"I overheard my 29-yr-old girlfriend say she used to date jerks, and that I'm not exciting at all, but make up for it by being nice, sweet and caring."

kevin32 · 2020-01-06T19:27:26+00:00

Newbosterone · 2020-01-06T13:01:15+00:00

lol, so much spin intended to keep him in his place. No one suggested the obvious answer, treat her like her ex did.

ClockworkOrange92618 · 2020-01-06T14:05:41+00:00

Looks like OP is the retirement plan for this woman. To rub insult into injury, she's telling her friend Lucy that her ex isn't worth dating (but sure was worth fucking) and that she needs to find a financially stable chump to live with and extract resources from.

"Alpha fucks, beta bucks", "ladder theory"; call it whatever you want, but it is 100% real no matter how you phrase it, and looks like it's embraced and out in the open. Men, you have a choice to make: be the one she obsesses over and fucks, or the one who she divorce-rapes and chucks.

sleepyweaselisawake · 2020-01-06T14:05:13+00:00

There's no such thing as an "ex" party girl. There are party girls who aged out and are hoping to settle so they don't end up alone.

I've dated party girls/functional alcoholics. It's fun until it's not fun anymore.

goodmansaysfuckyou · 2020-01-06T13:40:14+00:00

Smack her on the ass and tell her, "I save the fun activities for women who give better head."

TaxMeJersey · 2020-01-06T13:18:10+00:00

Why the fuck are they living together if they are dating? Dude is fucked....

HardEarnedVictory · 2020-01-06T15:03:54+00:00

Whenever I see her since then, I just feel resentment.

"Good, good... Use your aggressive feelings. Let the Hate flow through you."

- Emperor Palpatine on handling disloyal bitches

Screamtothevoid2 · 2020-01-06T13:43:47+00:00

so basically she cucked you emotonally...

SuperGoxxer · 2020-01-06T14:52:47+00:00

Yep, that sinking feeling in your heart/gut when you realized you've been played. We've all been there, at least once.

The difference is whether you allow it to happen again. I hope he gets out, its pretty harsh to be treated like you're disposable.

askmrcia · 2020-01-06T18:28:13+00:00

Yup. My husband was NOT my type. I would always go for the outgoing guys who would say the right things. Eventually, I realized this was Not working for me at all, and around that same time, I fell for my husband. He has amazing morals, a pure heart, good work ethic, selfless, honest, funny, views me as an equal, stays in shape, and is responsible financially.

Lol right under the top comment telling OP that he has a negative outlook on it. Read the comment and you can tell her husband is a beta provider. She clearly said he wasn't her type and she liked him for the following reasons:

Amazing morals, pure heart, selfless, honest = a comfortable beta she settled for
good work ethic financially responsible = makes money cha ching

Nothing about his looks or how he turns her on. But wait!!!! There's more!!!

And the social aspect works for us because he would rather, happily, stay home with our kids and let me go out

Does this really need any explanation? The language used in that comment was "I married by husband because he was a safe choice."

53 upvotes and counting.

BluepillProfessor · 2020-01-06T17:42:42+00:00

The poor guy wants to know how to man up and be "exciting" while at the same time wants his GF to know "how hurt I am."

Sorry pal, thems are mutually exclusive. You see, the key to being "exciting" is that you don't care so much about the drama your woman inflicts on your life. It is like the cat and the flashlight. They play games and make you pounce on the light before jerking it away. Then they get bored. If you ignore their jerking motions and look bored by the light they double down and try to get you to react. THIS is what women think is "exciting." A man they cannot control or jerk around is what women find exciting.

This guy isn't it.

Imperator_Red · 2020-01-06T18:31:51+00:00

Why do I read the comments? It’s always cancer.

Reenas54 · 2020-01-06T14:30:32+00:00

So much people trying to sell him that "feel good bullshit". Now she wants you Mr. Nice guy, you win in the end...

evergreen35 · 2020-01-06T14:27:56+00:00

This guy is so fucked if he stays with her. (Except she's the one who will be getting fucked, and not by him.)

geraldhayne3038 · 2020-01-06T12:56:55+00:00

Good luck. I hope it works out, history is against it, but hopefully you find out she is a unicorn, not a AWALT.

Sub-Sero · 2020-01-06T19:18:01+00:00

What she's saying is fairly obvious to all men and it relates to the inferior and superior paradigm or r/K selection theory, or simplified to masses as alpha fucks, beta bucks. It's an insult to any cognizant man. It does not matter what she 'meant' by it. This is an underhanded insult disguised as a compliment. She knew exactly what she was doing, which is destroying his morale so she can prepare him for the cucklife.

silly_birb · 2020-01-06T18:02:37+00:00

When tired of the cock carousel nothing is better than a boring bench to rest!

Thetrvler · 2020-01-06T18:54:36+00:00

Oh god, she pulled a beta-bux.

Criket · 2020-01-06T13:31:21+00:00

Then be! Kick her out!

admralrustyshcklford · 2020-01-06T18:23:10+00:00

Too many guys out there are trying to be her calm/peace

Be her fucking nightmare. She is now a side piece

NormanMitis · 2020-01-06T15:08:14+00:00

.how do I tell her how hurt I am?

Ironic answer. If only she knew how hurt you were, that would make her think you're exciting.

Blogginginvicecity · 2020-01-09T00:37:35+00:00

It comes down to respect. She didn't respect him as he hoped, and now he doesn't respect her as she hopes. A lack of respect is going to throw a wrench in things.

rvail136 · 2020-01-07T04:05:15+00:00

Oh she settled, alright, and you'll pay for that privilege so suck it up butter cup.

velowalker · 2020-01-06T16:25:32+00:00

First off hear things, don't overhear things. One is active the other is passive lurking. Do you appreciate being nice sweet and caring? They are not bad traits at all but bestow them on the correct person.

This last thing do for yourself. Make a self assessment. Do you want adventure, excitement, thrills, travel? Make a plan, make a change, make it happen. This is your future self giving you a golden ticket so use it. Active life. The time is now.

Zulucobra33 · 2020-01-10T00:04:06+00:00

Bury her face in the mattress and fuck her senseless. Women need the bad boy treatment now-and-again.

caralto · 2020-01-07T07:17:55+00:00

he needs to go full alpha on her, e.g. foot to head, while fucking her in the ass, nothing shows domination, like hearing an entitled girl squeal ^fine ^print: ^consensually ^of ^course ^lol

corey_trevorson · 2020-01-06T17:29:18+00:00

I'm going to attempt to give some real advice which is be honest with her. If you like her, you should be able to talk about it. Maybe you can just ask her if there's anything you two can do to mix things up a bit and make the relationship more exciting.. There's plenty of activities outside of sex that can be fun and have a tolerable degree of "risk" to them. I know this sub will take "excitement" as a euphemism for "fucking dangerous Chads" or whatever, but launching yourself into the air off a snowboard ramp is pretty fucking dangerous and exhilarating too. Sex is not the only way to produce feelings of excitement.

Title	"I overheard my 29-yr-old girlfriend say she used to date jerks, and that I'm not exciting at all, but make up for it by being nice, sweet and caring."
Author	kevin32
Upvotes	191
Comments	97
Date	January 6, 2020 12:54 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/comments/ekts8m/i_overheard_my_29yrold_girlfriend_say_she_used_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/i-overheard-my-29-yr-old-girlfriend-say-she-used.342612 https://theredarchive.com/post/342612