I have to fake my personality around girls and it's exhausting

throwawaycunt1997 · 2020-03-16T03:31:02+00:00

I’ve done this shit. Frankly, while I got laid and even charmed my way into extensive resources, fuck it, I’d rather be authentic.

Stop worrying about pussy. Think of the massive extensive amount of time and resources you probably burn and will never get back just trying to stick your dick in a wet hole. Do you seriously need that right now?

Spend those resources on yourself. Work on being that authentic you that puts absolutely minimal effort into your game because you are seen as a god within a crowd and that girl is trying to appease to you and your frame as opposed to you just dancing around like a goddamn clown to be some girl’s pet monkey for a night. Really digest that thought. You’re exhausted and you don’t feel right because you are still making yourself out be some sort of tool just to get in their pants. Only you’re not a Lv. 1 Beta who fails miserably to get laid by being nice or spending money on her, you’re a Lv. 2 Beta who’s adapted a weaponized fake Alpha outer shell to temporarily appease her vagina. Guess what that means, buddy? You’re still a tool working for the vagina; you’re pedestalizing the pussy. Great work degrading yourself to human dildo; you think that inner Self, that subconscious true you appreciates that shit? Obviously not if you’re feeling like shit because of it.

Go to the gym, (edit: make a workout routine, bonus for buying equipment) work on your body, focus on your mind and spirit, and then authentically do something that gets your name out there for you that you actually enjoy. Find your damn purpose in life. Sex comes and goes, why waste all that effort for a 5 second dopamine rush when you can just do what you authentically enjoy with a purpose and those girls will be lining up to be that lucky sidekick that also gets to breed with you if you so goddamn choose.

Quit being a clown, hermano.

Edit: Adjusted for social isolation measures

BruhMoment45886 · 2020-03-15T19:25:34+00:00

Heres the way I look at it. Getting pussy depends on your personality almost as much as your looks.

Both of those things overall arent really in your control.

Its just the way of life. Naturally extroverted calm guys get way more puss than people like you or me who are more introverted and do a lot of thinking.

Your personality just doesnt qualify for large amounts of puss. So you can either keep putting up a fascade and get laid or you can be true to yourself and not.

You can alter your personality somewhat which I'd advise you do but you cant really become the guy you're pretending to be naturally.

If you're exhausted take a break from women and when you get horny say hello to Mr. Extrovert again.

Whisper · 2020-03-16T01:05:22+00:00

"In character" is a temporary stage of changing yourself.

In time, you will find ways of integrating what you want to do with who you want to be.

I am quiet and introspective. And it gets me hella laid.

WhatRemainsAfter · 2020-03-16T04:25:46+00:00

You are putting the pussy on pedestal and letting a hole decide which type of person you are.

It is not necessary to act like a clown to get laid. Stay true to yourself, ask questions, guide the conversation - this should get you laid more often than not allt his within frame and confidence.

No need to worry mate, you got it.

PM_ME_CHILL_MUSIC · 2020-03-15T18:39:41+00:00

Work towards becoming the character you fake.

Nobody tells you to be around people 24/7, it's okay to have days where you are alone and focus on the stuff you enjoy. I had similar problem where I got drained from being around people too much, so I started to have at least one day by myself during the weekend, so I could enjoy being around people again

jacques_cousteau007 · 2020-03-15T18:57:13+00:00

Wtf no

You ever seen the best tennis professionals in the world go against some amateur?

They hit the ball all across the court, which makes the amateur run around and get tired.

This also causes the amateur to not be able to put the return volley in the spots they want, they will only be able to hit the ball back to where the professional is already standing (center court), where the pro can hit it back to a hard spot and continue their dominance until they win the match.

Most importantly, the professional will play the entire match staying in more or less the same spot

Same thing goes for conversation. If you are a professional (high SMV, solid frame), the entire conversation will live in a frame where the pressure is on her.

Whenever there is a shit test or high pressure question, you as a TRP man are expected to navigate the convo into a frame where you are one step closer to bedding her.

The only time this will be difficult is with an alpha woman (another professional). But trust me, once you are ready for those, the thrill of victory makes the increased effort worth it.

Be a pro. Read the sidebar. Win the match.

2020-03-15T19:55:19+00:00

Hell no bro..,just be you and maintain a strong frame and accept yourself. If a girl likes that, fine. If she doesn’t, also fine. Don’t be outcome dependent. You’ll find you’ll do a lot better with girls and everyone else in your life this way.

mikkeldaman · 2020-03-15T22:54:32+00:00

The moment you said that you fake your social persona it was clear to me that you lost. Girls, sure, love an outgoing guy. Actually everyone, even guys love an outgoing guy. But girls will also be quite kind and generous with introvert guys who display social capabilities. What they are not so quick to forgive is a deceitful person. If you mislead them by making them think you are this awesome sociable person only to fail every single of their shittests, then you're in for some serious crap.

CareIsMight · 2020-03-16T06:44:16+00:00

Are you putting on this 'mask', so to speak, so you can pretend to be this outgoing character since it's not who you truly are deep inside?

IMO, socialisation, needs to be done on your terms. You shouldn't have to be faking anything, instead it is more about integrating certain characteristics that are beneficial to your own sexual strategy that may not otherwise come naturally to you and seeing that integration process as a positive one.

You should be leading the conversations and interactions and drawing them into the aura in which you create. This is all about holding frame and not allowing it to crumble under the weight of any other individual's pressure. In any case, you can learn how to seamlessly switch characters (e.g. become more assertive when the situation calls) without it having a drain on yourself, it's simply another well-developed aspect of yourself that you can turn to. If you are naturally quiet and introspective and don't derive a lot of pleasure or value from social interactions, there is still a positive benefit of being more approachable, open and interactive in situations where you want to attract the opposite sex for potential relationships, companionship, etc...

Perhaps you are putting on this personality and it's draining because it's not your natural response to the environment/situation, you would be more relaxed if they were more normal/natural responses. For me practice makes perfect. I used to be shy, insecure and uncomfortable, and at times I still am if I'm not 100% completely to be in the mood at a social gathering, however I've improved tremendously over the last few years from being semi-recluse to a lot more open and willing to have new experiences in environments where I'd otherwise not want to have.

QuinlanBothese · 2020-03-16T06:52:02+00:00

Don't fake you have to build on congruency only that will give you honest feedback.

bilabrin · 2020-03-16T07:09:57+00:00

Girls like confident guys for one main reason...confident guys are not hiding anything. They open up without fear of judgement.

Your problem is not who you are, it's your lack of embracing it passionately.

Think about what you truly get passionate about, express that fearlessly and without shame and bring them into your flow. When they see you not hiding, they will be attracted to the realness you shamelessly embrace and express.

I got vibes from gorgeous women talking loudly to a friend about Path of Exile, an online game, because I lit up when I spoke and they could see that I loved what I was talking about and was in flow state.

If they don't resonate, cool, talk to more....people!

You need to up your social interactions in general. Talk to more people every day. Make more friends and aquantances. I can't remember the last weekend I spent alone and not with one of my social groups.

Board game night at church 2 weeks ago. Poker at my house last Saturday, work party Thursday night. Meeting up with the team last night.

I'm telling you that if you talk to a lot of people you beging to unwind and you'll find people you really like an you'll find fulfillment too.

Embrace your true passion and start meeting up with groups of different people as much as possible.

omegaXXIV · 2020-03-16T03:18:49+00:00

If you think of this personality as "fake," you're already putting an obstacle in front of yourself. You'll be second-guessing yourself every time to the detriment of your game, which is probably why you say you feel mentally drained.

Everyone acts different around others. The way you act with your boss is not the same way you act around your friends is not the same way you act around your parents is not the same way you act around strangers. You probably don't think of that as "fake" because you've done it for so long it has become second nature. This is no different, it's just a matter of practice and, for lack of a better term, "fake it until you make it."

BangkokNoob · 2020-03-16T04:55:13+00:00

Watch this video, This is the method i use. You come in strong and slowly lower your energy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7tf5qMKTMxg

user20180620 · 2020-03-16T05:13:25+00:00

Lots of good stuff in this thread. Here's my 2 cents.

A personality has many facets. For example, sometimes it is perfectly natural and energizing to talk at length, excitedly, about something. That happens when you're genuinely excited about it. E.g. if you love football, you could spend 30 minutes going on and on about the NFL vs xfl and why it's good or bad, etc.

At other time, and with other subjects, it take huge effort to stay focused in the conversation. E.g. talking about accounting methods for stock transactions.

So it's a mistake to say categorically that you are "introverted" or "shy" or"low energy".

I think of it as a mixing desk... Like in a music studio. You can amp up or dial back any facet of your personality.

In game, I tend to amp up my extravert persona quite a bit. Also I amp up my enthusiasm (I'll be more likely to use superlative language about normal stuff). Etc.

This is admittedly tiring.

My best guess is that as we improve at game... We do less amping up... And more dialing back.

E.g. instead of amping up my extraverting. I would use my baseline, and dial back my shyness.

Or instead of amping up my enthusiasm... I'd dial back my default restraint.

So that framing means that it can be easier in the long run... Because I don't have to push myself to be fake... I just mute the facets that are unattractive.

Another example... I often have no opinion on where to eat. Genuinely. So at first... I might have to take having a massive preference and force the group to go my way.

But later, I can have a low key preference... But I mute my natural deference, and state my opinion. So lower energy... But same results.

Or something like that.

Cheers!

idontevenlift37 · 2020-03-16T06:17:03+00:00

In my opinion not giving a fuck is more effective than being outgoing. Obviously if your goal is to get pussy or spin a lot of plates then yeah you’re gonna have to be at least somewhat outgoing. But it’s not worth that much effort in my opinion. Being comfortable with your own personality and not caring what others think is more effective in my opinion.

limbojunkie · 2020-03-16T08:40:04+00:00

I'm an ambivert, I like socialising but I need to recharge my end of the day so I live alone. I find it exhausting to act social and extrovert and find out that not all people deserve it. Recently, I only socialize and act as an extrovert when there are interesting people or attractive women I want to impress. Meanwhile, my coworkers are a bunch of awkward slums who respond to any question by one or two words. I stopped trying to socialize with them and kept communication to the minimum because they just drain my battery without and gains. They realized I changed my attitude towards then and started acting differently but screw then I don't care about them.

Treat your extrovert persona as money, only spend it on the right things.

party_dragon · 2020-03-16T11:29:13+00:00

YaReally goes into a lot of detail here.

TL;DR: it's not about being introverted (which he calls "laconic", low-energy, like James Bond) vs outgoing (which he calls "verbose", high-energy, like Russel Brand), but about being passive (reactive, following) vs pro-active (leading the conversation, influencing the environment, pushing the interaction).

Ash_thearcher · 2020-03-16T19:40:27+00:00

Don’t beat yourself up by saying you are using a “fake” personality. It sounds like you are an introvert who has made some honest strives to be more outgoing and extroverted. Congratulations, most people are too lazy or too afraid to do this, and use their introversion as an excuse to stay at home, play cod and jack off.

It’s draining because as an introverted person you get energy from more introverted activities. That’s cool. It means even MORE that you take the extra step to be outgoing. Look in any college class that has a lot of people. You’ll see a bunch of kids who want to talk and be friends, but the entire semester passes by and most of them don’t because they’re all hoping someone else will take the first step.

Don’t look at it as a “fake” personality. You are practicing a skill. Being extroverted, being the one who is outgoing and the one who initiating things, this is a skill that you are simply practicing. Why do I say this? Because so many people WISH they could do these things, but don’t because they can’t get out of their own head and can’t work up the courage.

Japaliicious · 2020-03-15T20:35:42+00:00

I'm quiet and do just fine. Up yourself, not just your game

_-resonance-_ · 2020-03-16T02:06:42+00:00

TRP is not about getting puss. It’s about becoming the best you can be, offering women a masculine frame for them to relax into. If you are trying in any way to appease women in order to get puss, you’ve already lost.

Rodent9 · 2020-03-15T22:15:40+00:00

Then don’t

TreatYouLikeAQuean · 2020-03-16T02:58:53+00:00

Disagree. I'm introverted no doubt although I do initiate conversations because I like to pick people's brains. Have not had an issue and never considered it necessary to "fake extroversion" to make a girl attracted to me.

Dude, physical attraction is like the number 1 thing anyway. If you find yourself relying on "staying in character" it sounds like you're treating yourself like a jester and not relying on the strong traits that TRP emphasizes to develop (confidence, physique, overall fashion/hygiene).

Drive_Thru_Sushi · 2020-03-15T18:57:01+00:00

https://www.google.com/amp/s/therationalmale.com/2014/10/09/game-works/amp/ The bit about the PUA like Mystery is dead on.

Title	I have to fake my personality around girls and it's exhausting
Author	ushirtrun
Upvotes	131
Comments	54
Date	March 15, 2020 6:09 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/fj5l8k/i_have_to_fake_my_personality_around_girls_and/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/i-have-to-fake-my-personality-around-girls-and-its.355138 https://theredarchive.com/post/355138

Quit being a clown, hermano.

Be a pro. Read the sidebar. Win the match.

justbeyourself #justwin