I grew up in a conservative,religious household. Traditional marriage was the convention. It was always driven into my head that I’ll get a nice conservative girl later, and as I am in college the culture seems to be prolific with hookups, drinking, drugs and utter irresponsibility of their incoming future. It just seems so gloomy. And I question what am I working towards? I keep on telling myself that I need to focus on myself be successful for myself.

I have worked extremely hard, got into a top university in nyc, made decent money on the side with business, but am struggling with myself. I keep on “dreaming” you could say of my life with a girlfriend or future wife. Saving myself and upholding my principles for a wife. Maybe it’s my longing for emotional support, sensual desires, or simple want for female companionship. As sad as it is, I look at these attractive girls in college hooking up with people left and right only to pull a facade of purity when they reach marriage age, trapping guys like me who worked their entire life, building something for themselves. I tell myself to remain disciplined and not engage in such fruitless acts of despair, but a part of me wants to just try and get a girlfriend, etc.

I need help from you guys with advice if any. As much as this dream sounds good, how do I focus on myself? How do I create a mindset to focus on my happiness, my goals, and stop desiring an attractive girl when I see one?

All my “friends” party at clubs, drink excessively, and vie for the attention of girls, and are always trying to get me to do so too(always been the studious one). A part of me says fuck it, might as well, but is immediately hindered by my second thought rationality. How do I remain disciplined alone? Very few people I know are like that. Many people drink for the simple reason of socializing. I want to be able to operate autonomously, even if the whole world believes norm is girls, drinking,drugs,etc. How do I do this?

I want to focus on myself and my goals, not for a moment ever being perturbed by girls, social norms, peer pressure, etc. I want to create success for myself and remove this lust from my mind. How though?Thanks guys.