Deployed to Middle East, fiancee cheated on me

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February 5, 2020
327 upvotes

Hard nexted almost immediately, all i need to do is worry about my stuff in our apartment. I set myself up for failure and that's the only reason it came to this. It really fucking stings now but I'm setting myself up for success from here on out. I've been red pill aware for our whole relationship, but I thought I was making things work just for her. Couple of lessons well learned.

  1. Don't fuck with BPD
  2. If you even have the slightest feeling that she's moving on...shes already moved on
  3. Lift
  4. TRP is more true than I ever thought possible

I'm coming home with more money and in better shape than I've ever been in my life. Let's fucking go


Post Information
Title Deployed to Middle East, fiancee cheated on me
Author jarthan
Upvotes 327
Comments 175
Date 05 February 2020 04:30 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/330470
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/ez3qrd/deployed_to_middle_east_fiancee_cheated_on_me/
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
cheatingliftthe red pillhard nextingBPD
Comments

[–][deleted]  (64 children) | Copy

[deleted]

[–]animal-mother163 points164 points  (5 children) | Copy

It's been cliché for literally thousands of years if not longer.

[–]Str_113 points114 points  (2 children) | Copy

It's like awalt or something

[–]clickherebaby9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Lolol

[–]RPOpenUp3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Oh yeah I think I've seen that before here

[–]linkinway4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

if it's true that it happened before women became this self involved freaks i.e after feminsim, it's really heartbreaking as I just saw the movie 1917, saw what men went through so that their families could live safely. and for that huge sacrifice that's what women did?!

[–]Ill_mumble_that6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Women don't understand honor or virtue. They do whatever their emotions demand. They are slaves. Slaves to their emotion.

Women are incapable of monk mode. Let that sink in.

[–]1pointtwentyone106 points107 points  (21 children) | Copy

The Department of Veteran Affairs should offer services for our young men so they don't have their lives ruined by these women. Might need a Department of Red Pill.

[–]djc_tech71 points72 points  (8 children) | Copy

They don't need to. Trust me you learn in BMT/Bootcamp that this will happen. In fact your drill sgt will tell you there..your girl is at home getting dick from someone else right now while you're here...Jodi is always waiting for your girl.
If there is one thing I have learned from basic other than making beds it's that when you're deployed you're mom is the only trustworthy person back at home...everyone else doesn't give a shit. Oh and Jodi's gonna get your girl.

[–]Whambamwham33 points34 points  (5 children) | Copy

“Nobody gives a shit about you and youre own your own” is the most valuable thing a man can learn in life

[–]TFWnoLTR7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

It's a hard pill to swallow, but it's the medicine we all need.

[–]thechaosz2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Once you're old and experienced enough, it's just part of you.

[–]djc_tech3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is so true. As someone who was married I can attest no one gives a shit about your problems as a man...no one. You’re going to have to get good at solving things on your own and being on your own. Other than your dog, no one gives a shit.

[–]Nofapislit2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

And don’t think anyone appreciates anything. They only understand fear.

[–]IndianaBW2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Truly.

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy

[deleted]

[–]thechaosz0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I am Jodi. I always say bonus points for cops. My favorite kind.

I get extra hard with the wedding pic on the night stand.

Yes I have an escape route and the window is open.

Yes I park down the road.

No I've never had an incident

[–][deleted]  (10 children) | Copy

[deleted]

[–]2PacAn5 points6 points  (8 children) | Copy

This is some incel shit. Don’t be a pussy. If you so choose to be in a relationship while being deployed then don’t be surprised when your girl fucks around. Get the fuck over it and learn from it. Punishing women for acting like women isn’t gonna solve shit and it certainly won’t help the dumbasses that choose to be in these relationships.

[–]Qba19940 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

what „deployed” means here?

[–][deleted]  (6 children) | Copy

[deleted]

[–]animal-mother1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

If you were eating a steak and abruptly needed to take a shit, would you put your dog down when you come back and your steak is gone?

[–][deleted]  (4 children) | Copy

[deleted]

[–]animal-mother0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

And anyone's girl doesn't have self control. She needs her vitamin D for strong bones.

[–][deleted]  (2 children) | Copy

[deleted]

[–]animal-mother0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Bro, are we in Saudi or Iran? Notice both of those cases involve external sources of morality through social pressure. In the absence of this, I wouldn't expect her to not cheat when it is so low risk.

I'm not a captain save a ho. I'm not excusing shit. She don't want to be saved, don't save her.

[–]Sunny_NoFap1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

What a great idea.

[–]Theebenedetto35 points36 points  (32 children) | Copy

I saw a lot of it too a decade ago. The military makes most guys beta-ish

[–]mortalcoil120 points21 points  (5 children) | Copy

Continuous high stress environments, continuous lack of sleep, continuous lack of sunlight, and continuous poor nutrition can tank T levels and cause rapid aging.

You see some people in the military. They look like they are in their 50's. They tell you they are 34...

But yeah, in the military a lot of service members are working crazy long hours inside a building or ship. I was in the Navy, I could go days without seeing the sun. The food isn't always the best. High stress. Working 18-20 hour days... It just drains you, and if you aren't in a combat role, and most of the military isn't, you are probably going to put on weight from that life style, and age horribly.

All so you can be underpaid working crazy long hours while your wife cheats on you and your kids grow up without a father.

Fuck that shit. I got out of the military ASAP.

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy

[deleted]

[–]mortalcoil13 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

If it treated its soldiers and veterans better that would be less money to embezzle.

[–]Theebenedetto1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Very well said

[–]thechaosz0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Get out of getting married too

[–]mortalcoil10 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

There are a lot of benefits to being married in the military. I had a marriage of convenience in the military for the benefits.

[–]McDrMuffinMan0 points1 point  (25 children) | Copy

Does it?

[–]Theebenedetto51 points52 points  (15 children) | Copy

As a veteran, I believe so. Most members of the military aren’t in combat positions. Most live a structured life. Marrying a chick and knocking her up is encouraged although that’s sort of a southern/redneck thing anyway but true for a lot of people who join. America hypes up the military so much and young women have this fantasy of some macho man. He winds up leaving. He winds up missing her and being lonely. Then she starts fucking other guys. It’s so common, I saw it happen to a bunch of guys. I probably explained all this poorly but just my 2 cents.

[–]Bronzeraptor6 points7 points  (3 children) | Copy

You can correct me if I'm wrong, but one thing that they check while obtaining clearance is your marital status. I think that the government's thinking is that if you're married, you're more "stable" than someone in a divorce or single. In this day and age, I have to wonder if I'd be more stable as a single man without any worries of infidelity, terrible resource management, etc.

[–]thrwy7547911 points12 points  (1 child) | Copy

the government's thinking is that if you're married, you're more "stable"

You're easier to control.

[–]DarkJayBR2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

North Korea kinda does that. If you step out of the line or tries to leave the country, they will kill your family. That's why marrying is mandatory to the soldiers.

[–]Theebenedetto3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

It’s possible. I was single and had a secret clearance.

[–]thechaosz1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Easiest lays ever along with cops wives

[–]McDrMuffinMan0 points1 point  (9 children) | Copy

sounds to me like its a good way to build value but not one to govern your life.

I was considering being a Marine reservist so I could put "Marine" on my dating/ job resume

You would reccomend against it?

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (3 children) | Copy

Bruh you were gonna join the Marines because you hoped it would get you laid? You were literally gonna sign away all of your freedom where they could send you to Iraq as a minefield tester on a whim and if you say 'no' then you go to prison, just because you hoped it would get you laid?

[–]McDrMuffinMan-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy

Not quite. I need it to help pay for school, and I would work likely in the defense industry as an engineer and "Marine" looks good on that resume, plus it has clout socially

[–]Bronzeraptor1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I know a few former jugheads. Of them, only one is doing anything related to STEM or academics. Even he jokes around about the fact that he was able to rise up as an officer in the Marines is because he knew how to write.

Have you looked at the other branches? I can recommend the Army Corps of Engineers. Also, the Air Force and Army would be great for Cyber, if that's your cup of tea.

[–]McDrMuffinMan-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

I have, I know it sounds illogical but I'm kinda looking for the toughness and grit aspect that comes with Marines being the hardest. I'm also looking for the additional respect and value that may subconsciously come with Marines over other branches.

[–]Theebenedetto6 points7 points  (4 children) | Copy

Without the military, I wouldn’t be where I am right now. So if you think it’ll be beneficial, I definitely recommend it. Especially going in with an awareness of how it might be. When I went in, I didn’t talk to anyone prior about what I was about to experience. I was weak and boot camp broke me. It took me years to mature to a point of mindfulness about it. I was just close minded and stuck in my beta ways. Others will have different experiences. If I knew what I knew now, and not some dumb 18yo, I would of done things different. But hindsight is 20-20. Keep your goals priority. Play the game and keep your eyes/ears open and mouth shut.

[–]McDrMuffinMan0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

I appreciate the insight. I will really keep it i mind. One remaining questions i have for you is what does this mean?

Without the military, I wouldn’t be where I am right now.

are you happy or sad with where you are in life?

Thanks

[–]Theebenedetto2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

I am happy where I am at in life. Good job, a few hobbies, friends etc. I was probably in a different spot as you before joining. It was 2008, I just barely graduated high school, dropped out of college, worked a shit job with no hope. I never even considered the military. My mom jokingly suggested it. After the military is when I really improved myself. I resented PT in the Navy and wasn’t till after where I really started working out. I had an awakening on deployment while lonely in my bunk in the desert. I lost 60 lbs that deployment and got out of the navy at the end of my term a few months later. I went to college and worked the veteran angle when I graduated and landed myself a good job I don’t hate. Employers love hearing veteran. Ymmv, my epiphany came around 22. I am not a huge fan of having one step in the door and one out as with the reservists but I have never done it either so idk. They control you yet you’re free. You may feel left out. Not sure. Good luck. I think some branches have Nation Call to Service which is like 3 years active then college but not sure if that exist anymore.

[–]TacoMedic5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

Pretty much the same experience as you. I hated PT in the army and never worked out otherwise except when deployed and had nothing to do. Now I’m a reservist in college and I’ve never eaten cleaner or worked out more willingly. My epiphany also occurred about 22/23. Working at the Veterans Center at school is a fucking cake walk and having disabled veteran on your resume is fucking awesome for employers.

The field I’m studying for has so many options available for veterans it’s almost unfair. I got offers at the majority of the universities I applied to for transferring despite having a shit 3.2 gpa because of the GI bill.

As much as I hate the army, it’s the best decision I ever made.

[–]Theebenedetto1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Hell yeah man.

[–]pwnerofnoob11 points12 points  (5 children) | Copy

Sacrificing your life for your society that is propping up and being run by women? Definitely not the cuckiest thing a man could do, lol.

[–]McDrMuffinMan1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I get that perspective. But wouldn't that make almost any sacrifice beta?

like sacrificing your ime to go out to get laid?

(I know not the best example, but logically it should stand)

[–]BusterVadge1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

That's a silly way to look at it. No matter what, you're sacrificing freedom by contributing a gynocentric society. Even if you're just working a 9-5 career, you're a cog in the big machine.

If someone wants to be a warrior, let them fight. It's manlier than sitting behind a desk at all day at least.

[–]pwnerofnoob0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Fair points. I can't be alone thinking I'd much prefer trading time(work) and not what is essentially my life(high probability of death) to be able do what I want outside of earning money.

[–]_cyrus980 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Most “warriors” sit behind a desk from 9-5 lol, speaking from experience

[–]Domebeers1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

"Hey white man, you are shit, your society is shit, fuck you I hope you die. Anyway sign up for the forever wars because you're a patriot!"

American white men should boycott the army. White men in any western country, really.

[–]joe346541 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Depends on your unit/job.

[–]McDrMuffinMan0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

im considering being a beauracrat/reservist just to add it to my resume/dating profile.

also Joining the marine reserve to also help pay fo school.

Would you reccomend against it?

[–]joe346541 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I joined for the school money. I'm glad to be out now but it's definitely worth it. My life wouldn't be nearly what it is without the military.

[–]WarDiaz2091 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

They need dick from somewhere, if hes not around of course its going to happen

[–]thechaosz1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's rare they don't. Woman mostly are not worthy of your vows, half your lives work.

They know what they're getting into when they marry a military man, but then claim they're lonely and blah blah blah

[–]thechaosz1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Easiest sex ever. We all hit the bars when the ship sails or the planes go.

I've literally had a girl kissing on me and grabbing my junk while you can see the carrier in the distance (San Diego).

Awalt. And before the White Knight fake red pillers chime in, sexual strategy is amoral.

Never marry.

Question OP, how did you find out? Word of mouth I imagine being deployed.

[–]Pelikahn100 points101 points  (4 children) | Copy

There is no point in keeping a relationship going even when only deploying for those fabled “three month deployments”. The women always cheat, the men always fall apart. Anytime I deployed I’d break it off with everyone and tell them I might be back around when/if I get back.

I usually never call them back, it’s never really worth it.

[–]jarthan[S] 33 points34 points  (3 children) | Copy

It's definitely not worth it. I thought I could make it work, but deep now I knew this was gonna happen. Just wasn't thinking clearly on it

[–]babybopp3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

Dude same thing happened to me. Not even three weeks and she already hoped on another dick thinking she wouldn't get caught. Hard next.. BPD.! No such thing as long distance relationship. I busted her with icloud uploading pictures to account phone in my name. How did u find out?

[–]_cyrus982 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Same I wanna know cause I might have to deal with this in the near future

[–]thechaosz2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Don't put yourself in a position to have to. Learn from others mistakes

[–]PhaedrusHunt46 points47 points  (4 children) | Copy

You could use some advice from good old Uncle Terrence Popp. Check out his youtube page. Retired Master Sergeant, airborne ranger.

He was a special forces leader and pro kickboxer, and his wife STILL cheated then divorce raped him.

His youtube channel is hilarious, insightful, and you know it's truthful because it's enraging to women.

[–]jarthan[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'll look into it, thanks for the recommendation!

[–]djc_tech2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

thanks for this, just watched a couple...

[–]1Red_Pill_Brotherhood1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Seen his vids for years now. Winning!

[–]PhaedrusHunt1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah he's freaking hilarious.

[–]DiskKiller223 points24 points  (0 children) | Copy

Congratulations. You just dodged a bullet. Divorce would have been incredibly expensive.

[–]bakamoney32 points33 points  (1 child) | Copy

Trp literally despises ldrs. And for valid reasons.

[–]jarthan[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children) | Copy

They dont work

[–]TitsAndWhiskey15 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy

  1. Break it off
  2. Make her famous
  3. Buy a Dodge Charger

SOP, man. Sorry to hear, but it happens all the time. I was just talking last night about the ONE military couple I know that never got involved with swinging or cheating on deployment.

[–]newtothepill12331 points32 points  (16 children) | Copy

That's rough bro - All the best to you, sounds like you're on the right path ahead.

How did you find out about it all?

[–]jarthan[S] 33 points34 points  (15 children) | Copy

She had already checked out weeks ago. I called her after she got home from work last night and she was driving again saying she was getting something to eat(which was super out of the ordinary). Said she would call me when she got home...never did. I knew for sure after about 2 or 3 hours of no response, then called me after she woke up and that's really it.

[–]CSauceHockey6 points7 points  (14 children) | Copy

Wait so how are you 100% sure? I know trust your gut but did she admit it at all or was there hard evidence?

[–]jarthan[S] 34 points35 points  (13 children) | Copy

She admitted

[–]CSauceHockey15 points16 points  (9 children) | Copy

What was your reaction right away? Did she say anything else?

Sorry to hear it man, I am just interested how it played out.

[–]jarthan[S] 26 points27 points  (8 children) | Copy

She was crying and she apologized. I told her I was gonna arrange for my things and hung up. She was wearing one of my sweatshirts...not sure if it was a last ditch emotional attempt to get me to stay or what

She tried calling and messaged me a bunch for about an hour or two later before giving up

[–]cracksniffer666[🍰] 60 points61 points  (5 children) | Copy

How sad it must be for her, being honest.. Literally can't helping yourself from jumping on a dick. It's truly sad

[–]mrmaika1026 points27 points  (0 children) | Copy

Almost makes me understand why guys get black pilled.

[–][deleted]  (3 children) | Copy

[deleted]

[–]thechaosz3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

If I was truly in love porn would get me through if I had to, but that's knowing I married a military woman and I could actually fall in love with a broad

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy

[deleted]

[–]CSauceHockey9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

You are better off, thank god for letting you know early.

[–]toughenup20164 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

You did the right thing!

[–]Brutal134 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

She admitted like I cheated? And that’s it?

[–]jarthan[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah. It was pretty obvious what was going on during the hours leading up to it

[–]thechaosz1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

That's very rare. At least it wasn't in doubt

[–]Zanford46 points47 points  (13 children) | Copy

Add this lesson to your list

No 5. Long distance relationships DO NOT WORK, and that's what being a deployed soldier is.

This is ridiculously common for deployed soldiers, and god knows how many never find out (since they're on another fucking continent).

[–]jarthan[S] 11 points12 points  (12 children) | Copy

Definitely something I should have included

[–]Zanford28 points29 points  (11 children) | Copy

This is one of the reasons that an extremely r-selected, slut-celebrating civilization is ultimately weak. When the shit hits the fan, a with invaders, a civilization needs to be able to convince a bunch of young fit men to go risk their lives. Traditionally, part of that deal has been knowing that if they had a woman back home she would be faithful and take good care of any kids, and that even if he was single, his service would raise his status and help him find a wife.

It's tough to convince men to risk their lives defending your civilization when they know they'll just get cheated on.

Also tough to convince them to defend your civilization against invaders when you're paying the invaders to sneak in and shit out kids by the millions.

[–]toughenup20168 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

You are spot on. Sex, exclusivity, starting a family was a reward. Now, that reward is gone and so motivation.

[–]kfd_capital1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

I forgot who said but they nailed it along with your reply:

"Soldiers are expected to adhere to a code of honor profaned by the society they protect."

Yeesh, no wonder recruitment numbers are low

[–]Whambamwham0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Just means they are doing their job well

[–]thechaosz0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

When you see bumbling Agent Orange being in bed with a communist country, it doesn't actually fire up people to go want to die in foreign lands

[–]temporyHealthAcc-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

So there are only white people in the military?

[–]LarrySelllers-5 points-4 points  (3 children) | Copy

Sentiments like these reek of incelisque moralisms and slut shaming. TRP preaches spinning plates, judging the women who do the same is hypocritical and obnoxious. Also vague racism and really politics in general has nothing to do with TRP and really doesn't belong in this sub at all. r and k selection isn't about fucking societies lmao, the terms are for distinguishing organisms like fruit flies from cats..

If you want to fuck women, you can't think along the lines of slutting around being bad for society. You want them to think you are a fuckboy

[–]LethalShade4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Get out of here you cucked moron. Sexes aren't equal thus their behaviors aren't judged equally.

This is TRP 101, go to the sidebar and stop writing out pathetically whiny comments.

[–]Zanford0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Sentiments like these reek of incelisque moralisms

Did that sound fancy in your head?

[–]thechaosz-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

No slut shaming here. I'm the only openly proud fuckboi I know and am willing to sleep with almost anyone regardless of relationship to me. Obviously some exceptions for not shitting where you eat.

Nothing better than the bars when the ship sails

[–]Sin-Silver16 points17 points  (0 children) | Copy

If you ditched her beforehand you wouldn't learnt a vital life lesson. That counts for something. Shame about your stuff though.

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev8 points9 points  (3 children) | Copy

Stop whatever you’re doing right now, and go watch Terrence Popp’s “deploy ahoy”. Also his vid on “Administrative Violence”. I am on my mobile right now, but will post links later.

Deploy Ahoy

Administrative Violence

Edited to add links.

[–]RStonePT1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

vouching for this. It was my introduction to the redpill, and these videos did more to save my ass than anything else in here

[–]toughenup20160 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

[–]Radiogerat0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

DEPLOY AHOY! | Redonkulas.com (7 years ago)

099% liked -|-----------------------------.

[–]vapel1fe420696 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sorry to hear man. Good for you for making the right choice and breaking it off. You win some you learn some. Stay safe out there man!

[–]user201806205 points6 points  (7 children) | Copy

Damn... Bpd is a bitxh, isn't it.

How did that manifest for you?

Mine was love bombing, just perfectly hooked me.... The discarded me hard. 48 hours from excited to see me, to breakup via SMS.

[–]jarthan[S] 10 points11 points  (2 children) | Copy

Same for me. She made me feel like a king, but also got insanely jealous and mad if I even looked at another girl.

Went from crying to me on the phone about how much she loves me and cant wait till I get home so we can start our lives together, to tripping and falling right onto another dick in 48 hours

[–]volvostupidshit4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

They cheat when their fear of abandonment gets triggered. So even if she really loves you, you will still get cheated. They say they really love their partners so hard they will cheat on them to get attention. That's why they are called borderlines, they borderline between normal and psychotic.

Nothing you can do. At least you never married her.

[–]user201806200 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

God damn... The same 48 hour turnaround! That was the thing that really bent my brain. I mean, I get a girl changing her mind... But a 180 in such a short window .. damn.

And wait, you were out of town when it happened? That's freakishly coincidental. Same for me.

[–]watchguy450 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

How did she love bomb you?

[–]user201806200 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Then usual I guess...

She said things that touched my soul. Said she was so attracted to me. Said she didn't deserve me. Said I was precious to her Said I loved her so well Said I was perfect Said I did all the right things Said I said all the perfect things Said she knew she could take me anywhere and people would be so impressed with her

And she backed up everything by being physically affectionate, freely escalating with minimal asd. Being vocal when she was with me. Etc

I had never experienced anything like it. And it was a super short relationship. If it was longer, and she discarded.me like that... I might have killed myself. Honestly.

Oh, and she knew we weren't yet "dating"... And she didn't protest that... Instead she just asked if I might someday consider dating her. Damn.

[–]p-tittyy20 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Anytime a woman says that she “doesn’t deserve you,” 100% of the time she has either cheated already, or is planning on it. This is gospel.

[–]user201806200 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I won't argue that... I think it's possible that she was feeling a bit low, and I charmed her enough that she gave in to a temporary doing... Already knowing that she wouldn't stay with me. But if that's the case, she was a dammned good actor.

I don't think she was "cheating" at the time, because we weren't even "dating"... So she was free to go out with other guys, and vice versa

Honestly, I've accepted that it's over... But I'd give anything to know what actually happened. It's an itch I know I'll never ever be able to scratch, and it's infuriating. She has all the answer I would so desperately like to have ... But I'll never know them.

And I had an online thing with another girl that defended girls ghosting like she did ... And honestly I was gobsmacked. Like, how the hell could anyone defend an action like ghosting. The trauma an unexpected breakup leaves is mind bending. And girls be like, whatever, you have no right to expect closure.

Fuck women, man.

[–]SalesAficionado10 points11 points  (4 children) | Copy

Im sorry you're going through this man. Somewhat the same shit happened to me 3 years ago. I was married tho and the paint was very acute. Really destroyed me. But from the ashes, the phoenix rises. Keep the good work.

[–]watchguy451 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Are you in a better spot now? Sorry you went through that

[–]SalesAficionado0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Yeah man, it took a long time to heal. Really helped me grow as a man.

[–]jarthan[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Did you have any trust issues with anyone else after?

[–]SalesAficionado5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Nan man. The opposite actually. You realize that you can only trust yourself. Women come and go brother.

[–]smhfamswag9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy

It’s 2020 and niggas still doing long distance relationships lmaoooo

DO NOT GET MARRIED. DO NOT DO LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS.

[–]Monkitail0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

FaceTime fuck boys

[–]HurricaneHugues3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

You broke up with her while deployed? That's kinda dumb. Mail your apartment key to your closest friend or family member. Have them check your place/change the locks, then mail you back the new key.

[–]ChadBroChillington8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

They all cheat dude. Doesn't matter if you are deployed, if she's "BPD". Break it off with this one, the next one will eventually cheat too, and the next one. It's part of what you sign up for with an LTR. At least this one actually confessed. Keep 2 in the kitty and this shit won't even bother you.

[–]1matrixtospartanatLV9 points10 points  (4 children) | Copy

5) DON’T LIVE WITH HER UNTIL YOU ARE MARRIED OR ENGAGED AND ABOUT TO BE MARRIED.

6) NO LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS.

And my advice to my son in the US Army; NEVER GET MARRIED WHILE IN THE MILITARY.

So yeah, he didn’t listen, and now he’s getting divorced.

[–]jamaicanmecrzy1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

How do you know if you want to live with someone for say 18+ years at least if you dont try it out first? Say i wanted to raise a family with someone. Wouldn’t testing the waters and making sure your compatible in that environment be good? Although i do believe numbers from arranged marriages seem to be better than typical western arrangements. Seems reckless to start a family/marriage without living together first.

[–]thechaosz1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

DO

NOT

GET

MARRIED.

It's a piece of paper, means nothing, and you sign half if not more of your life away to the whims of a broad.

Seriously, this isn't hard

[–]fat255man0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

True

[–]maljo248 points9 points  (3 children) | Copy

How many deployed guys cheat?

[–]MisterMarbles19884 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

A fair amount. It goes both ways and this sub is giddy over bashing females when they do it. It happens all the time on deployments.

[–]DarkJayBR1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

In medieval times it was very common and expected that husbands would betray their wives with other woman, in wars. The wives understood that they were probably not in the best frame of mind and didn't care much. And the other way around was quite common as well, with cowardly men who stayed in the city while all the brave men went to war, just to fuck the soldiers' wives.

In recent times, the betrayals of men in the army have greatly decreased, as it is quite risky, if you are caught cheating, you can be expelled for dishonor by the army. While wives infidelity skyrocketed to the point where it became a stereotype.

[–]LateralThinker134 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Surprised your NCO didn't tell you this would happen. It's endemic to deployments.

Also, yeah, don't fuck with BPD. "Don't stick your dick in crazy" exists for a reason.

[–]IXseed3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thank you for your service, sir.

Prior AF here, in the short time I was in we had 2 guys have their wives cheat on them when we were deployed (one with one of our own coworkers). It's sad but now you know why ppl say no LDRs. Women NEED to have you around. If they don't get whatever feeling you give her when you're present they'll find it elsewhere REGARDLESS of ya'll relationship.

See if you can have a friend back home look after your stuff. Maybe get in and document anything ya'll have so if you get back and it's missing you can sue her for it. If she has access to any of your money cut her off NOW.

[–]notashittyperson693 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Let her enjoy the dick while you enjoy the oil and the money

[–]Nofapislit1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ty you had the self discipline to hard next maybe don’t get married till ur home steady.

[–]RPthrowaway1231 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thank you for your service. I'm sorry that this happened to you, but you're going to emerge even stronger. And you're right, you're already in the shape of your life so get out there and slay!

[–]FrenCan3161 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

That closing statement got me fired up!

[–]Cryptomineand691 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I wonder what percentage of Ashley Madison users have boyfriends/husbands in the military

[–]jsphere2561 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Don't worry gents, I'm sure this doesn't happen often.

[–]Jesusonacake1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Was it Jodie that did it too? Seems to happen a lot to our newly RP military men. Jodie bending their wifeys over behind a barrel n showing em the 50 states

[–]jarthan[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Fucking Jodie will get ya

[–]Jesusonacake2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Happens to the best of us if you don't know any better but now you do big fella. Be happy it's now rather den when you back home. Semper Fi.

[–]L2diy1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Props on you for taking responsibility for your actions. AWALT man. Lift and move on. Good on you.

Thanks for your service.

[–]Redditgoodaccount1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Also people in the RP are not vaccinated for buttfuck. But if tou weren’t red pill in a month you’d take her back _O_/

[–]volvostupidshit0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That's what separate us from the simps.

[–]DudeWithAMood121 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Dude I’m so incredibly fucking sorry. Firstly, I want to say thank you for your service. I can promise you everyone here in this sub appreciates it. I was cheated on and dumped on my birthday, I know it hurts like hell and I can only imagine transitioning that onto a fiancé.

But I can promise you this. Time will pass and it won’t hurt as much. You’ll be free to go out there and find someone who not only respects you, but that you deserve. This sort of behavior is absolutely unacceptable. And tbh if she would cheat now she’d cheat if you were married, and then you’d have a whole new set of problems.

Treat yourself to something nice, pick up a new hobby. For me, I started riding motorcycles and love it and it’s helped me recover immensely. I’m not gonna be like the jabronies on this subreddit who shit on OPs. You made a commitment with this woman and you held your end and she didn’t hold hers, that says enough about her character that you should be able to go forwards knowing what would’ve happened had you two officially become married.

I’m sincerely hoping the best for you OP. Things will get better with time.

[–]IntelligenceLtd2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Jodie

I dont agree with american military policy but I second everything else here fuck these weak woman and carry on as you are.

[–]_cyrus982 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Finally some thing empathetic. I know the rp mentality may look down on that wuss shit, but sometimes it’s important. So thanks man, for being a bro.

[–]DudeWithAMood121 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Of course dude. We’ve all been in a painful situation that brought us here and I’ll never forget that.

[–]Zero-Milk1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Don't fuck with BPD

I wish I could make a global PSA for exactly this. I had no real understanding of what personality disorders even were until I was forced to interact with one.

It would benefit everyone in the dating world to read up on BPD, and narcissism in general, to gain a better understanding of just how serious of a gamble it is to get involved with someone like that. Never again.

[–]ivanlee11260 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Whats BPD

[–]Jesusonacake3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Bi polar disorder bucko

[–]ivanlee11261 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks

[–]bodaciousbonsai2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Borderline Personality Disorder. Not Bi Polar.

[–]ivanlee11260 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks

[–]Merica9110 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

LFG

[–]InkD_PipeHittR0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Enjoy your new found freedom.

[–]jenovajunkie0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah, fuck that.

Get your shit and leave her ass.

[–]Folknust0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

What a cunt...

[–]Youngyoda890 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

What feeling did you have that she moved on? And what do you mean by if you have the slightest feeling.

[–]amphix3390 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Bro I'm not sure how old you are but pussy is getting better and better. Great time to be single again, have a ball brother

[–]DeuxPistolets0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Your ex had BPD? Sorry that you went through that. My ex girlfriend of 8 years with BPD did the same thing. She just split and immediately moved on with the guy she was cheating on me with. It was almost like I didn’t exist. Sorry you went through that. It’s hard.

[–]Snowaey-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

this is not a question lmfao

[–][deleted]  (2 children) | Copy

[deleted]

[–]jarthan[S] 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Dad went to prison for over a decade when she was a really young age.

Pattern of cheating in previous relationships

Unusually high N count

Writing was all over the wall but I just put sheet up to hide it. Totally set myself up, but I guess that's how you truly learn

[–]Monkitail0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

N count? Black dudes?



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