[Q4All] Realistically, what does the future / near future hold for women wanting commitment?

acron5n5 · 2020-02-15T13:59:15+00:00

Nothing's gonna change drastically, current trends will continue.

TheSnowyPlover · 2020-02-15T14:37:10+00:00

It’ll become increasingly difficult, both to find men “worthy” of commitment as well as men willing to commit. Reasons:

Men have less incentive to commit and/or get married: Marriage is already a losing prospect legally for men in most cases, but combine that with sex that flows like water and there’s simply less incentive to get married than ever before
Women are increasingly more financially independent than ever before which will only raise the threshold for a man they find worthy of commitment. Women already complain that there aren’t enough “economically attractive” men. In previous generations, women settled down with the dependable beta because they had to, no they can afford to capitalize on the Alpha fucks side of hypergamy.
Men are increasingly opting out of the American Dream dynamic of working a 9 to 5 while supporting a wife and two kids having realized that there’s plenty of sex, video games, and other distractions to go around. Simply put, the modern world doesn’t incentivize the American Dream like it used to, so men are opting out

PapaPinyun · 2020-02-15T14:21:31+00:00

People don't like being honest when it comes to rejection so they make up BS like 'I'm not looking for anything serious' and 'my life is really complicated right now and I don't want to string you along'.

Most men are perfectly fine with commitment, you're female friends are just being lied to.

GrumpyOldHistoricist · 2020-02-15T15:32:42+00:00

I don’t know if it’ll be the majority arrangement, but we’re going to see an increase in companionate, non-romantic, same sex, life partnerships among women. While the material factors forcing women into heterosexual marriages largely no longer prevail, adult life is still generally unaffordable on one income for most people. And the need for emotional intimacy is strong. Sexual desire will be fulfilled by an elite cadre of men who can be accessed via Tinder or whatever app takes its place. As this becomes normal, it will eventually be incorporated into the pop feminist #girlboss ideological structure and not having a boyfriend/husband will no longer be viewed as a failure to “have it all.”

I’d get into what the male side of the coin will look like, but the question is about women.

starfox863 · 2020-02-15T15:48:16+00:00

I am almost 40. Never got the time of day from women in my 20s. In my thirties became a farmer. My income has fallen dramatically. My dating choices are non existent but I enjoy my work. I will probably never marry.

Not being married , means you do not have to worry about supporting a family which means you do not have to worry as much about the rat race.

M4sterDis4ster · 2020-02-15T14:35:49+00:00

I believe men in West started losing interest in women in general. It might be for a lot of reason, but I think men are just avoiding to be settled for.

I live in touristically attractive place. We get huge amounts of Scandinavians here.

Seeing what our local men do to them and to expect that once they get back home their local men should/want/will marry them is just not an entertaining thought anymore.

Those women have very bad reputation in Greece too. Greeks often talk: " Why would you pay for a prostitute when you can find a Swedish girl ?".

Sweden has one of the highest rates of import brides from Asia, this is the sign of nonfunctional society.

DISCLAIMER : I often use Scandinavian people as an example, because they have richest and most egalitarian societies in history of mankind. They also have money to travel a lot and to party a lot and they have governments who are willing o eradicate their personal mistakes.

I am aware that those are women who travel a lot, are usually on the liberal side and I am aware that a lot of local women here are also like that, but because we are the opposite of Sweden without good Social welfare, without goverment willing to pay for your mistakes and in a society where mistakes actually do have an impact on your life.

Workaholiconew · 2020-02-15T13:59:56+00:00

If it follows past trends,

The part of society in LTRs will continue to diminish, as it has been in the last dozen years. Marriage will be affected first, obviously, but LTRs in general are diminishing. While single motherhood will probably expand even more.

Men, as a whole, have a decrease in sex drive by their 30s. So if a woman take more than that to find a partner, it is will become increasingly unlikely they will ever find one. And first marriage ages are continuing to go later and later... so I dont think many of the girls born today will ever marry, some may never even have a LTR which stands for more than 1-5 years.

Probably sexlessness in men in the past year will get to 50% by 2030 and at this point there is probably gonna be a exodus on the market from anyone not close to the top 20%.

All things said, I am pretty sure most women will still be mothers, I just doubt they will have LT partners with them.

quesoburgesa · 2020-02-15T14:54:20+00:00

I know I’m never getting married

joesmithasdf · 2020-02-15T14:30:46+00:00

It’s funny how for the pills, it’s beating a dead horse but tbp / the mainstream think it’s a mystery.

OLD made women go completely out of touch with reality. That began even before apps but tinder sealed its fate. Millions of women match and fuck every day with men out of their league rmv and smv, then wonder why guys don’t want to commit.

We should make a thread on OLD and apps, the amount of good examples would reach 1k in no time. A little anecdote from me: I don’t swipe and I just wait for women to swipe, then use glitches and features to see who did. While it saves time, it has shown trp and pills are right about one thing: 70-80% of my matches are pointless, fat, ugly, too poor, too old women, instant unmatches, that reminds me of fds saying, “the audacity”. And I bet some of them not only think I’d fuck them, but I’d also LTR them. At least, some men here say they’d fuck anyone.

felis_magnetus · 2020-02-15T15:26:10+00:00

Commitment... well, what is it good for? Or to be more precise, why is it that important? And the answer is obviously procreation and raising your offspring. Which in itself is going to be increasingly less desirable the more uncertain to bleak the future looks like. Simultaneously there has been a tendency for women to delay procreation for career reasons, which maybe isn't all that smart, since it is shifting it away from the height of their attractiveness. Then we have economic factors on the male side - alimony, child support and so on - when divorce rates are extremely high. Doesn't exactly make commitment more appetizing, does it?

I don't think that alone is enough to explain what we see though. When does somebody commit? Usually when you think what you got is as good as it's going to get, SMP-wise. And that SMP has changed dramatically with social media. Local competition has basically turned global. There is always somebody more desirable you will see regularly, if only on your phone. People simply don't FEEL like what they got is as good as it's gonna get.

Paradoxically this goes along with a significant decrease of both confidence - the above is also true in reverse, there is always somebody so much better than you whom you perceive on the daily - and social skills. Building intimacy and trust still requires face to face skills, while we practice them less and less in our fractured everyday lives. All in all that's a perfect storm. LTRs will become increasingly rare and successful marriages even more so.

says_harsh_things · 2020-02-15T14:46:24+00:00

It will be a split where only people that explicitly want kids will get married and people that dont want kids will be forever dating.

At least, for people that want to have kids on purpose. Gonna be even more bastards running around.

churnthrowaway123456 · 2020-02-15T15:19:10+00:00

They just need to move to a small city or a rural area. The vast majority of men are still comittment-minded and settling down in their mid-20s out there.

WIA20XX · 2020-02-15T16:49:20+00:00

Fewer women will be able to get commitment from men that they want commitment from.

More women won't even want commitment from a "lesser" man that may offer it.

The whole idea is romantic love leading to lifelong commitment will be as antiquated and silly.

AbyssinianLion · 2020-02-15T16:44:31+00:00

Most liberal western states will end up like Norway, where longterm monogamy will be replaced by serial monogamy and polygyny, where women will have "their turn" with a minority of high status men , whilst lower status men wont be able to have longterm partners and will slowly be eliminated from the gene pool.

https://sciencenorway.no/childlessness-fathers-forskningno/a-quarter-of-norwegian-men-never-father-children/1401047

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2020-02-15T14:26:48+00:00

FDS will become more widespread and the sexual revolution will fully and finally end.

Seeking nonsense "commitment" is still part of the issue for women, they will start holding out for marriage again

This is the Great Relearning

_HEDONISM_BOT · 2020-02-15T14:39:01+00:00

Both theories discount the very real possibility of women not being interested in dating low-quality, low-value, unattractive men :/ at any age

I will only date men who are beneficial for me to date, who I find attractive. I will not tie myself down to a man who's not attractive, not successful, not-beneficial or helpful to my life, and not serious.

I'm a childless attractive woman in her mid-30s. You guys have NO CLUE how saturated the dating world is with men who want this. I didn't even know until I signed up with the dating apps. So many men are dying to find any woman with no baggage from previous relationships and I've had to dump 3 boyfriends in the past 7 months who wanted to escalate to something more serious than I did. I think you have this mostly wrong. It's been my experience that men treat women that way when it's obvious that the woman wants something more serious than the man. It hasn't been my experience with men at all, and I don't want anything serious with them for at least another 5 years.

The reality is that it's more fun to be single and free to date whoever you want and only be around men who only bring the best versions of themselves to court you. They'll take you out on dates, wine and dine you, and put their best foot forward. You never ever ever have to put up with any shit at all. The second it happens, you get to ghost them, because you're not together, there isn't an expectation of any sort for you to forgive, compromise, work through anything. The second things stop being fun, you get to ghost them, and move onto the next bloke :/

That's been my reality.

I witnessed with my own eyes yesterday... many women who are in relationships get treated worse than single women for valentine's day. I was out on a date, getting wined and dined, and I open Facebook this morning to married women complaining about their husbands not doing anything for V day. I open up reddit, to find that the dating and relationship advice subs are filled with posts from women in serious relationships, many of them married or engaged, sharing their grief about being completely ignored or neglected for V day and Idk you guys. I just don't see it as beneficial since many of them were so awful to read.

KerPop42 · 2020-02-15T14:53:18+00:00

I think it’s just a longer-span equivalent of the spike in divorces after no-fault divorce was legalized. It’s not that fewer guys want relationships, it’s that the consistent proportion of guys who don’t want relationships find it easier and easier to justify not going into one. In the era before contraceptives, sex was mostly reserved for people in committed, long-term marriages. We’re seeing the reverberations of that restriction being lifted to this day.

I also think that the distance into the future you want to plan is inversely proportional to how stressed you are, and current life is very stressful. People are going to want the flexibility of a loose or open relationship for longer into their adulthood unless life becomes less stressful to the point that they feel safe looking further into the future.

poppy_blu · 2020-02-15T15:36:29+00:00

Look at Europe. Marriage rates are low there but people still enter committed relationships. Before same sex marriage was legal in the US, gay couples still committed. So while lifelong marriage is rapidly declining, committed relationships are not. Traditional marriage will die out and if you ask me that’s a good thing. But people will never stop coupling up, no matter how hard you guys pine for the destruction of all M/F relations.

reluctantly_red · 2020-02-15T16:25:03+00:00

If a woman wants a high value man to commit to her she has to be able to make his life better -- materially, socially, intellectually, and emotionally.

An uneducated, underemployed, airhead just isn't worth committing to.

Pola_Lita · 2020-02-15T18:13:53+00:00

More and more, women will be approaching committed relationships as an option rather than a necessity, which means men will, too. Better for everyone.

SherbertBacon · 2020-02-15T19:42:50+00:00

My female friends (anywhere from ages 21-35) often lament that most of the men they go on dates with are not interested in a serious relationship, use them for sex, etc.

The "why won't he commit??" trope has been a plot point of sitcoms for decades. This isn't a new phenomenon.

The blue-pill theory is that men as a whole are becoming less interested in commitment for some reason, I think?

There is no "blue pill theory" because people who adopt the "blue pill" moniker willingly do it as an ironic rebut to TRP. The only conclusion you could make about someone who self-describes as BP is they reject the hypergamy theory.

My personal "Blue Pill" take? "Nothing is new under the sun." Drops we've seen in marriage rates are due to an increase in women's independence and their unwillingness to commit to anyone.

"% of men willing to commit to a monogamous relationship" has been steadily decreasing over the last several years, if not longer.

Based on what evidence?

JustArtist8 · 2020-02-15T20:12:23+00:00

I find it impossible to find a woman that is looking for commitment. In my experience they all prefer the hypergamy lifestyle.

Jathrowaway97 · 2020-02-15T14:10:07+00:00

I think the blue pill theory is correct. Even men who aren’t in the top 20% are becoming marriage averse. Some still want “forever girlfriends”. Some women may go for it but people are becoming more isolated so LTRs will decline, sexlessness will rise and single motherhood will rise. There’s going to be a lot more people who never find a life partner and seldom have a life partner who will just work and keep to themselves until they die. They may have a kid or 2 along the way.

2020-02-15T13:59:51+00:00

Which narrative do you think is more psychologically satisfying to side chicks, pump and dump victims and other perennial SMP runner ups

A) I keep getting used as a cumrag because no man wants to commit to me

B) men suck anyway who needs them!!! Am i right girls??!! 😃😃😃😃😃😂😂😃😊🙂😕☹️😥😰😢

That should tell you all you need to know about the disparity between red and blue on this issue

Anywho, most women will still find their beta workhorse and settle down. Will they be happy? Of course not, womens happiness has been tanking for decades. They say its because of the “dual burden”, ok but no one asked you to abandon that tradlife. Besides, what about man’s dual burden of having to put up with women at home AND at work now??

PapaPinyun · 2020-02-15T15:11:45+00:00

it's not a "blue pill theory" to say, "men are priced out of the relationship market because they can't afford the basic ingredients of a family life." That's just like regular sociology and economics and shit, we don't have shit anymore. It isn't that women are like hunting for game show prizes in a man but men with no mobility, future, leisure time, friends or culture are also like not in mate acquisition mode in any serious way, in their fucking bones.

hellotrillions · 2020-02-15T13:53:46+00:00

BTW, if you think hypergamy IS the culprit, and "men willing to commit" has only been decreasing because hypergamy is increasing, that's fine. That seems like it might make logical sense?

churnthrowaway123456 · 2020-02-15T15:25:58+00:00

this isn't real. young women not being able to find boyfriends isn't real.

RinoaRita · 2020-02-15T15:43:10+00:00

I think marriage age is trending up but most people eventually will find someone.

What I predict is less kids being born and an increase in IVF and other fertility treatments. Maybe an increase in kids being an only child growing up.

mr_spycrabs · 2020-02-16T01:36:48+00:00

Hell. I wish I could find a woman who wants a serious relationship. Half my relationships I got cheated on. The other half they didn't like the idea of commitment and left. Maybe I'm just looking in the wrong places. I just wish I didn't dedicate so much time with them only to reach such conclusions, but instead could know before hand lol.

HB3234 · 2020-02-15T15:52:12+00:00

People have been bemoaning the downfall of traditional family values since Cain killed Abel, so I try not to put too much stock into that kind of pearl clutching. But I see so many fewer men of quality in the dating world. I think there will be a few painful generations as people revert back to "make noncontributing partners die alone again". Social trends always sort themselves out.

Pastelitomaracucho · 2020-02-15T16:16:24+00:00

My theory is that, overall, we are entering adulthood much later. We are delaying all the adult things by more than a decade compared to previous generations.

Aaaand biology is getting in the middle.

boomadley · 2020-02-15T16:26:43+00:00

Well maybe people will keep falling in love like they often do.

wtknight · 2020-02-15T17:57:53+00:00

I don’t think much will ever change in the west. Women will keep doing the same thing as long as casual sex is socially accepted. Movements like FDS will always be niche. Chad chasing is not going away. The best women will find good alphas willing to commit while the average to below average ones will continue to complain about men.

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sotodiefor · 2020-02-15T14:16:03+00:00

a partner willing to do the same?

loke2dabrain · 2020-02-15T14:59:42+00:00

A whole lotta disapointment.

ontherailstoday · 2020-02-15T16:14:40+00:00

Oh ffs. The future holds the same as it has always held... if you want commitment and you're not top notch you may have to settle for a shitty man who you know right from the start is unattractive, broke, or un-attentive. Nothing changed there, second verse same as the first.

Colorado-expat · 2020-02-15T16:21:44+00:00

Pretty grim.

The chances are slim.

diffdedbed · 2020-02-15T16:22:18+00:00

Marriages are slightly down.

It's not a paradigm shift yet.

zerofeetpersecond · 2020-02-15T17:04:23+00:00

Most people can barely afford rent and someone is flying this chick out for a one of date 😂 That is all you need to know how fucked things are.

meeselbon573 · 2020-02-15T19:06:10+00:00

You are misunderstanding. Red pill also believes that men are becoming less interested in commitment—and is trying to accelerate this trend. That is what concepts like AWALT are for.

[deleted] · 2020-02-15T19:51:41+00:00

The modern SMP was designed by the current architects to watch me slowly become suicidal. Fuck this simulation .

2020-02-15T20:07:02+00:00

Probably iffy considering alot of men from what I can tell (from observation) are only interesting in a FWB lifestyle or want commitment only from a woman who's gonna be 100% submissive house made that they can fuck freely.

Like yea there might be chill dudes who aren't sex addicts and dont view women as lesser or evil but they will be so sought out after that any guy who isnt genuinely one of them will fake being one until they can entrap someone in a relationship, either for sex or as a bangmaid.

Anthony-waltzs · 2020-02-15T20:14:23+00:00

I agree with what the majority of everyone is saying here. Women are going to keep getting pumped and dumped by Chad because their to stupid understand that just because a guy wants to have sex with you does men mean he sees you as relationship material. And then when all options fail FDS time.

Workaholiconew · 2020-02-15T20:52:25+00:00

Tecnically they can kill their own but to be really negative they have to kill other peoples.

Teflon08191 · 2020-02-15T21:15:35+00:00

Women will probably find it increasingly difficult to secure commitment from men they want commitment from, but those who can temper their expectations or simply go without will probably be fine.

i_cri_evry_tim · 2020-02-16T01:04:04+00:00

What’s the point of commitment for men when one of the biggest incentives for it (sex) is now being given out for free?

Additionally, why bother with commitment at an early age if men’s most relevant assets in the SMP (status and social skills) grow with age while women’s diminish?

In today’s climate, men’s best option is to play the game as long as possible, then decide if they want to settle down with a woman, provided they find one that is not too damaged.

The reason why women complain is that their peak value in SMP comes around much sooner than their male counterparts.

Current trends will continue unless there is a significant turn to a more conservative understanding of the social contract.

2020-02-16T03:03:34+00:00

Women will settle for betas. Be unhappy, make some babies, divorce rape the man.

thedeadpill · 2020-02-16T04:48:43+00:00

It's a little bit of both. Women are picky af, and despite a culture that continually produces noise about the glass ceiling, we get headlines like this one: Lack of 'Economically-attractive' men to blame for declining marriage rates

But, the truth of the matter is that marriage rates have been declining since the dawn of the boomers. In the 80s, feminist Barbara Ehrenreich penned The Hearts of Men wherein she details the decade-by-decade decline in marriage as being led by men: As the traditional role of men as breadwinner/protector eroded, so did men's general preference to do so in favour of arms-length relationships and bachelorhood. Men apparently, have been giving up their 'responsibilities' for decades, and the modern era of not getting married is the result.

I think the future of marriage is pretty bleak; women only seem to be interested in the creme-de-la-creme (which only leaves the vast majority of them in the cold), and more and more not-exactly-perfect men are shut out of relationships altogether (and most of those aren't interested in traditional provider roles, to boot).

Maybe marriage as an institution doesn't serve anyone anymore; men don't want to be shackled to unending responsibility, and women aren't interested in mediocrity.

This ends in two ways: Traditionalism rebounds with a vengeance, and women's rights will be eroded, leaving divorce (once again) stigmatized and unpalatable for women, and bachelorhood being a stone's throw from being considered bonafide mental illness for men.

The other way is that we live in some post-marriage future, where we don't generally get married. In order to push birth rates towards replacement, incentives will be given to single parents (in the same way tax incentives are currently given to married couples), supplied entirely by the state.

Honestly, both sound rather bleak. I'd rather humans just go extinct.

Mindful81 · 2020-02-16T09:11:26+00:00

I predict that people will do what they have always done. They will do what they want. What does the future hold for men wanting a commitment? What are the predictions, because most want the easy remedy. The fast food of a relationship. They run and forget the real connection with other human beings. If a man cheats I'm out. People are people....

skystar86 · 2020-02-16T09:23:26+00:00

My opinion is this is why I don't care about the sexlessness epidemic men are going through. If men think "marriage is for suckers" and think "caring about a woman's sexual pleasure is cucked" why should I care if they never get their dicks pleasured? Why should I feel sorry for the man who can't get a date on Tinder or the man who broke his dick with excessive porn use?

Iron-Giant169 · 2020-02-16T10:32:23+00:00

It’s gonna be harems, lots of harems. Anime predicting the future

nosynobody · 2020-02-15T14:59:44+00:00

I find it super amusing that men here complain about marriage not being advantageous to men when in reality it is. Women suffer in marriages with declining mental health and increasing labour. More women are opting out of a system that has oppressed them and not settling for men because it is expected from society.

Single mothers will rise because women would rather have children by themselves than also carry the dead-weight of a husband.

yuckyuck13 · 2020-02-15T14:44:02+00:00

Why buy a horse when you can ride the whole stable. With the current trend of sexual freedom men don't have to commit to have sex. Some men are great with women and play the field. If women give it away easily will continue to be used for sex. This problem is perpetuated by both men and women. This trend will continue until women take responsibility for creating the circumstances that allows this trend to happen.

edit: missed words

FlavFal · 2020-02-15T15:58:44+00:00

From what I've seen the women who want marriage get it without much issue.

meditr · 2020-02-15T20:10:20+00:00

I disagree. Most attractive men get into relationships. Maybe they have an 18-22 phase of playing the field, but they generally get bored afterwards and have girlfriends. With women who are as high value as them. If a women is overshooting and complaining that men don't want to commit, it's just that she is not aware of who she should go for. This would be like low value men complaining that Stacy flakes. There is without a doubt a bunch of dudes willing to LTR her. There are eternal bachelors but it's really rare that I don't see them with a girl who complements them perfectly eventually.

gumaysidiid · 2020-02-15T14:19:43+00:00

[deleted]

ElGupo1978 · 2020-02-15T17:16:22+00:00

The women who want a commitment will always find one just like now. The ones who want ride the cawk carousel until the hit the wall will continue to struggle

Title	[Q4All] Realistically, what does the future / near future hold for women wanting commitment?
Author	hellotrillions
Upvotes	58
Comments	361
Date	February 15, 2020 1:51 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/f49n7k/q4all_realistically_what_does_the_future_near/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4all-realistically-what-does-the-future-near.334714 https://theredarchive.com/post/334714