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Advice for women. Advice for men.

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February 18, 2013

Don't let anybody tell you what to do, girl. You should only do what you feel comfortable with. Do you feel ready for this? Don't take any crap from him, you shouldn't have to do anything you're not comfortable with.

Hey, man, you really want to get what you want? You're going to have to leave your comfort zone. I know it's anxiety inducing to talk to somebody you don't know, but you're going to have to man up.

Post Information
Title Advice for women. Advice for men.
Author redpillschool
Upvotes 20
Comments 41
Date 18 February 2013 09:48 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit TheRedPill
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/3537
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/18rxrz/advice_for_women_advice_for_men/
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Red Pill terms found in post:
the red pill

[–]PrisonerOfLife23 points24 points  (61 children) | Copy

Forcing men to take all of the risks with a small fraction of the rewards - the core tenet behind the female hivemind.

[–]GeorgeGordonByron2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

which is why some men chose to go their own way. Game serves the female imperative.

[–]PrisonerOfLife0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I agree. I'll get massive flak for this, but I believe game is a fundamentally gynocentric activity - there's nothing more close to pandering than giving a woman a high quality man (alpha) when she deserves no man at all.

[–]Modredpillschool[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Well at some point, some concessions have to be made, since guys do like pussy.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (57 children) | Copy

Is it, though?

This is how we're wired. Men chase women. Women react to the chase. That's why game works so well. Women have reactive desire, men have spontaneous desire. So men would have to be the ones taking the risk to step up and start the process.

[–]cubemstr14 points15 points  (1 child) | Copy

At the risk of sounding douchy, that's not true across the board. Some men don't like to chase, and instead have reactive desires. The thing is, those guys are fucked because the game is set up for guys who chase, and either type of women. For the last two decades the idea of women being able to be aggressive if they want has been made popular, but nobody gives a shit about the guys who like being passive. They either have to learn to be aggressive or be alone.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yes that is all true, but that is part of the red pill. You can't blame those facts on society. If you're a passive natural beta, you're going to have a rough time no matter what. Men chase women and demonstrate their use to attract them. The alpha man gets the women. That's key to taking the red pill.

[–]GeorgeGordonByron2 points3 points  (32 children) | Copy

except it isn't a chase. when a man approaches a woman, it's usually because she signaled him. when he asks her out, it's because she flirted with him and dropped hints. And when a man escalates physically, the woman almost always makes the first physical contact. social scientists have known that women initiate the majority of relationships. Not men. They just expect men to make the overt gestures because they want men to think that they are in control.

edit: and just to clarify where I stand. I take the ethical approach to relationships. the one that's interested should be the one that chases. If the woman is the one with the crush, she should ask the guy out.

[–]Modredpillschool[S] 3 points4 points  (31 children) | Copy

If the woman is the one with the crush, she should ask the guy out.

You'll find that women are typically risk adverse.

[–]GeorgeGordonByron2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I could write a book.

[–]throwawayredpill01-1 points0 points  (29 children) | Copy

You'll find that women are typically risk adverse.

Except when it comes to finding a mate/workhorse/slave

[–]Modredpillschool[S] 1 point2 points  (28 children) | Copy

They will not take risks when doing so. The nature of getting a mate/workhorse/slave is ensuring the potential suitors are demonstrating their risk-taking ability.

[–]throwawayredpill010 points1 point  (27 children) | Copy

Depends on the mate/workhorse/slave to be had actually :)

And yeah, you keep the plausible deniability up, but I've experienced incidents where the deniability wore quite thin indeed :)

The story about Laurene Powell fixing things so Steve Jobs would 'meet' her is a good example(from the recent bio book).

[–]Modredpillschool[S] 2 points3 points  (26 children) | Copy

The higher status the male, you're right, the more action she will take to attempt to heighten her visibility. But even in this one, Laurene was trying to get Steve to meet her, assuming he'd do the actual risk taking.

It's like women who are at a bar, noticing they aren't getting any drinks, unbuttons a shirt. She is still risk adverse, she is trying to get a man to approach her, not the other way around.

[–]throwawayredpill010 points1 point  (24 children) | Copy

The only thing Steve did was ask her out. She'd actually suggested him taking her out first (in a plausibly deniable way, by saying he'd won the chance at a date with her)

Who took the risks here? Who had more to gain? Steve was already a millionaire, she was just another pretty girl in college.

[–]Modredpillschool[S] 0 points1 point  (23 children) | Copy

See, what you're not seeing here is the basic principles that guide both men and women's actions. She did a lot more than most women will do, sure. But her actions were in the same vein as putting on more makeup or wearing a pushup bra. She was poising herself to be approached.

The social risk was on Steve. She positioned herself to attract the highest value mate, but still left the onus of the social risk on him.

Who took the risks here? Who had more to gain? Steve was already a millionaire, she was just another pretty girl in college.

Never underestimate the power and associated shame from rejection of a hot female body.

[–]WeaknessIntoVirtue1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

I'm a guy and I'm not wired to chase. My sympathetic system is over reactive and makes me get anxiety. Im a genetic failure on top of that I'm far from top 10% of men.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

With that kind of attitude you're never going to get the girls man. You look and act as good as you feel. You can change your life but you have to be willing to make the change, its an uncomfortable and difficult road but the payoff is immense.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Anxiety can be overcome. You can improve yourself. It just takes work.

[–]TRP VanguardVZPurp0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Indeed. Anything worth going after, when it comes to learning or self-transformation, is going to require serious dedication.

In the beginning it's so easy to get caught up in all the failures and lack of large improvements. Most people drop off before they've put in the work to see the first gains.

You just need to internalize that it's OK to screw up in the beginning, and push on. You will improve.

I recommend people regularly work on new skills or hobbies, especially ones you have no "natural" talent for. It teaches you a lot about learning anything.

[–]WeaknessIntoVirtue-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Im a genetic failure on top of that I'm far from top 10% of men.

You can't fix this . Only thing possible for me would to turn into a unpleasant man who chases women who deem him ugly. Meaning I would turn into what ya'll call a creep.

Pray your Gods everyday for being given winning cards at birth.

[–]TRP Vanguardtheubercuber1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Excellent breakdown! Yes there is a disparity between the sexes, but it exists for a reason. The red pill is about accepting and embracing this. People are people.

Guys here who don't like it... this is a truth. Learn to live with it.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (9 children) | Copy

How about being a self-actualized adult instead of talking about "how you're wired" ?

No one is stopping you from being a wilting violet, or a venus fly trap, if that's how "you're wired". You'll just have to deal with the flies you attract.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (7 children) | Copy

Fascinating how some guys will buy into the red pill ideas that men should be dominant and all that jazz, then demand that a woman take the lead.

[–]cubemstr1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

Just a thought: maybe they buy into the idea that men need to be dominant in the reality of today's world, but wish that they didn't need to be all the time.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (4 children) | Copy

Wish in one hand and spit in the other, and see which one holds more.

Doesn't matter what you wish the world was like. It is what it is.

[–]cubemstr0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Yeah, but you can wish the world was a certain way but act knowing that it isn't. People wish they could leave their valuables unprotected without having them stolen, but they still lock their houses and hide their shit.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy

Wait, we circled around, are we not saying the same thing now?

You can wish for women to be aggressive in picking up men, but you still have to do the work of the chase, because we get off on dominant alpha.

[–]cubemstr0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yes. We're in agreement, I'm just pointing out that sharing the wish that the world was different isn't necessarily bad.

It's like, if we were in charge of the human beings' software update, one of the main fixes would be: "Women now attracted to quality of character and are willing to be active rather than being attracted to dominance and being passive."

[–]throwawayredpill010 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

but you still have to do the work of the chase

what a tangled web you weave!

An alpha who chases! How does that work?

[–]throwawayredpill010 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The rabbit hole goes deep. The matrix has many levels. Some stop at the first level down thinking that's all exists, Others dig deeper.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

biology plays a role and should not be ignored because it has huge effects on us.

[–]throwawayredpill01-1 points0 points  (5 children) | Copy

Didn't you mention in your AMA that you chased your husband?

Edit1: Yup :) http://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/18g7a3/im_redpillwifey_ama/c8ekdl5

I chased him quite a bit.


I drove to him every weekend, I can count the number of times he drove to me on one hand

Edit2: this is why you should never listen to a woman.

Redpillwifey: Offtopic but I'm curious, have you read Esther Vilar's The Manipulated Man yet? Has your husband?

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (4 children) | Copy

To clarify what I said in my AMA...

He absolutely approached me romantically first (we'd already known each other for a long time). What I meant by chasing was that he was an aloof ass for a lot of the time we were dating... I'd slightly freak out that he was acting like he didn't care as much as I did, and I'd up my game to try to keep him interested. I was working really hard to keep him on the hook, if you know what I mean. :)

I thought this post was talking about the initial work of getting her interested, and I still maintain that the guy has to be the one who initially approaches.

And no, I haven't read that book... Do you recommend it? Sounds interesting.

[–]throwawayredpill010 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Don't believe you now either. You said his attitude (and height) is what attracted you. That sounds like you were first in the game and pulled him in with your wiley womanly ways.

It's always the woman who signals first (as another commenter here stated). There's a BBC doc on youtube somewhere about this mating dance if you want to look it up. Sorry to disabuse you of that 'reactive sex drive' nonsense.

And yeah, the book is a must for red pill dealers.

Edit: But the back pedalling in your post is pretty neat. So you will atleast admit to being the one chasing him for his aloofness, but still advise men to chase in your original post and are not anywhere advising them to be aloof.

Women react to the chase

But what you reacted to was the aloofness and severe non-chasing. Oh the ways of the hamster!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

LOL... ok. I'm screwing this up.

My posts in this thread were in regards to the initial pick-up. Let me word it another way.

Women are wired to be picked up, they don't want to do the picking up themselves.

Yes, you are right that the aloofness keeps us interested after the initial approach. That's why it's called push-pull.

And yes, women do give off signals, but they're giving off signals that tell guys that it's ok to approach them. (Generality here, obviously not true for all)

Sorry I'm not coming across the way I intend... It's a bad habit that I get into, where I have this whole conversation in my head that I understand, but no one else does because I do a poor job of explaining it. Part of being an introverted woman. :P

[–]throwawayredpill010 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Women are wired to be picked up

No such thing. It's the other way round actually. But we all pretend otherwise since it's better for our egos.

Also did not sound like there was much push-pull going on with your story. Just aloofness on his part. And chasing on yours.

I completely understand where you're coming from on this. A few more red pills should help you. The book is a good start for that.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'll put it on my "read next" list :) Thank you.

[–]TRP VanguardVZPurp1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The cost of being a man is having to risk a lot and make something of yourself. Gotta seize the day, cut out a place for you and your followers on this Earth.

[–]TheIslander8291 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think with proper Game we hold the advantage.

We can be active and play the field for years. And if we get tired, at 50 or so we can settle down and start a family. Women can't do this at all, not even close. Their clocks are ticking and they have to start popping babies out no later than 35.

Don't let anybody tell you what to do, girl. You should only do what you feel comfortable with. Do you feel ready for this? Don't take any crap from him, you shouldn't have to do anything you're not comfortable with.

Even so, they end up doing whatever the fuck they want. How many times I've heard real advice given, or given it myself, only to find that the girl did the exact opposite...

You can always trust that a girl will do what "she feels right" at that very moment. That's why they suck at keeping promises.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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