(Follow up question in regard to earlier post on women with high N count) Should men wait as long as possible to enter a LTR/get married then?

sublimemongrel · 2020-02-26T13:58:15+00:00

Men “should” do whatever they want in terms of their individual decisions to get into committed relationships. There will likely be some trade offs in the consequences/reality of delaying relationships until you’re older but that’s up to you to decide

M4sterDis4ster · 2020-02-26T15:52:02+00:00

While I agree that men can look very good in their 30s and even 40s, most of the men dont really play that long term game, therefore most men look like shit.

So, being able to have a lot of casual sex doesnt really seem as a plausible option.

Pussy is always in demand, basically women dont lose pussy power in their 40s.

In my opinion, men should marry in their early 30s for women in mid to late 20s.

Men should also avoid women with high N-counts.

WicGoingAnonymous · 2020-02-26T15:54:52+00:00

Why do you think that there are a limitless amount of women that you can do a LTR with?

Here's what they don't tell you about relationships: it's fucking hard to maintain. With how many of your friends would you be able to live with? Now think of that persons worst trait, that's going to be magnified after living together. After +5 years you'll be sick to death of it. Do you like their style? You better... because half of your home will be that style. Do you think they'll do their share of the chores? Do you both resolve problems in the same way?

A relationship is trying to get pieces of different puzzles to fit together. There will always be areas that don't match. Searching for a LTR is trying to find a piece that fits with you.

And there aren't loads of those pieces out there. There are loads of pretty girls. There are loads of x or y of z.

But there's not going to be loads of (just random, not implying anything) 8/10 girls that like cooking but hate laundry (and you like laundry so no argument about chores), that don't nag when you forget something you promised, that love to give random cuddles (physical touch being your love languange) and are very happy with receiving flowers (their love languange and you like doing that), that want sex twice a week, that want 2 kids, that are able to have 2 kids, that you share a hobby with, that are willing to be the carreer wife so you can be a SAHD, that aren't vegan, that vote red, that...

If you find someone and they are good for you (not perfect, most of us will never find perfect) and you choose to not date them, then there's a decent chance that you will need to settle on personality later...with someone that you are going to live 24/7 together with for (hopefully) decades. That's a miserable (imo) way to live.

Like, fuck around. I do it, it's great. But from the rest of the messages it doesn't sound like you are ok with risking ending up alone. It sounds like that LTR good marriage and 2.5 kids and a house with a tree is still your end goal. And that's kind of something you have to be ok with if you choose this lifestyle, because you might chase off 'the one'.

You gotta choose first. ONS or LTR. And that's your goal. That's what you are going for. And in the meantime, you can play around, but don't throw away your goal for something that sounds like it's supposed to be temporary. Have fun, but stay with your eyes on the price.

says_harsh_things · 2020-02-26T13:39:42+00:00

If you're looking for a lot of partners and dont mind breaking a few hearts along the way, this is a valid strategy. That said, if/when you get bored of it and want to pick someone for the long haul, you're going to be picking from the leftovers unless you can snag a younger one (which is possible).

nemma88 · 2020-02-26T16:08:51+00:00

Its really up to you and what you value. Honestly IRL not many men value sleeping with lots of women- vast majority don't value it enough to get off the couch anyway, it's not a huge priority for most men. People are sad because they are lonely, it's much less to do with sex than it is with what that entails, companionship, someone to share the good, the highs and the lows.

Dating older or younger in either genders basically have the same up and downsides I think. >35 it's mostly the divorcee department of people, everyone have baggage but eh, so will you. Mens fertility declines as they age also but you know 40 is the new 20 or something, it's not much of an issue if you keep fit.

If you value just sex, why ever even settle down? Just stay single forever.

Time-Lord2 · 2020-02-26T17:14:42+00:00

Hope it's okay to double post, I posted without reading all the followup. You sound really young, early to maybe mid 20s at the most. Which is fine, we've all been there. If you are successfully hooking up with a variety of attractive women and are enjoying I would probably just keep on with it, just have it in the back of your mind that after 32-35 or so women in their early to mid twenties will start viewing you more as "Dad" rather than as a fun partner. If you haven't, I think its better to have a low notch count so you can still really fall in love with a woman. After awhile you grow cold. Also, everything slows down as you age. There's a reason why most NBA players are out of the league by around 35 or 40 if they are superstars. You get worse options and a lower sex drive as you age, I don't care who you are. The only good thing is if you started out ridiculously high you may find your drive matches a 20s woman when you're middle aged. But keep in mind most guys who are in their 40s or older with a younger women are using their money as a looks multiplier. Your money goes, she goes.

YveisGrey · 2020-02-26T17:19:53+00:00

I don't think men in their 30s are in high demand. I don't know why people act like a slight rise in SMV = being in high demand. A woman in her late 30s could easily rack up a higher n count in one year than a man in his early 30s. Men in their 30s still have a hard time getting rando sex especially if they are short and unattractive. And most of the men who are attractive in older age were always attractive even when they were younger. I seriously do not know these unattractive men who suddenly became hot at 29 I never seen it. The only thing that really happens around the 30s is that men and women want to settle down. YES men AND women. Many men do not actually want to get married at 22 to their 20 year old gf. By the late 20s men have the ability to actually support a family so it makes sense that they tend to get married around that age it's really got little to do with not being unattractive. Like I said awkward unattractive dudes do not automatically become "Chads" on their 30th birthday.

I also find it interesting how many men complain about "gold diggers" yet take pride in their increased SMV in their 30s which is pretty much solely attributed to the fact that they earn more by this age. I mean maybe I am wrong and these types don't actually overlap but I doubt it.

Captain_of_Skene · 2020-02-26T16:16:28+00:00

Do people here seriously think that a man's 30s are an ideal time for him to be having lots of casual fun?

There is a lot of pressure for men to settle down in their 30s if they haven't done so already

I'm not saying casual fun isn't possible, but it's probably less easy to do in your 30s than in your 20s I would think but please correct me if I'm wrong

NarniaFox · 2020-02-26T14:04:57+00:00

I'd say it's usually better for everyone to wait till late 20s for getting married. Marriage requires maturity, financial stability, knowing your future plans and the way you're going to fulfil them. Young people tend to have lack of everything listed.

pample_meese · 2020-02-26T14:41:02+00:00

Why are you assuming you’ll just automatically be wanted once you hit 33? It’s like you’re listening to dudes in PPD or something

says_harsh_things · 2020-02-26T13:55:39+00:00

It depends if you want biological children or not.

Both men and womens fertility declines over age. Older men are at a higher risk of having autistic kids and older women are at risk of having kids with down syndrome. Lots of older people have perfectly healthy biological children, but you have to be aware that the risk is much higher.

Seeing as most people date within their age bracket, you're likely going to also date/ marry a woman in her late 30s.

If you are willing to pay for IVF, willing to take egg/sperm donations if required or are willing to adopt - it's not an issue.

ashitanothrowaway · 2020-02-26T18:48:36+00:00

I would agree on the premise of fairness, but if you get older and realize that you don't relate to young girls and that the women closer to your age group are already damaged, it may no longer seem like a good idea.

My father and God father were Tyrone's in high demand with women (& still do better than me (who doesnt do bad)) and neither have ever been married and they're both getting near 50 and regret not marrying younger and building wealth and a family structure with a wife instead of dealing with baby mothers.

I think that religious convictions play a part for them and the natural progression of men to become more conservative as they get older.

diffdedbed · 2020-02-26T18:50:51+00:00

This is a fools game.

I look fantastic for my age, I am wealthy, I have high community status, I have had FWB's in their 20's who weren't getting anything from me but dick. (People new to PPD I'm a swinger).

And I LTRed up at 21.

I found my low n count (and it mattered to me then, not now obviously) cute smart devoted in love woman.

If I would have just pumped and dumped I'd have been tossing away a diamond.

You don't wait until X age, thats stupid. You wait until you find one you love, and who loves you. It could be 18 it could be 48, but what you don't do is just toss them aside assuming you will do better, you might never. The Manosphere loves to laugh at women who have done this (he was perfect but I broke up and now I am miserable), men do the same thing.

imeffective · 2020-02-26T15:04:16+00:00

Pretty much where I'm at. As I get older, women generally have less value to me since I'm self sufficient. Beyond sex, there's really nothing women offer that I cannot obtain or do myself. Thus I generally don't even consider LTR anymore, either it's casual or I move on.

xkitteakatx · 2020-02-26T15:14:26+00:00

I don't think so. If you go that long without trying and succeeding or failing at long term relationships you may get too used to never letting anyone close and risk never being able to fall in love because you just can't. I have seen this happen with a lot of my older gay guy friends who had a lot of fun in their 20s messing around but now they have no one because relationships scare them. They are scared to open up and scared to risk getting hurt and are extremely envious and secretly bitter towards gen Z gays who openly have lovely dovey relationships as if it were as easy as breathing. My point is that going too long without opening yourself up puts you at a high risk of never being able to do so without some serious therapy. And perhaps not even then. I don't think that it is worth it. I met my husband at gamestop and he was getting one shift a week when we got together. We have been together for a little over 10 years now. Age + money won't ensure you a better partner.

Edited for typos and to add a little more information about my relationship

AutoModerator · 2020-02-26T13:36:10+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Hitman_Spear_Head · 2020-02-26T15:10:01+00:00

What does N stand for? Sorry for the noobness.

WIA20XX · 2020-02-26T16:43:30+00:00

No.

If he wants to marry, He should marry in his late 20's/early 30's to a woman that is within his bracket.

After that, he and the market for him, become less viable. He isn't as interested in putting up with relationship bullshit and the women are less interested in him because he's old and used up.

Time-Lord2 · 2020-02-26T16:55:31+00:00

No. I regret not getting married in my 20s because of my older relatives always telling me that was for later. Well I wasn't a mamma's boy, but that didn't help. I think if you find a woman who is attractive in your 20s, she is good, loyal and doesn't have any red flags you should marry her. I would even drop hints after six months or so in order for her to know you're taking her seriously. Some men are crazy against weight gain and must women do put it on, so if that is an issue look at her mom and sisters if she has any and see what they look like. Personally I don't see the problem as long as she isn't a slob and it mostly goes to the thighs like it does in most women, but for men who have a hard no on that it might sound silly, but look at the relatives. Otherwise, look at her character and don't let a good one slip away. You may find yourself at 40 with far worse options. Be aware of the possibility you may get divorced, but try to keep her happy and it probably won't happen. If it happens it happens, have your finances in order just in case.

Willow-girl · 2020-02-27T05:28:07+00:00

If you're itchin' to date a divorced or single mom! Two-thirds of women have children by age 34 and most people pair up with others close to their age, so if you wait, you'll probably end up with a "bonus child."

PierceTheEye · 2020-02-26T14:29:30+00:00

You NEED to rack up experience as a man, otherwise you'll be deemed undesirable/worthless by the vast majority of women later in your life. Most women (if you're different I don't care, don't respond) WILL look down on you and value you less if you don't have sexual experience. It's understandable and totally ok and women need to stop lying about not caring about this. Please for the love of God don't tell me or any man it doesn't matter because it absolutely does and it makes sense. *cough* hypergamy *cough* evolutionary biology *cough*. I don't care if you're consciously aware of it or not, men with little or no sexual experience are low value to women. You don't need to be Chad but as a man when you're young, experience is invaluable and will save you from so much headache later on in your life.

lolomotif12 · 2020-02-26T14:32:34+00:00

This theory is a double edged sword. You might be gaining in N counts and be at your peak SMV in 30's for an LTR but you will lack the experience to vet and have good frame in an LTR. There are some things that you just cant teach and require real life experience through trial and error. The last thing you want to do in your 30's is waste time and have unnecessary drama by making wrong choices and taking bad decisions. I say do both!

Pastelitomaracucho · 2020-02-26T16:41:33+00:00

I would say even into their 40's.

Its hunting season for us in our 30's if we have our shit together. Its a lot of fun.

And as always, kids: don't get married.

DangZagnut · 2020-02-26T15:36:08+00:00

I wouldn’t recommend a ltr for men at all as there’s no benefit. But you do you. Really make a pro/con list and why you need to be in a LTR in the first place.

Worshipping virgins will disappoint you.

Are you under the belief that there’s such a thing as “getting it out of your system”?

wtknight · 2020-02-26T14:55:38+00:00

Sure. If you think that casual sex is the best fun that a man can have in life then it makes sense to have as much of it as possible before exploring the “less fun” option of settling down with one person whom you love and having a family.

statusincorporated · 2020-02-26T17:14:45+00:00

No, it isn't.

Open your eyes and look around. Most men don't get better with age. They get fat, out of shape, and stagnate in their careers.

The best bet is just to (1) start working on yourself and (2) evaluate yourself honestly and adjust your relationship/sexual goals accordingly.

if you're the type of guy who can't get laid outside of a relationship, then you need to be in a relationship to have sex. it's okay, it won't be like that forever, but you need to do what you have to do. Just don't stop working on yourself once you're in one --- that's the key.

if whoever you shack up with isn't the one, sooner or later you will realize that you have other options, provided you --- again -- kept working on yourself, and you'll move on --- either to a relationship with a hotter woman or, if you went really far, the ability to casually just sleep around with women.

Men who constantly improve tend to raise their SMV through their 30's --- they get great bodies from a decade's worth of lifting, they get great habits because of figuring out how to run their own house, they get great careers because they spent a decade working for it, and they look better apart from fitness because with $$ you can fix little cosmetic imperfections, i.e. teeth, better wardrobe, better hair, better skin care, whatever.

I'd argue that women don't start really losing SMV until mid-late 30's, and that's if they were at their max potential in their 20's. You see a lot of women who were maybe fat or something in their 20's see their personal peak SMV in their 30's because they get fit during that time. They also learn faster than other women what to look for in a man, and they won't be looking for someone to support them because they can support themselves.

So for men and women, a lot boils down to working on yourself.

2020-02-26T14:58:10+00:00

[deleted]

dylang92 · 2020-02-26T15:55:32+00:00

Maybe, however it’s not like all men are able to get casual sex in their youth anyway. You can be single throughout your 20s, and you won’t get any casual sex whatsoever. LTRs are really the only way the average man can get sex.

RF111164 · 2020-02-26T16:13:31+00:00

Yeah yeah everyone can buy whatever they want, but everyone's gotta pay the bill at the end

Cicero_Johnson · 2020-02-26T16:23:19+00:00

You should never get married until the thought of banging any other chick leaves you... meh.

That is how you know you have found the right person.

OverEasyFetus · 2020-02-26T16:36:05+00:00

Where are you finding all these women in their 30's or even late 20's that are single? What area of the country do you live in? Where I'm from nearly all the good girls that I would consider are already are married with kids, and did so at a very young age.

It makes me feel like I missed out honestly. But hearing stuff like this makes it a little better, if I want to be a womanizer lol. But it still makes me feel left out.

jayval90 · 2020-02-26T17:57:56+00:00

Why would I want to sleep with hundreds of women? I'm not in the market for STD's or a hundred potential hyper-attached females.

i_have_a_semicolon · 2020-02-26T18:34:59+00:00

I would go with a no. It seems like the highest quality women, I e. The ones who prioritize commitment are looking for a man to snatch them up while they are young and in their prime. If you want such a woman you should snatch them up while young, which means you may be young yourself in order to meet them in your peer group.

ontherailstoday · 2020-02-26T19:38:57+00:00

> Would it not be in men’s advantage to not enter a LTR until mid to late 30s?

Men aren't a monolith and women aren't a monolith. Do what you think is in YOUR best interest as an individual. Take into account the nature of the individuals who are present in YOUR life... for example if you do want kids and marriage and you've got someone good you think you'll never see the like of again it might be foolish to decide to not marry them... on the other hand if there is no such person for you maybe planning to do what is needed to be hot in your thirties (which may be quite a lot of hard work and giving up da vidya games in favor of the gym) is the best available option even if it is not what you really wanted.

Think of your WHOLE future self... not just at the time when he is in his thirties and either being a dad or playing the field.... but also what he's going to be doing in his twenties... his forties... his fifties... his sixties... his seventies what hurdles will you be jumping at each of those eras and what work will you be having to do if you follow a particular path? For example to look good in your thirties and forties are you going to have to spend a lot of time taking care of yourself that you are going to find very hard to do. How do men in your family age anyway? What if you fail to jump one of those hurdles will you be able to accept with good grace what you end up doing instead... knowing it is the result of your decisions?

There is no "men should do this, women should do that"... there are individuals who have very different assets, priorities and aspirations and there is the market... vast, unforgiving, a place of both opportunity and risk.

MuleFool42 · 2020-02-26T22:50:53+00:00

You are exactly right. If you're going to get married as a man, and I don't recommend it, then it is best not to do so until your late 30's to early 40's.

Young men make the mistake of marrying the first woman who shows interest and sell out for an LTR before they hit their prime. It is much better, as you say, for men to be independent and establish themselves in their community, and then play the field. They are more in demand at that point, and don't have to settle for this first thing that comes along.

But again, marriage is a mistake, IMO, for everyone, but especially men.

SeemedGood · 2020-02-27T03:18:51+00:00

In today’s culture it is never beneficial for a man to enter into an LTR.

2020-02-28T04:08:55+00:00

and you can use that as leverage to have fun, date casually and as a by product rack up a high n count yourself but not commit - just as women did in their younger years.

As long as you're honest about it, sure why not? It's a good and sound strategy.

joesmithasdf · 2020-02-28T08:52:08+00:00

I mostly agree, but not every guy looks great at 40, so pick your pick carefully. If you find a good woman, I’d say cash out. Or wait until 40.

CMOAN_MAYNE · 2020-02-26T14:59:50+00:00

Yes but keep in mind that high value women get taken off the market earlier.

Unless you date younger, which you should, waiting until you’re 40 to settle down is a great way to end up with a 20+ N-count chick.

2020-02-26T15:40:04+00:00

Waiting until a certain age doesn’t automatically give you experience. Experience gives you experience.

Common red pill advice - don’t get married or enter an LTR until you’ve slept with at least 20 women. Why?

You will likely have developed the traits of an appealing guy
You won’t get dependent on one girl, develop “oneitis” , etc knowing how similar she is to other women
The ability to get another girl in a relationship helps you hold frame, have confidence, etc. so many simps I know have to deal with a nagging girlfriend or wife because she’s one of the only people he’s slept with. So he plays by her rules. When you don’t need her for that then the relationship plays by your rules, which she generally will prefer anyways

It’s good advice. The person I am now compared to when I started is completely different

2020-02-26T16:29:55+00:00

Just do whatever is right for you. I don’t know why everyone on here wants approval for their life choice. Will this path make yuh happy? Have you considered the pros? The risks? The variables that may affect it and how you will deal with them? If yes and the path is still looking good - go ahead. You will hurt some people along the way and I do believe in minimising the pain you cause other people but I mean there are worse things to be than an old womaniser.

I don’t wanna settle down till I’m in my late 30s-early 40s either. If I wrote that on ppd as a woman I’d get blasted. Have I thought about it? Yes. Does it bother me that people don’t agree with it? No. Are there risks? Yes. Is it the best path for me? Yep.

Title	(Follow up question in regard to earlier post on women with high N count) Should men wait as long as possible to enter a LTR/get married then?
Author	McHonkBurger69
Upvotes	53
Comments	258
Date	February 26, 2020 1:36 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/f9tb4g/follow_up_question_in_regard_to_earlier_post_on/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/follow-up-question-in-regard-to-earlier-post-on.340356 https://theredarchive.com/post/340356

Weak people will always hate it when you use whatever advantage you have. Use it. Win!