~ archived since 2018 ~
Popular
Other
kawaiimommii
[removed]
[–]miwamusFDS Newbie42 points43 points44 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Yes! I printed a t-shirt that said "no bitter men" and instantly all bitter men went away. No, wait, that didn't happen. Because most men don't care about what I want. Joke aside, I know it's frustrating. Best thing to do is block. The first time he shows you who he is, block.
Wish you the best.
[–][deleted] 7 points8 points9 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Love this <3 you have a great sense of humor along with your good advice.
[–]Silverpool20186 points7 points8 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I was hopeful for first couple of seconds lol
[–][deleted] 17 points18 points19 points 3 years ago* (8 children) | Copy Link
Okay so I don’t know but this is pretty much how your messages online should go. Anything you have to think much harder than this about is a no.
Him: hello how are you
You: good, how are you
Him: I’m good. Would you like to get dinner next Saturday night
You: okay
Him: okay how about xyz place at 7 my treat
You: sounds great! Let’s Zoom first (you can vet him on Zoom)
There is no reason to chat more than this. He says hi and something basic. He asks you out. That’s it. Anything else is an issue and a red flag with online dating. It should not take more than a few messages from you for him to ask you out. Idk what is going on with your messages but there is no reason to be engaging in that because it is not going to benefit you and it is a very bad strategy. With HVM it is going to be very basic
[–]curlygirl507FDS Apprentice23 points24 points25 points 3 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
I don't quite agree with this because I feel it's important to get basics out of the way first (like are they religious, do they want children, what is their full name for a background check, their marital status, etc.). Also I find when I chat with someone for a few days I'm often able to spot red flags and unmatch quickly. But maybe I'm doing this all wrong...
[–][deleted] 6 points7 points8 points 3 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
If you have a good system going that is great :) however, it really can be this basic if you want it to be. The amount of men who ask women on expensive dinner dates (I personally have found those are the only ones worth going on) and pass a basic zoom call with vetting questions are so low that this really is enough in my opinion. If the OP does this strategy maybe she won’t have the issues she is having. It really can be super basic. Just don’t expect a lot of dates from this strategy which I see as a benefit.
[–]KristeninmyskinFDS Apprentice4 points5 points6 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
All those sound like great things to ask about on the zoom call or FaceTime!
[–]purasangriaRuthless Strategist2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Definitely video chat with them before you meet. Many of the men on old sites post ancient photos and lie about their age. You need to have a good look at them first before you go on a date.
[–]welmishFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I’m curious about the full-name aspect you mentioned. How willing are men to give their full name before you meet? How often do you do the background check? How do you run the check?
[–]curlygirl507FDS Apprentice2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I actually haven't done it myself (haven't dated anyone since finding this sub) but it's frequently recommended. Can anyone help?
[–]PorkNeckBoneFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
When I was using OLD before, I would use their first name + company/university + location to find their linkedin page. If they're in uni, use the university directory. Some programs also post names and photos of current doctoral/masters students. Usually they have a picture up there as well so this verified that they were who they said they were and they have the position they said they have. Usually they have their full name on linkedin so from there I would do a full google search.
If I couldn't find them on Linkedin or the company/uni site and they claimed to have a position with more responsibility or at a big company, etc, I automatically knew they were bsing. I did this after agreeing on a date so if anything felt off, I would cancel plans and make up whatever excuse for no longer being able to go followed by a block.
[–]curlygirl507FDS Apprentice2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I do all that too, but I've never done an actual background check.
© TheRedArchive 2024. All rights reserved.created by /u/dream-hunter
[–]miwamusFDS Newbie42 points43 points44 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Silverpool20186 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 17 points18 points19 points (8 children) | Copy Link
[–]curlygirl507FDS Apprentice23 points24 points25 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]KristeninmyskinFDS Apprentice4 points5 points6 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]purasangriaRuthless Strategist2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]welmishFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]curlygirl507FDS Apprentice2 points3 points4 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]PorkNeckBoneFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]curlygirl507FDS Apprentice2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link