One moth ago, I said that I will quit reading TRP for a month and start applying it. Unfortunately I have no interesting story to tell beside failures. I've compiled a list of questions that came up to my mind in this period. Some of them are a little bit autistic but please go easy on me.

First of all, I'm 18, I don't play video games or smoke weed or binge watch Netflix. I work out regularly, My SMV got higher since TRP but I still have a weak character and immature mind. My friends are a bunch of losers but that's all i can have since It's hard for me to make new friends.

  • Analysis paralysis: I think I have what they call analysis paralysis, basically I overthink every thing. Like when I want to study, I just think about what to study, where and how and plan it while trying to maximize my productivity. The problem is, I lose a lot of time thinking and end up being unproductive, and this happens in different sides of my life.

  • Reading books, I have a book fetish or something. I download a loads of books in my kindle, read only 5% of a few of them then jump to another.

  • Fear of losing someone, when someone is friendly with me, likes me and respects me, I try to avoid talking to them in fear of losing them. Yeah I know it's fucked up, I guess this comes from low self-esteem?

  • Making new friends: whenever I go out, I see interesting people and imagine if I could become friends with them. Like imagine if I could become friends with a guy who works in the IT domain, he could someday help me get an interview or bring me some benefit. How can I make friends that would benefit me with their help. The best of my actual friendships are basically bullshit and time wasting fun.

  • Voice, whenever someone approaches me, my voice subconsciously goes low pitch.

  • Being mature/childish: After getting into TRP, I went all serious and over mature, now I'm behaving like chow from the film "the hangover". I seem like going from an extreme to an other, I have no clue what a healthy behavior is. By being mature, I seem like an introvert, and by being childish, I look extroverted but I lose respect from others. And also, by being mature I was very depressed, angry and sad. By being childish, I'm happy.

  • Bulking, I lift 5 times a week seriously, I'm getting a better shape and sculpture but I'm not really getting that bigger. Is it worth it to eat sugar in order to get bigger?

I kept these two in the bottom since I believe the answer would be "just get some balls and approach bro", if you have other than that you're welcome:

  • Fear of approaching, I started my TRP from zero. In the beginning I wouldn't even look at people in the eye more than a fraction of seconds. Now I can hold eye contact and smile to women, but that's it. I feel guilty for asking this same question over and over, but damn it it feels so impossible to me.
  • Fear of escalating, I can't even imagine how I can talk sexually with a girl.

Again I believe that all of this is because of my analysis paralysis, I want to know the best way to become a real red pill, and that is causing inaction and lack of progress.

Sorry for the length, but that's a whole month of observing, thanks for reading.