A woman’s submission to her man is a gift. Imagine it as a cellar of very fine wine that left unopened grows better with time. When a woman is pretty sure a man is worthy of it; she opens and gives him one bottle of fine wine to see what care he takes with the precious contents. Does he slosh it into a red solo cup, guzzle half the bottle, or carefully pour it into a wine glass and savor each sip?

If he proves trustworthy, she continues to give him a bottle of wine at a time until she is certain he will take care of her wine cellar. Then she gives him the keys to unlock the door.

Translation: A man earns your submission. Be wise. If you give your submission to a man who does not appreciate your gift, you will be less trusting of men and it will be harder to give it to the man who has earned it.

So does that mean you don’t let a man tell you what to do? Of course not! There will be many times when it is in your best interest to listen to what men say and do what they advise. Think of repairs to appliances, your car, your plumbing, electrical wiring, tree trimming, and so forth. I know there are women in these jobs, but they are few and far between. You would be foolish not to find a man you trust to help you in these types of circumstances. However, accepting their good advice and acting on it is not submission.

There may also be times you cry on a man’s shoulder at work or in a social situation and take comfort from his hug and his kindness. Showing your vulnerability to a man when you are in genuine distress is not submission.

So what is submission? I believe it a complete trust that your man has you and your children’s best interest first in mind with all decisions he makes. Because of this trust, you let him lead, and do your best to obey his wishes. I believe it should only be given to one man in a monogamous relationship. Others may disagree.

Submission is not easy and only comes with effort and time in a relationship. Sometimes it takes a while to recognize just how wise and competent your man can be. It is small acts of concession and cheerfulness that grow stronger as each of you finds happiness in his leadership and the direction your relationship is headed.

The important thing to remember: You do not give your submission to your SO because he is a man. You give it because he acts like a man. This idea of putting his needs first is only appropriate when doing so helps him to be the best leader he can be. If he is not a leader, if he can’t manage his own life, if he is undisciplined and unreliable, he does not deserve your submission and will never appreciate it.