"My wife just told me I'm the guy she settled for financially and that she can't get over her ex."

kevin32 · 2019-07-26T13:31:57+00:00

A friendly reminder that we're not here to shame beta men. See u/moorekom's recent announcement here.

I also want to add that we don't allow beta behavior ("Don't be this guy") posts of men complaining about dead bedrooms, poly/open relationships, or their partner's infidelity while staying in the relationship. We're not here to expose beta behavior or women taking advantage of men and getting away with it. We only allow such posts on the weekend if it's a clear case of dual-mating strategy like the OP, to warn men about what to expect if they date single moms and carousel riders. But bear in mind we aim to expose the woman's dating behavior, not shame the man who is blue-pilled as we once were. Generic cheating or dead bedroom posts are NOT allowed if there is no evidence of past promiscuity or her wanting him for financial stability.

loneliness-inc · 2019-07-26T14:01:15+00:00

She promised that she wasn't cheating on me and told me that she'll be completely honest from now on.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Nice joke pal, doesn't sound like you believe it yourself.

Here's what happened. He was unlucky in dating and he saw a girl who he thought was out of his league. The reason he thought so was because he was thinking with his little head. Had he been thinking with his big head, he would have realized that his life was a series of responsible choices and hers was a serious of irresponsible choices.

She showed interest in him and he was over the moon about it. He was so drunk on her that he missed all the glaring red flags. He forgot that he, not her was the prize.

And here you have it. Irresponsible women, women with crazy high demands, women who are damaged goods, women who rode the cock carousel until the wheels fell off, women who hit the wall and single mothers - the only way they can win is by blinding a man with lust! They only win when he thinks with his little head.

Think about that. They only win when they can successfully make you a little more stupid, at least temporarily.

But eventually the stupidity wears off and the bitter reality kicks in. Men don't redpill men, women redpill men!

SilverGryphon · 2019-07-26T14:11:24+00:00

When I first saw her, I knew she was waay out of my league. But when I started interacting with her, I was really drawn to her.

That was his mistake right there and then. I am sure there were signs that she was just not into him but he took the bait regardless.

Oh and she's 40 but she is still chasing Alpha Fucks? If anyone needs to be taken to the infirmary for their delusion it's this woman.

ClockworkOrange92618 · 2019-07-26T15:09:50+00:00

But but I don't understand!?!? I thought a woman fucking all the men she could in her 20's was empowering, and the man she ended up marrying would be the winner and a "Real Man^{^TM} "?

Men like this get suckered because society keeps pushing women's dual-mating strategy as normal. I plan on warning all my nephews and really any teenager with enough sense to listen..

IdoNtEvEnWaTz · 2019-07-26T13:58:44+00:00

Damn are women more blackpilled than men?

BarryBenbow · 2019-07-26T16:05:42+00:00

30 years ago, he coulda ratcheted down his expectations, married his mousey-but-quirky-cute looksmatch, started a family, and be a proud grandpa by now, but these days Superbonerelli in Italy has probably got Mousey/Cute pining for him as well.

Give men permission to be promiscuous and they'll sleep with as many women as they can. Give women permission to be promiscuous, and they'll all sleep with the same man.

houseoftolstoy · 2019-07-26T14:31:50+00:00

It baffles me that they were together for 11 years and there was no marriage that came of it. It tells me that neither of them were all that serious about marriage, since they would either be married or she would have left him far sooner than that. But it appears that she did want marriage, but was unable to get it from her ex. She saw our OP as a mark and nothing else, because she was running out of time to get the husband and family she wanted (allegedly). I say allegedly since marriage was clearly not important enough for her to not break up with the guy who gave her no marriage after 11 years.

This is not to say that marriage is a requirement for everyone, but rather that you should either make sure you are getting what you are wanting in a relationship or get out. Her ex must have been a stud if she was willing to wait 11 years for no marriage, and still long for him after she was married. It also shows that the charm she cranked to 11 for OP was nothing but an act, because if she really loved him, she would not be desiring her ex still.

TerpsMakeMeDrink · 2019-07-26T13:34:47+00:00

Soft_Bandicoot · 2019-07-26T15:13:48+00:00

The twins are probably not his.

Tracergold · 2019-07-26T15:48:21+00:00

If this isn’t a perfect summary of what we all here already realized, then I don’t know what is.

When the woman was young and hot, she fucked every bad boy she could. After she crashed through the wall, she used her waning looks to snag a financially-successful beta who has never had any success with women.

I’ve seen this happen to former classmates from grad school.

Anyway, living a lie like the OP is bad enough. But to add insult to injury, his wife is so empowered by feminism that she feels entitled to continue fucking the bad boys— all on her husband’s dime.

American Feminism encourages and endorses this scenario. Make no mistake.

Autisticus · 2019-07-26T15:17:19+00:00

WHEW

She told me that she had many partners before and I was completely honest with her about my abysmal dating record. She told me that she was never in a long term relationship.

They had this conversation AFTER getting married.

MarkBoabaca · 2019-07-26T14:56:06+00:00

Unfortunately, OP is learning a hard lesson about women in general. When he comes out of this abysmal mess, hopefully with his mental faculties intact after the emotional destruction his soon-to-be-ex-wife has caused, he will be disabused of the Disney fairy tale world concept.

FutureIsManAndRobot · 2019-07-26T14:46:48+00:00

Yep, I'm loaded and no woman will ever settle for my finances because I won't give them this opportunity, and it's not fault of trying among the ones I know. I feel bad for this lad, there is nothing wrong with loving money but work for yourself and not to get laid.

bushwicksick · 2019-07-26T15:05:27+00:00

Reading this post really boiled my blood. This is what the modern female does. There is truly no reason to marry any of these bitches. It is best to pump and dump or ABSOLUTE worst case scenario, off and on relationship. Never let a female close to you. They are devoid of a moral compass and will always screw you of your money/time/sanity if given the chance. Let them eat shit. I feel sorry for that dude. There is no reason to berate/insult him etc. We need to keep doing our work on this forum and spreading the truth about females and their nature.

TooFatToMatt · 2019-07-26T18:27:49+00:00

She has no respect for him. He's literally just a utility to her. The really shitty thing is that she can't lose. The relationship is pretty much over, but the marriage could last indefinitely. If it doesn't, she'll clean him out in the divorce, he'll lose most of what he's worked for. She might try to maintain the facade until the twins are a little older, but he's going to be miserable regardless. I'm sure he loves his children, it seems like they're the only positive thing to come from this situation for him.

kapitalidea · 2019-07-26T19:43:09+00:00

Just keep boning her in the ass and nutting on her face. If she wants to bang a hot guy and settle for your money, at least you know you can use your hooker how you want. Bought and paid for. You can track her phone and cancel her credit cards and do anything you want now, you own her.

Cyanide-Cookies · 2019-07-26T18:22:22+00:00

I'm so glad I found places like this subreddit and many other sites like it that detail how women truly are and their various mating strategies.

That man could have easily been me or any of us had we not got wise to womens bullshit.

askmrcia · 2019-07-26T17:46:36+00:00

These are the guys that women like to target once they hit the wall.

And these types of marriages hardly ever work out. Women can play this strategy all they want, sleep around and hope to settle for someone they not attracted too. Sounds good in theory until they realize that they have to keep lying and keep putting in extra effort to sneak around behind Hubby's back.

I doubt the ex boyfriend will take her back outside of using her as a fuck toy because that is all she's worth.

I didn't see him mention anything about kids so there's that.

saiborg7 · 2019-07-26T19:06:04+00:00

This shit is just heart breaking. I have seen this time and again...Nice dudes getting conned by asshole women.
For the guys, if you know that you are financially strong, this specifically goes to my fellow software engineers, devs and any kind of computer nerds. Be analytical... analyze every single move before you end up loving (that shit is irrational and fucks up the best decision makers) and prenup is king. The amount of discipline y'all show in figuring out code and learning something new, put that effort towards self care as well. Fucking lift, get a good haircut, carry yourself well... it helps a lot.
I feel quite horrible for this dude. I hope OP, kicks her to the curb and starts working on himself.

harharry · 2019-07-26T20:17:38+00:00

What a POS woman. Makes me have sympathy for Russian laws(where they passed a law allowing husbands to physically discipline their wives for bad behavior).

TheImpossible1 · 2019-07-26T17:38:06+00:00

Fucking hell. I feel so sorry for that guy. Women are fucking trash.

toysjoe · 2019-07-26T19:52:03+00:00

Pleasantly surprised by the lack of “you should be grateful she chose you” and “she’s mature now”.

edgysecularist · 2019-07-26T19:58:14+00:00

AWALT, AWALT AND AWALT

Sipsipsubidibao · 2019-07-27T01:36:34+00:00

r/MGTOW, "We don't recruit, we just welcome the comers."

Flesh_Pillow5 · 2019-07-26T19:38:01+00:00

I feel bad for guys who are married

MRMRising · 2019-07-26T20:18:33+00:00

and we have 2yo twin girls now.

Damn, poor guy, she will get the kids in the divorce and he will have to pay her CS.

She told me that she had many partners

She can't pair bond, not with anybody. She is headed for divorce no matter who she marries.

I asked her why she married me, and she told me that I was a really good guy and I was financially successful, which was more important in a relationship.

And there you have it, she finally just told the truth.

[deleted] · 2019-07-26T20:47:36+00:00

The frustrating thing about this BS is that, as a man, we have a lot to offer women - but to be someone's backup plan is a terrible disservice to that man. Sucks that women use men like this.

ImAWhoDat · 2019-07-26T22:54:32+00:00

So this chick got this dude to fund a vacation to Italy so she could go and fuck her ex halfway around the world.

*SHEESH*

The_Frag_Man · 2019-07-26T18:04:05+00:00

This is just sad. Poor guy.

Mreeder16 · 2019-07-26T19:32:27+00:00

Unfortunately at some point this wife will likely leave him and soak him for every dollar he is worth because that’s all she’s interested in from him anyway

[deleted] · 2019-07-26T20:54:56+00:00

Hoe married successful beta then fucks poor but hot alpha ex boyfriend behind his back. Sounds about right. Dump that gold digging bitch.

TwilightSea · 2019-07-26T22:55:11+00:00

"There are good girls out there" I call fucking bullshit

saltlakeshady · 2019-07-26T18:50:15+00:00

> Offer to take her to Italy again. Fly back in the middle of the night and leave her there. File for divorce.

So I very seldom agree with vengeful comments I see on some of these subs since I'm not an angry type person but this one is the perfect revenge and probably how I would handle it.

quesoburgesa · 2019-07-26T20:20:34+00:00

This ring finger stayin tan forever

NobodyP1 · 2019-07-26T20:36:29+00:00

/redpill

anotherdumbcaucasian · 2019-07-26T22:01:06+00:00

said she didnt sleep with him

Yeah, she did. I can guarantee it. That's why she tried to hide it.

Sub-Sero · 2019-07-26T22:10:08+00:00

She told me that she had many partners before and I was completely honest with her about my abysmal dating record. She told me that she was never in a long term relationship.

This woman has no pair-bonding left in her after so many partners. She's only looking for security, primarily financial! Everything else is secondary and she's willing to compromise on various factors such as a average or ugly looking man. The economic factor is the determining factor in many women who've hit the wall at 25/30 years old. When they're older and dilapidated and the Chad's under 30 are increasingly not giving them the time of day. All these women will increasingly grow to resent their billybetaboy provider.

She told him AFTER securing the bag of gold, the resources and his unwavering support by marrying this poor sap. He stepped on a landmine and he didn't have the reaction to it that she wanted, so she stopped her masquerade and bluntly told him, he is the betabux, but she needs the alphafux that she has had an on and off relationship with for 11 years! Inferring that it is time for a open marriage and for him to become sexless but not daring to come out and say she cheated on him in Italy, she's just priming him for that truth. I see /r/deadbedrooms in his future.

Even when we present scientifically studied facts and have even peer reviewed such studies, most men refuse to believe it the true nature of women. I've come to accept that allot of men simply need to experience the cold harsh nature of women before they are convinced. I've come to realize that we don't recruit men with stating facts or 'red-pilling' them, i think it only works on a very few men in general. I think that men come to face this reality and find like minded men only after their world has shattered and they've had their teeth kicked in, which is a true shame.

[deleted] · 2019-07-27T00:03:52+00:00

Awalt

jayhat79 · 2019-07-27T00:39:05+00:00

She lied from jump about never having a long term relationship. Get all of it in text/email and use that shit. Damn.

gprime · 2019-07-27T00:42:32+00:00

I feel sorry for this guy, but this was an avoidable problem, and not through "holding frame" or any TRP nonsense that supposes one can render themselves high value and that having said value magically alleviates problems. Rather, he could've avoided this by having the good sense not to marry. There is literally no upside to ever doing so for most men, be they alpha or beta or omega or whatever term you care to use. The only defense of marriage that withstands scrutiny is having kids given the superior outcomes marriage produces for them, but that in turn requires deciding to become a parent in the face of the substantial legal risks society imposes that make it such a terrible bargain for men. If he wanted to maintain a non-marriage relationship with this woman, what happened would still have been awful, but he could've extricated himself without the pending financial ruin that will follow from the very necessary divorce, assuming he files for one as he should.

LegacyAccountComprom · 2019-07-26T21:16:54+00:00

Yet another painful reminder that AWALT

Raider_Scavver · 2019-07-27T04:15:16+00:00

Women's rights was a huge mistake.

ManateeGag · 2019-07-27T21:18:22+00:00

How would go over the other way. If he said "You know honey, you are the one I settled for. I'm not over my hot ex. You know, the one with the big tits and the the tight ass?"

His shit would be on fire in the driveway by noon the next day.

TheAnarxoCapitalist · 2019-07-26T18:47:19+00:00

Pure example of a blue pilled simp...

remoteAdapterProng · 2019-09-03T13:09:34+00:00

Women keep a beta provider for financial reasons, and an alpha for the tingles. In her eyes you are a walking ATM machine. I would just divorce her immediately. Better to cut out the cancer before it exponentially grows in size. I say take your lost and move on with your life. Also get a paternity test because depending on what country you are in, it could help you reduce the amount of alimony you have to pay. Remember the family court is a circus, and the judges are clowns.

Haytch1234 · 2019-09-15T14:09:45+00:00

So your wife sees you as an ATM?

You know what do.

EdwardSandchest · 2019-12-01T17:37:12+00:00

He thinks he's insecure...no dude, your right. That is how people think of you.

thunderbro2430 · 2019-07-26T21:30:59+00:00

But she dated 1 guy for 11 years. That’s not riding the CC. That’s why n-count is meaningless ( within reason/ single digits) and some guys on here take it for gospel. A girl who dated 1 guy for 11 years in going to be way more emotionally attached ( low n count) than a few flings girl ( with a higher n -count).

Title	"My wife just told me I'm the guy she settled for financially and that she can't get over her ex."
Author	kevin32
Upvotes	610
Comments	147
Date	July 26, 2019 1:26 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/comments/ci2ufh/my_wife_just_told_me_im_the_guy_she_settled_for/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/my-wife-just-told-me-im-the-guy-she-settled-for.344798 https://theredarchive.com/post/344798