Woman flat out refused to pay for her drinks last night...

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October 26, 2014

I met up with a chick from OkCupid. She picked a pretty high-end restaurant. I usually aim only to get drinks, but it was near her place and that was where I wanted to end my night. Everything went fine, drinks, laughter, making out, a little fingerbanging, etc. When the bill comes, however, it was not cheap. I ask her to kick in what amounted to about 20%, just so I didn't have to pay the more-than-expected full-freight. She flat-out refuses to do -- "I don't pay for drinks"..."Men should do this"...blah blah blah. It's not like when we talked I was like 'hey, let me take you out.' No, this bitch straight-up just shows up, eats and drinks like no tomorrow, and expects me to pay. Well, fuck that. I was pretty insistent that she help pay something and she refuses, point-blank. I leave to go to the restroom, slip out the back door, and leave her with the entire bill. I go home and masturbate. She sends me a couple angry texts, but whatever. My question is: How would you guys have handled this? Am I in the wrong here? I'm not sure if this was the best play...

Post Information
Title Woman flat out refused to pay for her drinks last night...
Author burneraccount11122
Upvotes 114
Comments 78
Date 26 October 2014 09:23 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/32
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/2keimg/woman_flat_out_refused_to_pay_for_her_drinks_last/
Similar Posts

[–]hairynavel124 points125 points  (19 children) | Copy

Tell the server you're splitting the check.

[–]Humankeg48 points49 points  (18 children) | Copy

While I don't have a problem sticking an entitled bitch with the check, I do worry she would leave with out paying at all. I would definitely tell the waiter it's a split bill so that they can deal with her shit, not me.

Then go home and masterbate.

[–]burneraccount11122[S] 25 points26 points  (5 children) | Copy

Yeah. That's how I should have played it, and before we even ordered. She did pay though, according to her angry texts.

[–]1oldredder85 points86 points  (0 children) | Copy

so now you know she fully had the cash to do so and still expected you to foot the bill.

Think about that. Let it sink in.

She's a parasite.

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy

You did the complete right thing. If there was no hint or implication you were "taking her out" there was absolutely no justification for her expectation.

Leaving her with the entire bill was sticking it to her rotten baby, I like that. You could have paid your share at the back without her knowing and left, but the fact she had to pay for yours too maybe gave her some of her own medicine.

The fact that it was close to her home probably means she goes there with different guys pretty often, so just think of the poor suckers she's managed to get free meals/drinks off of.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Two strangers meeting for the first time should expect to split the bill. Whether that's 50/50, or pay for what you ate or drank, it doesn't really matter, but unless it's a business transaction and the other person is a client, they should pay their share. But this bitch wouldn't even pay 20% of it? Fuck her. You did the exact right thing by sticking her with the check.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Then go home and masterbate.

[–]Humankeg1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Paying cash for every drink each time it is brought is best. But you could have easily told the waiter st the end that its a split bill. I do that every time now when I pay card.

[–]j0hnan0n5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Get up to use the bathroom, find your server on the way. Ask to speak with him/her where the chick can't see you talking, and have him split the bill then and there. Pay your half and leave before her half is delivered.

[–][deleted] 45 points46 points  (0 children) | Copy

Only thing wrong was that you left through the back door. Ideally you should've:

  1. Put your share of cash on the table
  2. Walk away

[–]aOs_Student71 points72 points  (3 children) | Copy

As soon as you let her pick the location she had you pegged as betabucks. Live and learn to be more assertive.

[–]Modbsutansalt49 points50 points  (0 children) | Copy

More to the point, NO DINNER DATES. Save that shit for when you're already dating.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

I always used the angle they can come to my place and cook me dinner(yes even on a first date) That way they can "show off their good cooking skills" give them a little challenge. It weeded out the princesses that couldn't cook or find it beneath them to cook. Plus having my bed 15 feet away didn't hurt.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

that'd be cool if u want a chick with good qualities. honestly I just go for the movie at my place cause just wanna fuck and dont care about her ability to cook

[–]GC0W3012 points13 points  (4 children) | Copy

With all of my OKC dates, I just flat-out tell them all of my dates are dutch until the first wedding anniversary.

7 dates in, not one complaint or argument.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

edit** I just googled it.
Each person pays for themselves.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Can you provide an example of how/when you do this please?

[–]GC0W303 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

I introduce myself, she does her intro, we do about 1-4 pages of back and forth messages being witty, or whatever, then I say "How about the [smalltown coffee shop with kino-friendly seating] on Smith Road at 7 tomorrow night?" Once she says yes, I literally type: "Just so you know, I always go dutch until the first wedding anniversary."

Incidentally, on my date from Sunday I forgot to tell her. When we ordered lunch [the town had NO good coffee shops or bars] I let the waitress know it was a split check. She seemed actually enamored of me, probably aroused, and amazed at my sense of humor and intelligence.

A bitch didn't say anything, but I did get a text back the next day when I tried to book her for a Friday night downtown drinking/ taxi/ fucking night that told me she didn't want to go out again. I drilled back and forth to find out the reason, because her stated reasons were bullshit. She seemed most hung up on my not paying for her ($9 with tip) lunch. I am quite glad to be rid of her. Honestly, I may have blown it up by proposing that kind of partying for a second date, but she seemed pretty worked up at the end of date 1. I'm booked heavy enough that IDGAF.

So, yeah, put that shit in at the front end.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Ah, ok. I didn't realise that you meant you told them it was going to be Dutch before meeting in person. Cheers

[–]ThePrince_31 points32 points  (3 children) | Copy

1) don't let her choose the venue, and failing that don't let it be an expensive restaurant.

2) I think by asking her to chip in 20% you're making it less likely for her to pay. At 20%, you're offering to subsidise her food/drinks but not shout it. A strange situation. If you put down cash for just the things you're paying for then you're not trying to buy her off and you can say you don't buy drinks for girls.

In this situation, I would almost just advocate taking the hit on the 20% and learn from it if you thought you had the bang incoming. However, what you did was way funnier but probably not ideal way of handling it going into the future.

Ultimately, prevention is better than cure.

[–]AskTRP Endorsed ContributorAlphaAsFAQ16 points17 points  (0 children) | Copy


[–]burneraccount11122[S] 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

I wouldn't have had a problem picking up the bill if it hadn't been so much. I just wanted a little relief because I hadn't planned on dropping that much.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Splitting the bill 50/50 should be at the minimum your standard operating procedure. Save the money! You don't owe bitches anything. If you insist on paying for a woman as an extra boost to layage chance, establish maximum limits you're willing to pay (say $50 total for meals & drinks) and pick dining spots accordingly.

[–]1throwaway-aa2[🍰] 48 points49 points  (1 child) | Copy

This bitch probably believes in gender equality too. Fuck her.

I know it sucks, but split the bill up front. Yeah that means you have to deal with what you dealt with at the start of the date... but isn't TRP about being a man, not putting pussy on a pedestal, saying what you want...

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

She stated that she was going to screw you over, you just denied her the opportunity to do so.

[–]Entershikari29 points30 points  (3 children) | Copy

Whenever a girl ask me for a drink I go :

" You didn't do anything to deserve it "

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Lmao, care to elaborate on some of the responses you've received? Do you smile when you say it?

[–]joshecf1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Damn it. There was this one time with my brother that a couple of girls we had met asked us to buy them a drink. This is what I should have responded!

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points  (6 children) | Copy

Am I in the wrong here?

She sends me a couple angry texts

You gave her your number. Otherwise I see no obvious problems.

[–]TheRealMewt5 points6 points  (5 children) | Copy

You do realize that once you call or text anybody after you get their number, they have your number in return, right?

[–]soapbubble0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Block your id. Only *82 people you know imo.

[–]1oldredder1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

or skiptracers. Or those who just flat out hack a phone.

That's what burner-phones are for. okcupid, plenty of ham, tinder, use a burner phone number / SIM.

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (2 children) | Copy

There are ways of mitigating that.

[–]Psiposa1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

really, how?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy

Fucking gold that you straight left.

I woulda done the same.


[–][deleted] 24 points25 points  (6 children) | Copy

When the bill comes, however, it was not cheap. I ask her to kick in what amounted to about 20%

What the fuck? Firstly since she arranged the location she was inviting you on the date and should have paid, unless you were a pussy and asked her to suggest somewhere? Which is always a massive mistake, an alpha always takes the lead and arranges every place.

Secondly contributing 20%? You should have told her 50% or paid everything yourself, asking for a puny 20% contribution just makes you look like a low resource beta poorfag.

[–]burneraccount11122[S] 22 points23 points  (4 children) | Copy

Fuck it, live and learn. I've just never had a bitch act like this.

[–]throwdownshowdownman7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Lmao I laughed once you said "slip out the back" ballsy.

[–]Humankeg0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Telling a girl to put in her share (even if its 20%) doesn't make you look like a beta bitch.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

Asking for her to pay her share is ok, but it can't be anything less than her full share or it screams "poorfag". If you really don't pay for girls drinks out of principle and not because you can't afford it all, why are you paying ANY part of HER bill? You either do it 50/50, or do it all and never call again.

[–]Humankeg1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I said if her share of the bill happens to be 20%, the percent is arbitrary. I either do separate checks, pay cash for myself, or each of us take turns buying rounds.

I don't put up with cheap women, entitled women, and I have too much respect for women to treat them as common whores and escorts by paying their bills, and always feel as if I dodge a bullet if they never speak to me again after they have to pay.

[–]rebuildingMyself1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

What the fuck? Firstly since she arranged the location she was inviting you on the date and should have paid

You and I both know that rule only applies to men so that women can hamster their parasitic ways.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Well only if she doesn't expect to be treated equally in other areas

[–]RedSunBlue4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

She picked

This is where you fucked up.

Good job on the fingerbanging though. In a fancy restaurant no less.

[–]burneraccount11122[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

I didn't know what part of town she was in or I would have found a place. But this -- I'll never let a bitch pick a place again. Once burnt, twice shy.

[–]CalvinHobb3s3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

lmao I love that you slipped out the back. I died.

[–]favours_of_the_moon7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Hahaha, fuck that bitch.

You were perfectly willing to show 80%. You were being completely cool. She picked a place she KNEW was over priced.

Shit test, PASSED.

[–]jacks_not_surprised2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I leave to go to the restroom, slip out the back door, and leave her with the entire bill. I go home and masturbate.


[–]Strangeclouds4200 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Did you respond to the angry texts at all?

[–]burneraccount11122[S] 6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy

Nope. Not a one. New date with a new girl tomorrow.

[–]Strangeclouds4201 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Good. You're better than me. I woulda sent back a snarky reply or something hoping that she'd learn a thing or too. Pointless I know but that type of justice is effortless

[–]burneraccount11122[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I used to be the same way. But one day you just kind of realize: I don't need these bitches, I've got my life on lock, and I'm content with myself. It truly is a weight of your shoulders to think, 'Whatever, ho, I'm good with or without you.' And to the point where it's not a front, but how you actually feel. It's important to remember, there are far less HVM than dirty whores out there. Some chick might fuck you up for a bit, but another bitch always -- always -- comes along. Keep the faith, my friend.

[–]abcd_z0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Don't go on dinner dates. Arrange to spend time with the woman in a cheaper way that isn't as likely to trigger an unwarranted entitlement complex. Go to a museum, or go bike-riding at a park, or (my personal favorite) just invite her back to your place.

[–]vicious_armbar0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

It was the best play once you agreed to meet her at the restaurant and ordered drinks. But don't put yourself in that position in the first place. If you're setting up the date, and you're expected to pay, then you should be picking the location.

Ex: "Glad to hear you're free tomorrow night. Meet me at XXX. Does 8 pm work for you?" If she gives you any push back then sell the location hard. If she keeps on giving you a crap, and insisting on an expensive place; or dinner instead of just drinks cut the line. I like my women submissive and obedient. I'm not interested in ball busting gold diggers. Let some other sucker deal with that bullshit!

[–]1oldredder2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

That's a beta blue-pill expectation & it's up to us to hold frame as real men and BREAK that expectation into tiny shards of tears, recognition & her paying for her own fucking bill. Men are not ATMs for women.


[–]SeekingTheWay0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You insist on splitting the check.

Back in my BP days, I was on a third date with a girl, paying for drinks the two times before, still no progress. The third time I said to myself "Fuck this!". It was in a restaurant and I ordered a big steak while she only had a small salad. When the waiter brought the check, I told him to split it and I gave him a tip the size of the girl's check just to make my point.

She was so shocked. Later we were walking from the restaurant to public transport station and my apartment is directly on the way. Last two days, I invited her to my place for some more drinks, she refused, so I walked her to the station and returned back to my place. Not this time. As we got to my building, I said my goodbyes and started to open the door. What do you know - she was all "You know maybe I could have another glass at yours.". Banged her that night, never saw her again. And I could even figure this out before TRP.

[–]McGauth9250 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I like what you did. The only thing that might have been better - and I have NO clue as to how to accomplish it - would be to leave money for half the bill.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Stick with the local coffee joint and arrive early so you already have your drink paid for.

[–]Espada180 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is why I don't do online dating, shit like this happens way more than often.

[–]AranMakor0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

For what it is worth, I've had similar experiences with females. Had one say, upon the group we were with talking about getting shots, say "I don't buy shots. If someone wants to buy me one, I'll drink it, but I don't buy."

I think you did mostly the right thing. I would have split the check into two tabs and paid the server for what you had. Based off what you posted, this was an entitled human who has done this before and someone let her get away with it. The buck stops here.

[–]1oldredder0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Fuck that.

Right then & there I know she would have no place in my life - I'm not her ATM - and I would say "Men don't like being ATMs for women. I don't like it. Is that your final answer?"

You're not in the wrong whatsoever.

[–]mbillion-5 points-4 points  (1 child) | Copy

P U S S Y - you should not have walked out - that is lame as fuck.

I guess without context its hard to say but it sounds like you may have not handled your front end work. When I am taking a girl out and expect her to pay for her share I at least mention it.

TBH it sounds like in your thirst you were talking a big game but when the bill came your little wallet hit you

[–]burneraccount11122[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

We didn't chat much up-front. I close bitches all the time sating, 'Great profile, lets grab a drink.' But this shit -- I wasn't prepared for it and didn't handle it well.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

just pay, bang her, never see her again

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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