First day of break up - first day of nun mode

theresa490 · 2020-03-16T00:54:26+00:00

I’m sorry to hear this. I think your first priority is finding a place you can stay for a while and nursing yourself back to health. The physically stronger (healthier) you are, the easier it is for you to emotionally and mentally get through this break up.

When your situation stabilizes, you can date other men in the meantime to help you get over your ex if you want. For me personally, I like to date other men and usually let them be the pursuer. You mentioned you pursued your ex. This may not be relevant, but what made you pursue him? Perhaps figuring out what initially attracted you to him and why he doesn’t make a good captain can help you weed out similar prospects in the future.

For now, please take care of yourself. Pamper yourself if you can. That will help greatly!

organicsunshine · 2020-03-16T01:30:33+00:00

Do not paralyze. Create a plan. Steps to where you need to be. One day at a time. Cut off contact with your ex unless you feel this is salvagable. You are not alone. Most relationships fail. It is not your fault. Learn and be a better partner going forward. I wish you well.

Vatooktoil · 2020-03-16T01:45:38+00:00

I'm so sorry you are going through this, Xun. I'm so sorry about the loss of your relationship. While it really may have been time for it to end (you know better than us) it doesn't negate all that was put into it and the expectations you may have had for it. What's more you are in many ways alone going through this. Good on you for stopping by. FWIW, you're not alone here in this space.

First, getting your housing together should be top priority and it sounds like it is, in spite of how you're feeling. Believe it or not, having a safe stable place to lay your head will provide some relief - it wont heal everythunh but at least you'll have a place all your own where you can feel comfortable, feel all your feelings, begin rebuilding and focus on the things that strengthen you. You will have a place to heal.

Be gentle on yourself, but keep moving forward. As a bonus, the time you're throwing into finding a place you wont be thinking about the breakup (there will be time for that nevertheless)

Keep focusing on you. Sending care and hugs 💜

2020-03-16T16:11:24+00:00

I am so sorry you're going through this. I went through a break up in late November over lack of values in common as well. While it was painful for a few weeks. Once your living situation is stable you can try some of my recommendations. It kind of became really long... lol.

Started focusing on a small scale glow-up, beauty and hygiene self-care. Improve your skin care routine, treat yourself to a sheet mask and start learning at home nail-care. Make yourself feel beautiful, feminine and desirable. For example, I taught myself how to dye my own eyebrows at home to achieve that dark brows with light hair look that's popular right now.
Start being more active. I started including more movement in my days like taking the stairs at work, walking instead of taking the metro to the office, hiking with my dog.
Read! Learn about a new topic. I love history for example, so I chose a random topic and got a few library books to focus on learning about that.
IF it is in your budget (whether you thrift or buy new) I also like to indulge in calculated and purposeful retail therapy. I saved up to buy a nice new dress from a boutique and I got it tailored. Wore it on some dates and it made me feel great.
Reconnect with female friends and relatives. Focus on including more feminine energy in your life while you heal and take a break from dating.
If you're religious, include more prayer into your daily routine.
When it comes to dating when you feel ready to start again: make a list of all the qualities you are looking for in a perspective boyfriend/husband. I've had a lot of luck recently using Hinge and the filters there to find respectful, family-oriented men to meet and get to know. I personally filter by age and religion as I've learned since my last break-up that I only want to date other Catholics who are culturally similar to myself and older.
I also started focusing more on what a man writes in his profile rather than his looks. If something of what he writes or lists as a hobby intrigues me, even if I'm not 100% physically attracted, I still give them an opportunity to win my heart or pursue me. Sometimes you can be surprised at who ends up being the best boyfriend.
When you're dating, make your values clear without being negative about it. Talk about them with a smile on your face and be playful/flirtatious about it. If even a subtle hint at traditionalism makes a man back away, be relieved he won't be wasting your time or hurting your heart. It is better to be single than with the wrong man, regardless of how old you are. A quality man that will pursue you, lead you and desire you to be his true partner in life will be more attracted to your boundaries and values. It will make you even more beautiful and attractive to him. That has been my experience at least.

Best of luck with everything! I know you'll pull through. And please, focus on finding somewhere to live before anything else.

xun1 · 2020-03-16T19:44:32+00:00

Thank you so much . I won’t be ready to date in a long long time and will be going nun mode . The tips for self improvement sound exciting and I can’t wait to be able to be in a place to try!

ouelletouellet · 2020-03-16T14:38:46+00:00

Break ups are hard no matter what The way I see it though is in a sense he’s doing you a favour if you stay with him he’s going to be holding you back from things that you want and he did the right thing it would of been selfish for him to keep going knowing you have desires and wants that he doesn’t care for

Title	First day of break up - first day of nun mode
Author	xun1
Upvotes	73
Comments	10
Date	March 16, 2020 12:19 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/fjbm5f/first_day_of_break_up_first_day_of_nun_mode/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/first-day-of-break-up-first-day-of-nun-mode.354810 https://theredarchive.com/post/354810