I don’t get it...I’m pretty muscular and lean but girls aren’t looking at me/giving me IOI’s. What am I doing wrong?

mrpoopistan · 2020-03-02T05:01:02+00:00

The most important signal from a woman isn't eye contact. It's proximity.

If she's finding excuses to talk to you or to be near you, there's interest.

If they're talking with you, they disengage, and then find a way to come back, there's interest.

Even if she's just standing with the social circle you're talking with, there's at least a little interest. If you were a zero on the interest meter, she'd find a way to get herself and any friends of hers out of there.

alina_baraz · 2020-03-02T03:25:21+00:00

Women will never make it obvious they are staring at you...

They will just give you a subtle glance. If you can’t pick up on that, then it’s your fault.

dr_warlock · 2020-03-02T04:19:45+00:00

they always tell me they don’t like muscles/muscular dudes..

lol, you believed them

stenay · 2020-03-02T05:26:19+00:00

[deleted]

White_Phillip · 2020-03-02T06:46:05+00:00

Girls don't oggle men like we do to women. They will usually actively avoid eye contact. You need to pick up on them looking in your direction, and be able to tell the difference between a woman who is actually just looking in your direction by coincidence and a woman who is looking in your direction to check on what you're up to.

Our eyes are pretty amazing. We are able to stand on the other side of a lecture theatre to someone else and tell if they're looking at us or something next to us. If you scan a room and find women's eyes are darting away from you as you do it, it's probably because they're very aware of you and were checking you out but are avoiding getting caught. But not always, like I said before sometimes they're just checking out the room as well.

The biggest way to tell is if it keeps happening with the same girl. If it happens once or twice, chalk it up to coincidence. If it keeps happening, you might have a girl checking you out there.

Also, and this is less reliable and I haven't got much proof to show for this theory, if a woman is actually never looking at you, that could mean she's interested but shy. People look at each other. Think about it, if you're in a gym and you walk past people, you casually look in their direction from time and time and check out what people are doing. It's what humans do - we look at each other. If someone is COMPLETELY ignoring you, as in seemingly never even acknowledging your existence, it could mean they're in fact very aware of you. You need to be very careful with this thinking though, because this is basically how guys can end up pursuing a girl who is actually repusled by them. Completely ignoring you could also mean they're avoiding you because they think you're a creep, but either way it probably means you're on their mind.

db1000c · 2020-03-02T05:37:58+00:00

Muscles aren't a personality. A strong personality and secure ego will lead to improved body language and confidence in a room. Girls will see you desperately looking around the room trying to see if they are checking you out. Go and pick the girls, don't wait for them to pick you.

majani · 2020-03-02T08:28:23+00:00

Occam's Razor says that you're probably overrating yourself. If not then most likely you're suffering from having a swivel head. You have to give girls the space to think that it's OK to look at you. This is done by being focused on whatever you're doing

smgtn · 2020-03-02T08:01:10+00:00

I'm in a similar position, but I mostly daygame. Here's the thing - your face may not be as "decent looking" as you think. Face is everything to most women.

I'm 183 cm (6 feet), lifting 10 years, dress to impress, impeccable hygiene, deep masculine voice, very confident, but I have average at best face and bald (shaved) head. The last two are costing me some major points. I've been out with other daygamers and I've seen guys who are shorter, don't lift, dress like shit, do much better than me simply because they had nicer faces and hair.

Protocol_Apollo · 2020-03-02T03:35:43+00:00

Women don’t make it obvious when they stare at you.
Actions not words remember? Vast majority, if not all, women prefer muscles (unless you look like Phil Heath).

But dude do you even lift?

From your post history, you seem more interested in knowing what’s naturally possible or who’s on juice rather than lifting.

Kabuki431 · 2020-03-02T08:32:27+00:00

Female blindness is a thing. I lost count on how many times I have seen women who give "fuck me right here right now" look and guys are oblivious.

Women are subtle creatures, start reading for all the hints in this post.

Merica911 · 2020-03-02T13:49:00+00:00

Of course they notice you, even more, they may be noticing something more that you're not.

They may notice that you're going above and beyond trying to be notice, and for that they're making sure that you don't notices that they notices them staring at you. Because they know that's what you want and from sounds of it, you work hard to make that a mission for other to do so, that particular force energy people (especially girls) do the opposite. But with people's memory (especially girls) all they need is 1 second and their minds holds on to the rest. Why you think many women read non-fiction romance books? They don't need to read the book over and over again to get they picture. On the contrary, they burn through that book within 1 week and on to the next.

Women are great Artist. They can tap into the left side of the brain more. They ten to see an image once and able to drawn it pretty good. They're many that apply makeup good, hairstylist, Home decorators etc etc.

The point I'm trying to make is women are not men. When a woman rolls up in the gym with a nice ass, men won't stop staring. To the point they're thinking about what to make a post workout meal while staring at her ass. I feel like many needs Constant reassurance via left brain acceptance that's why many men watch porn daily. I the flip side, women can watch it once a month and that image sticks to them a lot longer nor do the need to keep looking at it.

But you do know looks is one out of many pillars when it comes to attraction. Another pillar is confidence. Are you good looking but need to seek people attention approval? That's a sign of lack of and that could be weighting you down.

You have to get use of not looking constantly if people are watching you but do try to notice time to time. An attractive woman rather get hit by a car over you noticing her staring at you over the other way around.

I know dude, it's a huge mind fuck.

amwfhunter · 2020-03-02T03:22:10+00:00

.....you dont talk to the girls?

mike_pith · 2020-03-02T04:07:01+00:00

Just go up to them and say hi!

Odds are they are just waiting for you to make the first move, then it’s smooth sailing from there!

Cientocincuenta · 2020-03-02T06:39:28+00:00

How much do you jack off and watch porn ? If it's too much, your brain will be appeased where it is, getting "sex" all the time with no effort. Stop that for a few weeks, and the build up will send unconscious sexual signals all around you. We are shit picking up this kinds of things, while girls are masters of non verbal communication.

xxx69harambe69xxx · 2020-03-02T04:13:00+00:00

u ugly

jzekyll6 · 2020-03-02T03:22:55+00:00

[removed]

2020-03-02T06:56:01+00:00

You’re face is probably unattractive?

2020-03-02T07:40:48+00:00

When they say they don't like muscular guys, they lie. But what they mean is that they don't like guys whose only ambition is going to the gym.

You have to make it obvious that you have a life project, ambition and improve yourself, would it be in career, life, culture, or physical condition.

White_Phillip · 2020-03-02T07:51:36+00:00

[deleted]

Huntbutt · 2020-03-02T10:28:34+00:00

Bro you might be ugly :(

jk but maybe you're overthinking it

Haytch1234 · 2020-03-02T04:43:53+00:00

Girls dont make anywhere near as obvious as guys.

Stop looking for hints to approach. This tells us you are seeking permission to approach a girl when you should approach regardless. You may be surprised.

theUnBannableHulk · 2020-03-02T06:03:38+00:00

Your face looks like shrek. Marine.

Jk 😂

Dunno OP bishes be dumb . Bring lean isn’t the and all being jacked gets way more attention

thicknecck · 2020-03-02T05:20:55+00:00

Eye contact/smile, proximity and touch in this order.. Go get ‘em now!

sehns · 2020-03-02T06:59:17+00:00

Girls won't stare, but if she even so much as makes eye contact briefly, thats an IOI to go talk.

mobiotool · 2020-03-02T08:42:20+00:00

It’s more about how you carry yourself with confidence then your physique, but if you have two together, even better.

Dimenzije90 · 2020-03-02T10:32:11+00:00

Some women find jacked dudes too intimidating. I didnt say they wouldnt want to date or fuck you. They just feel like you're way above them so they dont dare look at you. My advice to you. Just dtart aproching and you will see how they give you more IOI's.

TripleDragons · 2020-03-02T12:42:53+00:00

Your verbal game is week or creepy, rather than confident.

Bone_Coat · 2020-03-02T13:50:29+00:00

All of my guy friends tell me that I look jacked and muscular but whenever I talk to girls, they always tell me they don’t like muscles/muscular dudes...

bullshit. they like it, but feel intimidated by your SMV

PutlockerAndChill · 2020-03-02T14:49:18+00:00

Your post history reeks of pure autism, clearly you have validation issues with poor self esteem topped with a side dish of massive unearned ego.

the12yearold-Atheist · 2020-03-02T14:59:44+00:00

Why don't you, you know, actually approach them instead of second guessing.

BlaseJong · 2020-03-02T15:00:55+00:00

Yeah , sorry to say it dude, but this is a classic case of oblivious guy. Girls are subtle. They want to be approached. I bet you have missed several opportunities whilst standing at the bar looking around doing nothing!

Learn lessons, and implement action plans next time!

2020-03-02T16:27:39+00:00

You might have a shit vibe. You may be too serious looking; loosen up, smile, and have fun.

zercher22 · 2020-03-02T16:52:50+00:00

Being lean like Brad Pitt in Troy is not going to get you any obvious additional IOI's from women as your just going to look 'slim' when your in any clothing. You need to get jacked so your popping out of your clothes, ain't nobody gonna see your six pick through a t-shirt unless you walk around like some faggot in a string vest all day.

porkmissiles · 2020-03-02T17:01:55+00:00

Judging by your post history the problem is that you're gayer than Christmas.

RPthrowaway123 · 2020-03-02T18:04:24+00:00

Truthfully I've experienced this myself OP. I think there's an element of it that is confidence, how you carry yourself, ect. Women can fucking smell that shit when no matter what, it's like a super power...and if you don't have the confidence or the alpha attitude or whatever you want to call it, then it drags you down a bit regardless of what you look like.

drcube2000 · 2020-03-03T01:59:17+00:00

You ended 3 of your 5 sentences with "...". You don't know how to communicate effectively, you're non-committal, and you're insecure. Work more on talking to women. You have to have a personality too.

tyrantgrey · 2020-03-02T04:55:08+00:00

How tall are you? And what do you look like?

Not attractive is not unattractive. But it still won’t get you girls. And a lack of height is a deal breaker in America.

ElSenorNacho · 2020-03-02T06:16:07+00:00

What the fuck is this shit?

OfficerWade · 2020-03-02T06:36:51+00:00

If it’s too complicated just leave it alone. Don’t fight yourself, that just makes it worse. When a women you fancy is nearby make her feel the presence in the room that you felt. Does she seem happy that you noticed her? Do you feel anxious? These are all the signs that you are pushing the rock up the mountain like sysiphous , that Greek god who was condemned to push a boulder up a mountain again and again. In regular speaking terms it means you are alive and challenging yourself. Don’t stop doing what you’re doing.

bert_cj · 2020-03-02T06:40:50+00:00

https://youtu.be/b6SBwS21OI4

Watch at 11:00

Rhyat250 · 2020-03-02T07:07:12+00:00

buddy they notice. they are just Covert about it, while you are walking they probaly make quick glance and think " This guys is ripped"

frognads · 2020-03-02T09:08:13+00:00

What does your face look like?
What do you dress like?

ComplexProjection · 2020-03-02T10:23:11+00:00

Don't spend too much time wondering if a girl wants you. The true question is: do you want her? If yes, take the necessary steps.

TheGrandTrinket · 2020-03-02T11:31:17+00:00

Women have a higher peripheral vision. They don’t have to look directly at you to check you out

Redditorsheaven · 2020-03-02T12:00:24+00:00

Face > Confidence/Game > Muscle/Height

warthundersfw · 2020-03-02T13:27:35+00:00

I have legit ugly af friends that have girls go up and grind to their marble cutness... get in better shape

Wrath_of_Trump · 2020-03-02T14:11:58+00:00

they're not going to make it obvious unless they've had a few drinks and the truth projectile vomits out. one of the worst things you can do imo is stew in the question "is she checking me out?" it does you no good. and fyi, brad pitt in troy is not enough unless you have the face. half the people on instagram look like brad from troy, it doesn't work anymore. i was lean for a while and i'll admit i got a lot of attention, very overt ioi's (literally rubbing my dick at the bar stool), but it's not a panacea. you still have to be on point

AceMav21 · 2020-03-02T14:21:50+00:00

Wear Tommy Hilfiger

2020-03-02T15:41:46+00:00

Based on OPs history probably a case of social autism tbh

LegLicker085 · 2020-03-02T16:44:06+00:00

How tall are you?

leftajar · 2020-03-02T17:01:19+00:00

The other aspects of your physical impression are:

Grooming
Clothes
Posture/movement

Those are actually more important than fitness, because those directly communicate status, whereas fitness is an indirect status indicator. In other words, it's possible to be a fit beta.

White_Phillip · 2020-03-02T19:02:12+00:00

If you want to actually test how attractive you are, use Tinder. It's harsh but effective. Post your best pictures, at least one shirtless, and the median range of women is where you're at. You can generally do a couple steps better in person.

pinkypeabody · 2020-03-02T03:20:05+00:00

Lmao imagine being worried about this...

hereonymous · 2020-03-02T08:40:41+00:00

You're not doing any thing wrong. They really don't matter unless you would like to have children.

Title	I don’t get it...I’m pretty muscular and lean but girls aren’t looking at me/giving me IOI’s. What am I doing wrong?
Author	shamakvv
Upvotes	92
Comments	134
Date	March 2, 2020 3:17 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/fc5qyu/i_dont_get_itim_pretty_muscular_and_lean_but/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/i-dont-get-itim-pretty-muscular-and-lean-but-girls.351458 https://theredarchive.com/post/351458