TheRedArchive needs help
With 700,000+ posts and 16,000,000+ comments archived, and new Red Pill content being added every week, keeping TheRedArchive alive and discoverable to everyone is starting to become very costly. As a 20-year-old student who just moved out and is living independently for the first time, keeping TheRedArchive alive is beginning to cost me much more than I thought.

Therefore, if you appreciate the website, have gained a lot of knowledge and insight from it, and want to show your appreciation, you can do so by donating any amount that you want via the options below. The money will be used on the expensive monthly host bill and any future maintenance of the website.
Thank you, and I wish you all a successful 2021 and a good luck with achieving your goals and dreams!

Best, /u/dream-hunter

Enough on how to get girls, how do i get good guy friends?

Reddit View
December 20, 2016
92 upvotes

TRP advices have helped me fuck a buffet of girls so far. But when it comes to making guy friends(no I am not gay) i am absolutely horrible. Kind of hard to admit but I am a beta cuck when it comes to forming good friendships with guys. I always end up investing myself fully with no gain and I do not wish to hang out with girls for the rest of my life. Are guys to be handled exactly like girls? I am not sure.


Post Information
Title Enough on how to get girls, how do i get good guy friends?
Author jjohaann
Upvotes 92
Comments 50
Date 20 December 2016 04:10 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/318
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/5je1de/enough_on_how_to_get_girls_how_do_i_get_good_guy/
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
betacuckthe red pill
Comments

[–]TRP VanguardArchwinger115 points116 points  (20 children) | Copy

You know that emotional connection and common interests bullshit you tried to forge with women back before you knew better? That shit actually works with guys.

[–][deleted] 35 points36 points  (3 children) | Copy

To an extent. Neediness is never attractive.

But good point nonetheless.

[–]ROFLME 11 points11 points [recovered] | Copy

If a friend is vulnerable I don't think any less of him, women will however.

[–]theredpill2221 points22 points  (1 child) | Copy

Same here. I respect a man more when he is honest. One friend of mine told me point blank that he had to postpone his exams because of depression / stress. My respect for him went up 10 fold, because it takes balls to admit that to a fellow man. I've been struggling with clinical depression all my life and I have nothing but respect for any man who is also fighting it.

Unfortunately it seems many people don't share my view and it would take me a long time and a lot of built up trust (likely years) to ever admit weakness to another man irl.

[–]waylandertheslayer9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

There's also a huge difference between admitting a vulnerability to a close friend, and openly shouting about all your personal and private problems. The first one should be met with understanding and respect, the second with dismissal.

[–]TomFoo9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Made me chuckle because it's true.

[–]gerwig3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

Kind of, but it seems like so many guys are emotionally closed off to other men because they don't want to seem gay.

[–]TRP VanguardArchwinger16 points17 points  (1 child) | Copy

Love isn't the only emotion, you know. Lots of guys get excited and passionate about the same things. Lots of guys get angry about the same things.

Emotional connection isn't limited to big hugs and caring for each other like you would for a chick.

You just need to learn how to interact with men like a man. And don't buy into the feminist bullshit that masculinity is some kind of fake machismo mask that men wear because we're all afraid of being called gay.

Masculinity is the real deal. Men who suppress their masculinity to try to fit in are the ones wearing masks.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

well said bro!

[–]vorverk2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

I disagree. Men bond by teasing, competition, play, humour etc. Pedestalizing, writing poems, taking them to movies and buying them dinners is gay.

[–]TRP VanguardArchwinger8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

There are more emotions out there than love. Guys who are excited, passionate, or angry about the same things can bond. Emotional connection isn't all about hugs and dates.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ianwood just had some health issues but he does lay out male social groups fairly well here, to add to archwingers bit here

[–][deleted] 3 points3 points | Copy

[permanently deleted]

[–]1grubek0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Does it? Or is just you being high in your beta delusion?

[–][deleted] 6 points6 points | Copy

[permanently deleted]

[–]ValhallaShores5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Quick- downvote him, he's not snorting blow off hookers asses and occasionally enjoys the company of women!

I don't think it's beta delusion if you can draw a line, and from the "nexted them" comment, it sounds like you can. X-files/fuckfest on.

[–]jjohaann[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Tried and it doesn't work.

[–]TRP VanguardArchwinger9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

With guys, you can honestly say that you just didn't meet the right dudes yet, then. Keep trying and you'll find someone you gel with.

[–]rajesh81620 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Not bluepill guys. There are many around me. That's what OP is getting at here I think.

[–]TRP VanguardArchwinger4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Most loser men are actually uncomfortable around other men. Because they're feminine.

[–]1grubek30 points31 points  (3 children) | Copy

Men build friendship through doing together. Women can sit down and talk and socialize, they can build friendships by talking.

We men can get together to talk but rarely good friendship will come of that. We bond better when we have a common purpose, when we do shit. That is why people here recommend joining a gym or a sport group.

[–][deleted] 6 points6 points | Copy

[permanently deleted]

[–]JackGetsIt1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is such a wonderful observation. Women are by their nature very very skeptical of talk. Which is why they may feign interest but will flake or cheat if you aren't offering something significant. I think this is also why the 'plant the seed' method of courting women is so powerful. Plant the seed that you dig her but show know other interest and work on demonstrating social status and other traits. Then come around and harvest that seed that she's been turning into a full on lust plant for you. Women don't flake on men they've built up in their mind as 'right' for them. They will in fact do almost anything to jump your bones. You can even use this method in microcosm. You get to a club/bar/scene early. Chat with lots of different women and then leave, move around and come back and see if anything is growing.

[–]Thizzlebot3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

We bond better when we have a common purpose, when we do shit.

Yeah for real, go play golf or something and tell me you don't feel closer with your homies after.

[–]AwakenedSovereign15 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy

Mutual interests and personality. Find guys who want to do things that you are also interested in. Be that drinking beer at the local trivia bar Thursday nights, or playing disc golf in the park.

After basic mutual interest is established, friendship is a question of your personalities meshing. Easy to talk to, fun to hang out with, masculine & active, doing shit with their lives, etc.

[–]akeelbashir12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

Mutual interests man. That how I've met all my friends. Be it music, whatever. I find one thing in common with them we tend to have others.

[–]partdopy7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Just go do stuff. Talk to people, coworkers, people at the bar, etc.... You get better at it by doing it. Eventually someone will ask if you want to go do something, mountain biking, go to a baseball game, a shooting range after work. Just say yes and don't act like a knob. Done.

To make it simple - 1) Talk to everyone 2) Accept all invitations (as long as its not something you honestly hate)

[–]anon1moos12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

Men worth having around are not easily gamed.

[–]RXRob2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

From my own experiences, most of my friends have come from hobbies and sports. I'd say that Blood Bowl, wrestling, rugby, scouts, church and pub quizzes make up 95% of my male connections.

Get out there. Introduce yourself. Crack some jokes.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Guys connect through activities, for example i'm a ball-a-holic, so all my boys I've met through through ball. You can't make your whole life about pussy, and i'm glad you finally realized it.

[–]Original_Dankster2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Hobbies, sports or activities.

I started learning drums, so I could jam with some musicians I knew.

I joined a volunteer organization, so that I could meet people with some similar interests.

I have a old-school gaming hobby (tabletop, not computer) and met some dudes online and now we game weekly in real life.

I joined a gun club, and do precision shooting now with some guys.

I volunteered for the board of my professional association. Met dudes that way.

My advice to you is get a hobby, sport or activity with the kinds of dudes you want in your social network.

[–]randomperson1233212 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Forget the common interests, forget the common past, forget the common social/financial/racial/etc characteristics you have with others. As you grow as a person, those matter less and less. Not only that, people you had similarities with will start to envy and even hate you as you grow and they remain stuck or follow lesser (to their eyes) paths.

Your best bet is to find people with similar mindsets and intellect as you (which is hard and time consuming). That way, no matter what you do with your lives you will still have a bond and be able to understand each other.

[–]Icanus2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Join a man-club.
Sports, politics, culture. Doesn't matter. Find something you love.
I'm a member of a political organisation and of a shooting club.
It's great for networking and from the 200 guys I know there about 20 are real friends.

Do not join an organisation where women are relevant. They are shit or will soon be in a shitstorm.

[–]lilbro19846 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy

Look for local leagues of a sporting event you enjoy/ play. Join.

[–]askmrcia6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

This Op. This is where I met most of by guy friends. Also Op if you're out of college, us guys friendships are not like women. We don't go out to bars together 4 days out of the week for happy hour. We don't text each other full blown conversations throughout the week gossiping about nothing.

All my guy friends, we will do activities together once a week, once a month or even a few times a year and still maintain a strong bond.

But yes doing rec leagues together like dodge ball or flag football is an excellent way of meeting guy friends.

And depending on your job, work can be a great way too. Be careful with that one. But a few people I worked with have became my closest friends.

[–]jjohaann[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I guess my lack of involvement in the sports have been th contributing factor to my lack of guy friends. It usually ends up me talking to guys like I 'used' to talk to women which never works. I am joining the gym from. Next month nevertheless. I will update you on how things go.

[–]traveldeedee1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I had a lot of guy friends. After periods of drastic self-improvement, I have found them not worth my time to hang out with. So now I'm fine being left alone.

[–]JackGetsIt2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Just level up man. There's another tier of guys worth your time and energy out there.

[–]waynebradysworld1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

What are your political views? Outside of the obvious mutual interests comments I am seeing (which are spot on), I've made more friends through my outspoken politics as a grown man than through anything else. Also more enemies. Be true to yourself and steadfast in your beliefs; some folks will hate you and block or try to doxx you, others will respect you and develop feelings of admiration that can blossom into great friendships

And no, don't handle guys like girls. If a guy treated me like a girl I would think he was a faggot or even worse, trying to AMOG me and I likely wouldnt put myself in that situation again

[–]JackGetsIt1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Shared interests has been oft repeated in this thread but also you need to pair that suggestion with not burning bridges. I've found that too many times in my life I've disagree with someone and left the 'group' 'club' or 'sport' to then realize that I just cut myself off from lots of other potential friends because of one or two disputes.

If you join a group of men and don't have a bromance with anyone guy that's not a big deal. If you have a falling out with one guy just accept that and don't allow it to infect the group. Just become cursory friends and continue to meet more male friends and you will eventually meet men that you not only share interests with but have a genuine respect and comradery with. This process takes time but male friendships last a lot longer and are a lot more valuable then female friendships and are worth forging.

[–]Thewelshpill4 points5 points  (9 children) | Copy

join an mma gym

[–]COLIE532 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

THIS!!! at the very least a BJJ gym. Its medicine for your soul and you'll meet some solid fellas to go drink a beer and watch the game with. Jus dont act like a try hard and you'll be just fine.

[–]2dfx1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Easier said than done in smaller communities

[–]i_forget_my_userids10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

male hamster

[–]bigk123450 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

What type of martial arts would you guys recommend for a 6'4 guy? I see jiu jitsu gets recommended, but I want to have some stand up too if the shit the fan and there is a real fight. I guess I am looking for something that will make me well- rounded.

[–]digestingthepill1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

I personally like boxing.

[–]Askada0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Yeah, boxing or kickboxing is THE shit. In questionable bar/street situations nothing will solve things better and faster than a single, solid punch in the face.

[–]digestingthepill0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I love it dude. My plan is to learn BJJ next (for ground game) and down the line, Krav Maga.

And the way you expressed yourself worried me...Punching is a good skill to have but with great power comes great responsibility. I've seen too many liveleak and streetfight videos where people hit their heads on concrete and die... if not receive brain damage. its not a game, people die from this shit, and it's certainly not worth it ( you discovered the RP already and are on a good path.. why throw that away in an instant?)

I'll only use my power as a last resort. And if it gets to that point, I'd consider it a failure on my part for not deescalating the situation.

[–]Thewelshpill0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

give them all a go see which ones you enjoy, scope out different gyms and see what the guys are like



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2021. All rights reserved.

created by /u/dream-hunter