Mother Damsel in distress, need to find my Prince Charming, now!

Westernhagen · 2019-06-13T16:00:11+00:00

Why would my mom love it if I brought home a 24 year old girl that already had some other dudes kid in tow?

sleepyweaselisawake · 2019-06-13T16:01:45+00:00

"All I find (fuck) are frogs."

I'm not interested in going on safari or supporting your child. So, I'm gonna pass.

Owner2229 · 2019-06-13T16:04:59+00:00

Oh dear, she's been watching too much Disney bullshit. But I don't recall many single mothers in Disney films - YET.

WhiteningMcClean · 2019-06-13T17:00:28+00:00

*Refers to herself as a princess*

"I promise I'm very down to earth"

sshevie · 2019-06-13T16:43:53+00:00

Why would you date a woman that had a child 50% frog?

Velvet_Hammer_ · 2019-06-13T17:14:46+00:00

Just from what we can see in her pic, it begs the question: why are modern, young women so irretrievably broken? Does she even remotely appear to be an ideal mother for your, hers, and who knows who else's children? Does she even remotely resemble a lady? Is she at all grounded in reality?

Meet my mother? I don't even want to meet YOU! My mom, in her old 1950s-60s lingo would flat out tell me, "She looks like a fast girl!" No, youngsters, that is not a compliment on her athletic speed and agility. :)

grizzer99 · 2019-06-13T16:27:24+00:00

Dyed short hair, single mom, expects some "Price Charming" after her time on the CC. No thanks. Too much emotional baggage and daddy issues for me

PhotosyntheticChad · 2019-06-13T17:21:49+00:00

Sorry, you’ve got a kid and I hate children.

Shame.

I really could’ve seen myself losing half of my assets to you in 20 years.

Gordon-G · 2019-06-13T16:36:06+00:00

Oh dear god... NO !!!

Also besides the kid and shit job other 🚩 red flags... porn finger nails and dyed hair

ponlm · 2019-06-13T16:55:17+00:00

Completely missing the point of the frog story

Chairman_Ellen_Pao · 2019-06-13T16:49:33+00:00

She passed out drunk and someone drew eyebrows on her with a permanent marker.

6FigsBy24 · 2019-06-13T17:22:02+00:00

My mom would love me getting a used pussy that costs a million bucks for 18 years of use.

Chairman_Ellen_Pao · 2019-06-13T17:03:22+00:00

So she's not down for a DP with Pepe the Frog and Kermit? ☹️

spaghetti_hitchens · 2019-06-13T17:18:36+00:00

All I find are frogs.

Really guys: it's you, not me. My choices are not to blame in my many failed relationships. It's all you guys. Don't be like that.

DeeplyDisturbed1 · 2019-06-13T17:36:23+00:00

Dear PlastiCakes,

Nice to meet you. I am Deeply Disturbed (double meaning there in case you missed it). Before we get started trying to know one another, might I suggest that you have one of your colleagues do your makeup, take a new photo and repost. Trust me. Don't ask, just do it.

Now. Onto what we can here for:

Isn't every princess supposed to have a Prince Charming?

Well well. How to tackle this one...Hmmm...

No cupcakes. Not in real, regular life and not in actual Monarchies. Have you seen a photo of an actual prince lately? The women who marry actual prince charming are under a tremedous amount of pressure all day every day. You ain't up to snuff for that PlastiCakes.

Besides, if one of these guys stepped up to you, and you did not know they were actual royalty. How would you treat them?

Yeah. Moving on...

Cuz all I have found are frogs.

So PlastiCakes. Here's the way it works. If you sleaze around in swamps, that's sort of all you are going to find. Right? Also, the type of fish you catch is directly related to the bait you use.

I am not sure how to say this delicately, so I will just come out and say it. The problem is YOU Plasticakes. You are frequenting frog swamps AND you are using frog bait. Do you really expect any different?

I promise I am very down to earth

That is a tough sell PCakes. Your photo indicates someone who is about as far from "down to earth" as it gets - not to mention the "princess" complex you have going on there.

the type of girl your mom will love

Yeah, well my Mom "Loved" my psycho ex, so she ain't gonna do you any favors in this regard.

Please don't waste my time.

Wait. What? Out of context this comment ruins your whole vibe, it harshes your mellow, it melts your chill, it pisses in your cornflakes, it rains on your parade; in other words it fucks up your whole profile.

I also snap.

So does my 8 year old niece, so what are you telling me?

And yes I am a single mom.

Well, well, well. There it is. Tacked on at the end as a disclaimer or afterthought sort of thing. Were you hoping that we wouldn't see that, but you could get points for being honest at least- right?

Good luck PlastiCakes. You will be just fine. Kiss a few more frogs - one will turn into Prince Charming sooner or later. I promise

Oh, and change your anthem. That song is weird.

TheREexpert44 · 2019-06-13T17:30:42+00:00

I'm shocked so many of them mention the kid. You would think they could con more people into hooking up with them if they waited until after a date or 2 to tell them. Rather than putting it right out there to turn them away instantly.

BluepillProfessor · 2019-06-13T18:04:54+00:00

If I had brought this home to my mom she would have spewed vicious hatred about her nonstop. She would have LOVED to write 15 page letters outlining every detail of how she despises her.

Darling, the moral is NOT: Grab as many frogs out of the pond I can find and keep kissing them with my increasingly aging and disgusting lips, dripping slime, and hoping one will turn into a prince.

The moral of the frog and princess story is to keep your promises, and if you have to kiss a frog do it. With some effort and honesty you might find out the frog is really a prince.

Why should you stick with the frog and keep your promises? Because you ignorant slut. Using your increasingly filthy lips, dripping slime, to sample one frog after another is just fucking gross.

UpperClassStout · 2019-06-13T19:14:48+00:00

Is it just me or is it at the point now where when you see "I am a single mom" or "Single mother" or however they want to say it, it autocorrects in your head to "Yes. I am a whore who's had so many dicks in my wanton crotch hole that your head would fucking spin if you found out".

SpankMyMetroid · 2019-06-13T17:27:53+00:00

So you let a frog impregnate you, hun?

ihateshadylandlords · 2019-06-13T17:33:41+00:00

“All I’ve found are frogs...”

Yeah, and you let one of them dump a load in you. Frogs finish first in the modern dating game. I’m sure this won’t screw up society at all 🐸

Blogginginvicecity · 2019-06-13T17:33:24+00:00

She spelled liability wrong

wastelandchic · 2019-06-13T22:20:47+00:00

Hi-I sell lipstick at Ulta and I'm quickly realizing that I'm not as down to earth as I originally thought [read: my broke ass can't have the things I desire on $11.50/hour]. I'm starting to develop expensive tastes and I need things that I can't possibly hope to provide of my own accord + I'm sick to death of raising this little shit by myself. If you could just step in and accept my busted up roast beef sandwich as compensation for all the things I'm going to irrationally and selfishly demand of your wallet, er, I mean of you, that would be amazing Of course I'll slowly wean you of my sloppy pink hole over time as I begin cultivating relationships with thugs like the one I conceived my little demon child with but by that time I'll have you hooked on bi-monthly sex and you'll treat it like it's a rare treat and be thankful when you get it.

NickTesla2018 · 2019-06-13T18:33:33+00:00

Single mom? That's the pin on the hand grenade. Blammo!

SilverGryphon · 2019-06-13T19:50:42+00:00

If I show up at home with this kind of girl my mom would kick me out of the house

ConnorGracie · 2019-06-14T03:03:09+00:00

Single mom is a permanent position.

RF111164 · 2019-06-14T03:47:53+00:00

princess = entitled

all I've found are frogs = all I've chosen to this point are 'badboys'

very = not

Gravityhurtsbrother · 2019-06-14T11:52:27+00:00

Why the hell would my mom want me to show up with a single mom? She's old school my mom and would flat out call her a slut to her face.

Somethingingsome · 2019-06-13T19:00:44+00:00

LOL my mom wouldn't be proud if I brought over a girl that has a stray cat following her around.

Chairman_Ellen_Pao · 2019-06-13T19:01:42+00:00

Pourquoi cette spéciale princesse n'aime pas les Français?

[deleted] · 2019-06-13T19:25:47+00:00

Having a kid and looking for s relationship isn't bad. The frog and mom thing kind of makes her sound immature though.

Blogginginvicecity · 2019-06-13T19:28:05+00:00

"...and yes your expectations of a modern 24y.o. on Tindr are absolutely correct."

Djcrenshaw35 · 2019-06-13T21:37:03+00:00

My gawd... the eye shadow of deception.

LowWafer8 · 2019-06-13T22:25:39+00:00

too bad megan markle snapped up prince harry before this beauty. he woulda jumped at this little princess for sure!

x6x6x61982 · 2019-06-14T07:34:33+00:00

I also snap, yeah we know what you mean...

r8001 · 2019-06-14T08:02:35+00:00

Down to earth. Princess.... Female logic never fails to amuse.

DJCHERNOBYL · 2019-06-14T11:26:02+00:00

Cosmetic sales associate...works at ulta

unpropaganda · 2019-06-27T20:24:03+00:00

She's only found frogs because she's a toadstool.

Title	Mother Damsel in distress, need to find my Prince Charming, now!
Author	dawgbone31
Upvotes	400
Comments	92
Date	June 13, 2019 3:34 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/comments/c07ac5/mother_damsel_in_distress_need_to_find_my_prince/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/mother-damsel-in-distress-need-to-find-my-prince.345330 https://theredarchive.com/post/345330