TL;DR: An American spent three years as an expatriate in Thailand where he enjoyed the comfortable SE Asia lifestyle. Parts of it annoyed him but overall it was a positive experience. He moves back to the US for his career and lays out how miserable everyone is.
Stickman is a famous (to expats in Thailand) New Zealander who lived in Thailand for 16 or 17 years, recording the comings and goings of Bangkok and Pattaya's world famous sexpat bar scene. He writes a weekly column that covers various topics from culture, language, sex, legal trouble, corruption, food, history, and everything in between. Expats regularly write in and share their stories, this is just one of those stories.
Read the entire submission here. God only knows why he included his full name and email address. Hopefully it's a pseudonym. He uses RP terminology so it's possible he will see this thread....
After the glow of happy returns wore off, I have to be honest with the fact that I just don't like the US lifestyle. I came back to give the west a full on fair shake. I even saw it with new eyes. And there's much I really love about US that I had to be away from before I could appreciate it. It truly is a tremendous land of amazing professional opportunity, as well as a place where self development is encouraged and valued. Every system is crooked, but the corruption here is way toned down compared to SE Asia. The work place has some clowns, but is largely a meritocracy, where good workers are advanced, and losers get let go. People try hard. They want to make things better. The innovate. But what's really turning me off is how processed it all is. How boring. It feels like this grey machine. A conveyor belt. Relationships feel flimsy. Everybody works. Watches TV. Works more. The amount of hostility towards men is repulsive, as it plays out in the workplace and in media. But the underground of MGTOW and Red Pill is filled with a tremendous amount of hostility as well. I just really can't believe how unhappy and depressed most people in the west are. It's like there is this War on Love, destroying relationships between lovers, friends, and communities. There's not much neighborhood or local cohesion. I feel everybody keeps busy busy busy all the time, working buying and watching, working buying and watching, to avoid admitting how bleak and punishing the average life is here. I don't want to support it. I don't want to fit in and be part of it.
The West is a grey machine. A conveyor belt. Fuck I got goosebumps when I read that. I know we are brainwashed in the US but it's hard to fathom just how deep into our psychology the washing seeps in.
I have no regrets I left Thailand, and in terms of timing, when I was pulled back here was really a blessing. But I can't deny the fact that I feel a huge void in my life out here. I believe what I miss most is the excitement and adventure and just fantastic thrill - with all the tribulations that went with it - which living abroad in SE Asia provides. I just had more fun there. I felt more alive there. And what's also really difficult is that all of the experiences I had in Thailand aren't really welcome out here. Beyond the natural bias that women have of "men who go to Thailand", I'm just shocked that nobody really wants to know what life in another land is like. Maybe I'm a bad story teller. But maybe Americans are just living in their bubble. My countrymen have little frame of reference outside of their work and TV shows. It's heartbreaking, really. So much of the world, so much to see and hear about, and nobody wants to hear about it. I read a lot of columns on Stick that talk about how Thais don't really know much about the outside world. But in a way, the Americans don't either. So I'm left with this huge piece of living, and no place to process it. It's disheartening.
I have to agree. I have been in Thailand for a few years and basically no one back home even cares to listen to my stories. They could care less about learning how other people live. When the Snowden revelations were made I thought that would be the moment when Americans would finally wake up. The reaction was more like an obese person who briefly chokes on their tongue, grunts, rolls over, and slips back to REM sleep.
Expat Americans hate the US. And in general I have found expat English to hate England as well. We escaped the grey machine but are unable to feel happy for ourselves. Similar to survivors' guilt, we feel bitter as fuck that the machine continues to chew up friends and family back in the West.
The place runs well. The trains are on time, as they say, but psychologically, I feel the West is a very hostile and weird place these days. Especially when it comes to men / women relationships. I am shocked at the deterioration in relationships that I have seen, in just the past ten years. It's just so aggressively mercenary. The romance has been drained from the punch. There's very little charm in the process. I found dating pretty pointless, but still fun and sweet enough in Thailand. Even it if leads nowhere beyond walking around a mall and having some sex, it was lighter and more pleasant. In America, dating is this grim operation to perform: shit tests, hoops, Social Market Value, and the flat-out rude bossiness that has become the modern American woman. Joyless. Probably that's what this entire post comes down to... that one word: Joyless. America is not a life. It's a job. The job is work. And work sucks.
I have started noticing that good male friends I had have started disappearing. They just drift off and check out, delete their facebook, stop responding to emails. When I was in college there were guys that killed themselves with drugs or risky behavior, now even the guys that survived into their late 20s and 30s are dropping out socially.
Thais value fun. They like life light. Sanuk isn't just something in tour books. They have an art to daily living that has a pleasant ambience based on a healthy injection of “I don't give a damn”. All of us who have lived there have been on the maddening side of it. But from where I'm writing now, I see it now as a great way to resist the corporate take-over of every part of life. Why the fxxk should we all have to work so hard? Who's getting rich off our sweat? Just this morning I read that a new crisis on American college campuses is that many American university students are killing themselves or crowding counselor's crisis centers. Shouldn't higher learning be a better experience? They are probably feeling total dread at what the American system has laid out for them: joyless toil. It's like we're all fighting as hard as we can to jam our way into jobs that shred us. Why? Life shouldn't be so damn serious. Thais know that. I miss that. I miss them. I miss their land.
Joyless toil. Even betas have a breaking point when the juice ain't worth the squeeze. When there are nothing but obese shit-testing sluts men will just stop trying. Hence why American men are cutting back on going to university.
With luck I'll be back and honestly, probably bitching about lots of the things I just heralded in the previous paragraph. lol. Should fate decide otherwise, and slugging it out in the US is my path, I have my memories. They will remain a precious jewel for life. Either way, I am richer, wiser, and more the man I dreamed of being for having spent my time in LOS.
Enjoy it out there, gentlemen. Play smart and it's a brilliant part of the world to live life. Play dumb and it's still one hell of an adventure. My time there was a blend of both and I wouldn't trade it for anything.
It's a curious thing when men dream of living in a third world country. All the wealth and power in the world and America is still a shithole, little better than a grey prison.
Swallowing the red pill in The Matrix was to literally wake up from the prison that machines had built for men. Get flushed down the drain like a turd and baptized into the awful shitty reality of post-apocalyptic life. Swallowing the metaphorical red pill is to wake up from the "grey machine" of modern Western culture: a joyless existence of toil where human relationships are torn apart leaving depressed, hallow atomic brainwashed individuals.
Leaving the United States opened my eyes in ways I never anticipated, leading me onto a search for answers that led me to this forum, as well as other free-thinking havens where thought crimes can be explored free from consequence.
Nick Land popularized the term Exit over voice. In a system corrupt to the core, where you are hated and maligned, where the deck is stacked against you, where your words are twisted and weaponized against you, your only option is to find the nearest exit. Some guys exit where they stand. They don't physically leave the machine they just stop trying. Don't get an education, don't commit to women--or any institution. Personally, I am glad I made it to Thailand. It has its faults, but I do feel free here.
Lessons learned -- Some guys dream their whole lives of living in a foreign country. If you can: DO IT. The West has metastasized ideological mental illness. Swallow the pill. Accept reality. Exit over voice.
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[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]RPJapan 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Kose2kose 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Easih 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]alritealritealrite -1 points0 points1 point (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]YuriJackoffski 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]Endorsed ContributorFLFTW16[S] 6 points7 points8 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]asm129 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]YuriJackoffski 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]lono12 -1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]TRPApprentice -2 points-1 points0 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Endorsed ContributorFLFTW16[S] 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]TRPApprentice 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Spiral-knight 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[+]randomuserwot -8 points-7 points-6 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] -9 points-8 points-7 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Endorsed ContributorFLFTW16[S] 8 points9 points10 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] -4 points-3 points-2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]1iluminatiNYC -3 points-2 points-1 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[+]king-schultz -6 points-5 points-4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]TRPApprentice 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link