If this isn’t allowed I’ll delete it. I don’t have a specific question, but thought this guys post could spark a discussion.
33M 34F Why does she behave this way?
So she was served with the papers tonight so I can post about this, she reads reddit too. My wife of 6 years recently forced an open marriage on me, she said she "had to find herself" and she felt lost in our marriage. I was totally against the idea, I hate the idea of another man having sex with my wife with a passion. But she told me that she had to do this, and it was either an open marriage or no marriage, and she meant it. I still loved her, so I extremely reluctantly agreed.
She immediately began seeing a number of men, and was very happy. For a month or so our sex life improved as her NRE spilled over onto me. I had very little luck dating, as I knew I would. I can read, and know how to look things up on the internet and I knew what it is like for married men looking to date. the fact that I own my own business and put long hours into did not help at all, I had very little time to even browse dating sites, let alone actually date.
Then one night I walked into the bathroom and found my wife already in there. She had more or less sneaked in, she didn't want me to know she was in there or what she was doing. I found her giving herself an enema. I happened to notice there was another empty enema in the sink (not the garbage, which is significant). My first reaction was was concern and I told her that if she was blocked so bad she needed 2 enemas she really needed a doctor, and started getting ready to take her to the ER. She kept trying to put me off and telling me it was no big deal but I was obviously getting worried, as much by her apparent unconcern as by the medical implications.
She finally broke down and admitted that she was planning to have anal sex with one of her dates that night and was preparing herself. That's why the empty was in the sink, she didn't want me to see it in the garbage. Now for 9 years I have been asking her for anal sex going back to when we were first dating. She always told me she doesn't do that. Now here she was going out of her way to prepare herself to have anal with another man and hide it from me. I was heartbroken and furious. Why would she do that to me?
So we argued, and she stormed out for her date. I was so angry I looked at her messages on her ipad and facebook. I hadn't done this before because I didn't really want to see what she was saying to these men. But I found out she has had anal with several of them. And BDSM and threesomes, other things I have asked her to do and been refused. Admittedly threesomes can be a disaster in a marriage, but I had asked when we were first dating and it wasn't a serious thing yet and got shut down flat. None of these guys got shut down. She even had anal with one guy on the second date.
And their pictures. They are all gym guys with huge muscles, nothing like me. Every single one of them. She obviously has a type, and I am not it.
About two weeks later, after I had cooled down and she for once did not have a date, I talked to her about this. She admitted that those guys were her type, she was never really attracted to me physically. She liked my personality and that I could give her a comfortable life with all she could ask for financially and she thought she could be happy with that. She found out she couldn't, and she had to have men who turned her on physically and so she opened up the marriage.
I would have done anything for her, she was the love of my life and she has treated me like shit. she has fucked at least 20 guys in less than a year. She has done anything they asked her to do, willingly. She has given strangers sexual favors she has denied her husband for years.
My question is why? What makes some women behave this way? What can I do to make sure that something like this never happens to me again?
TLDR; Wife forced open marriage and did things she refused to do with her husband. Why?