to get free attention.

[–]Endorsed Contributorleftajar3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

You'll notice that none of these other morons are endorsed. So, the system is, to some extent, working as intended.

That being said, the sheer number of upvotes these dumb comments are getting, though... total blind leading the blind situation.

[–]GayLemon90001 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah, I had to dig too deep for the EC comments to my liking, but you guys did give me some insight on a very similar situation I had (got baited with a massage too). I guess it's mostly a thankless job... but thanks anyways, you're doing good work helping dummies like me becoming better men.

[–]Cryptomineand691 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

This makes the most sense. I compromised frame to get a nut when she refused the massage. This led to the shit sex. If I had offered to kick her out initially we probably would’ve fucked like monkeys as normal.

Oh well. Live and you learn. Thanks for bringing me back to earth.

[–]Endorsed Contributorleftajar1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Correct interpretation, my dude. You'd be amazed how quickly correct behavior re-asserts itself when you pass a shit test.

[–]throwawayok2727284920 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Wouldn’t the right move had been to just call the whole thing off at the start instead of accepting a bad deal and regretting it after?

[–]Endorsed Contributorleftajar0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That's exactly what I said.

She didn't start displaying bad attitude until she showed up. Refusing the massage is the test, which he failed.

[–]WoodWizzy8714 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy

This whole paragraph just screamed “ me, me, me, me,”. You still got inner frame to deal with instead of playing the dickhead card

[–]LayTheUnicorn16 points17 points  (0 children) | Copy

she invited you too do something fun you declined (cool thats on you). she proceeds to go and have fun and then she likes you enough to come back and sun burn (you laughed and joked) so get out of here with the bullshit (of i'm naturally kind or caring) you just wanted to fuck be honest. you believed her expectations about a massage, something you would have got had you probably gone to the water park. you have very weak frame because you cared more about getting respect. now your crying and blaming her in the title "she deserved it". no she didn't. everything that happened was your fault. you acted like a fucking classic nice guy and now your just trying to justify your actions. read this book it will help you No more mr nice guy keep reading the side bar and then you'll be more red pilled and hopefully handle these situations way better.

[–]wiz-ymcmb17 points18 points  (3 children) | Copy

This is how you get accused of rape or #metoo. I’d be more careful next time.

[–]Cryptomineand699 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy

I’m in South America it’s not really in the culture to do that here.

[–]silent_dominant0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Not yet, but maybe in 5-10 years it will be, and the girl won't have forgotten by then...

[–]Prometheus4440 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Clearly missing the point...

[–][deleted]  (9 children) | Copy

[deleted]

[–]tom-anonymous13 points14 points  (6 children) | Copy

Call her and apologize or something if it bothers you so much.

Jesus. OP don't listen to this guy. I can't believe this got upvoted 28 times. I can't take some of the responses here in TRP. I'm sticking with MRP.

[–]SemiLoquacious2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I mean, there's no real right answer at this point.

Op, don't say "Im sorry." You pull a Bill Clinton and say something like "mistakes were made." Or "I was wrong to..." You only say "I'm sorry " if she's a wife and you only get to say it once so it had better count.

[–]the_Milkweed3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Honestly this sub/thread is sounding more simpy by the day

[–][deleted]  (3 children) | Copy

[deleted]

[–]tom-anonymous6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy

If I punch my grandmother I would definitely apologize, because it’s not the same thing. WTF is this? PurplePillDebate? Straw man.

Never apologize to a woman. If you ever find the urge to apologize, you stop yourself. At best you tell her “I don’t like the way I acted the other day - this isn’t me, and it won’t happen again”. THEN MOVE ON LIKE IT DIDN’T HAPPEN AND RESET.

Actions speak louder than words when it comes to women. Apologies are for simps who think magic words will fix everything. Learn this now.

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy

[deleted]

[–]tom-anonymous2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Dude.. your post history is sad. Hope you’re doing well.

My post history is very sad. I would even go as far as pathetic. However this doesn't cancel out the lessons I learned over the past 12 months. The consequences of my blue pilled faggot life during a 20 year marriage. I used to agree with you about apologizing. Now I believe in resetting. Always reset when you fuck up. Apologies give comfort at your expense. Action gives comfort with respect.

If OP keeps doing this, shame on him. It means he keeps losing his frame over and over because deep down inside the fact he didn't get a massage seemed to ruin his night.

The sad fact is OP will probably gain 100 points in this girls mind because she now see's him as a man with abundance. If she see's him standing up and taking no bullshit from her, then she see's a man who will do that to anyone in life. Two things can be true at once. She can hate the way he treated her. She can also become more attracted to him as a result.

I don't see him gaining points by apologizing. Agree to disagree brother. Take care.

[–]MisterRoid0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

You should never apologize. If you accidentally killed someone it might be justified, but otherwise not.

[–]MarkJohnPaul6 points7 points  (4 children) | Copy

Why were you so pissed?

[–]cracksniffer6666 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy

Yeah, this was you just being a douche and justifying it with being "crazy based/red pilled."

Nah man, you know better than this, hopefully.

[–]psychoduckly1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I bet you spend a substantial amount of your income on flowers, don't you.

[–]cracksniffer6661 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Hahaha, I've never bought flowers in my life, I've just been an asshole forever. My reputation is so shitty by now, I just try not to make unnessecary waves.. Being a douchebag is just as worthless as being a feminist. I guess some dudes are insecure about themselves so being a douche thinks they mean they're "alpha."

I may have some bad news for you today..

[–]TRP VanguardHumanSockPuppet5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Indifference Game has got you the plate. Now you must use Control Game to teach her how to please you. Give her specific instructions and reward obedience.

If she disobeys, it will be much easier to not feel sorry for her because she will be the one instigating.

See my Guide to Training Bitches and my Guide to Managing Bitches in the main side bar.

[–]the_Milkweed4 points5 points  (5 children) | Copy

I am going to (from what I can tell) give you a bit of perspective I have yet to read in this thread. You're feeling bad about a dog acting like a dog, metaphorically speaking of course.

You feeling bad for her crying is essentially you white knighting yourself. You legit have no reason to feel bad, by feeling bad you quite literally fell into her trap. Its like being in a boxing match, and the opponent is insulting you and trying to get you angry. And then you end up feeling bad for knocking him out. Like what? Its as if you know this but then describe how it ruined your night.

I personally believe there is more to this story, you probably like her a lot more than you are telling us. But that post nut clarity helped you realize shes a useless starfish hoe.

You dont block out "blue pill", its a conditioning, you recondition yourself to not be a loser and to not base your life around the tears of a girl who could barely keep her end of a promise.

[–]Cryptomineand690 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

I do like her and she started to realize this which is why she was shit testing me.

[–]the_Milkweed2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

I don't think its that complex, women are fairly simple creatures once you figure out what they're up to. Yes she was shit testing you, but in this case I can imagine she wasn't as aware of it as you might think. She probably likes you too, and you have clearly given her signs you like her too. So you're begin a woman about it and giving her mixed signals. Which is not red pill in the slightest, unless you're strictly gaming the girl. Which you clearly are not because you've said you liked her more than 20 times in this whole thread.

You're spinning this plate poorly, I honestly see you having two options. Commit to her because you like her and shes willing to be there for you, and you can stop being a whiny bitch about dumb shit. Or you soft next and work on your damn self because you dont have clear boundaries with your own mind. Pick a side because you're playing too many fronts, and with a single girl! my god. I had less problems like this when I was dating two girls at the same time.

Legit, either you like her enough to date her, or you like her enough to next her. Imo there is no other option because you've already fucked the dynamic by being a pendulum

[–]Cryptomineand690 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I’m gunna keep spinning plates because I’m not ready for an ltr. I need to improve my frame and self significantly or else an ltr would just be a waste of my time and be doomed from the start.

[–]the_Milkweed1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I agree completely

[–]psychoduckly0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You're getting smarter.

[–]gyunbie3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Well she packed her backpack to stay with you but instead of enjoying the sex, she just lay there like a corpse? One minute before she was thinking "is this guy bold?" and shittesting you, a minute later she is crying. I think you did well here because she deserved this kind of attitude. Don't overthink it.

[–]tom-anonymous3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Action wise I think you did everything perfectly. You let you know your time is valuable and won't be wasted on bull shit. She will either correct her behavior because you stood up for yourself, or she'll continue shit testing you until you had it with her. Either case it good for you.

I do find it humorous she felt comfortable enough to do this so early. The 2 of you aren't even in an LTR. She must be used to guys letting her get away with this.

Good job, and don't feel bad about it. Your time is valuable.

[–]psychoduckly-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

This. I'll also bet Chad rogered her roundly while at the beach.

[–]__TheDon__1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I had a similar situation before. Had a plate drive across the state expecting to spend the night. I implied that it was cool. She came over, we chilled, watched a movie, she blew me and I busted. It was a Saturday night, and Sunday morning is holy to me. I like to wake up, and pig out (cheat day) all alone while watching TV. I ended up tell her that something came up in the morning, and I can’t have her spend the night. She goes sleeps at her cousins house that is 10 mins away from mine. Sunday comes, I have another date set with a potential plate. I get texts and calls from the plate while I am out with the potential. As you can probably tell by now, this plate broke rather quickly (lasted 3 months). I was TOO much of an asshole to her, and for no reason.

Moral of the story, don’t mistake being redpilled with being an asshole. The saying “girls like assholes” is bullshit. Girls like CONFIDENT guys who put themselves first, and everything else after that. Too many dudes confuse the two, and I was definitely one of them.

[–]psychoduckly1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

YOU WERE THE VICTIM!

I can't understand all of these dipshts giving you the guilt for what you did. She pulled the classic Bait-and-Switch Con. There is a reason that it is illegal.

She promised you a massage. Then showed tits, implying sex. Then, she shows up wanting to be all babied, saying, "Cuddle me! Oh, BTW, go get your fucking massage and sex elsewhere. And, I like juice with my breakfast!"

What you did wasn't being an asshole, it was Tough Love. The reason it's called "Tough" isn't because you are being an asshole, but, because it's tough on you and you feel that way for DOING THE RIGHT THING.

Here s the long and short of it: Before she came over, she should have told you that she wasn't going to deliver on her promise, and that she was expecting to be treated like royalty.

[–]liquorbaron1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You didn't get shit tests. She was probably actually tired if she was as sunburned as you say. Where you fucked up is that you pressed for half-assed, mediocre sex and then immediately bailed. That sorta thing leads to false rape if the woman is vengeful.

When she came over and you saw that she wasn't going to give you a massage and she was visibly drained and burnt you should have had her stay around for a short bit and then said in a sympathetic voice, "You're exhausted, tired, and in obvious pain. I'm just going to get you an Uber and you can go home and get some needed rest. We'll do this another time."

[–]Cientocincuenta1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You don't want less empathy, you want more self respect.

Think as a referee. He doestn't have less empathy for a player by giving him a red card, if that player made a bad enough foul. Thinking otherwise is cheating yourself. Most girls know this instinctively.

Your life is one and finite. Share it with people who you deem worthy.

[–]2319Skew3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Here's what's really fucked up. You've made her want you more. You're only human and it's ok to feel things. It's how you act based on it that defines you as a man.

But if it helps, try to remember that the same girl that loves you so much right now is the same woman that would kick you in the curb in 3 months because and not even bat an eyelash.

[–]handybh892 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You sound like a great guy...

[–]WiterS21 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

If you ever had sisters, you know how manipulative and false are their crocodile tears.

Next time tell to her to do something for you, and you meet her again.

[–]vorgriff0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Dude never get rid of ur empathy. This world doesn't have enough of it. Sometimes u gotta do things that aren't gonna "feel" good, but to protect urself will be necessary. That doesn't mean u should stop feeling.

[–]VigilantSmartbomb0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It’s more about what you wanted out of the altercation and how to get there. If you want her completely submissive sure, but it comes with costs like have feeling dread. It’s a fickle game but learn to control your power too, they trust you.

[–]Self-honest0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You just say “I have some friends I have to go meet up with”

Keep it simple

[–]PolesWithGoals0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Read “the subtle art of not giving a fuck”

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Lmao u cold bastard. Idk man but that shit was ice.

[–]Billuman0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Look at the bright side, you've been an asshole. Now she won't be a dick to you.

[–]Cryptomineand691 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah I still feel kinda of bad. A year ago I wouldn’t have done this but it’s actually really interesting that it worked.

[–]DouglasPR0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Not speaking only of the situation of the post, but, in my experience, if the girl is not enthusiastic in kissing and foreplay, just stop, dont go ahead. The sex will be lame and you expose a flank to a "no means no" accusation later

[–]silent_dominant0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I think the night would've gone better if you just said something like:

"Thanks for stopping by but my friends asked to hang out with them later, is it okay fi I call you an uber home?"

Less agressive and gets the same shit done.

Gives her the idea that you're a busy person who's not waiting around to spend time with her, so next time she might try a bit harder to win you over.

Now you pretty kicked her in the proverbial nuts and you probably won't see her again.

Last tip, you might wanna work on your lovemaking skills. If a girls comes over to have sex with you, it shouldn't be too hard to actually get her turned on. Now she had sex because she felt like she owed it to you, not because she wanted your dick inside her. From what I can tell by your story, you should've done some more push-pull to get her actually interested.

[–]SubjectMedia20 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

None of you guys ever had a girl come over and be a complete bitch? It really sucks.

I had a plate come over and start criticizing me for a random stray sock on the floor, telling me I have too much beer in the fridge I need to quit drinking, and giving shit tests about everything. It kills the mood then they still want to fuck.

Then you tell em no you’re not in the mood, and they get all rapey and keep trying to seduce you. The situation sucks, I’ve been in OP shoes and in retrospect I wish I had the balls to kick her out

[–]curlykalexx0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

lets think about this from her perspective.

she invited you to a waterpark, and you declined. afterwards, despite having a sunburn and feeling tired, she still decided to spend time with you. she brought a bag, as she was under the impression that she was staying the night.

after 20 minutes of “shitty foreplay”, you admit she said she was too tired to have sex. you ignored her request, and still fucked (if you can even call it that.. according to your story she didn’t consent). you described her as a “lifeless sex doll”, which i’d like to explain is a perfectly reasonable response to the situation you put her in. once you nutted, you left her to hang out with friends. this upset her and she cried.

you say you’re a naturally caring person but i don’t think you are.

[–]GushKaka0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Lol, OP you did what you wanted to do atm. You owed her nothing, and she knew she's coming only for sex. The session ended and you wanted to go to a club, ok nice man. I don't see any problem here.

[–]psychoduckly2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

The irony was, she WASN'T expecting sex...she was expecting to fool him with a promise of sex, but, not deliver.

[–]TripleDragons0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You acted like an entitled knob.

That you felt bad is probably your only saving grace here.

Being red pill and real about facts/stats doesn't mean integrity and respect are out the window dude.

[–]Vynxe-Vainglory0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Don’t strive for “less empathy”.

Be yourself.

If you actually feel something when she’s begging you not to go, let her know. If it’s true and it’s what you want, you aren’t breaking frame. If she’s annoying in the moment, tell her that. If she starts to get disrespectful, then you kick her out. That’s maintaining frame. Making up a tough guy act so that “she will still like you” is breaking frame imo. You succumbed to fear, unnecessarily made yourself the bad guy (which isn’t you), and caused mayhem in your wake.

Clean it up.

Just tell her the truth that you feel bad for making such swift judgement, etc and you were annoyed by her bs, but didn’t mean to be quite so heavy handed about it.

She will feel better, and probably come fuck you.

[–]ladyraven130 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Wow that's disturbing that you're asking how to have less empathy. I feel sorry for any women you encounter in the future. Either that or this is a shitpost.

[–]theredsperg1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Most people want to learn to not care, mainly because of the contradictory posts here.

[–]psychoduckly-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

... said the woman.

[–]CainPrice0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

All relationships are temporary and no specific woman is special. Treating a woman the way you did doesn't matter.

Men treat women with kid gloves because they're afraid of losing them.

When you recognize that whatever you have with a woman is temporary anyway, and is forever one text message away from vanishing (if either one of you even bothers to send the text), and that there are millions of other women out there, and that you can get another one of those women pretty easily, you start to treat women appropriately. Not necessarily badly. Just appropriately. You stop bending over backward and being deferential to her out of fear of losing her.

Just not being afraid of losing a woman is enough to send them into a shit-fit. And it drives them crazy. They keep coming back.

[–]Thinkingard0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If the sex was truly lame then you were probably upset about that the most and how it forced you to confront it. You gotta drop the nuke on her before you nut. Otherwise she doesn’t know she’s misbehaving. If she’s a plate then she’s a plate for good sex nothing else. She’s not going to tolerate weak sex from a beta so why should you tolerate it? Next her.

[–]MisterRoid0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That was harsh, but based on her actions the gamble paid off and she will be more inclined to please you the next time. Forgive her and give her another chance. Needless to say you should not act apologetic over this.

[–]GearaltofRivia-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

I skimmed most of your post. To be honest I would be afraid of sexual assault allegations

[–]throwawaybpdnpd-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

I can’t stand this sub no more, what the F* has happened?!

Full of BP morons who think acting like an ass and not caring at all is what TRP is about, IT IS NOT.

TRP is about using social dynamics’ knowledge to connect with women on an emotional level with pure honesty whilst staying in control and logical at all times

If you think it’s only about fucking as many chicks as you can while not caring at all, you aren’t RP you’re just an asshole

Being a strong alpha is all about having a big circle of high value women who sees you as both a leader (frame) AND a friend (connect)

If you can’t make them your friends, there’s a good chance you still feel anger/hate towards women

Source: I sleep with every women “friend” I have around me, on a regular basis

[–]throwaway69764-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah keep doing that if you want to get some of them dank false rape allegations, because well, what you're doing is the fastest way to get one.

[–]theredsperg-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

stop just fucking mindlessly then, you're only going to feel depressed and useless. fuck me, get some respect for yourself

[–]SemiLoquacious-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Well. Enjoy your false rape accusations.

If you're going to kick out a girl for being a bitch, YOU NEVER TELL HER WHY. You come up with a reason she can't say no to. You say, "I have four friends that have been at a wedding all day and they need a designated driver. I'll get you an uber,I have to go in a half hour."

"Why can't they get themselves an uber?"

"They might not. I want to make sure they get home safely."

You might even add "ill hit you up tomorrow, there's a waterpark in Springfield we can check out."

Girls ain't stupid. If you're not talking to her or making excuses to get her out of her apartment then she'll figure out on her own it's because she was being a bitch. If she isn't a wife, or isn't on the path to become a wife, you don't directlly call her out on stuff because that could be equal to abuse in her mind.

[–]bittr_n_swt-4 points-3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Be careful man, don’t want a false rape accusation. She sounds crazy



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2021. All rights reserved.

created by /u/dream-hunter