Feel really guilty about kicking girl out after sex even though she deserved it. How to have less empathy?

quickdrawmccaw · 2020-01-27T05:06:21+00:00

Being redpill, truly redpill, has nothing to do with being an asshole. A lot of guys that don’t really understand it think it’s just about being a jerkoff and bragging about slamming 4s. It’s not.

The true red pill male isn’t the toughest guy in the room. He’s the smartest guy in the room. To be rp isn’t about how big of a jerk you can be. It’s about controlling the script of the night, and on a larger scale, your life. Being in control. That’s what it’s about. Just like lifting, reading, and many other things preached in TRP, being an ass is merely a tool used to control or manipulate a given situation. To me it sounds like you were using a hammer for a job more fit for a screwdriver.

That’s all I’ve got for you.

Onidramon · 2020-01-27T03:34:28+00:00

Empathy isn't bluepill, being a bitch and supplicating for the sake of an outcome is bluepill. You overshot an alpha character out of fear instead of acting organically outcome independent - that means not caring so much about losing her that you literally act like a dick beyond what's normal. You were dependent on the outcome of her respecting you so she wouldn't leave, which isn't a gymnastic necessary if you're fully secure and willing to let things take their course. Where are the other options?

legend503 · 2020-01-27T08:09:32+00:00

Why do you force sex when both of you clearly are not into it? Sounds desperate. Not abundance.

Just enjoy the evening and don't put yourself in those situations

mravek · 2020-01-27T04:40:39+00:00

[removed]

2020-01-27T06:12:25+00:00

[removed]

leftajar · 2020-01-27T19:40:34+00:00

The reason you felt that way, is you attributed to her a LACK OF AGENCY.

She looked visibly confused as to what was going on and I could see her hamster wheel begin to spin.

BULL FUCKING SHIT. She knew what she was doing. She knew that she was bringing you shitty effort and a bad attitude.

But she did it anyway.

Why?

Because she wants to see if she can get away with disrespecting you. That was a SHIT TEST. (Yes, sex can sometimes be a shit test.)

You should NOT ONLY have ZERO sympathy for this bitch, you should be DISDAINFUL of her. (NOT resentful; resentful is too much emotional investment.)

Every bitch knows what she's doing 100% of the time, even if she doesn't realize it.

Where you fucked up, was not instantly calling her out. The moment she refused a massage, kick her the fuck out. You didn't, so she felt she could up the ante by doing starfish sex. Next time, hold boundaries.

WoodWizzy87 · 2020-01-27T05:41:31+00:00

This whole paragraph just screamed “ me, me, me, me,”. You still got inner frame to deal with instead of playing the dickhead card

LayTheUnicorn · 2020-01-27T05:45:21+00:00

she invited you too do something fun you declined (cool thats on you). she proceeds to go and have fun and then she likes you enough to come back and sun burn (you laughed and joked) so get out of here with the bullshit (of i'm naturally kind or caring) you just wanted to fuck be honest. you believed her expectations about a massage, something you would have got had you probably gone to the water park. you have very weak frame because you cared more about getting respect. now your crying and blaming her in the title "she deserved it". no she didn't. everything that happened was your fault. you acted like a fucking classic nice guy and now your just trying to justify your actions. read this book it will help you No more mr nice guy keep reading the side bar and then you'll be more red pilled and hopefully handle these situations way better.

wiz-ymcmb · 2020-01-27T04:00:44+00:00

This is how you get accused of rape or #metoo. I’d be more careful next time.

tom-anonymous · 2020-01-27T05:56:16+00:00

[deleted]

MarkJohnPaul · 2020-01-27T04:10:15+00:00

Why were you so pissed?

cracksniffer666 · 2020-01-27T08:42:30+00:00

Yeah, this was you just being a douche and justifying it with being "crazy based/red pilled."

Nah man, you know better than this, hopefully.

HumanSockPuppet · 2020-01-27T14:10:47+00:00

Indifference Game has got you the plate. Now you must use Control Game to teach her how to please you. Give her specific instructions and reward obedience.

If she disobeys, it will be much easier to not feel sorry for her because she will be the one instigating.

See my Guide to Training Bitches and my Guide to Managing Bitches in the main side bar.

the_Milkweed · 2020-01-27T15:28:04+00:00

I am going to (from what I can tell) give you a bit of perspective I have yet to read in this thread. You're feeling bad about a dog acting like a dog, metaphorically speaking of course.

You feeling bad for her crying is essentially you white knighting yourself. You legit have no reason to feel bad, by feeling bad you quite literally fell into her trap. Its like being in a boxing match, and the opponent is insulting you and trying to get you angry. And then you end up feeling bad for knocking him out. Like what? Its as if you know this but then describe how it ruined your night.

I personally believe there is more to this story, you probably like her a lot more than you are telling us. But that post nut clarity helped you realize shes a useless starfish hoe.

You dont block out "blue pill", its a conditioning, you recondition yourself to not be a loser and to not base your life around the tears of a girl who could barely keep her end of a promise.

gyunbie · 2020-01-27T12:45:48+00:00

Well she packed her backpack to stay with you but instead of enjoying the sex, she just lay there like a corpse? One minute before she was thinking "is this guy bold?" and shittesting you, a minute later she is crying. I think you did well here because she deserved this kind of attitude. Don't overthink it.

tom-anonymous · 2020-01-27T14:38:17+00:00

Action wise I think you did everything perfectly. You let you know your time is valuable and won't be wasted on bull shit. She will either correct her behavior because you stood up for yourself, or she'll continue shit testing you until you had it with her. Either case it good for you.

I do find it humorous she felt comfortable enough to do this so early. The 2 of you aren't even in an LTR. She must be used to guys letting her get away with this.

Good job, and don't feel bad about it. Your time is valuable.

__TheDon__ · 2020-01-27T15:13:17+00:00

I had a similar situation before. Had a plate drive across the state expecting to spend the night. I implied that it was cool. She came over, we chilled, watched a movie, she blew me and I busted. It was a Saturday night, and Sunday morning is holy to me. I like to wake up, and pig out (cheat day) all alone while watching TV. I ended up tell her that something came up in the morning, and I can’t have her spend the night. She goes sleeps at her cousins house that is 10 mins away from mine. Sunday comes, I have another date set with a potential plate. I get texts and calls from the plate while I am out with the potential. As you can probably tell by now, this plate broke rather quickly (lasted 3 months). I was TOO much of an asshole to her, and for no reason.

Moral of the story, don’t mistake being redpilled with being an asshole. The saying “girls like assholes” is bullshit. Girls like CONFIDENT guys who put themselves first, and everything else after that. Too many dudes confuse the two, and I was definitely one of them.

psychoduckly · 2020-01-27T17:52:42+00:00

YOU WERE THE VICTIM!

I can't understand all of these dipshts giving you the guilt for what you did. She pulled the classic Bait-and-Switch Con. There is a reason that it is illegal.

She promised you a massage. Then showed tits, implying sex. Then, she shows up wanting to be all babied, saying, "Cuddle me! Oh, BTW, go get your fucking massage and sex elsewhere. And, I like juice with my breakfast!"

What you did wasn't being an asshole, it was Tough Love. The reason it's called "Tough" isn't because you are being an asshole, but, because it's tough on you and you feel that way for DOING THE RIGHT THING.

Here s the long and short of it: Before she came over, she should have told you that she wasn't going to deliver on her promise, and that she was expecting to be treated like royalty.

liquorbaron · 2020-01-27T18:32:00+00:00

You didn't get shit tests. She was probably actually tired if she was as sunburned as you say. Where you fucked up is that you pressed for half-assed, mediocre sex and then immediately bailed. That sorta thing leads to false rape if the woman is vengeful.

When she came over and you saw that she wasn't going to give you a massage and she was visibly drained and burnt you should have had her stay around for a short bit and then said in a sympathetic voice, "You're exhausted, tired, and in obvious pain. I'm just going to get you an Uber and you can go home and get some needed rest. We'll do this another time."

Cientocincuenta · 2020-01-28T01:21:01+00:00

You don't want less empathy, you want more self respect.

Think as a referee. He doestn't have less empathy for a player by giving him a red card, if that player made a bad enough foul. Thinking otherwise is cheating yourself. Most girls know this instinctively.

Your life is one and finite. Share it with people who you deem worthy.

319Skew · 2020-01-27T07:13:23+00:00

Here's what's really fucked up. You've made her want you more. You're only human and it's ok to feel things. It's how you act based on it that defines you as a man.

But if it helps, try to remember that the same girl that loves you so much right now is the same woman that would kick you in the curb in 3 months because and not even bat an eyelash.

handybh89 · 2020-01-27T16:06:43+00:00

You sound like a great guy...

WiterS2 · 2020-01-27T12:04:28+00:00

If you ever had sisters, you know how manipulative and false are their crocodile tears.

Next time tell to her to do something for you, and you meet her again.

vorgriff · 2020-01-27T10:29:39+00:00

Dude never get rid of ur empathy. This world doesn't have enough of it. Sometimes u gotta do things that aren't gonna "feel" good, but to protect urself will be necessary. That doesn't mean u should stop feeling.

VigilantSmartbomb · 2020-01-27T12:17:32+00:00

It’s more about what you wanted out of the altercation and how to get there. If you want her completely submissive sure, but it comes with costs like have feeling dread. It’s a fickle game but learn to control your power too, they trust you.

Self-honest · 2020-01-27T14:04:36+00:00

You just say “I have some friends I have to go meet up with”

Keep it simple

PolesWithGoals · 2020-01-27T15:31:49+00:00

Read “the subtle art of not giving a fuck”

[deleted] · 2020-01-27T18:45:19+00:00

Lmao u cold bastard. Idk man but that shit was ice.

Billuman · 2020-01-27T18:51:35+00:00

Look at the bright side, you've been an asshole. Now she won't be a dick to you.

DouglasPR · 2020-01-27T19:03:09+00:00

Not speaking only of the situation of the post, but, in my experience, if the girl is not enthusiastic in kissing and foreplay, just stop, dont go ahead. The sex will be lame and you expose a flank to a "no means no" accusation later

silent_dominant · 2020-01-27T19:09:08+00:00

I think the night would've gone better if you just said something like:

"Thanks for stopping by but my friends asked to hang out with them later, is it okay fi I call you an uber home?"

Less agressive and gets the same shit done.

Gives her the idea that you're a busy person who's not waiting around to spend time with her, so next time she might try a bit harder to win you over.

Now you pretty kicked her in the proverbial nuts and you probably won't see her again.

Last tip, you might wanna work on your lovemaking skills. If a girls comes over to have sex with you, it shouldn't be too hard to actually get her turned on. Now she had sex because she felt like she owed it to you, not because she wanted your dick inside her. From what I can tell by your story, you should've done some more push-pull to get her actually interested.

SubjectMedia2 · 2020-01-29T17:14:34+00:00

None of you guys ever had a girl come over and be a complete bitch? It really sucks.

I had a plate come over and start criticizing me for a random stray sock on the floor, telling me I have too much beer in the fridge I need to quit drinking, and giving shit tests about everything. It kills the mood then they still want to fuck.

Then you tell em no you’re not in the mood, and they get all rapey and keep trying to seduce you. The situation sucks, I’ve been in OP shoes and in retrospect I wish I had the balls to kick her out

curlykalexx · 2020-01-30T01:31:52+00:00

lets think about this from her perspective.

she invited you to a waterpark, and you declined. afterwards, despite having a sunburn and feeling tired, she still decided to spend time with you. she brought a bag, as she was under the impression that she was staying the night.

after 20 minutes of “shitty foreplay”, you admit she said she was too tired to have sex. you ignored her request, and still fucked (if you can even call it that.. according to your story she didn’t consent). you described her as a “lifeless sex doll”, which i’d like to explain is a perfectly reasonable response to the situation you put her in. once you nutted, you left her to hang out with friends. this upset her and she cried.

you say you’re a naturally caring person but i don’t think you are.

GushKaka · 2020-01-27T06:33:13+00:00

Lol, OP you did what you wanted to do atm. You owed her nothing, and she knew she's coming only for sex. The session ended and you wanted to go to a club, ok nice man. I don't see any problem here.

TripleDragons · 2020-01-27T14:51:48+00:00

You acted like an entitled knob.

That you felt bad is probably your only saving grace here.

Being red pill and real about facts/stats doesn't mean integrity and respect are out the window dude.

Vynxe-Vainglory · 2020-01-27T10:14:40+00:00

Don’t strive for “less empathy”.

Be yourself.

If you actually feel something when she’s begging you not to go, let her know. If it’s true and it’s what you want, you aren’t breaking frame. If she’s annoying in the moment, tell her that. If she starts to get disrespectful, then you kick her out. That’s maintaining frame. Making up a tough guy act so that “she will still like you” is breaking frame imo. You succumbed to fear, unnecessarily made yourself the bad guy (which isn’t you), and caused mayhem in your wake.

Clean it up.

Just tell her the truth that you feel bad for making such swift judgement, etc and you were annoyed by her bs, but didn’t mean to be quite so heavy handed about it.

She will feel better, and probably come fuck you.

ladyraven13 · 2020-01-27T12:31:40+00:00

Wow that's disturbing that you're asking how to have less empathy. I feel sorry for any women you encounter in the future. Either that or this is a shitpost.

CainPrice · 2020-01-27T13:42:50+00:00

All relationships are temporary and no specific woman is special. Treating a woman the way you did doesn't matter.

Men treat women with kid gloves because they're afraid of losing them.

When you recognize that whatever you have with a woman is temporary anyway, and is forever one text message away from vanishing (if either one of you even bothers to send the text), and that there are millions of other women out there, and that you can get another one of those women pretty easily, you start to treat women appropriately. Not necessarily badly. Just appropriately. You stop bending over backward and being deferential to her out of fear of losing her.

Just not being afraid of losing a woman is enough to send them into a shit-fit. And it drives them crazy. They keep coming back.

Thinkingard · 2020-01-27T15:21:53+00:00

If the sex was truly lame then you were probably upset about that the most and how it forced you to confront it. You gotta drop the nuke on her before you nut. Otherwise she doesn’t know she’s misbehaving. If she’s a plate then she’s a plate for good sex nothing else. She’s not going to tolerate weak sex from a beta so why should you tolerate it? Next her.

MisterRoid · 2020-01-27T17:09:29+00:00

That was harsh, but based on her actions the gamble paid off and she will be more inclined to please you the next time. Forgive her and give her another chance. Needless to say you should not act apologetic over this.

[deleted] · 2020-01-27T04:30:25+00:00

What you did is fine. Kill the beta. You were entirely justified in doing what you did, and you know that too. Proof is that you wouldn't change your course of action even if you could.

This is a path toward the acceptance that sometimes, you gotta hurt dem feelz if you want to keep your best interest at heart.

GearaltofRivia · 2020-01-27T06:43:09+00:00

I skimmed most of your post. To be honest I would be afraid of sexual assault allegations

throwawaybpdnpd · 2020-01-27T16:38:54+00:00

I can’t stand this sub no more, what the F* has happened?!

Full of BP morons who think acting like an ass and not caring at all is what TRP is about, IT IS NOT.

TRP is about using social dynamics’ knowledge to connect with women on an emotional level with pure honesty whilst staying in control and logical at all times

If you think it’s only about fucking as many chicks as you can while not caring at all, you aren’t RP you’re just an asshole

Being a strong alpha is all about having a big circle of high value women who sees you as both a leader (frame) AND a friend (connect)

If you can’t make them your friends, there’s a good chance you still feel anger/hate towards women

Source: I sleep with every women “friend” I have around me, on a regular basis

throwaway69764 · 2020-01-27T05:52:58+00:00

Yeah keep doing that if you want to get some of them dank false rape allegations, because well, what you're doing is the fastest way to get one.

theredsperg · 2020-01-27T14:17:17+00:00

stop just fucking mindlessly then, you're only going to feel depressed and useless. fuck me, get some respect for yourself

SemiLoquacious · 2020-01-27T16:40:00+00:00

Well. Enjoy your false rape accusations.

If you're going to kick out a girl for being a bitch, YOU NEVER TELL HER WHY. You come up with a reason she can't say no to. You say, "I have four friends that have been at a wedding all day and they need a designated driver. I'll get you an uber,I have to go in a half hour."

"Why can't they get themselves an uber?"

"They might not. I want to make sure they get home safely."

You might even add "ill hit you up tomorrow, there's a waterpark in Springfield we can check out."

Girls ain't stupid. If you're not talking to her or making excuses to get her out of her apartment then she'll figure out on her own it's because she was being a bitch. If she isn't a wife, or isn't on the path to become a wife, you don't directlly call her out on stuff because that could be equal to abuse in her mind.

bittr_n_swt · 2020-01-27T07:59:12+00:00

Be careful man, don’t want a false rape accusation. She sounds crazy

Title	Feel really guilty about kicking girl out after sex even though she deserved it. How to have less empathy?
Author	Cryptomineand69
Upvotes	157
Comments	155
Date	27 January 2020 03:23 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	askTRP
Link	https://theredarchive.com/post/315757
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/eui1aa/feel_really_guilty_about_kicking_girl_out_after/