Overheard my [26M] fiancé [24F] tell her friend on the phone that she “settled for being with me,” and that marrying me was her “last resort.”

29,631 points2,652 commentssubmitted by Visaul to r/relationship_advice6

Update 2: Just did one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. Today after breakfast I told her we should “sit down and talk.” She was hesitant, but I said it was important. We went to the living room and she said to me “I already know what this is about.” My post apparently made it to the front page, so of course she saw it after scrolling down a bit under “popular.” Of course the water works started happening right away. I told her what she said had deeply hurt me, but obviously she already knew that since she read my post. Through her tears, she said “I was just joking, I wasn’t serious.” She then went on saying stuff like “I love you, I love you.” I told her I can’t be in a marriage where my S/O doesn’t love me the same way I love them. She tried to tell me that she loved me and that I meant something to her. But it was all bullshit. She said she “didn’t want to lose me.” I told her I don’t think this marriage was the right decision. And from there I basically told her it was over. I told her I knew how she really felt about me, and that it was fucked yo she basically played with my emotions. For all those wondering, we have no kids, and I pay fully for the apartment we live in, and I own almost everything we have other then her clothes. I even pay for her car. So after all of this she’ll have little to nothing left. Before our marriage, we agreed to sign a pre-nup, and at that moment, I’ve never been so happy with a decision I’ve made in my life. After that it was a few second of awkward silence, before she said to me “Fuck you.” She started screaming at me, telling me “you just can’t end things like that.” I told her I could do whatever I wanted, and that’s when she became very hostile. She screamed at me saying, “You’re the fucking worst relationship I’ve ever been in. You think I can’t find someone again?” “Do you think you’ll ever from someone as good as me? You’re a fucking idiot [my name].” She grabbed her bag and phone, and said “I’m leaving!” Before slamming the door behind her. At that moment I felt like I was on one of those dramatic sitcoms you’d find of TV. I sat down on the couch and cried, and I’m still crying as I type this up. It’s both happy and sad tears, and I knew it was only time before she cheated on me or left me. She never loved me, it was obvious. Our relationship only went one way, and I feel like a complete idiot for not seeing it earlier I live in California, and I’m gonna start the process to annul our marriage. Tomorrow, I’m gonna start throwing all of her belongings in to trash bags, cause that’s essentially where they belong. (I’m not throwing out her stuff. Just using the trash bags as a way to give her back the things she owns.) Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all of your kind words and your great advice. All of you gave me the courage to stand up for myself, and I know my life will certainly improve as a result.

Edit/Update: Thanks everyone for the kind words! Really has made me feel a lot better! Going to be talking to her soon. Also, I noticed a lot of people thinking this post is fake, I understand how it could be seen that way, but it isn’t. I’ve been engaged to her for over a year and a half, and just 3 months ago we got married. Not really used to calling her my “wife” yet. Also I used an old alt since she uses Reddit. Anyways thanks for the advice everyone, it amazes me how people on the Internet can care so much about a person they don’t even know. I’m going to talk to her today. I will be updating you all soon after.

Edit: Meant to put wife in the title but now I can’t change it.

Basically the title. I overheard my wife talking to one of her best friends on the phone while I was passing the bedroom. This friend is in a serious relationship. My wife then said to her, “Sweetie, remember it’s your choice. Don’t settle for just anyone. That’s the mistake I made. Who knows who else I could of had. [My name] was my very last resort, and now look where it made me end up.” Hearing that honestly broke my heart in two. Does she even love me? Why am I being treated as a second base?

Am I being dramatic and overreacting? I haven’t said anything about it since. I honestly don’t know what to do, but hearing her say has really made me upset.