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My life is decent and I'm lucky. I am also depressed and nothing excites me.

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AlphaMaleOnSteroids
March 2, 2020
143 upvotes
askTRP

Im 24. I have a good life. I can acknowledge that. Friends. Decent income. Food and a house (living with my mother and brother who I am sick of but whatever).

But I can't help but feel lonely as fuck and sick of everything in this world. Whenever a plate breaks, I absorb a huge wave of negative energy. All my past plates/ltrs kind of hate me for deciding to move on to better prospects. New plates/girls put so much pressure on me to care about them and give them validation ALL the fucking time.

I work a lot of hours and during my free time I lift, study, read my books and meditate. But still, I feel like I'm missing out on life. I miss the days I used to be a college student not giving any fucks and walking around all day with friends and fucking around. I miss sunsets and company. I miss road trips.

I have a strong purpose and high ambitions but at the same time I keep thinking.. Is this worth it? I hate living. I'm sick of working so hard.. Sometimes I catch myself being on Instagram for long periods of time watching what others do and feel like I'm wasting my life or something..

Im in a low.. How to cope.. please advice..

Edit: Some solid advice in this thread. Appreciate every comment. I hope that others who struggle with similar issues will find some good advice here and consider it themselves. Cheers.


Post Information
Title My life is decent and I'm lucky. I am also depressed and nothing excites me.
Author AlphaMaleOnSteroids
Upvotes 143
Comments 92
Date 02 March 2020 02:20 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/351382
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/fccpr3/my_life_is_decent_and_im_lucky_i_am_also/
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Comments

[–]carolinaflash69 points70 points  (4 children) | Copy

Something that helped me out was cutting social media out. You’re essentially scrolling thru people’s best moments giving off the impression your life sucks when in reality they could be hurting worse than you. Sounds like you have good disciplines, so try and stay patience with your process. Try to find happiness in the actual process and not all-in for the results.

Also- try early am runs and cold shower/ meditation after. Sounds corny, but it helps jumpstart your day.

[–]AlphaMaleOnSteroids[S] 10 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy

True. Social media is "cancer" and I keep catching myself looking for empty validation from strangers.

I need to take a break from social media. Maybe go monk mode for a bit. Havent gone for an am run for years but I might pick it back up if I manage to wake up even earlier before going to work. Cheers.

[–]carolinaflash5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah man you don’t need validation from anyone, from what you’ve described you’re doing a damn good job.

Best of wishes brother!

[–]Anarchistguy_26 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

Also, just because people look like they're having fun or living their best lives on social media doesn't mean that they actually are. OP's depression is possibly based on a lie.

[–]carolinaflash1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yes sir! I mentioned how they could be hurting worse because we honestly wouldn’t know. People seeking validation through social media is at an insane level now. People are almost forcing happy moments just for some likes/RT’s lol

[–]theUnBannableHulk134 points135 points  (8 children) | Copy

How can a Man be depressed when he has Purpose?

If he is not working to achieve his purpose that’s how.

OR

He hasn’t really found his purpose

[–]AlphaMaleOnSteroids[S] 35 points36 points  (5 children) | Copy

Good point. Maybe my purpose is not in sync with my core. I am not fully absorbed into it.

Not to use as an excuse, but I've struggled with depression in the past and when I hit lows, i get really low. Almost like a self-destruct mentality.

I need to embed my purpose into my life and especially my every day tasks.

I also miss dopamine and serotonin spikes. I only get them when lifting and this is the only thing I look forward to recently.

[–]Endorsed Contributorbalalasaurus19 points20 points  (4 children) | Copy

You might also need to speak to a professional about your depression instead of just self diagnosing. Your issues may be set off by events in your past that you’ve since forgotten or have suppressed.

Rather than falling into a cycle of peaks (when you have a new plate, things are ‘going your way’ etc.) and troughs (plates break, obstacles with work/life etc.), you need to find a way to be more mentally consistent and resilient. I say this as the former may have you in a ‘one step forward, one step back’ mode if you don’t address root causes.

[–]AlphaMaleOnSteroids[S] 5 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy

Thank you.

I've always considered therapy is for weak minded people. My big brother who I used to look up to was also depressed (due to a "heartbreak") and my father spent thousands to get treatment for him. He spent (still spends) the past 10 years of his life playing video games day-night making no income.

Meanwhile, I've struggled with depression due to bullying, friends' deaths, drug and alcohol abuse and other mental struggles. But those struggles made me stronger.

But you're right. Maybe I need to finally talk to a professional about this, even if it's for one time.

[–]Endorsed Contributorbalalasaurus8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

“Don’t be ashamed to need help. Like a soldier storming a wall, you have a mission to accomplish. And if you’ve been wounded and you need a comrade to pull you up? So what?” Marcus Aurelius (Meditations, Book 7, Section 7)

You cannot be weak minded if you’re taking active steps to better your mental health. Therapy is one such step. You take care of your body when it’s not well. Why should your mind be so different?

I can’t quite speak to your brothers situation, however I think I can say with confidence that your own is different. For one you would be approaching this with the awareness that TRP brings and not still stuck in the BP world view. That alone puts you in an advantageous position.

Meanwhile, I've struggled with depression due to bullying, friends' deaths, drug and alcohol abuse and other mental struggles. But those struggles made me stronger.

I don’t doubt the strength those events have cultivated in you, but those events are by nature traumatic. We very rarely understand the effect that trauma has, no matter how well we think we adjust to it. Having a professional give their objective opinion can bring even more clarity to an outlook that is already seemingly clear.

I’m not saying 100% that you should go for it. Just that there are real benefits that may help you going forward should you choose to pursue it.

[–]AlphaMaleOnSteroids[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I appreciate the Marcus Aurelius quote. I've been reading his Meditations book recently.

I don’t doubt the strength those events have cultivated in you, but those events are by nature traumatic. We very rarely understand the effect that trauma has, no matter how well we think we adjust to it. Having a professional give their objective opinion can bring even more clarity to an outlook that is already seemingly clear.

Wise words. Although I am aware that those events have caused some type of trauma on myself, It would only benefit me to know more about it from a professional.

Thank you, I am saving your comment for future reference.

[–]gootecks1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Therapy is definitely not for weak minded people. If you're struggling with depression and you're ruling out therapy, IMO you are doing yourself a disservice. Just my $0.02

[–]IATAsshole2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

🥇

[–]jackandjill220 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Correct.

[–]OracleofFl19 points20 points  (0 children) | Copy

Go see a doctor. Depression is only somewhat related to your current circumstances. Read up on the Bio Psycho Social model of depression. It is one part biology, one part psychology (the deep shit, your childhoor, etc.) one part current curcumstnace.

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (3 children) | Copy

I am going through the same thing. I miss my party, carefree days quite dearly. Look, you have responsibilities now. You thought the party would never end but now it has.

Your routine seems perfect, have you considered getting quality friends, perhaps an LTR?

[–]AlphaMaleOnSteroids[S] 4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

Yeah, spending some years abroad, partying, having lots of sex, my best lifting period, carefree etc. and then getting back to my country and working so many hours has hit me hard.

I was in an LTR since summer but I decided to break it up since I want to sleep with more women. She wasn't satisfying my needs. New plates are exciting but the excitement only lasts for about 3 dates tops.

I also hang with my mates on our studio and we record music. However, once we're done and get home, I feel like shit. (Doesn't happen all the time)

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Get used to being alone. I have. Gives me reflective time and time to self improve. I'm hoping to get to chad level to the point all is well in the world.

[–]ShutArkhamCityDown0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Doing some studio time always burns me out also. It’s pretty normal and gets better after I get some sleep.

[–]BruhMoment4588612 points13 points  (16 children) | Copy

Sounds to me like reality is sinking in. It's not all fun and games anymore. It's boring, tedious, and monotonous. Good news is that you said your life was already pretty good so just some minor tweaking could get you happy again.

So find out what's missing in your life and get that thing. Maybe you just need to try something new or have a new goal to work towards. If I get stuck in a rut I start a project to distract myself from negative thoughts.

I'm in college rn and I'm not having the same experience you had. I think theres two kinds of people. The ones that peak in hs/college and dont like adult life, and the ones that have lame hs/college years and say they liked their 30's the best.

[–]AlphaMaleOnSteroids[S] 2 points3 points  (15 children) | Copy

Yeah transitioning from college life, partying, sex, care-free etc. to working full-time is a really hard slap.

I'm lucky I got some good friends along me and I love them. But I spend a lot of time alone and struggle a lot with my thoughts.

Occasional dates help but once I am alone, this dark cloud enters my brain and blocks my rationale and creativity.

[–][deleted]  (8 children) | Copy

[deleted]

[–]kellykebab4 points5 points  (5 children) | Copy

How are you 30 and you've never worked?

[–]whiffofass1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Online businesses and hustling on the side

[–]kellykebab0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I understand if you don't want to dox yourself, but do you mind describing a bit more about what kind of online businesses? And side hustles?

I'm just trying to get ideas of how to potentially work from home for the next couple years while I also pursue an art career. Having flexible hours and not having to commute would be really ideal.

[–]whiffofass1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

That info is not much of use for anyone anymore as times change. I did have some coding background and created gambling/gaming sites that made a significant amount of money when I was 18. It was ridiculous. Then it died down at some point. Now I have created a few fitness clothing brands and marketed them using instagram influencers. Not very successful but I've been able to sustain myself.

[–]kellykebab0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Fair enough. If you can't recommend the specific products/services that you were able to sell, can you suggest either fundamental principles to running an online business that I should take in mind and/or educational resources (e.g. books, courses) that are legitimately informative?

Thanks so much for your time.

[–]BruhMoment458861 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Mommy and daddy

[–]AlphaMaleOnSteroids[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Yep. This is basically my life right now. 9:30 i get home from the gym and prep my meals, eat and I have like 1 hour left to study, read a book or browse reddit for a bit. Fridays & Saturdays are decent at least.

Honestly, one of the biggest motivators for me right now is to get out of this 9-5 schedule.

[–]nandemonaidattebayo1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Are you me?

[–]AlphaMaleOnSteroids[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Haha how did you even find this post after so many days

[–]nandemonaidattebayo1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Because we are the same person, I just had to remember it ya know?

[–]AlphaMaleOnSteroids[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Ah shit, it makes sense.

Just created a new post. If you can actually relate to that, I WILL FUCKING SHIT MY PANTS

Hope you're hanging tight tho. I'm still not over the golden years.. Working life sucks and the memories of partying and fucking non-stop hit me hard and often.

[–]JSJRB1492-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

Learn to meditate, and study philosophy and Christianity on your spare time. You're probably agnostic or don't give a shit about religion. Stop that. Start researching. You don't need to believe or practice. Just research the good things Christianity has given us, like meditation, reflective silence (monk mode), NoFap, fasting, cold showers and most importantly, giving back to people.

Start conversations with the old people at the bus stop. Chat it up a bit with the homeless in the street corner. Things like that.

[–]tilleuno9 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy

Bro, sometimes it's good to just let everything you are working on (girls included) go, find some time and space to hear what you are not hearing within.

Depression, sadness, etc... All mainly stem from us ignoring a deep rooted need for something we aren't fulfilling ourselves with. It sounds vague, and it is, because only you can hear the answer. Either take some time AWAY from your life, or start to do different things in your current routine, read different books, meditate.

Changing your energy from what you are doing now may help you connect with yourself in a way you aren't able to right now.

Lives that "look good on paper" don't really mean shit when it comes to whatever it is that is within that we are neglecting.

[–]AlphaMaleOnSteroids[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Great advice. I need to take some time and doze off completely. I just feel a constant pressure and can't disconnect for long periods of time. I really need to do that and find the core of my issue.

[–]_-resonance-_1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Comment saved.

[–]oooKenshiooo7 points8 points  (2 children) | Copy

Been there.

I got better after I noticed that plowing through rows and rows of plates did not make me happy anymore. Had a great car, money, nice place and I could have banged a different hottie everyday. It was extremely fun for a while, not gonna lie. But eventually it all felt like playing a video game on repeat over and over.

I refocused on spending more time doing what I love (music and martial arts) and switched jobs to better supplement that.

I also switched from plates to LTR, because I want to have children within the next 4 years.

While running a successful LTR is a challenge of its own, especially if you aren't blue, I find it to be a rewarding experience. However, I am in my 30s now, so that might not be the right choice for you, yet.

Maybe you should go on a long trip for about 2 months to change perspective? I can recommend motorbiking in Asia.

Another word of advice though... You might also have a mental illness.

Mental conditions usually manifest in one's mid twenties, so a lot of people happen to misinterpret the signs of the onset as a aid ewffect of their transitional phase in life.

[–]AlphaMaleOnSteroids[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Thank you. I feel like I have the urge to enter an LTR again, just to find some stability. Just need to find a girl that won't bust my ass all day, seeking validation and understand what stoicism is.

[–]oooKenshiooo2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

They do exist. But AWALT. However, some are easier to keep in check than others.

Always have enough fuck you money, always have an escape plan, always stay attractive!

Many RPers underestimate the power of a great working relationship. Despite cutting a lot of costs in half, you also save soooo much time because cooking, chores and whatnot can be done for two in pretty much the same time.

I would advise against LTRing someone if you are not ready for marriage yet. If you still feel like you not done fucking plates, which is fine, you should not enter an LTR. Any girl you do not aim to spend your life with is a plate, not LTR material. Don't waste your time, and don't waste hers.

.

[–]throwawayycheyeah5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

If you feel depressed please seek help. It sounds like you are on the right path. Just remember there is more to life then being in shape and having a decent income. Humans are social creatures. How often do you go out with friends? It sounds to me that more than missing the party days you just miss the feeling of being surrounded by your friends. We all go through that at some point but that doesnt mean you never have to spend time with them again.

[–]merunas5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Bro you need to move towards something. It can be as simple as learning the guitar.

Movement creates energy. Progress. Also keep your socials in check and stay cool.

I highly recommend you to volunteer. You'll work towards something greater than yourself which is exactly what will give you life.

[–]extasis_T18 points19 points  (10 children) | Copy

High dose of mushrooms. Will reset the way you look at life. Thank me later

[–][deleted]  (4 children) | Copy

[deleted]

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

Stop doing drugs.

Do psychedelics

😏

[–]extasis_T7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

I agree with you entirely. OP, if you’re capable of doing all of these things without psychedelics then by all means. But if you find yourself trying to get out of whatever hole you’re in taking mushrooms in a peaceful setting with a goal in mind will help. I kind of disagree with mushrooms being a shortcut, id say they’re more of a tool that can help in certain situations. A lot of the studies at John Hopkins are saying one dose is curing around 97% of people’s depression for up to 5 years and they think that’s because of the Neurogenesis (new connections, repairing of damage etc).

Either way OP I wish you luck. Definitely stay away from porn and drugs. Lift, learn how to really meditate and try doing that 20 minutes a day. It’s useless if you’re doing it wrong like i did for my first year. My pm is always open if you have questions and whatnot. Godspeed

[–]AlphaMaleOnSteroids[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Cheers mate. Adding you as a friend and might PM you sometime.

[–]AlphaMaleOnSteroids[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Hey Mr. Tokanachi. I appreciate your comment and I agree with some of your points.

You feel this way because you’re a low value male - to yourself, and to the world. You’re a child with FOMO who misses sunsets. And you can’t even see how much of a moron you’re being.

Not gonna argue. I'm still young and I'm working on being as mature as possible but having fun is still something I occasionally miss.

— stop: porn, drugs, social media, sugar (dopamine fast) — Do things that make you feel your masculine energy (I don’t mean violent) — concentrate and grow this feeling via meditation or training or adventure or whatever — create a goal (e.g. your own home) and pursue that goal in the same way that you would pursue water if your body was on fire.

I've cut all of those (except social media). I lift religiously 5-6 per week and my nutrition is solid. No porn, no drugs for me for the past year. Still struggling with the rest and meditation I have yet to master. Need to pursue my goal more passionately indeed.

Noted about the psychedelics. Will look into it.

[–]AlphaMaleOnSteroids[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I have a lot of drugs in my trophy cabinet. (not proud). I'm trying to stay away from any form of recreational drugs. Although i've never tried psychedelics. Gonna keep it in mind.

[–]Cryptomineand69-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy

doing psychedelics was extremely bad for my mental health.

[–]extasis_T3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah man some people are outliers, predisposition to mental health issues and psychedelics do not mix well. I am very sorry

[–]LegendarySuperSalsa-3 points-2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Winners don’t use drugs! Except for steroids...in which case, use lots of drugs!!

[–]Thefreeman9113 points4 points  (5 children) | Copy

I suffered with severe depression for eight years. It began when I was a mere eleven year old and lasted until around my 20th birthday.

I am 23 now and although the depression still lingers it has no power over me. I am very happy and healthy with plenty of luck in my life. And all it took for me was a change in mindset.

Imagine everyday negatively reinforcing yourself, every behavior you exhibit, every interaction you have being pessimistic. Eventually you will find yourself trapped in a void creating distance from the things you love about life.

All the music I listened to was about heartache, desires and a disdain for life (Radiohead, The Cure). The people I associated with were all downers who only took me down with them. The list goes on, I let depression become a part of me, an identity.

I started working with a young man age 25. He was diagnosed with cancer following his 8th birthday. Spent more than half of his life inside a hospital. His body did not produce much testosterone and due to his lack of growth hormone is 5'4", balding, weighs less than 100lbs and has a screech for a voice. And you know what? He gets up every morning to work, does his best to flirt with girls (he is very aware of his lack of looks) and still carries a heart of gold. The world is filled with people who actually LOST the genetic lottery.

And it made me realize how blessed I truly am. I slapped a smile on my face and started focusing on my hobbies, quit porn, cut back on media consumption, picked up a guitar and learned to dance. You sound like a successful/ above averave man to me and so many people crave that life.

You can and will overcome this my friend. Remember, plates are for spinning and having fun with, nothing more, plenty less. So start realizing your success instead of ignoring it. Change your mindset to overcome this. Every suggestion in this thread is a great idea.

You can overcome this feeling. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

Tl;Dr: Change your mindset, celebrate success and take note of how blessed you truly are.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

When you cut out porn from your life, did you eliminate masturbation altogether, or just porn? I try so hard to do No Fap but I fail every time. I just think to myself, "This isn't natural, my body wants to cum and I shouldn't be holding it back." Sometimes I feel like I'm fighting against an incoming tidal wave.

Do you think cutting out porn actually helped or was it just a placebo effect?

[–]Thefreeman9110 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

I did commit to nofap for 90 days. However, I found release through my gf. If you are going to masturbate you must avoid porn and instead rely on fantasy or perhaps reading/softcore photos. Porn is the real culprit here and must be treated as an occasional reward. I personally watch it every 90 days and let me tell you, I feel like a middle-schooler who first discovered it.

To sum it up, yes it did help. I had suffered from premature ejaculation AND erectile dysfunction at the age of 17. I am 23 now and no longer have those issues since I cut out the consistency of porn in my life.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Thanks for replying man. Recently I’ve been masturbating to my fantasies only, and it’s been a positive change. But I’m trying to decide if I should go full No Fap. Like I said every time I do it I fail. But maybe I’ll give it another whirl.

[–]Thefreeman9111 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

That's great to hear! If you suffer from either porn induced erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation than I highly recommend doing the full 90 days. It took me about a year to actually succeed and I basically went all out on keeping porn out of my life. I deleted the internet from my phone and installed a children's safety browser. I installed several add-ons to chrome on my PC that eliminate porn and also block incognito. It was this bad but I made it eventually doing 90 days like clockwork now.

Don't be hard on yourself if you fail just reset your timer, think about where you went wrong and try again. Or try increments, one week, two weeks, a month, etc. I firmly believe that if I was capable of defeating it than anyone can.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

That’s great to hear man, thank you. I don’t suffer from any of the issues you described, I just need to stop jerking off because I’m tired of releasing all my sexual energy for nothing.

[–]bilabrin2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Depression is a "zooming out" problem.

Zoom in.

Don't worry about the rest of your life, worry about the rest of the hour and go from there. The map is always changing.

Read "The Power of Now" by Echart Tolle. Realize that you can, at any moment, escape your ever-present stream of thoughts, wants, needs, and worries, and then you can truly appreciate the beauty of being present in the unique part of time and space you currently exist in.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I’m a little younger than you (20) but I can relate. I go to college as a full time student, work 20 hours a week, live with my parents, go to the gym, my money situation is good, etc.

But sometimes, I also feel the way you feel. What helps me is constantly striving to improve. Personally I am not happy if I’m not growing. Have you ever heard of “fixed mindset” vs “growth mindset?” Well, I was basically born with a growth mindset. I’ve always been that way without ever realizing it until I began following the red pill, and then I realized that I already had it. For me, growing and improving is how I find happiness.

Sounds to me like you’re in a rut. You’ve stopped improving. You’ve subscribed to society’s bullshit that once the “real world” kicks in (AKA post college) all the fun stops. Well in case you haven’t noticed, society is fucked- So don’t listen to them. Realize that there are different phases to life. And it’s perfectly okay to say “I’ve done this and enjoyed it, but now it’s time to move on to something else - Something better”

Human beings are like machines. If we just sit around, we get rusty and collect dust. Always be improving.

[–]wawakaka4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

you are depressed because your needs are not being met. seems you are taking care of everybody, you mom, brother, and all the needy PLATES but no one is taking care of you. that shit will rob you of your soul.

you are working too hard. all the pushing you are doing to get somewhere might seem like you are achieving but really you are just running away, scared for your life.

you reminisce about the simple times because you were having fun and now you are not. you don't seem to know who you really are and maybe you need to take some time alone and see what will make you happy.

your life is very formulaic but there is no real formula for living your life.

[–]SavorThePill1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yup, OP is not in the process of fulfillment. He's got the job, friends, women, and amenities of a decent life. But he feels something is missing...because it is.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Low testosterone. Dont do drugs

[–]new__vision2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Maslow's hierarchy of needs. Your lower needs are met, start working on the higher ones like self-actualization.

[–]trwawyrnd2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

read The Power of Now

[–]catsdontsmile1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Step 1. Uninstall instagram.

Research indicates its the social network with biggest impact in producing depression and dissatisfaction with your own life. What you see in Instagram is no one's life, its an idealization, cherry picked, made believe.

[–]huey7641 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

First thing you should do is delete instagram/snapchat

[–]charliemurphaay1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I've got the same thing going man. I started seeing a therapist and it helps.

[–]Wrath_of_Trump1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

People are going to get poetic about a purpose, but we (who aren't completely delusional) realize "purpose" is just a glorified form of entertainment. There is no objectivity to it or anything about it that makes it special except your fee fees. Your "purpose" could literally be to save children's lives, it could also be to shoot dope until you kill yourself, or paint pictures of flowers that look like pussies. There's no way to be objective about it, and maybe that's as good as it gets in this life. The only thing you can do is bide your time better and eliminate the things that are hurting you.

Find something you want to learn about in your free time that you can actually talk to people about.
Find something you want to be competitive in that you're not embarrassed to do.
You already work out which is a start, think about inviting others or helping other people work out, it's a good way to make acquaintances.
Don't delete your instagram, you don't need to be a loser. You need to uninstall it on your phone and only check it on the computer.
Lastly, get comfortable with being alone. We're not kids anymore, there's no classroom. If being by yourself scares you, you need to do it more often. When I got nostalgic for partying with my friends, I went out and partied on my own. Had a blast some nights. Some nights not so much. Then when you get tired of that, which will be a couple years, you'll be a little older and wiser and maybe better able to answer your own questions.

[–]RileysRevenge1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Get out of your Mom’s house. Living with people you don’t want to live with is draining beyond words and it’s subtle- you won’t know why you’re not happy but it’s because your living space isn’t what you want it to be.

Also, you should get a hobby that you can obsess over. Something like music, video games, cars, etc.

[–]Bigboyleggos-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

I love my mom, shes a kick ass woman and mother.... i moved out in 2005, I was 18 and hated my mother with a passion. 15 years later I can fully appriciate how awesome my mother is, killer mom for my siblings and I. Shes currently killin the grandmother role, my baby is the first grandbaby in the family and watching my mother love the everliving shit out of my child without a single limit totally explains why teenage me was desperate to gtfo at 18.

Op is s big boy now, hes standing next to mommy with one hand clutching her dress and the other pointing to the world. Though hes the one holding on , he blames her for holding him back.

Hate to break it to you OP, mother's never stop mothering. Its what they do.

Staying may look good on paper but if its hindering your growth as a person...Gtfo

Ive done everything "wrong" when it comes to being a" responsable, sensable male." Ive owned/flipped a slew of houses, had a slew of jobs and moved a lot. I have never struggled all that hard for shelter, food, beer or gas money and ....... still havnt finished college... I have no intention of doing so. I take 1 or 2 classes per year but have no intention of completing A degree.

;) go live, i promise its half as hard as your mother tells you :D

[–]when_its_too_late1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm your age. Felt the same way for a while.

Take one step every day to develop a bigger friend circle. Make clear measurable goals. Seems like you just feel lonely.

[–]Snowboard181 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sounds like persistent depressive disorder, I have it also it’s deep in my genes. I am one of the only males in my family that isn’t an alcoholic. I find that if I’m stagnet in life it becomes worse or I feel it more often. It have to force myself to keep working toward my goals, and that has been the biggest thing in treating it.

[–]bourbonhipster0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Food and a house (living with my mother and brother who I am sick of but whatever).

If you have a decent income, why the hell are you still in the nest?

[–]Endorsed Contributorbalalasaurus8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

He might be trying to minimize his costs for early retirement. Jumping ship as soon as you can is increasingly becoming the less smart decision. If you can afford to save as much as you can as early as you can while maximizing your income, you stand to gain a lot for your future.

[–]AlphaMaleOnSteroids[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Pretty much this. Renting an appartment in the country I live would literally cut my income in half.

I'm saving up and waiting for opportunities to arise. Potentially living my country and moving onto bigger things and enhancing my career (purpose i've mentioned in the op)

[–]AuberyBitoni0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Delete social meida. And judging from your name you take steroids, cut that shit out IF you are using them, they make you feel depressed.

[–]AlphaMaleOnSteroids[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Social media is seriously my weakness. Need to cut that shit out indeed.

Also, not on steroids. I've been working out for 6 years religiously, I just used it for my username (throwaway)

[–]trprookie0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Pick up a martial art. It will get you out of your head, and help you meet some like minded people along the way. You have healthy hobbies, but they're all hobbies done in solitude. In my case, doing Brazillian Jiu Jitsu has helped my mental health tremendously. You'll have something exciting to look forward to after work, versus the monotonous cycle of work, lift, eat, sleep repeat. Hope this helps!

[–]trematar0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

What you need is a challenge. Right now, what are you doing with your mind and body? If you aren't going up against the grain, you will feel like a waste. Which that's what it sounds like. You should start a company! Figure out what the world needs and create it. Figure out what you're passionate about and market it. If you keep living in moms house looking at instagram and banging thots, then of course your life is being wasted and you will feel like you're missing out! Go out there and give yourself purpose. Watch videos of Jeff Bezos starting amazon in 1997, or founders of companies from the 80's and 90's. See how those men were driven and find out what caused them to change the world. Worse case scenario, you fail. Failure is the worlds greatest teacher.Everybody learns from their "own" failures, or "somebody else's" failures. Its better to have tried and failed then not tried at all. The reason your red pilled in the first place is because you learned from failures of yourself or other men, who then shared experiences.Go against the grain bro, its the only way to live. If you succeed, you will have created something far greater than yourself and you will have a legacy to leave behind.

[–]cglehosit0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Move out

[–]paul_ernst0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

New plates/girls put so much pressure on me to care about them and give them validation ALL the fucking time.

No. You are putting that pressure on you.

I miss sunsets and company. I miss road trips.

It's not because you have money and lift that suddenly life becomes a walk around the rose garden. What you're saying here is key. Stop waiting for someone else to inject you with a new dose of fun. Take initiative. Small steps. Ask a friend to hang out but actually plan to DO something. Go for a run together, read a fucking book together. Actually do a one-day trip in the weekend somewhere. Play soccer on Wednesdays with the boys. Doing shit like that is what drives me today. Create the little moments 80% of people are just "scrolling by".

[–]mrmaskfawkes0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

My man life isn't about getting to xyz goal, if your feeling this way look at what's causing you problems and cross it out (this doesn't include your job). See someone if it's worse than you described, but mainly slowly take away things that you hate. It's like joe rogan, he wasn't automatically happy he had to work a long time to slowly strip away the things that were eating him. If you don't know then sit by yourself in a room for an hour, don't mediate or do anything but think about what's bothering you and your mind will give you an answer.

[–]RedPillAlphaBigCock0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

sounds like you need a VACATION , a break and then reunite with your purpose - take a break - travel solo for a few days - take half it to relax and half to re unite with your purpose

[–]VigilantSmartbomb0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Honestly, stop thinking you’re better than other people. Thinking of yourself as less than them in moments may bring you humbleness in realizing they have things to offer you if you dig deep enough. It doesn’t sound like you’re out there interacting with people. That’s what life is man, except when you think you’re too good for life. A fools game I played.

If the shoe doesn’t fit, but

[–]Scheme000 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Have you tried an antidepressant? I felt like you and went on super small dose and have felt great since. It’s not for everyone and I was opposed to trying for years but man does it make a world of difference to me.

[–]Thewritersdream0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Quit wasting precious minutes of the day doing absolutely nothing (meditating) and I promise you your life will improve

[–]mareacusarea0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Depression with no apparent reason really sounds like a situation SSRI's could help. The right one can really switch you on.

[–]JohnnyOmm0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Microdose mushrooms brother. It helped.my anxiety and depression. There are subreddit under here that will help you /psychadelic /dmt /lsd. It's really real just read the stories of users who microdose. And no it doesn't make you trip out, I take a tenth of a tab before work and I feel perfect

[–]drevil_-5 points-4 points  (2 children) | Copy

The comfortable life of the mediocre male

[–]AlphaMaleOnSteroids[S] 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

I'm not comfortable tbh. I've just finished my masters and got my first - average paying - job and I'm trying to save up for later.

I have bigger goals but I can't just jump from college student to making six figures, travelling the world, advertising kamboocha teas and fucking supermodels lol.

[–]SavorThePill-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Are the latter items things that you seek in life? You're chasing fantasies if that's the case. Many of us of have some lofty goals, but it is our sense of entitlement for the things we want that robs us of not only our happiness but our freedom.

Chasing the dream isn't the problem--the expectation of attaining a meticulous semblance of the dream is. Your life sounds better than a lot of people's out there. I'm not going to tell you to be happy with what you have, but a reminder that a little gratitude can go a long ways sometimes.



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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