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FR / Texting / Confused about girl that was interested in a date

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March 2, 2020

Looking for feedback/critique on my texting here. It seemed to kill attraction after the in-person approach where I got her number. I did well on the approach in person (as you will be able to see from the initial texts), but I’m confused as to why things played out as they did.

We had a date scheduled for today, but, as you will see from the texts, I’m not sure it’s going to happen.

I approached her with her friend at a table at a restaurant and it went really well from what I thought.

Here is the text thread:

Her: hey it’s name (:

Me: Hey hey her name, it’s my name. It was great meeting you!

Her: it was nice meeting you too! I was impressed that you had the guts to come talk to me lol

Me: I usually spontaneously combust under circumstances like that, so thanks 😉

Her: I would’ve never guessed that aha you’re super charismatic

Me: I’m only charismatic on Tuesdays, so beware. However, I’m gonna be playing pool at Melrose Billiards tomorrow (Wednesday) or this coming Monday evening. Wanna join me?

Her: I’m down I love pool! I have class on mondays and wednesdays but this coming monday evening I should be free

Me: Awesome, this coming Monday it is, at 7pm, at Melrose Billiards! - Know that I’m not going to go easy on you...

Her: sounds good 👌🏻 I wouldn’t want you to go easy on me anyways cause I love a good competition

Me: You’re on! Loser buys drinks

Her: well about that...I would but I’m not exactly of age yet 😅 I’m 19

Me: Oh, that’s fine, water is still a drink 😂 I’m 24

(Then no response... so I left it at that for 3/4 days until one day before the date)

. . .

(Yesterday 24 hours before the date):

Me: Looking forward to beating you at pool tomorrow 😉

... Then no response ...

I’m not thinking I’m gonna show up to the place for the date as she hasn’t responded to my pre-date text.

I’m looking for critiques on where I could have gone wrong because honestly, I thought she was 100% down from what I perceived.

Also, how should I proceed with her in the future? - delete number and don’t text her again? or - text again in a week for a hail-mary?

Mainly looking for where I went wrong, or if I didn’t, some advice.

Thanks brothers.

Post Information
Title FR / Texting / Confused about girl that was interested in a date
Author SingularityOne198
Upvotes 3
Comments 10
Date 02 March 2020 02:42 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askRPC
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[–]eiknihmas4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy

Where did you meet her? Where did you approach her?

Maybe she didn’t like the age gap? Regardless of what’s going through her head, she’s ghosting you which is a sign of immaturity. Don’t text her again unless she initiates.

I would still go to play pool. When you go on dates, it’s good to do stuff that you would have done anyway. Who knows: maybe you’ll see an old buddy? Maybe you’ll meet someone else? Maybe you’ll meet some new people and make some new friends?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

IHOP - free pancake day last week because of those gains! Lol

I approached her at her table with her friend. Just went up and said I wanted to talk to her and I thought she was cute, etc. talked about her interests and I listened and answered her questions briefly, etc.

Okay, ghosting is lame. I see what you’re saying here.

Yeah. I was thinking about doing that anyways. I have some other plans at Church potentially, so I may just go do that. I have some other options.

Did you think anything I said in the texting was against the rule of “be attractive, don’t be unattractive”?

Trying to learn for the future.

[–]eiknihmas1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Ehh I wouldn’t think too much about the texting thing. If a girl is interested in you, then she’s interested in you and she’s interested in you for who you are. I don’t think the way a guy writes one text (as long as you’re not being weird) is gonna influence his chances with getting a date.

I’ve looked back at situations where things didn’t work out with a girl and I tried to see what I could have done differently. You can hold your character and values, and there are many different ways to approach things. The reality is that she didn’t like me that way and if god wanted to allow something with her then he would’ve.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah, that was the confusing part for me, it definitely seemed as if she was interested in me. Some cognitive dissonance here is what I’m experiencing I think. Thanks for the reframe.

Yeah, I agree. Trusting God’s Providence is helpful. I’m trying to see this as a gift from God instead of being self-critical and perfectionistic.

[–]El0vution4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

You did well. This is normal flakiness from women. Don’t follow up with a text , you’ve already done that. However you should play pool regardless of whether she responds because isn’t that what you were going to do anyway???

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks. I see.

And yeah, that makes sense. That was what I was going to do anyways, you’re right. Maybe I’ll meet someone else there playing pool!

[–]redirectedfs1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Your text game is on point.

[–]Willow-girl1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It sounds like the age gap may have been off-putting. Not much you can do about that! But not much invested here, so no worries. I'd show up just in case she does, but don't take it hard if she doesn't. Just keep doing what you're doing, approaching girls you find attractive. Eventually you will most likely hit on one with whom the feeling is mutual and everything lines up!

[–]UpTanks1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

The age gap and/or the prospect of an actual date frightened her, your texts were fine. Was she a Christian? I'm interested to know tbh. But honestly mate this is textbook flaake and I'd take it as a bullet missed.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I’m unsure if she was a Christian. I usually ask on the first date for vetting purposes so I don’t waste my time though. - hahah that gif. Thanks mate. Can’t do anything about flakes except just keep on growing into a better man day by day and taking this as a gift from God’s Providence.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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