Hey, I am a 24yo man in 2nd year of medical school.
My gf and I have been dating since freshman year, so far that is about 5 years of dating... In college we had a great relationship. She is now in 2nd year of Law school, and was on a sports team in college, but due to the life adjustment has put on some weight over the past two years. We both have heavy time demands so that has put some time constraints on us schedule wise but we have been making it work. Last fall, (the beginning of both of our first years in prof school) she started talking more and more seriously about marriage, as I’m sure she had seen other people in her class hooking up, had been gaining some weight, and was sure there were attractive people in my class, and was feeling more insecure.
Since then, she has begun to get more worried after hearing that I don’t feel ready for marriage, and has mentioned that she needs to be dating again because she doesn’t want to get too old before she gets married. She said if I don’t feel ready by new years then we need to go separate ways.
I agree with this ultimatum because we had kind of gotten stagnant and this probably should have been addressed sooner, but she wants me to break up with her, not the other way around, and I think it would really hurt her a lot.
She is amazing, has a wonderful faith, and all the rest, but I have been stuck between feeling guilty for not being as attracted to her anymore, and not wanting to end it, even though I clearly don’t think I am going to be ready for engagement this December...
I would love some advice from this community, feel free to ask further clarification, but I will try to keep as anonymous as possible.
Edit: Thanks for the feedback to all who have commented, we are broken up now. I'm going to go through the things in the wiki here, set new lifting/career goals, go deeper with the fellowship of my current friends, and meet some new people. Cheers
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