Is it just me or does it seem like we only have two options in dating these days?

Mrs_Drgree · 2020-10-27T10:07:33+00:00

Removed for low effort

BrownEyedGringa · 2020-10-27T06:17:03+00:00

Sounds like you want to have your cake and eat it too

_mwk · 2020-10-27T06:48:41+00:00

yes there is a middle option and that's having a not so serious boyfriend you're not intending on marrying. boyfriend/girlfriend are not a lifelong commitment thing and dont have to lead to cohabitation.

get a bf you like, have fun and when it's not what you want anymore, move on. if you're young, this is what everyone else does. if you're old, maybe tell him that you're not ready for lifelong commitment.

lonelinessmademecave · 2020-10-27T09:08:48+00:00

Lmao if you’re exclusive with an FWB you’re in a relationship full stop. Like congrats, you have a boyfriend/girlfriend.

BROWN-TOILET-PAPER · 2020-10-27T07:39:31+00:00

I was guessing before I opened the thread...

A: Sluts

B: Sluts who want wedding rings

I was kind of right.

Cimorene86 · 2020-10-27T09:57:13+00:00

I'm not looking to meet anyone's parents atm, but at the same time I'd like to have something relaxing and fun, but also not get into a situation where I could get treated "like a hole".

I know some people are going to say my situation is atypical, but this is honestly what a normal FWB should be. After all, you are friends who have sex. It's in the damn name. What kind of incredibly shitty "friend" would they have to be to think of you as a hole (or a dildo, for the men)?

Friends hang out and relax. Grab a bite to eat. Go out for drinks. Watch movies or sports together. Play videogames. Sometimes even go on vacation. It's almost impossible to not care about someone you spend time with like this. Hell, even if it's just a once a week bowling league or monthly camping trip, you're still going to have at least some mutual respect for a person in your tribe.

Idk when people started thinking of FWB as synonymous with an uncaring fuck buddy/booty call, but it's really weird. They're not the same thing at all. Mine's lasted so long because it provides exactly what you're looking for...sex, fun, a relaxing relationship. Maybe look for someone who is already a friend and see if he'd be open to a little intimacy on the side.

SmurfESmurferson · 2020-10-27T06:20:55+00:00

A leads to B

I’m older than most of the users on this sub, but it has happened to me. I entered what I thought was a FWB situation probably 4 or so times .... only to be dressed up and meeting the parents a couple months later. Even as I was standing there, making nice and wondering how TF I got myself into that situation

Despite what TRP squawks about, people do want to couple up and settle down

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2020-10-27T06:30:58+00:00

You can get treated "like a hole" even in a marriage. It depends on whom you choose to interact with. Choose your social circle (including your dates) wisely.

SherbertBacon · 2020-10-27T07:10:19+00:00

Isn't there room for something in between?? Like something exclusive with mutual respect, but also mostly physical?

Do you mean an exclusive short-term relationship? That's what this is. On OkCupid there's a whole category called "short-term dating" for this purpose.

Have you encountered something in between? Does it just not exist?

All of my FWBs have been respectful, fun, and low-key casual. You just respectfully disengage once you sense feelings start creeping in. You still grab drinks beforehand. There's just no pretense of it meaning anything, or there being any long-term objective in mind. All you're asking for above this is exclusivity. Which might be harder to lock-down, but not impossible if you're up front with what you're after.

Uesugi1989 · 2020-10-27T08:25:12+00:00

In most parts of the world that middle ground is what actually happens, two persons come together and if they are both having a good time a relationship grows with time. I guess it's a cultural thing, from what I have seen in relationship subs Americans have a business like approach to dating. One thing that stood out to me over the years is their obsession to let the girl know beforehand that it is actually a date their asking her. Does it matter what you call the meeting with a girl? You can call it a date or business meeting or whatever, what matters is what happens between you and the girl, flirt with her and tease her playfully and if the timing feels right escalate the physical approach

Also dinner dates? I haven't seen it anywhere than these subs

decoy88 · 2020-10-27T09:34:02+00:00

Sounds like you want and exclusive FWB. That’s totally possible. It usually leads to something.

You gotta ask yourself why you need it to be exclusive tho?

FWB and fuckbuddy are not the same thing.
Men can’t approach you for FWB unless they are already your friend, otherwise it’s fuckbuddy

Ercole_ · 2020-10-27T10:02:50+00:00

There are guys who will treat you like more than a hole without you having to commit to them.

Joey_Lopez · 2020-10-27T06:47:02+00:00

You mean you want to lease a partner?

merlinscalculator · 2020-10-27T07:24:02+00:00

I had one of those ‘relationships’ when I worked overseas for a 6 month internship with another dude that from a different country. We both said we didn’t want a long distance after we went home, but it was nice to have someone while we were there. We had a really nice couple of months and then went our own way. It was a little odd being with someone with a very clear expiration date, but it was overall a good experience. That’s kinda the only way I’d imagine being able to pull off a relationship like that. Other than that - yep it’s those 2 options.

gum_nut · 2020-10-27T08:05:46+00:00

Women don't want something "mostly physical".

If you're not giving her the relationship stuff, she's not going to stop looking for other men. She's just FWBing around with you until she finds a man she's into who will give her what she actually wants.

Title	Is it just me or does it seem like we only have two options in dating these days?
Author	BrownEyedGringa
Upvotes	1
Comments	41
Date	October 27, 2020 6:08 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/jivuhq/is_it_just_me_or_does_it_seem_like_we_only_have/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/is-it-just-me-or-does-it-seem-like-we-only-have.327604 https://theredarchive.com/post/327604