tl;dr won't usually do this for you, but this one is easy

Simply put: In order for a man to be happy and at peace, he must have a presently unattainable goal.


Let's jump right into it. Your personal deficiencies are going to be very different from the other guy (and your past self as you grow up and evolve). To expound on the second point, what I cared about at 17 was of the utmost importance to me at 17, but has no relevance to me now. Likewise, my expectation of achieving the goals I set for present-day me would be outrageous at that time.

That means in plain English that my mission in life at 17 was as follows:

  • Graduate high school
  • Hold on to the relationship with my girlfriend

My unattainable at 17 was:

  • Get into my "dream" college

When the unattainable is achieved, something new must take its place. Failure to do this creates existential agony until an appropriate obstacle is in place to calm that nerve once again. What do I do now when I achieve what felt like the unattainable? I invent a new unattainable. However, this lesson took some time to learn.

My college mission was as follows:

  • Break up with high school girlfriend
  • Make grades
  • Rush the fraternity I wanted to be in

My unattainable at the time was as follows:

Yep, nothing. This is where my journey stalled. I never bothered to think past my last unattainable into a new one! After all, I had already done the impossible. I was perfect and needed no further improvement in my mind.

I briefly got back together with the high school girlfriend long distance. It was, as my football coach put it, an "other than positive experience". See the problem?


This applies to men of literally any age. I use a teenage example because it will resonate with boys and men alike, but the message is the same: whether your limitations are sex, money, power, wealth (believe me, that is different than money), or fame (a thing many people hamster into attaining the other 4 aforementioned), you need to understand that without some seemingly unattainable goal to strive for you will never continue to be a man.

The core act of being a man involves becoming a different man worthy of surpassing self-defined milestones. The unattainable should be a combination of "a thing you've never done before and have limited hope of achieving RIGHT NOW" and "things men you admire and respect have done before".

Fortunately for our dear readers, many are probably major losers right now. This unattainable can be as low as "kiss a new girl" or "earn a promotion / earn $46,575 a year". THIS IS A GOOD THING. Your self-actualization depends on actually achieving these goals, just not in your current mindset, body, or frame.

For the avoidance of confusion, your current mission should be:

  1. Specific
  2. Measurable
  3. Attainable
  4. Relevant
  5. Timely

Your current unattainable may or may not be any of these things - you have the freedom to decide. The only requirement is that the unattainable must be grand enough that you are currently unworthy. Hold yourself to this principle, and you will evolve rapidly into the man you want to be.