Thoughts on Home School

DoersOfTheWord · 2020-02-01T22:29:43+00:00

I home school. Here's some perspective. I used to be a teacher in middle school and high school. Public school is largely a joke. Out of the "eight" hours you spend there, you probably get two actual hours of instruction. Most of the time is spent managing that many kids. Everything just takes a lot of time. School year is 180 days. So if you can manage a couple hours a day of instruction, your kids will be smarter than every other kid their age.

"But school is more than education, it's about socialization!" Tell that to the EMO kids in High School. The stoners. The bullies. The active shooters. When people say this shit I'm amazed. Don't they remember high school?

I mean, where are your kids going to learn that being rich is "cool" and that "parents are stupid" if you don't send them to school. Where will they learn that Jesus is a lie but all the woke BS is true.

Most importantly, I see a lot of my kids. They are here when I leave for work and here when I arrive home. They spend a lot of time with momma and lots of time with the homeschool coop and other friends that homeschool. The whole family can travel at will and we can "do school" on location or just skip it..

Lastly, I think it's especially good to homeschool boys. We spend A LOT of time outside learning. Public school is largely built to educate girls and break boys to fit the mold.

slappysq · 2020-02-01T22:48:48+00:00

We’re homeschooling our four kids. Not Christian but conservative. No way are we sending them to public school to have blue pills fed to them all day.

OsmiumZulu · 2020-02-02T07:06:29+00:00

Scripture presents parents with the burden of educating their children. Not ensuring their children receive education, but actually providing instruction. While most verses refer specifically to moral instruction, we must not forget that nearly every subject of learning (history, philosophy, civics, ethics, science, etc) come with major moral implications.

Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it. - Proverbs 22:6

While this verse teaches the importance of giving proper instruction to a child, notice that this verse cuts both ways: if a child is given bad instruction they are likewise likely to continue into old age with it.

You shall teach them to your children, talking of them when you are sitting in your house, and when you are walking by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. - Deut 11:19

And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. - Deut 6:6-7

Who is to teach your children God's way? You are. This is an imperative command. Parents are to be teachers of their children in the home. Even if you limit this verse strictly to religious education, you are still left with a command that parents, not pastors, tutors, or Sunday school teachers, are to be providing their children with religious education. Every Christian is to be "homeschooled" at least in this capacity.

The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother. -Proverbs 29:15

Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him. - Proverbs 22:15

Hear, my son, your father's instruction, and forsake not your mother's teaching, - Proverbs 1:8

Notice the pattern here? There is an inherent expectation and assumption that parents will be providing their children with instruction (here not limited to religious instruction).

A disciple is not above his teacher, but everyone when he is fully trained will be like his teacher. - Luke 6:40

Perhaps the most haunting verse of the bunch is this: good or bad children will take on the qualities of their teachers. Take a look around at the current landscape of public educators and ask yourself: do I want my kids to end up like them? Unless you want your children to become politically correct soy infused leftists who hate God the answer is a resounding "no".

For the curious, I was homeschooled until 8th grade when I went into middle school. By the end of 10th grade I couldn't stand it anymore and started college. The focus of my home education was on how to learn rather than what to learn. This consistently gives me a massive advantage in adapting to changing circumstances and learning concepts and skills quickly.

Was I awkward when I entered the "real world"? Absolutely, but I had learned how to learn and overcame it. Were my parents professors or something? No, my mom was the primary educator in the home since my dad worked and she never went to college. She is an intelligent woman, but the biggest thing is that she had time and only a few kids to educate. As others have pointed out, the true number of hours of real educating happening in public schools is tiny compared to the amount of time spent herding cats. We only spent about 3 hours a day on schoolwork 9 months of the year and I consistently performed grades ahead of the national average.

If you hadn't guessed by now my wife and I are going to be homeschooling our kids and I believe more Christians should too.

Chinchilla_the_Hun · 2020-02-01T23:31:24+00:00

Here's some food for thought...the US public school system is based on the Prussian school system, which was developed to produce obedient soldiers. The US system instead produces obedient workers. Since 1880 not much has changed. (Pick up any of John Taylor Gatto's books for more explanation.)

At the end of the day, parents have the responsibility of raising their children. This means every aspect of their being: intellectual, physical, emotional, and spiritual. Choosing to place them in an education environment when you have the freedom to choose a more hands-on alternative (i.e. one parent doesn't have to work) is effectively outsourcing that responsibility.

Praexology · 2020-02-02T21:46:22+00:00

I do believe socialization is something they are going to be missing if they dont go. I see a lot of people saying it's a weak arguement, that kids will be taught the wrong thing by their peers, that schools are taught to break down boys and to over edify girls and these are my thoughts on it:

1) "Kids will he taught xyz bad thing in school" Your kids will eventually become young adults that will he thrown into a world that already behaves poorly and they likely won't be able to adjust competently. Plus they will now be older and less likely to take your guidance because your decision to homeschool made them sheltered.

2) That schools are taught to break down boys and over edify girls. The whole world is like this, if you expose your kids early on to reality then you can also help be there to shape their reaction. But if they grow up and at some point go elsewhere (college or just move away) now they are left to their own -typically incompetent because they weren't taught through homeschoolcoping- coping and boundary methods.

3) Per u/doersoftheword

"But school is more than education, it's about socialization!" Tell that to the EMO kids in High School. The stoners. The bullies. The active shooters. When people say this ... I'm amazed. Don't they remember high school?

Most of them grow out of that, but overwhelmingly I see homeschool kids struggle to adapt in late teens and beyond. I do remember highschool and it was fine.

Closing notes: Dross, it sounds like you may be under the assumption that parents can absolve themselves of raising their own kids if they send them to public school. Public school is admittedly a cesspool - but it is a good representation of the real world and it could give you valuable time during your kids earlier developement to show them how a Christian is suppose to act or responde. Pulling them out is a miniature equivlent of Amish people closing themselves off to the world. Christ has called us to be in the world, but not of it. Kids need to learn how to be IN it.

DoersOfTheWord · 2020-02-02T18:04:55+00:00

Ok, I posted that you should homeschool, but let me now tell you what to do if you decide against it. You (and your wife) will need to personally get heavily engaged in the PTA and you should know your school superintendent on a first name basis. Consider donating a small amount of money to all the candidates that run for that position so your name is on their lists. Meet with them regularly, if possible, introduce your kids to them too. Before your kids hit the school they are slated to attend, get to know the Principals, Secretaries, Nurses, Counselors, Coaches, etc. There are meet and greets to facilitate this, but you should get in the habit of setting an appointment to show up (bring donuts or whatever). You should be engaged in finding out which teachers are more senior/effective/Christian/conservative (whatever your interested in) and usher your child through the system into those classes using your influence. More importantly, you'll know the teachers your child should avoid. Then you'll need to visit on a random but regular basis and sit in the class with your kid. They should allow and fully support this. Gather feedback and present it to everyone involved. You'll need to repeat this for every new school through High School. If you don't have flexibility for a full day, you can show up for lunch.

If all this sounds like a lot of work, it is. But having worked in the school system, I've seen parents put this into practice and their kids benefited greatly.

Lastly, if you truly invest this much time in your kids public education, you'll likely end up developing good rapport with your child's classmates. You can become a trusted adult that can help with social issues that perhaps teachers can't address. You can parley your influence into positive change for the culture at the school and likely have lots of overt ministry opportunities with young people. I suggest getting plugged in with effective youth ministers that are active in the school system or groups like FCA.

sywonsmumu · 2020-02-01T23:31:58+00:00

Go ahead. There’s a lot of resources and programs out there to help with homeschooling too. You can sign your kids up in activities and school clubs for socializing. Plus teaching is more of facilitating now, a more sink or swim standpoint.

Close friends of mine were homeschooled and they graduated from good colleges, have their own lives now.

Stryker7200 · 2020-02-02T02:54:02+00:00

I was homeschooled k-12. My first class room environment was at college, which I graduated from with a bachelors of science in economics. I am planning on homeschooling my two kids starting next fall. If you have any questions or need resources PM me. It was a good experience.

Tpetplayr · 2020-02-02T05:31:22+00:00

I was homeschooled, k-12 and my parents were both teachers before I was born. I went to a "homeschool - help center" 8-12 grade and made some good friends that way, but I also had other friends that were also homeschooled. Education was good. I feel like I didnt lack the opportunity to learn or make friends. What was lacking, and in hindsight what I wish had been done differently was: I wish my parents had started teaching me about what happens after high school. "The real world." I had 0 thoughts about what I was going to do, until halfway through senior year, and I had no clue. Hated scholastic type learning, so college was a no. Learn how your kid learns the best and what they like, and give them tons of options in those arenas. Start them working at 14-15. I cleaned a machine shop at 15, I wish I had started earlier, and learned more from the guy I worked for. Anyway, I will absolutely homeschool when I have kids. Dont be afraid of a challenge. Its basically just discipleship. That's it. Just you're teaching them about what's needed to survive and thrive in the physical life, as well as the spiritual life.

rocknrollchuck · 2020-02-03T16:28:16+00:00

I don't have any experience in this area, but here's a good article I found with some things to think about.

In addition to the points in the article, I would ask you this: yes, your wife could likely provide a good, quality education in traditional school subjects like math, english, history, etc. But what if your children are inclined toward technology and computers? Or car repair? Are those things she is prepared to help them learn as well?

Lastly, and most importantly, how much have the two of you prayed about this?

markreadsred · 2020-02-05T02:48:19+00:00

The overlapping benefits and costs of public schooling vs homeschooling seem to always fall on social competency.

I was youth pastor and the kids who were home schooled were always the smartest and the most morally obedient, but couldn't return a wrong order at a fast food restaurant or talk to a stranger without a script.

The public school kids had an easier time in crowds and with strangers because every three years or so they got bumped up into a new school with more of their peers and had to learn social skills outside of a family dynamic.

As a youth pastor there was always a desire from the public school parents to somehow get the kids to behave where as there was always a fear from the home school parents that their kids would misbehave.

All in all, with a good faith background i feel public school is the best thing for kids and teens because it teaches them how to exist in a larger social world. this assumes and almost demands that parents do more than mail it in and actually talk to and engage their kids about their lives. driving them from home-school-youth group-home again doesn't count.

LatentThorn · 2020-02-06T04:55:39+00:00

Its encouraging to see the other responses on here.

I’ve also taught high school in secular and in Christian contexts. Homeschooling is not a option for (small-o) orthodox Christians. It is the only morally righteous option. I can qualify that, but most of the reasons have been unpacked by others on here already, a pleasant surprise.

Most arguments in favor of public schooling would be motivated by the loss of a second income (think yearly vacations, hobbies, and time for most of us) and some latent first-wave feminist assumptions. A lot of the Biblical impetus in favor of homeschooling is hinged on the wife’s commanded (not optional) responsibility to the domain in the home (and how exactly one defines that). Once that is justified, homeschooling is a much easier pill to swallow.

Some have pointed out that homeschooling can really screw kids up: mainly because the flaws (along with all the other traits, both positive and negative) found within the parent are magnified in the child to a much greater degree than in public schools. I point this out because realizing this reveals the egalitarian and communistic aims of a public school. It also reveals our revulsion to Biblical "authoritarianism". Most of us would not fear home school as much as we fear the potential power parents have to hurt their children through homeschooling. (At least, this is the best argument we can think up for homeschooling being morally repugnant). We fear centralized power because that allows the possibility for great damage, and yet we have to realize that to stop the potential for great evil means to stop the potential for great good as well. On top of that, it also shows a trained hatred of inequality. "How dare we allow kids to be poor because their parents were poor, and the rich to generate rich children, the wise to generate wise children" and so on the tirade goes. Nothing in the Bible marks inequality as morally wrong. In fact, the Bible points to a symbiosis of the inequalities found between believers. The language of the Bible is not comrade and comrade, or citizen and citizen. It is slave and master, elder and layman, Christ and the church, husband and wife, parents and children.

As has been pointed out by others, the socialization argument is trash, as is the "bubble" argument. If the parents are weird, the kids are going to be weird. So what. The upside is, if the parents are cool, the kids will be cool. Sure they won't know the latest Office reference (at least I hope not), but they will be too busy making money, having babies, and praising God. A little more edifying.

The bubble burst (kids going prodigal as soon as they are allowed some independence) largely results from parents failing to understand the tension of being in the world but not of the world. Homeschooling does not mean your in a commune by default. Neither does homeschooling eliminate the opportunity to sin, and neither does homeschooling eliminate the opportunity for independence. The point is to put training wheels on, not buy the kid a tricycle.

Some resources to look up:

John Taylor Gatto (mentioned earlier by somebody else) - he wrote an essay called "I quit, I think" that gives a good taste for his work. It is less than a page long and should be easy to read.

Voddie Baucham's "Children of Ceaser" Part 1-2 is a two part bunker buster of a sermon, but depending on your denomination/theology, it may not be right for you. Well worth checking out either way. You might have to dig for you it, but it can be found on youtube.

Note: there are extreme circumstances which kids should/must be sent to school (single parent situations, low income). However, this makes up about 1% of the Western church. Schooling must never be the preferred option. Low income does not mean that you cannot afford a big house, a boat, a two car garage, or flat screen without having your wife work. Low income means you cannot provide food and shelter, and you cannot downsize because their is no smaller house size to downsize too, and you've sold your TV, boat, cabin, iBrick, Tesla, whatever, and you still can't pay your ~~fiber optic supernova imploding~~ wireless dial-up receiver bill, then you might be low income.

lololasaurus · 2020-02-07T05:40:40+00:00

My feedback - haste to do it. Your FO is on board, you are light years ahead of me there. Doo it

NikthePieEater · 2020-02-02T07:04:44+00:00

I was homeschooled and while struggled with social interaction, that was because I'm just dumb in some manner. My siblings were fine and not some weirdo on reddit. :)

bowwayjy · 2020-02-08T21:04:49+00:00

I'm late here but I saw this during the week and wanted to respond to you. I'm 23 and was home schooled entirely up until college. I grew up in a fairly large home school community and knew tons of other home school kids. I think I definitely am qualified to reveal a lot about it. I want to give you my insight.

My belief is that generally, it doesn't actually matter as much as all the parents said it did. The people in this post saying stuff like "Public school is a joke" and "Boys get feminized at public school" are exactly the same kind of people that were the parents in my home school community. It wasn't an obsession, but there was a very clear stance that public school was this god-awful place where kids get a lousy education, are more inclined to be bullied, and are more inclined to fall into sin. There were a few kids in my community who were the geniuses - maybe they had skipped a grade, went to some spelling bee championship as an 8 year old, or were making some notable academic achievement - and they were the poster children of home schooling. Surely you know this stereotype for home schooled kids. They were usually the perfectly innocent and seemingly sinless kids too who would never cuss or whatever. We attributed them to home schooling and they were often used as examples for why homeschooling is better than a public school. So many parents proudly touted how they were such a better educator than the local schools could ever be for their kid. I believed it all as a teenager, naturally.

Then I got to college and realized how silly all that was. The public schooled and home schooled Christians all turned out the same way. Some went wild and crazy, some seemingly went to live perfect lives. Some were geniuses, some were not (I was not one of the geniuses). Some took their faith radically, some did not. I would ask my new friends who had been public schooled about their experiences and it wasn't the narrative I had heard. I chuckle at reading some people in here saying that public school is going to make your boys more feminized and home schooling will make them "alpha" or tough. That is absolutely ridiculous, and I hope you won't buy into woo-woo home school magic theories like that. If I'm honest, being at the end of the standard education track now (college grad), I look back and see very little reason for home schooling outside of parents simply getting to possibly see their kids more.

I do, however, see plenty of reason not to home school. Perhaps the sole biggest con of home schooling is the one we all know: loss of social exposure. I'm not just talking about being in class with other kids, I mean loss of sporting events, loss of a theater program, loss of social clubs, less chances for dating, less experience overall with navigating the human social landscape. Thankfully I was mostly fine with this because of the huge community we have in my city; we had sports teams and a great theater program. One of my buddies lived on a lot of land and would host parties out there. But I've met many other kids who are not so lucky and basically lived these lonely childhoods without all the fun of being a young crazy teenager. Another point I want to communicate is difficult and requires some humility: homeschooling parents have a crazy amount of power and authority over their kids, and after growing up in it, I'm of the belief that it seems to give too much responsibility and authority to the parents. Not only are they parents, they are now teachers for multiple subjects. They are now responsible for ensuring their kid gets social exposure. When I say responsible for it, I mean literally micro managing it. Parents who were bad educators had absolutely no accountability and their kids suffered for it. Moreover, kids get very little privacy and I saw strict/controlling parents ruling their kids' lives because there is no regular place to go and socialize where mom or dad isn't present. Of course everyone will say "well I wouldn't be like that!" and this is where I say to have some humility; people are awful at seeing their own flaws (I give credit to this sub for being the antithesis of that). I might get fried for this, but a lot of what I'm reading in the responses you've gotten sound like this. I met numerous people in college who were home schooled and said they hated it, sadly. To clarify, I am not one of those people. I was mostly fine and happy with my experience.

So TLDR...It doesn't matter that much. You're kid is not going to magically be smarter from home schooling, and your own personal version of education you want to give your kid isn't going to hardly make a difference compared to a public school, if at all. Your boys are not going to come out as these dominating alpha-males because they didn't go to public school (I saw home schooling give the opposite effect). I believe parents get so caught up in the pride of home schooling their kid that they view absolutely everything about it with rose colored glasses. I encourage you not to fall into that. You may get to see your kids more which is inherently good, but you are taking them away from a major social experience. Some home school kids end up saying they hated their grade school life and wish they had gone to a public school, the exact same way a public schooled kid will say he hated his school and wishes he was home schooled. Make of it what you will and judge it based on what you value. I have tried to highlight some of the negatives because you've received so much positive feedback for it. Please message me if you want to talk more, because I love talking about the insights of my unique background and what I liked and disliked about it!

Bearman637 · 2020-02-24T08:00:32+00:00

It retards a childs social skill development. Im against it. Just send them to a private Christian school.

Dawey8 · 2020-02-01T22:48:01+00:00

hey! i’ve never been homeschooled but my cousins were, and i have some advice for you. in my opinion homeschool is not a great idea, you might not think so but school is a huge part in a child’s life and it’s basically what builds their social life, my cousins were all homeschooled and to this day (they range from 18 to 30) they are the most socially awkward people i’ve ever met. they have a really hard time talking to people, have no idea on how to act around people, and overall don’t do anything except being on their computers all day because they don’t know how to interact with people. 3 out of 7 of them don’t have a job and a couple of them are not christians anymore because they grew tired of how strict their parents were about it and began relating christianity with not having social life, not having fun, and being in your house all day everyday doing certain things or else you’re being a sinful person and you’re going straight to hell. that being said if you really want to homeschool your children i would suggest that you make them join a sport or any extracurricular activities that involve socializing from a young age, preferably sports because they help A LOT in building a social life and confidence. from the christian point of view trust me going to a public school won’t make them stop being christians, as long as you set their beliefs clearly and teach them how to defend their beliefs and that they don’t have to change their beliefs in order to agree with other people. i’ve never been homeschool and i went completely through school without ever leaving or straying away from my christian beliefs, in the contrary it helped me grow as a christian because it taught me how to defend my beliefs and that not everyone is gonna agree with me and sometimes there’s nothing i can do about it.

i hope God helps you and you’re family to make the right choice and that He blesses your children everywhere they go

Title	Thoughts on Home School
Author	SkimTheDross
Upvotes	14
Comments	43
Date	February 1, 2020 10:12 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RPChristians
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RPChristians/comments/exdj6u/thoughts_on_home_school/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RPChristians/thoughts-on-home-school.333424 https://theredarchive.com/post/333424