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LTR of about a year says “I feel like you have no problem with throwing me away anytime and it scares me so much”

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SimplisticMix
March 8, 2020
68 upvotes
askTRP

This isn’t the first time she brings this up, I have been kind of upping the dread lately but today she full on started crying.

This generally happens after an “argument” because during any argument I stay very cool and monotone, say my stance and not argue further. So she says “she doesn’t understand how I don’t feel sad or anything when we argue”.

Honestly don’t know if this is a shit test or a comfort test, and she brings it up here and there, kind of need help on how to proceed.


Post Information
Title LTR of about a year says “I feel like you have no problem with throwing me away anytime and it scares me so much”
Author SimplisticMix
Upvotes 68
Comments 34
Date 08 March 2020 06:30 PM UTC (11 months ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/353636
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/ffgort/ltr_of_about_a_year_says_i_feel_like_you_have_no/
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Red Pill terms found in post:
dread gamelong term relationshipshit testcomfort test
Comments

[–]holddadoorhodor94 points95 points  (2 children) | Copy

Do not change anything. You’re doing excellent.

[–]badabing65416 points17 points  (1 child) | Copy

I say add a lil bit of comfort. I fucked a good ltr by not doing this

[–]_-resonance-_2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Comforting her about her cognitive dissonance could potentially come off to her (subconsciously) as Agree & Amplify. This may rattle her hamster even further, actually causing more histrionics.

She’s so used to being able to emotionally manipulate others that she’s confused as to why it’s not working. Why does that deserve comfort?

OP, I’m guessing you’ve not yet had your Main Event?

Stoicism wins here. I think it’s actually a less Rambo tactic and will lead more gradually to the Main Event.

[–]ApdoSenpai99 points100 points  (0 children) | Copy

You’re doing great, maybe a sprinkle a little bit of comfort if she’s really feeling like you’re going to leave her.

Keep it up champ

[–]MajIssuesCaptObvious20 points21 points  (3 children) | Copy

She's Anxious Preoccupied and is probably having an anxiety attack. She's emotionally invested and needs reassurance.

Learn about Attachment Theory. It's possible you're Dismissive Avoidant.

[–]MrAnderzon7 points8 points  (2 children) | Copy

Would one google attachment theory or search attachment theory here on trp?

[–]LethalShade0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Google and Youtube, I don't think this is very discussed on RP.

[–]MajIssuesCaptObvious0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Google. Fuck TRP when it comes to actual psychology. It's biased against women. Attachment theory applies to both genders.

[–]HumbleTrees14 points15 points  (2 children) | Copy

A man is rich in proportion to the number of things which he can let alone. Henry David Thoreau.

*And

Man can will nothing unless he has first understood that he must count on no one but himself; that he is alone, abandoned on earth in the midst of his infinite responsibilities, without help, with no other aim than the one he sets himself, with no other destiny than the one he forges for himself on this earth. - Jean-Paul Sartre

[–]Mescalean3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Dig that last quote. Damn

[–]HumbleTrees1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I've got in the region of s hundred like this.

[–]iamgroot33313 points14 points  (1 child) | Copy

the comments are generally spot on however i would caution you to not fall into the frame of viewing the relationship as this power struggle where you "win" arguments. no one wins.

​

keep holding frame as you do. don't give a fuck. the usual shit.

​

however it won't kill you to giver her a little jovial reassurance that you she's important to you etc. etc.

the thing you need to understand is that she's a girl. she has no control over her emotions, in those vulnerable moments the best thing you can do is be completely unphased while also offering her some comfort. almost saving her from herself i suppose.

​

cos ultimately she's your girlfriend, not your enemy.

​

it's great to up the dread and put them on that emotional roller coaster a bit. like making her cry and shit. they secretly love it. BUT you also want to have that skill of being able to smoothly kind of calm her down which will probably make both of you super horny lol. i speak from experience. your girl starts crying, then you hold her while talking all that smooth shit, then she slowly calms down, then you're making out and then your fucking. and afterwards she feels like she's been on a rideeeee.

​

that's that REAL player shit. cos any guy can be a pussy who supplicates. and frankly most guys who read TRP can be cold and just not give a fuck when she cries. but only a real player can CAPITALIZE on her being all emotional and smoothly translate it into sex.

[–]askmrcia4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

however it won't kill you to giver her a little jovial reassurance that you she's important to you etc. etc.

This op. You're doing your thing, but don't go overboard with the dread

[–]NabroleonBonaparte36 points37 points  (0 children) | Copy

She brought out the tears and you didn’t lose frame!

She’s salty af!

[–]julius_pepperwood120 points21 points  (0 children) | Copy

Don’t change anything, you’re doing everything right atm.

[–]rangat425 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

That is exactly how she should feel. Ignore it. You are doing the right thing.

[–]Endorsed Contributorbalalasaurus3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Are you actively listening to what she’s saying when you argue or are you focused on reaffirming what your position is?

Relationship game is different from plate-spinning game. You need to tone down the alpha somewhat to sustain a healthy and conducive relationship. Her telling you that is a sign that your dread levels might be too high or disproportionate to your arguments.

[–]SpecialSpnk6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

You have the power in the dynamic and she knows that and is scared. The one with the power is the one not afraid of leaving...

[–]Thefreeman9116 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

I have recently upped my dread towards my LTR to the same result. You are projecting your independence, you don't need anybody to make you happy.

[–]catsdontsmile9 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy

Am I reading this wrong or he upped the dread too much? Looks like making a Sim too scared that it goes suicidal or something. I don't know, I've played Sims like 20 minutes and got fed up.

[–]PutlockerAndChill13 points14 points  (1 child) | Copy

Nah she’s just salty because she can’t wrap him round her finger like all the other betas she’s had in the past.

[–]rangat422 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Nailed it

[–]1rugged792 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You gotta tell her that as long as she keeps being good to you, you'll keep comin' around. People got relationships fucked up nowadays. Like a man has to stay around because he said he would.

In reality, a woman is supposed to evoke those feelings in a man, or he will leave and vice versa. That should be the focus. So that way, you both don't take each other for granted.

Tell her that the more she demonstrates her value other than vagina, and adds that to your life, the less she has to worry about being replaced.

[–]Brushyourteethm81 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You're doing great - wait for it to pass and give her a belly rub.

[–]1El0vution1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It’s a comfort test. This is the only moment when your love, compliments and reassurances actually make her love you more.

[–]schijtaandezeaccount1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You winning

[–]jackandjill220 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Good.

[–]Corvus_Uraneus0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Give her the Robert Deniro speech from Heat.

"Don't let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner."

[–]128bitworm0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Stay the course. If she is feeling insecure it is up to her to figure out how to remedy her feelings and the situation.

[–]entrep40 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It's a comfort test. Why are you upping the dread? She's already lacking comfort from you. Are you trying to get rid of her?

[–]cfbovernfl0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

"I have a bunch of female friends (some of which my ltr knows, so there is some passive dread going) MAY be potential plates" (post from two months ago).

And you're in a year long LTR?

Reported for trolling. Good riddance and enjoy your ban.

[–]smhfamswag0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

great job, your girl should always feel a little insecure about you.

[–]slayerofthecougar-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

I think you should be more clear with her about where she stands. She's a plate to you, not a gf. Make sure she knows that she will never be more than that. We don't know the full extent of your relationship, so you could be acting in a cruel manner to her.

[–]CactusDick4Life4You0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

"LTR of about a year " means plate?



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