Single mom waits a month before revealing to her date that she has a son. Gets ghosted.

FlyingSexistPig · 2019-03-18T12:57:02+00:00

The beginning of the trickle truth.

She didn't tell you about her kid. She also didn't tell you about her abusive father, psycho ex, heroin habit, "brief" stint as a prostitute...

daniellederek · 2019-03-18T13:12:05+00:00

So he orbited for a month and she went for broke by bringing the kid as a shit test to determine his level of beta. Good on him for walking out. Not like he'd get a blowie in the car as thanks for lunch....

smileyfreak87 · 2019-03-18T13:17:28+00:00

Surprised people in that sub are on his side. Usually the white knights come out in force on those posts.

XavierMalory · 2019-03-18T13:14:38+00:00

Goes to show how little she cares to protect her child. Male or female, you never introduce your child/children to someone you're interested in dating on the first frickin' date!

paleotow · 2019-03-18T14:22:16+00:00

point of order - this isn't ghosting, he straight up told her to her face he's out. Ghosting would have been to act like everything was great, give the kid a little pat on the head, and then make some excuse about how you have to go return some video tapes or something.

Dracula101 · 2019-03-18T13:36:18+00:00

RUN NIGGA RUN!

Lis456 · 2019-03-18T14:49:21+00:00

There’s no excuse to have a kid out of wedlock/without a partner nowadays. So rightfully so single moms are feeling the burn... use a condom, get plan b, have an abortion. Bitch skipped through all 3. Children need BOTH parents(mom and dad) to be well adjusted adults.

sleepyweaselisawake · 2019-03-18T13:24:48+00:00

Her life is hectic is her excuse for not mentioning a kid for a month. That's just fucked up.

throwaway921030119 · 2019-03-18T13:40:28+00:00

While some might think it's fake, I believe this bro 100%.

An ex's friend of mine, single mother, saw her profile on Bumble and Tinder several months ago, didn't mention she had a kid, no pictures of the kid either.

joesmoethe3rd · 2019-03-18T16:14:41+00:00

This guy is now the "jerk" girls talk about when they describe their previous dating experience. She probably went home thinking "wow that guy acted like an asshole, especially in front of a child" and will never take her own responsibility

nashyneddly · 2019-03-18T13:03:56+00:00

I'm scared to read the comments.

where_muh_good_mens · 2019-03-18T18:06:08+00:00

Women cannot fathom that them being single mothers is a problem. This is in large part because they want to be moms, and everyone eggs them on and encourages them to become moms even if they have to get knocked up to do it. Some women think that they can keep Chad Thundercock around if they get "oopsie" knocked up. Some women think that being mothers increases their value.

And they just cannot understand that guys just do not want to commit to single moms, and that the only guys who will commit to them are low value unattractive men.

EDIT: Women just cannot fathom that a man doesn't want to take care of her and her kids. Why, they're KIDS!! They're NEW LIFE!! They're AWESOME!! Families are great!

Women just cannot understand that men do not want to take care of the children of other men. Women just cannot fathom that men do not want other men's children. It scares the absolute hell out of most men that their time, labor, money, attention and resources will be invested into the genetic lineage of someone else and not their own.

Men will gladly invest in and work themselves into an early grave... FOR THEIR OWN KIDS. But they won't do it for someone else's kids. And women just can't understand that at all. END EDIT

The flip side of this is men not understanding that being "nice" all the time kills their attractiveness to women. Their "niceness" reduces their attractiveness across the board, for all women, in all situations. Some men genuinely want to "be nice". Women egg them on and encourage them to be nice, telling them that women just absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE "nice guys" and really want to fuck "nice guys". And they find out, sometimes the hard way, that not only are girls not attracted to "nice", most of them actively disdain and disrespect "nice". "Nice" is an active turnoff for women. And men just cannot understand it because it's so counterintuitive to many of them.

The flip side of "Melissa" bringing her toddler son to a first date is a "nice man" showing up on the date with a dozen roses, taking a first date to a five star restaurant, dropping $200 on dinner and booze, not making any sexual moves, and then having 2 dozen roses delivered to her place of work the next day. It makes girls just go "ewwww get this creep away from me". Just like "Melissa" showing up at a first date with her kid she had never before revealed made "Jack" go "umm, no. Just... NO."

And Melissa's going "what's the problem? He's my son. He's great! He's no trouble. It's just that I'm a mom. Everyone tells me that me being a single mom makes me a hero and a virtuous hard worker. There's no problem here!"

Just like the "nice guy" says "What's the problem? I'm being nice. Everyone tells me that being nice is sexually attractive and that girls love love love dating and fucking nice guys! What... What did i do wrong???"

ArmaniDiamonds · 2019-03-18T14:07:42+00:00

Atleast he didn't beta the fuck up and paid for their damn meals. Nicely done. Got the fuck up and washed his hands clean

Slow_Motion97 · 2019-03-18T13:24:50+00:00

You did the right thing man, she tried to hide it from you, bc she knew what was coming to her. Heads up, look out for a new woman in your life without baggage!

Westernhagen · 2019-03-18T14:55:46+00:00

in some of her photos she had a 'weird line' down her abdomen that I figured was inappropriate ask about as I only knew her for a month.

Every young man needs to know that this means she is pregnant.

https://americanpregnancy.org/pregnancy-concerns/pregnancy-line-linea-nigra/

SirKolbath · 2019-03-18T16:05:32+00:00

A woman who lies about something like that has established that she is unworthy of your trust in any arena. OP did the right thing.

Captainbuttman · 2019-03-18T14:44:51+00:00

Thank god nearly every response was NTA. Only a few people dared to even say ESH and they got shut down real quick.

kekeface12345 · 2019-03-18T15:22:44+00:00

The reddit sjw hive mind agreed and no feminazi comments in top. Lol One step away from banning welfare

Cursedpurpose · 2019-03-18T16:58:50+00:00

And already the kid is addicted to pixels.

[deleted] · 2019-03-18T17:10:47+00:00

The comments were mostly positive - "not the asshole" - and critical of the woman for not telling him right off the bat that she's a single mother.

This woman is the asshole for (1) not telling him she is a single mom; and (2) breaking the news that she is a single mom by bringing the thugspawn with her on their first date.

Women should know this - never never never bring the kid on a date. Ever.

There are lots of problems with single moms. But generally speaking, springing the fact that they are single moms on unsuspecting dates by bringing the kid with her to the first date isn't one of them.

And there is absolutely no problem with this guy immediately saying "nope, that's not gonna work for me" and getting up and walking away. Gents: When presented with something that's been misrepresented to you, and she's not what she represented herself to be, you get up and you leave. That's if she didn't tell you she's a single mom. That's if she gave you pics from 5 years ago as representative of her now and she shows up 50 pounds heavier and hair 6 inches shorter.

RealMcGonzo · 2019-03-18T16:35:28+00:00

While it's good to see all the NTAs, one of the highly rated comments said he should have went through with the date, LOL.

irvluc · 2019-03-18T18:05:06+00:00

Women like this have a mountain of emotional issues. Shes not a victim, many of them WANTED to get pregnant and have the alphas kid (in an effort to tie him down). Their entire life is a facade, make no mistake about it their #1 priority is trapping a provider. Their family/friends will enable her bad decisions and behaviors, she will have a support system that rivals a small company. The child is usually the only redeeming aspect of their bad personal decisions and they will use that child relentlessly for self serving adulation. They are looking to find a mate that can provide financially so be prepared to "adopt" the kid ($$$$).

Dont be deceived, even with a litter in tow and deep rooted baggage there will be an ENDLESS LINE of thirsty desperate guys tripping over themselves to worship her and suffer her bad decisions to the end of time. Dont be that chump.

lPFreeIy · 2019-03-18T17:18:19+00:00

Oh yeah, life is too hectic to quickly mention something that's a dealbreaker to a lot of guys. That wasn't deliberate at all

Spetsnaz_GRU · 2019-03-20T12:53:05+00:00

0h BuT i ReAlLy Lik3 y0u lmao really nigga

YouArentOwedAnything · 2019-03-18T14:39:41+00:00

Power move op, I like it

TheObelisk · 2019-03-18T16:06:42+00:00

The sorts of things men have to deal with in the dating world is sobering. And he's just gonna dust himself off and head out to find someone else who is less of an obvious train-wreck. Man, i may be callous, but it just seems like to even involve oneself in this sort of paradigm is a display of a lack of self-respect.

iVah1d · 2019-03-18T21:08:03+00:00

All those ESH comments! Either single mothers or whiteknights.

moorekom · 2019-03-18T14:52:05+00:00

This makes me happy.

happyandreal · 2019-03-18T21:23:52+00:00

I'm sorry. First I'm sorry for your disappointment. Age is irrelevant in revealing that the person is a single parent. I would not expect it in my 40's. She should have revealed before the date that she has a child. I most likely would have not walked out but that was your choice. I would have asked her why she did not reveal it to you. So now like all of us in life you learned a lesson. The lesson is to ask before even engaging in conversation with her. You appear to be childless (as you indicated that you are interested at some point in having a child (ren). If not dating a single mom regardless of whether or not you want children at some point in the future ask next time. Simply say, "have you ever been married and do you have children?" Thats what I do. I end it right there. I am childfree by choice so I do not want to date anyone with children of any age. I also do not plan on ever having children

sparetosser2018 · 2019-03-18T23:33:06+00:00

How much do you want to bet she expected that he would pay for dinner for her kid too, if he had stuck around for the date?

weebkilla · 2019-03-18T23:53:24+00:00

This is preaching to the choir, but I'm gonna say it anyways: This guy did the exact right thing. The woman acted like an asshole, and he simply walked away from it.

Life is too short to be afraid to do the right thing because it might hurt somebody's feelings. A lot of "nice guys" would have been too afraid to stand up and walk out. They would have stuck around like some chump, and then not called her again. Instead, this man called her out on the BS and left. This isn't like forgetting to mention you don't like thai food. A kid is a big deal. Well, we ALL know it's "her whole world" Kappa, so how do you just 'forget' to mention that to somebody you have been chatting up for a month? And what kind of moron just brings a kid along on a date where they did not ask permission?

It took me far too long in life to realize that my time is too short to be wasted on people playing games with me.

LotBuilder · 2019-03-19T02:44:21+00:00

If my ex wife brought my kids on a first date with some dude she met off Tinder I would take the kids away from her so fast that her head would spin.

p3ngwin · 2019-03-19T05:01:38+00:00

by the way, sorry for never mentioning him! Sometimes things get hectic in my life"

bull.shit she "forgot" to mention it, nobody "forgets" they have a child and to mention it, they practically fall over themselves to make conversations all about their kids.

same with dating profiles, so many women can't stop showing pics of them, and talking about how their child "is my world/is my priority", etc.

she deliberately omitted the info in all ways leading up to your first encounter, because she KNEW the results it would have, only delaying the inevitable.

It's not your responsibility to "accept" single mothers, it's their responsibility to find someone who will, and deception tactics like this are despicable.

This behaviour again surfaced recently in this same Sub, where a single mother thought she could invite her kids (plural) on the first date :

https://www.reddit.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/comments/b0lt4i/40f_im_looking_for_a_respectful_good_guy_that/eih3f17/

[deleted] · 2019-03-19T15:32:28+00:00

Happened to my friend.

7/10 tinder match, He's a 6ft 1in, handsome. Childless, office job, car. She told him that he probably forgot that she had kids on her tinder(she didn't).

Needless to say he ghosted her.

DeeplyDisturbed1 · 2019-03-20T11:54:37+00:00

From Asshole Enthusiast [flair] neuroctopus [username]

I was a young single mom and yes it’s hard to find a decent man, but lying is just silly.

Says a single mom who is an Asshole Enthusiast. Yes, I know flair is not all her, and yes I know it is an attempt at humor, and YES, l am on that sub too - but single mothers are almost precluded by the very laws of nature from saying it is hard to find a decent man (ie WAATGM).

Ladies, just don't. It is like those morbidly obese women who wear t-shirts claiming "This is what a real woman looks like" It just looks pathetic.

aherrns · 2019-03-18T16:00:51+00:00

Rzpkt to him.

[deleted] · 2019-03-18T16:38:53+00:00

I kinda feel bad for the broad but women really should be honest about having kids. There’s a difference between introducing a guy to your kid and Jaír letting the guy know you have a kid. Tl;dr I don’t blame the guy at all. I’m the same way. I’m not trying to play step-dad either

REMAINSkull · 2019-03-18T17:16:38+00:00

Raising her son on his IPAD what a shitty mother. “once he gets on his ipad he’ll be quiet “ she’s breeding a fucking technology addict already. the least she could do is raise the kid right, this woman here really doesn’t seem like a good mother.

_Anarchon_ · 2019-03-18T21:33:08+00:00

No, you're not the asshole. But, you are stupid for not knowing what that "weird line" down her abdomen meant. Also, she was mentally ill...but most chicks are.

beatmyowndrumbitch · 2019-03-19T01:19:57+00:00

Happened to me...but 2 months later he just sends me a pic of the kid-- a baby! Who lives with him! Yeeeah. Listed himself on okc as "wants kids," instead of "has kids, wants more". I'll pass, thanks. Not because of the kid, either. Because I can't trust you.

AshyBoneVR4 · 2019-03-19T02:40:54+00:00

Ok, so.... she talked to the dude for a month. Never mentions the fact that she has a kid, then just decides that she's going to go on her FIRST date with him, and bring her kid. Never once mentioning that she fuckin has one, let alone that she's going to bring him. I've dated women with kids. Never has any of them ever thought to bring their child on a date. What fuckin logic did she think of that made it ok to bring a fuckin 2 year old on a God damn date? Not even mentioning that this would be the first time she mentions the two year old? That's fuckin ballsy if not plain stupid. u/LiveDriver did the right thing by just up and leaving. I respect that.

cycloneous · 2019-03-19T18:54:18+00:00

Give this man the keys to the city and a beer! DO NOT tolerate this from women when they kindly have so much of a hectic life that they fail to mention they had Chad or Tyrone's baby at 18! Which translates to her sleeping around at around 16 years old.

She lied to him by omission.

Also, this was a HUGE shit test. It was a shit test, and believe me, she was testing to see what she can get away with.

If she can do this "oops" to him now, imagine when they're about to break up and she has another "oops" moment and says that she's pregnant.

Needlecrash · 2019-03-20T13:16:40+00:00

The OP is not the asshole. She didn't tell him that she had a kid from the jump and she just casually brings him to dinner? FUCK THAT. WHO THE FUCK DOES THAT??? OP was only 20 years old, he's way too young to be dealing with that shit.

otakuzod · 2019-03-22T04:42:23+00:00

That man has already learned the most powerful thing: The ability to walk away. If more men had the simple strength to walk away, there would certainly be less simps out there and a lot more self-respect.

misfit2872 · 2019-03-18T16:44:41+00:00

The father of the kid may have been a violent asshole whom she was trying to get away from.Then suddenly dear old dad may have popped up one day to cause real problems for the OP and the female he if decided to still date her.For whatever reason,it seems like the father of the kid wasn't involved with raising him.That's a red flag right there.Her not being upfront about having a young son really mucked up everything for her.OP says she's attractive, charismatic,hot...etc.If she is a "catch",some guys wouldn't be turned off by the single motherhood status if they really liked her(Sigh...).If she was honest,OP might have stayed around,but she'll never know now.Stupid move on her part,dudes dumped her before because of the kid...and she was trying to fool an unsuspecting chump for a long term relationship.Who knows what else she is hiding.....

NickTesla2018 · 2019-03-18T18:55:21+00:00

Who brings a kid to a first date? I would have vaulted the furniture and run out the door?!

TheDarknessIsSpread · 2019-03-18T19:00:34+00:00

NTA

If that bitch can't reveal that she has kids to you - which is a pretty important thing to know for relationship compatibility, then SHE is the asshole.

Also, who the hell introduces their kid that early in a relationship?

Also, who the hell introduces their kid IN THAT MANNER in the first place?

She's a fucking moron and a walking red flag. You are right to leave and better for doing so how you did.

x6x6x61982 · 2019-03-19T11:09:25+00:00

Kudos for this guy straight up left, well done!

Raider_Scavver · 2019-03-21T20:54:24+00:00

She deserves the month of wasted time. At the very least.

VikkBlack · 2019-03-18T16:45:34+00:00

Topkek

ilovekissinkangaroos · 2019-03-18T15:17:17+00:00

You should have set her on fire

smokecheck1976 · 2019-03-18T14:16:09+00:00

No, he isn't the asshole, but she might not be either. Yeah, she fucked up, once, at 18. We all have stories of things we fucked up at that age. Since then, apparently she is trying to do things the right way. I also can't knock her for not being the typical "My kid is my world" bullshit line, because we all know if it doesn't work with her, it won't work with kid added.

What did she fuck up? She should have only brought herself to the date to see if they were compatible in person, and then, if the date goes well, inform him that she has a kid. Then he could have made the choice on a second date.

Title	Single mom waits a month before revealing to her date that she has a son. Gets ghosted.
Author	kevin32
Upvotes	511
Comments	140
Date	March 18, 2019 12:40 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/comments/b2i8q3/single_mom_waits_a_month_before_revealing_to_her/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/single-mom-waits-a-month-before-revealing-to-her.346447 https://theredarchive.com/post/346447