Hey ladies, remember college application season? You were probably told to apply to colleges that fit each of these categories: reach, target, and safety. (Probably not a bad idea as long as you pick a degree wisely and don't get into unmanageable debt. Women with college degrees are much less likely to get divorced, btw.)

These categories look different for everyone. Maybe your target school was a really smart accomplished kid's safety option, and maybe your reach school was their target. But overall, colleges know which category they usually belong to, and they market themselves accordingly.

Schools like Stanford, MIT, and the Ivy Leagues are firmly in the "reach" zone. Not even those in the top 1% of academic achievers can confidently call them targets; plenty still get rejected. So in these universities' outreach efforts, they don't brag much about what they have to offer. They know they'll get plenty of interested applications anyway because it's all well known and easily searchable. Rather, they talk about what they want from you, the applicant. Reps at info sessions emphasize how hard it is to get in and talk about what they do and don't want to see on applications, knowing that quality applicants will eagerly follow. Selectivity builds their appeal.

Schools that are considered "safety" for most people, like a typical state university, take a different approach. They showcase vague benefits that virtually any college can claim to have, like "a variety of clubs," "professors that care about your learning," and "degrees that will prepare you for a career." It's clearly not much, so their offers are desperate - if you score above this-and-this on the SAT, you're guaranteed in with a huge scholarship. But students with such scores tend to go somewhere better for them, so safety schools usually have to admit low-quality applicants who'd be lucky to get in anywhere else.

Schools that can be applicants' "targets," however, have to be more strategic. When advertising themselves, they play up their strengths - what do they offer that genuinely makes them distinct from others of their caliber? Rather than making desperate offers or picky demands, they reach out to prospective students who'd be a good fit and keep their standards flexible.

Too many women market themselves as reaches when their position in the dating sphere is more like a safety option. We see this all the time in r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen. The question "what do you have to offer?" inevitably comes up when an unappealing profile lists cream-of-the-crop traits as must-haves. Imagine if Northern Arizona University called for applicants to fulfill the expectations of a Harvard applicant yet still had none of the status of a Harvard education. Those who belong at Harvard would keep applying to Harvard, and those who really do belong at NAU would be discouraged from applying. NAU would flounder and be left to wonder, Where are all the good applicants?

Dating profiles make clear who offers little, with generic interests like dining out and generic bonuses such as cleavage. But unlike a safety school, a safety woman generally won't have low standards to match. Even if a suitor does fulfill some preferred trait of hers like height over 6', her acceptance isn't a solid guarantee, and a man at the bottom can forget it because she'll often be too repulsed to consider him.

If you want to spend your life with a quality man, the best approach is to make yourself a reasonably appealing target and present yourself as such. The very gorgeous "reach" women that you envy, the "Stacy" types, can afford to be super picky and still have dating success. You probably can't become a Stacy any more than the University of Pittsburgh can someday become the next Stanford - but unlike Stanford, Pitt is known for its excellent pharmacy and public health programs and easily attracts skilled applicants for that.

Moving from safety to target is surprisingly easy in practice. Being courteous and sweet goes a long way in an age when sarcasm, attitude, and entitlement run rampant. Smile and show appreciation. Showcase the skills and interests that make you distinct, and if you can't think of any, work on developing them. More men will find you approachable, and the responses you get will be more fruitful. Otherwise, all you'll appear to offer are your looks - meaning you're competing with all the other women coasting by on looks, a competition that's much harder to win. But yes, looks still matter, so maintain a pleasant feminine image (I wear a dress/skirt and a hairbow/flower/headband every day, which my boyfriend adores!) and get in decent shape. Many women on WAATGM wouldn't even be considered unattractive if they just presented themselves differently. And regardless of whether you find a man in time, these qualities will surely improve your life anyway!

If you applied to colleges, do you remember how it felt applying to your reach school versus your target school? You figured that sure, if you somehow got into your reach, that would be great, but you were really emotionally invested in your top target. You looked at all the schools you had a chance at getting into, saw the one that fit you the best, and put great effort into your application knowing it could change your life. That's easily how a man can see you if you become a worthy woman who can enrich his days. I wish you the best :)