When done effectively, analogies, parables, allegories, and metaphors can be powerful ways to convey a point. The subs, sites, blogs, and other forums that cover the material we cover here tend to be explicit. This is also a good thing, as numerous examples may be the best way to uncover patterns.

I have heard the analogy below used before, so I must add this disclaimer: I do not remember where I found this, but it is my take on someone else’s great work.

So here it goes:

Imagine you have a daughter who has fallen in love with a young man, let’s call him Bradley. They are both approaching 30 years of age, both college grads, and they are now ready to start their lives together. When you meet this young man, you are impressed; he is smart, charming, easy going, and he really seems to love your daughter. They get along well, and they seem genuinely happy.

At a holiday gathering, drinks are flowing and you hear Brad talking with other family members out on the back deck. Upon eavesdropping, you find out the following about Bradley:

  1. He inherited two million dollars worth of gold coins and took possession of them at the age of 16.
  2. He met a girl in Senior year of HS, and spent over $100,000 on her because she was so cute and hot and fun. She was a bad girl and, well, who can blame him.
  3. In college he spent freshman year giving away significant chunks of his inheritance to girls from Kappa Kappa Skanka, the most notoriously predatory group of women on campus. He did this, every weekend, because "everyone else was doing it". He justified it saying “This was the time to ‘get it out of my system before settling down’. Besides, I had so much money that I would have plenty left after college.”
  4. By Junior year, he slowed it down a little. He realized that every one of the countless women who were taking his money really had no interest in him beyond getting that gold. It started feeling bad about it, so he decided to take a semester off to find a “good woman”. Unfortunately the best women were already taken by more stable, reliable, and often less affluent men. Many of them had plans to get married after school.
  5. After graduation at 22, he had about half his money left. So he realized it was time to hunker down and “get serious” about life. His partying ways in college meant he had a low GPA and could not remember a lot of what he learned. He had a hard time competing in the job market, and so he hopped from job to job and now works as a Dental Assistant.
  6. During the intervening years before meeting your daughter, he used Tinder as his primary dating app, and he met many young women that way. He kept meeting the same sort of predatory women who were only after him for his money. This made him feel bad. Very bad. He started losing faith in women; despite the fact that he was using a hookup app for dating, and was the one making the decision on who to date.
  7. Mid – party, you go to the bathroom and open up a browser window on your phone to check this guy’s name. You see a lot of photos of him partying, getting tattoos (bible quotes and various sorts of “spiritual expression”), drinking, smoking, and dabbling in drugs.

You also find out that Bradley has two children with different women. That is how he lost the largest part of his inheritance – the law didn’t make him give away that money, he did so willingly. Despite this, these two baby mamas are after him for child support. He has the part time job to keep those child support payments to a minimum. Still, he talks about them in glowing terms – they are still just “friends” and they still hang out sometimes. He speaks ill of women, but not these two in particular.

After the party when everyone is gone, it is just you and your daughter. You sit her down and ask her how serious she is about this guy. She says she loves Bradley and wants to marry him.

You ask her if she knows about his past and the photos and she says: Yes. You ask her about his inheritance, and she says: “Dad, look, I know you have concerns, and I appreciate that. Bradley has about $5,000 worth of gold coins left out of the original $2 million. "He only has a part time job to avoid getting reamed by his evil exes who abused him. Besides, he is happy and he loves me. “Besides”, she protests “I am not in love with his money. I love him for him. His past doesn’t matter to me.”

The most odd part of this whole story is that Bradley still swaggers around like a rich kid. He does not seem to understand that any value that money had for him when he was younger is now gone. He FEELS wealthy, but now he is just a barely employed person with a bit of money in the bank and a lot of baggage. Something about his swagger is attractive to your daughter though.

She is a talented successful professional, and she has a big heart. She feels bad for Brad and wants to "save him."

You love your daughter with all your heart. You raised her well. You band-aided her skinned knees, held her in your lap as she cried because that boy in middle school ignored her and broke her heart. You paid for every gymnastics class, went to every softball game, and every recital, and awards ceremony. You changed her diaper countless times, you bottle fed her, and stayed up with her when she was sick. You helped her study her way through HS, and you helped pay for her college. She is a beautiful, intelligent, kind, good woman; a rare find in today’s world. You invested everything you had into this beautiful little human being. She has the whole world at her feet.

Bradley is the love of your daughter’s life.

By now I hope the analogy is obvious. But just in case it is not - Bradley is the male version of Carol.

The women we see here so often are born with a wealth of beauty and sexual power. And instead of investing it in attracting and retaining a good man, they spend it - they waste their most precious natural inheritance on foolish men and players.

Similarly, Bradley was exceedingly fortunate to have been born into wealth. But instead of investing this wealth, using good judgment and sound reasoning to build a future for himself and his family, he spent it. He wasted almost all of his money on frivolous things and manipulative people, and now he is pretty much broke. Perhaps he did this because he did not have to earn it. Perhaps he didn’t know better. Perhaps he though the gravy train would never end. Who knows?

But two things are very clear. Bradley has very bad judgment, and he will never ever get that money back. His arrogance, under the circumstances, is grating on you now. He has proven himself to be wasteful, foolish, hedonistic, and short-term oriented. He will almost certainly make a bad partner for your daughter.

You might also start wondering, despite how amazing your daughter is, where you went wrong with her. Why would she even entertain a man like this?

What would you tell her?

Edit: Cross posting this as suggested by /u/moorekom. Also cleaned up some grammar.