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Who can I talk to in person about my personal growth/struggles as a man?

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February 18, 2020
26 upvotes

Title say it all. My dad would’ve been a great person to talk to about this stuff, but he died when I was 17. Both of my grandfathers have passed away now. I have guy friends at work but they are all heavily beta. One was cucked recently and is now being divorce raped. Poor guy. I have Christian guy friends at church but when I have brought up things in the past it became obvious that (at least with the few leaders I spoke with) they are blue-pulled in their thinking. “Sacrifice every part of yourself for the woman.” Where do I find someone to talk to when I am dealing with these changes/realizations/red-pill struggles? I know that “men are always alone” in the world. But surely there are men in my community who can lift eachother up?

Btw, all you internet strangers are great, no hard feelings. Heh.


Post Information
Title Who can I talk to in person about my personal growth/struggles as a man?
Author LabelOtherSide
Upvotes 26
Comments 39
Date 18 February 2020 08:03 PM UTC (8 months ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/339130
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/f5xrpd/who_can_i_talk_to_in_person_about_my_personal/
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Red Pill terms found in post:
betaliftthe red pill-pill
Comments

[–]khalabrakis37 points38 points  (0 children) | Copy

Not redpill related, but becoming a younger boys role model will definitely remind you of all the things your dad would've told you. Kids raise us sometimes.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red30 points31 points  (2 children) | Copy

A 45# plate.

They typically go best in pairs.

[–]johneyapocalypseThe one that says "Bad Motherfucker"3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

You're a big meany red, OP is the sensitive sort. He wants someone to talk to. Someone to listen. Someone with whom he can sing songs and be gay.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I am so sick of faggot fucks on this forum.

PS you had me at gay Bb.

[–]Cl_ARK19 points20 points  (1 child) | Copy

Friends are great, but you're obviously looking for someone to tell you what to do, or that what you are doing is OK.

Learn to deal with your own shit instead of offloading it on other people, or looking for validation/confirmation.

A vision quest is done alone for a reason.

[–]nordicpolarbear2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Honestly I learned a lot of stuff from the internet and places like this. The hard part has been critical thinking and applying the lessons practically in my own life. The internet is a treasure trove of knowledge you just have to use your own judgement on what is good advice and what is bad. I can’t help but wonder what my life would have been like before had I not had the internet to help me. I guess I would have been at the library a lot.

[–]AquitasVeritas17 points18 points  (3 children) | Copy

I have learned that we redpill guys carry this on our own. You are lucky to find a likeminded redpill friend.

I accepted that the friends I have are either bluepilled or trash. So i rather be alone.

[–]HornsOfApathyMod / Red Beret8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Alot of truth in this.

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

I accepted that the friends I have are either bluepilled or trash. So i rather be alone.

Even my couple friends who think they are red pulled are mostly blue pill. So, yes, in red pill matters , it’s usually best to stick by yourself or this forum.

For OP: On ordinary issues, take it to another man. He doesn’t need to be red pilled to handle ordinary conversation. For red pill issues, refer to sidebar readings and Reddit

[–]AquitasVeritas4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

nds who

think

they are red pulled are mostly blue pill. So, yes, in red pill matters , it’s usually be

OP: But think of this as something good. You are a man who makes his own decisions. Take all the information you need and be your own judge. If you fuck up.. its on you. Learn. If you win.. Celebrate. Go harder.

Don't even look for approval even here. Half of the guys here are fools.

[–]JoeAccidental10 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy

Go to the gym, wear a t-shirt that says STFU, we will find you.

[–]hopeunseen2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

this is the way.

[–]markreadsred8 points9 points  (2 children) | Copy

Sup, bruh.

[–]markreadsred1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Like no, seriously, the online world allows for this exact kind of conversation to happen so you don't have to fond a unicorn redpill friend and out each other via secret handshake.

Message me.

[–]hopeunseen2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Can I get in on the secret handshake? I'm low on secret unicorn handshake buddies.

[–]NoCoast825 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy

You mentioned family, coworkers, and fellowship... you need some male friends.

[–]LabelOtherSide[S] 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

...that’s the only place I’ve ever made friends. ...wait, you can have friends outside family work and church?!??

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

Exactly, nobody talks about Jesus' miracle of having 12 close friends in his 30s. The only instant solution I have found is to join up with a crossfit gym. It is kind of funny how everyone becomes your friend there. Other than that, I would say an app or a google doc for us to post in. But how to prevent that from becoming perverse, no idea.

[–]part_wolf3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly, nobody talks about Jesus' miracle of having 12 close friends in his 30s. The only instant solution I have found is to join up with a crossfit gym.

Preach, brother.

[–]Praexology7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Well for starters you can also post this in r/RPChristians.

[–]DrunkenMaster_InRed3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

I've got this problem as well. The guys I know IRL are blue pill. How does one go about finding a "Morpheus" without talking about Fight Club?

[–]DeWittorComstock2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

A shrink worked wonders for me.They listened to my bullshit, made me focus on myself, and called me on my bullshit. Funny enough, the weekly Own Your Shit thread does the same thing but you need to be comfortable with writing and no one there is forced to listen to your bullshit.

[–]wkndatbernardus2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Was wondering about the same thing myself. We should have meetups that get together semi regularly to hash out strategies and kill the beta.

[–]simbarlionRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You do realise that men sitting around hashing out 'kill the beta' strategies is the absolute essence of bluepill? You would be better off going to live in the forest for 6 months on your own.

MRP provides the tools, but you walk the path alone.

And yes i realise the irony of commenting on this topic on this online forum

[–]mrpthrowa2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Being a man is lonely. Accept it.

Recognising this, becoming a mental point of origin, is part of the journey. It's tough but you're alone in that fight.

[–]RStonePT2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Mine died at 18.

Either find a good bussy to swap stories with over drinks, or better yet realize no one but you cares about your problems and stop offloading your feelings onto others.

It sucks, but the concequences of emoting to other people is worse.

[–]shadowentityrising1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Join a martial arts club, you'll be surprised once you've shared a mat and a bit of blood with another guy and improved through failure, getting your arse kicked how much you can learn off one another not just technical fight based shit but all sorts. As men we seek challenge, responsibility and struggle. Do something challenging and other men who seek challenge will gravitate towards you. The ones that are worth learning from and building relationships with will naturally bond with you quite easily.

[–]Malice-red2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

You would think that is true. Even martial artists are BP in their thinking.

[–]shadowentityrising1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Everywhere you turn on the planet people have different mindsets, you can't just magic away people with blue pill thinking Ffs. Plus your talking like they are the enemy or some shit, this ain't a war of morals, its just a mindset to improve you and nobody else. If you are narrowminded and dismiss people like you can't learn from them then your foolish. Remember not only can you learn from people's wisdom but also thier mistakes. In my dojo there is a 2nd Dan blackbelt who is BP as fuck.... But he does loads of manly shit on the weekends by himself, his skillsets are just unbelievable, he built his house extension, rides motorbikes, fixes them, grows his own vegatables he just has a fat wife that call the shots. He's helped me open my eyes to certain things, especially with growing his own produce. Occasionally I throw in the little lines about how the young hoes in thier early 20s love guys with r1 motorbikes... N he's just like meh.

[–]nantucketghost1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You need some new guy friends. Check out some local clubs for things you're into. Also don't be afraid to check out the Free Masons. Great group of real life people and you'll find most of them to be very normal and easy to chat face to face. I also found a local motorcycle meetup group. Great group there too. Vintage motorcycles breeds a different crowd of old and young stand up folks.

[–]go-RED-go1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Feel the same as you. Dad died, bluepill friends, no uncles, only females in the family, mostly females on the workplace, female therapist.

I carry it all out on my own. Still searching though. In the meantime, I would rather STFU then talk to the wrong person.

So far talking to the wrong person about my problems ALWAYS bit me back hard in the ass. Dont do it.

[–]AlohaMaui8081 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

You sound like a woman searching for a local tea'n'coffee gossip group. Think about what that mindset of having to rely on discussion with others brings. Is the result a fully functional RP Man?

It's one thing to need to stop and ask for directions once every hundred miles when you're traveling without a map, someone silently raises there arm and points - you continue on your way. It's something completely different to be in frequent deep discussion about your life and problems, taking the advice of someone who isn't you. Especially when there's a map sitting right next to you that you refuse to pick up and actually study.....

You've only just made your first ever OYS Weekly post, yet you've been "dipping your toe in" here and at askTRP for months now with questions just like this.

Commit, faggot. You need to be first in line to post OYS every week.

Supposedly you've read NMMNG yet you haven't internalized that you must be your own judge in life.

I know this is the opposite of everything you've ever been taught in your BP existence, but go look in the mirror. That fucker staring back at you is the one person you can trust isn't actively playing an angle on you.

On a personal note, a few months ago when I was about 3 months deep I was also reaching out blindly into this community for a "morpheus" but what I was really looking for was someone to validate my choices.

Thank god, no one offered to take the job.

You need to buckle down, hit the books and the old posts in MRP hard, and STFU for a few months.

Let this shit marinade in your brain.

Make MRP your "new religion" and truly study your "bible" for a while. Contemplate the truth of RP and then go back and contemplate how it applies to you. Go back to NMMNG and actually do the exercises, many guys find tons of value from that.

Most importantly, learn to be your own judge and mental point of origin and research answers online without having to get one on one advice so often. All of the shit you're asking about has already been discussed a hundred times over in past posts and comments on MRP. Stop being lazy and go find what you need. Only faggot BP pussies need to be spoon fed.

[–]hopeunseen0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This deserves more upvotes.

[–]_-resonance-_1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Rollo Tomassi is my dad now.

[–]wtf_ever_man0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thing is what exactly are you looking for? Are you looking to talk with red pill awareness? In my experience coming to this place the redpill sub *can* be a decent place but its about a 50/50 on getting actually good useable advice. Thats just my mileage though.

https://mankindproject.org/ - https://mankindproject.org/mens-groups/

I found out about the Mankind Project from The Art of Manliness. They did a podcast on it and it seems to be centered on selling a mens group that you can pay for and sign up for that you go and its just a mens group. You talk about your shit, deal with your shit and hopefully come back stronger with a clearer vision about who you are, what you stand for and how you are getting there. Thats the New Warriors.. whatever they call it...

BUT -

They also have just plain old men's groups. I live in the midwest. The closest town for me is 1.5 hours away. Maybe you might get luckier?

Like you said, men seem to go it alone in this world and the biggest thing for me is just that. Knowing that I can't and shouldn't rely on anyone. Its a bit of a sad truth and if you feel like you have someone you could talk to about redpill, well shit then man, talk them up. Its not really bitching about women, its a philosophy of relationship dynamics and men can talk that shit. If you want to do some opening up about shit your going through though... I'd say a men's group, maybe a therapist that is a male. Not a lot of guys know how to deal with other guys complaining about their problems. A lot of guys like to think they should be to butch for that kind of shit. Men go through just as much shit in this world as anyone else and I'm personally sick of that shit. I haven't been to a men's group but I hae grown and evolved from who I was shit, even 2, 3 years ago. Even from last year. Its about looking at yourself and learning, growing and evolving. You *can* do this alone. It can be a hard road because you hit those bumps where you need to vent or have a question. I have turned to this place and this is a special place to turn to because you have to be able to take the good with the bad. Guys will jump your shit and vet you and if you can't take the heat, well, they have a point. They don't always know the context either but like to think they do. I expect at least a couple to jump my shit because I am posting this but I do feel you can turn to this place to vent or ask as a support but its the internet man, mileage may vary. Its also the point that don't come to rely on this place unless you want to OYS often if you think that will help. I just think some people live here.

So I would say that if you do need someone to vet to you can throw me a message and I would try to listen but then again, I'm just a dude on the internet.

I do suggest checking for local men's groups though.

[–]MrTrizzles0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The fuck you need a role model for? All they can give you is information, information you can find here.

Have the mindset that you are going to be a role model. Then you will attract other leaders, and have the honor of influencing younger men.

If you can get your shit together that is.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Sidebar. Lift.

Learn about stoic, solemn time with the barbell.

You must learn to answer to yourself

[–]simbarlionRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Acta non verba

But you never know maybe there is an online forum to ask married red pill questions

But seriously you will be disappointed talking to someone unless they are very red pill. You are likely going to be better off with internet strangers



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