I have been that type of guy when I was younger and then not and then again and now I'm in the middle.

My main Defence of the nice guys of the world is that they are not created out of nothing and there's no socially acceptable alternative.

I was raised by mostly women who drove the nice guy stuff into me. These were women. Not misogyny or the evil patriarchy. And now that I look back and make sense because my mom and aunts were all single black women who probably shouldn't have dated or slept with they're abusive men. And I could see you how a lot of women will try to turn their sons into the exact opposite of what they perceived to be their abusive father or any other male figure.

On top of that where does nice guy stop and where does it end? I hear a lot of people saying that men need balance of nice and bad but why?

When I was younger I finally reached a little bit of happiness when I finally decided to accept that it was okay being nice and kind as a man. As I got older I started to hate it because I had trouble finding romantic success. And not only that but seeing men who were supposed to be the bane of so many women's existence keep being successful.

Some men are nice just because that's them.

Some men enjoy being passive and enjoying life as it comes because like me that grew up in abusive arguments of homes.

Some men like being nice because all they knew when they were younger is violence.

Some girls do mistake bad boy traits as confidence and Manliness.

Put yourself in an 18 year old boys shoes. He has hobbies and Friends and all around a good kid. But he gets bully because of his perceived lack of sexual nature and not acting in Tangent with are male societal standards. All his life he was told by men and women including his parents and teachers and mentors and friends that just be a good kid and work hard and you should have no problems with Romance. Imagine the crushing feeling that kid must have he goes online for advice and sees both sides of the argument completely destroying him over something that others instilled in him. On top of still being dateless and or a virgin

You probably dated a few nasty or talk to girls who completely confirm his beliefs in that.

You probably saw way too many of his bullies succeeding even though they are walking masses of the very thing so many girls say they hate.

Now you're stuck realizing that you will probably have to unlearn every single thing you knew about what is good and bad or nice and kind.

Both men and women probably won't appear the same to you anymore and dating itself starts not to be worth it as he realized acting like something you're not.(KEY WORD BEING ACTING) it's going to get you better results then being yourself.

Also I wish people would stop acting like being nice as a dating strategy is such a horrible thing because you can replace nice when any other strategy and it be okay.

Some men want to be nice and be nice to the women in their lives and that doesn't mean he's a doormat or some crazy person

some people enjoy peace.

Now I'm so dark and jaded I long for my nice guy days back because at least back to the days of naivete I could believe in something or believe in the good in people but now it feels like everyone's just miss directing and putting on a facade.

Now I see any thing nice or sensitive in any man has a nice guy trait now and I hate that.

If you are all feminists in value equality and sensitivity for all genders and start putting into action.

Praise those nice or kind or sensitive boys instead of demonizing them or trying to turn them into something you're not.

For years I had so many adult figures pigeon-holed me in sports because I was supposedly built for it not knowing that it was destroying my self-esteem. But I just could not understand why such a big black boy didn't want to be a giant hulking jock. It's okay for guys to like soft music and colors and freely stuff and sensitive stuff. But whenever a man or woman sees this as a negative it is just a sexist thinking all women belong in the kitchen.

Ask for sexual strategies I'm not sure because sex and dating is so nuanced. I've heard nice guy success stories and that being themselves completely worked. I've also heard stories of men saying that your niceness or kindness got taken for granted or got misconstrued as weakness.

And I get it you can't force someone she like you but don't go in on nice guys thinking their logic is completely out of left field. Give me the context of how we were all raised it makes perfect sense to why so many guys have this in their heads. Nice guys may not have the best strategy but they're damn sure isn't a perfect solution.