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How does your woman add to your mission?

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Unfugwitable
March 4, 2020
11 upvotes
askMRP

As a single father, I don’t see what role a woman could possibly play in my life. I have 3 kids and I maintain a household all by myself. Cook, clean, homework, trips, and finances. It’s all me. Woman at this point are only for sex or because I enjoy their company. They are a liability if anything because I finance the dates and experiences I allow them to share with me.

I for the life of me cannot imagine what role a woman could play in my life to help me on my mission or to be a second mate.

Can you divorced or post LTR guys shed light on how you’ve vet women that you decided jumping into another LTR would be worth it? What role should a woman play if she’s not the mother of your children?


Post Information
Title How does your woman add to your mission?
Author Unfugwitable
Upvotes 11
Comments 63
Date 04 March 2020 06:10 AM UTC (7 months ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/352201
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/fd8rwi/how_does_your_woman_add_to_your_mission/
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Red Pill terms found in post:
long term relationship
Comments

[–]ImNotSlash14 points15 points  (5 children) | Copy

Note my wife is not my son's mother.

My woman's been by my side doing all kinds of shit; yard work, running errands for me, doing basically anything I ask her.

The most important value she brings is helping bridge my relationship with my son which as I've documented in MRP has struggled. She's taken us out to dinner. She's organized family dinners and game nights. Most importantly she's been an ear he can use. I've learned a lot about him he wouldn't tell me.

Our relationship (with son) has gotten better because of this. She's my ally and can talk to him in a way i can't. She's his ally and can talk to me in a way that he can't. Because of this we've improved and will continue to do so.

In short, my woman thrives on my strengths and fills the gaps of my weaknesses. That is her value.

[–]Cam_Winston214 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Take my upvote for the inspiring read.

Our relationship (with son) has gotten better because of this. She's my ally and can talk to him in a way i can't. She's his ally and can talk to me in a way that he can't. Because of this we've improved and will continue to do so.

That's awesome. Three improved lives is something to celebrate.

Not trying to proselytize but it makes me think of this:

Proverbs 31:10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.

[–]HornsOfApathyMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

my woman thrives on my strengths and fills the gaps of my weaknesses. That is her value.

This is how my woman adds value to my life as well, as it should be.

My strengths also thrive on her strengths.

[–]Unfugwitable[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Can you talk more about this? What are your strengths and weaknesses that she supplements? Maybe I’ve gone full autist, but I think a large part of RP is to be wholey independent or seem to not have any weaknesses.

[–]HornsOfApathyMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I wrote about it in my OYS #54.

Personally I think you're too big of a faggot to understand it based on your responses here, but maybe someone else will.

[–]Unfugwitable[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Probably. I’ll try my best not to send you dick pics after I finish reading.

[–]youcantdenythat10 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy

I found a nice enough woman who gives me no drama. After a few years I let her move in and now she pays half the bills and fucks me whenever I want so far the only down side is she snores.

[–]InChargeManRed Beret8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

My wife is my best friend, I love her company, she takes great care of the kids, is a great first mate, and she swallows my cum like it is the elixir of life.

[–]Chump_No_More8 points9 points  (11 children) | Copy

Rollo just posted on this and asks some simple questions...

Does she surprise you with acts of kindness and appreciation?

Does she inherently know that your success is her success?

Does she admire you? How does she show it?

Does she know what you need before you know it yourself?

Does she plan ahead to ensure you’re taken care of?

Does she care to know who, not just what you are?

Does she take time to learn about or participate in the things you are passionate about?

Does she look forward to having sex with you?

Does pleasing you please her?

Does she do any of these things with genuine desire or is she fearful of your displeasure?

I can unequivocally state that my woman is 10 for 10.

Finding her was pure dumb luck. Having the understanding of what's truly important to determine the viability of an LTR was hard won knowledge which boils down to one thing.

Human Beings are social animals and validation seeking is a hardwired survival trait. We all do it, nobody is immune. What's telling in a person is which form of validation feeds their soul.

Confidence, mastery, abundance mindset are all indicators of person who feeds on internal validation. Their 'cup is full'. They are functional adults who own their shit and know it.

'Like-whoring', validation seeking, virtue-signalling... all indicators of a person who feeds on external validation. They are a hot mess.

Internally validated people have strong boundaries. They know their value and are both demanding of value being returned and grateful for the gift from an equally functional adult. They view relationships as a perk for a well-executed life. They intrinsically understand that pursing one's mission is not a zero-sum game.

Quote from Thomas Seager, PhD...

There’s a difference between coming to each other as individuals with free will, who* add to each others’ lives — and depending on one another for care. Interdependence requires two people who have already taken responsibility for their own emotions (i.e, independence) and still realize that they can be even happier together.

Externally validated people are co-dependent, value leeching, emotional vampires who will suck you dry until you're an empty husk. They will use strong emotion to dissuade enforcement of boundaries and agency. Their mission must be the only mission.

At the end of the day, there is only one criteria that means shit... Does she make your life easier or harder?

How she derives her validation, and ultimately self esteem, is an overriding predictor in that metric.

[–]Unfugwitable[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thank you for this.

[–]domoli0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

How does one improve their recognition of the externally validated/emotional vampire type? Case can be made that everyone is externally validated to a degree, but I’ve definitely noticed certain girls to be consumed by it..

[–]Chump_No_More1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Case can be made that everyone is externally validated to a degree

Agreed. Reciprocated love is a virtuous circle of external validation. No human being is exempt from this emotional need, but which predominantly drives your narrative?

How does one improve their recognition of the externally validated/emotional vampire type?

Start by focusing on her mindset with regards to abundance or scarcity?

[–]domoli0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Fair, so abundance mindset usually indicates a controlled/reasonable level of external validation, scarcity mindset more likely to rely heavily on external validation. I think that’s pretty straightforward.

I think if you can display a stronger abundance mindset than the girl, or are just higher SMV than her, then you have the option of using her thirst for external validation (especially if she relies on it, but regardless) as fuel for her love for you. Push pull, dread, all that shit, seems to work better when you have higher abundance.

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

Finding her was pure dumb luck.

Good comment, but this is BS. Give yourself credit

[–]Chump_No_More0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

My intent was not to self-deprecate, I give myself full credit for recognizing a woman who would add value to my life and being a high value man who would attract what he projects.

Given the current state of femininity, The odds of being in proximity to women with a confident, abundant, feminine, emotionally self-sufficient Frame are appallingly low. This is the world we live in, now.

A high value man must be humbly aware that, despite free will & mindful intent, sometimes shit just happens and an abundance mindset requires (allows?) being open to the possibilities. I give myself credit for that too.

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

True, they have to have a base to work with... but a high quality man with great leadership can turn a surprising number of women into quality women... the 1000 ft rope is real

[–]Chump_No_More1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

the 1000 ft rope is real

For a relationship, where the man develops real value and a strong Frame while engaged in a 'troubled' relationship, the 1000 ft of rope is absolutely (out of necessity) real.

But a high value man would never commit to a woman where any length of rope was required. She's a plate, at best.

I've experienced both. The former, with an ex, with whom I ultimately cut the rope. The latter, with my current LTR, with whom a rope was never required because I would have never committed to a LTR which required rope.

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Sounds like you found a snowflake

[–]Chump_No_More0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

AWALT is on a spectrum, but she's distant from the center.

I chalk up a good chunk of it to families values. Father is old school, retired CG captain, natural alpha. Three daughters that hover around him for family gatherings... He growls and they scatter. Hilarious to watch.

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

AWALT is also on a spectrum for if they turn on you. I’m sure there are reasons you married your last wife. I’m sure she appeared like she was high quality, otherwise you wouldn’t have married her. LTR’s are auditions. You don’t really find out who a woman is until a couple years in... and trust me, they ALL have some AWALT negative characteristics... on a spectrum. But, if a woman is really trying to kill the puppy, she can swing to the ugly side of the spectrum.

So, not only is AWALT on a scale, but it’s also on a sliding scale. But, if you are leading properly, you can move that sliding scale in your favor and keep it there.

[–]rightsided5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

I start a company and I'm the accountant, legal guy, PR guy. I can do it all. Why do I need to hire someone else?

Time, dude. A good woman can help you by doing some of those menial tasks/ chores. She can be your biggest cheerleader, and hold your feet to the fire when you get complacent.

Getting your balls rubbed is just icing on the cake.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Stops you looking like a sad lonely incel at social functions

[–]lefty9297 points8 points  (2 children) | Copy

cannot imagine what role a woman would play in my life

You’re imagination fucking sucks then, you dumb faggot.

Think.

Stop being a stupid pussy.

You clearly feel you’re missing something. The vast majority of humans desire companionship. Get it on your terms.

You come off like a little birch who feels so above companionship that you’re just ohhh so confused on whether it even exists!

Edit: gonna leave that typo, because you ain’t an oak son

[–]rightsided1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

​

You’re imagination fucking sucks then, you dumb faggot.

LMAO.

[–]Unfugwitable[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

😂😂😂

[–]intelligentlemanager3 points4 points  (14 children) | Copy

I had 2 kids and got divorced. Dated tinder girls for some time and actually got a little bored/stressed with my plates and bad sex. I guess I could have given it more time to get used to that life style, but I ended up promoting a plate to FWB and then LTR, just to have some peace of mind. Of course then came some shit and comfort tests so wasn't much better. But after 6 months or so I got great control of the relationship and runs good dread. Now after 1.5 years she lives in my apartment but kept hers too as a fallback (on my command) while we test living together.

So to answer your question: She has turned out to be a great support for my kids even though she is not a mom. She genuinely cares for them and takes them to sports and reminds me or them of playdates and other stuff. Didn't vet her for this though, had no idea she or anyone else for that matter could embrace my kids as her own.

The sex is so much better when you can train her and know her.

She took control of laundry, which I hate.

How did I vet her initially? I actually chose her because she was kinda not my type. A little bit boring and a career type. Thought that would make an easy and less demanding LTR and give me more control if I wasn't crazy about her, and I think I was right. And it turned out great, she wasn't that boring after all and willing to learn from me.

However the backside is that the grass is always greener on the other side, I sometimes think of letting her go before she carves herself a too important role in my or my kids' life, which most likely is her strategy. She dreams of buying a house together, getting the expensive wedding and a kid. I dream of nothing like that and remind myself often of my mission.

Edit: typos

[–]hack3geRed Beret1 point2 points  (13 children) | Copy

So you picked a chick who wasn’t your type because you don’t have the frame to manage the chicks you actually want? And the value she adds is laundry and sex?

How in the fuck is this the top comment?

[–]ImNotSlash4 points5 points  (6 children) | Copy

My type was petite Latinas until I decided it wasn't. Live and learn.

[–]hack3geRed Beret1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

Issue isn’t changing what you like it’s this:

Thought that would make an easy and less demanding LTR and give me more control if I wasn't crazy about her

He’s a giant faggot.

[–]HornsOfApathyMod / Red Beret2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy

From TWOTSM, Chapter 40:

...be careful that you aren’t trying to find an easy relationship with a woman who will let you slide. If your purpose is to become ever more free of your self-burdens and give your true gift to the world, then a spiritually mature woman—who won’t let you slather in your comfy habits of security and distraction—may be an excellent ally for your journey.

[–]hack3geRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Fuck that book but that’s a good quote right there.

[–]Unfugwitable[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Thank you for this quote. I sometimes and wonder if I should go for “easier” or more low maintenance chics that would make it easier for me to back slide. But the ones I “want” I wouldn’t be able to slack off, even a little. The burden of the RP man.

[–]HornsOfApathyMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You mean the burden of knowing you're a faggot.

[–]intelligentlemanager0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Interesting quote, thanks

[–]intelligentlemanager0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

You might be right that I didn't have the frame to LTR the chicks I wanted the most. Or maybe I just didn't want any LTR, but took one anyway in the hopes of getting able to focus more on my mission and less on hook ups. Maybe that was the mistake.

Or maybe I took this girl as a stepping stone, to practice improving my frame in a LTR with less to lose.

I know, lots of maybes, but I wouldn't be here if I had all the answers

[–]hack3geRed Beret-1 points0 points  (4 children) | Copy

I don’t give a fuck what the reason - this just shouldn’t be the top comment. You have no clue what you are doing and haven’t made shit for progress yet people are upvoting this dumpster fire.

[–]intelligentlemanager1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Dear internet warrior. You obviously have strong opinions on this topic. Perhaps you could formulate some elaborated constructive criticism for me and others?

[–]hack3geRed Beret0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

You need me to tell you why you would want a woman in your life? Really faggot?

Why do all of you faggots want someone to tell you reasons to live your life a certain way or make decisions for you? Fucking Christ make damn decision for yourself.

You go from living in your wife’s frame to living in some “internet warriors” frame it’s like trading one level of faggotry for another.

The reason I keep women in my life has no fucking bearing on why you should or would.

You guys need to just shut the fuck up, lift and literally not worry about anything else until you can have a single original thought of your own.

[–]intelligentlemanager0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

It seems you tried to express your thoughts in a lengthy way. But your point gets lost in your rage. So much rage! Are you ok bro?

[–]hack3geRed Beret-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Oh looks like we answered what you need women for - my gold digging man.

Fucking hilarious - giant ego but the biggest faggot on the planet.

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando6 points7 points  (17 children) | Copy

If you were happy with your life as it is now - and I mean proper happy - you wouldn't be asking this question.

The answers that anyone gives here are irrelevant. What other people are doing / aren't doing makes no difference to your life.

So the real questions are - why are you unhappy and what are you going to do about it?

[–]Unfugwitable[S] 4 points5 points  (15 children) | Copy

“Why are you unhappy” — I mean, this sounds good and is easy to say, but I don’t think it applies to me. Sure, what everyone else does is irrelevant, but it doesn’t meant I can’t glean any insight on their thinking and how it applies to my own life.

I’m genuinely happy with my own life. I don’t have the stress from my ex and I live how I want. Financially I’m stable and I have a growing business. I spend plenty of time with my kids and I travel when I don’t have them.

I meet plenty of chicks. Some want to fuck me, some don’t. I only spend time with the chics that are “fuck yea” and not lukewarm about me. I’m good.

[–]part_wolf5 points6 points  (10 children) | Copy

He’s asking what you want because it seems like you don’t know. It’s not quite as simple as looking around at what other guys have and going - I want that.

So, what do you want? Do you want to share your life with someone or not?

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando9 points10 points  (7 children) | Copy

From his OYS, he spent 2 years depressed after his ex dumped him and his business nearly fell apart. Now he just plates - in his words - 'bitches' and is unsure of how close he should allow himself to get to them / them get to him.

But everything is fucking rosey in his life now - finances on point, bitch game tight, kids are great - all fucking perfect.

Only, underneath the fucker is pining for an LTR but doesn't want to admit it. Though if the internet says it's OK, then he might change his mind.

But he's only looking to glean some insight.

Yeah, right. Fuck you OP. You have zero fucking frame which is why you're here asking this basic ass fucking shit. Quit lying to yourself.

[–]Unfugwitable[S] -3 points-2 points  (6 children) | Copy

Thank you for taking the time to get to know me. You’re much appreciated. 😘

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando5 points6 points  (4 children) | Copy

If you took the same time in getting to know yourself, you wouldn't have to fish in other people's waters trying to figure out what kind of fish you like.

[–]Unfugwitable[S] -5 points-4 points  (3 children) | Copy

The whole manosohere is all about men talking about their experiences with fish and how to be a better man you dumbass. 😂😂

[–]BostonBrakeJob5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's all about being your own mental point of origin, you twat. The fish tales are just that.

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

That's the other sub. This is the sub where retards ask stupid questions and we get to treat them like the town idiot.

[–]Unfugwitable[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

OK fucker. So you in OYS this sunday where I try and dive a little deeper. Thanks for the man hugs.

[–]Chump_No_More2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

He's not wrong.

You can't have a solid Frame if you don't know who you are and what you want.

A healthy Frame is understanding the difference between what you want and what you merit.

[–]Unfugwitable[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Sometimes you don’t know what you want because you’re blinded by your own preconceptions of how things should be, which I know I was for a long time. And tbh, I don’t know what I want. Could I ever have imagined a life like this pre RP? Hell no.

Sifting through the noise from u/SBIII... yea it’s an important question and I think the answer comes down to RP basics... live the life you want to live on your own terms. Sharing your life with someone should only be on your own terms.

Yes, I would “like” to share my life with someone, but only if it makes sense and I need to define for myself what those terms are. Thanks u/part_wolf and the cock sucker u/SBIII.

[–]part_wolf0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I don’t know what I want.

There it is. The rest of your responses are posturing and ego protection.

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Nice DEER.

[–]Unfugwitable[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children) | Copy

DEER these nuts.

[–]Logical_Insurance0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I spend plenty of time with my kids

So you have a growing business, and you do all the cooking, cleaning, and laundry, and you look after your three kids.

You're also not stressed, you're genuinely happy, and you find time to travel.

On top of all this, you feel like you "spend plenty of time with your kids," and one can assume, do not feel the need to spend more time with them.

Something in this story is either a lie, or the OP is just here to humblebrag.

If you are working full time, doing all the housework, and traveling, I don't have a damn clue how you are spending any appreciable amount of time teaching your children, unless maybe you have a work from home job.

Regardless, the fairly obvious answer to the question you asked, which you should be able to come to on your own, is that a woman would take some of the things you are doing and help with them. Cleaning, laundry, and cooking would be a good start.

[–]Unfugwitable[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I work at home and have the kids every other week.

[–]hack3geRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

This should be the top comment not that other bullshit.

[–]Cl_ARK1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Next, you should go over to /r/minecraft and post "I have no use for the game, I have all sorts of awesome shit going on in my life that keeps me too busy, so why do you think should I play?"

[–]BostonBrakeJob1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Woman at this point are only for sex or because I enjoy their company.

Looks like you answered your own question

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Mission?

None.

Nothing more than a cum dumpster.

Welcome to male adulthood.

[–]wkndatbernardus0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I've been wrestling with this question myself lately and I think I've come to the conclusion that it's wishful thinking on my part to fake like they do. I guess I want a woman to add to my mission because, truthfully, I would enjoy her company but, I can't escape my (admittedly personal) observation that a minutely small number of them actually add much to my life outside of affection/companionship. Perhaps that is/can be enough for me? The harsh fact is that it hasn't been historically. Yet I continue the search in hopes that some hottie will breakthrough and meet my standards.

One of the big issues I have with most women I've met is their complete lack of character. I mean, I think the whole "ride or die chick" concept is a myth and Mother Teresa was an extraterrestrial. You can't slip up when you're with a high smv woman and, I just get exhausted thinking about the work I have to put into make that type of relationship prosper. But, maybe I'm just a lazy pussy who doesn't want to put the work in? Or, perhaps I see the questionable nature of the ROI when it comes to LTRs?

Shit, what a rambling, gay post.

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Sugar mama.



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