How much does virginity matter for a marriage? Should I consider n count a red flag?

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January 30, 2020
7 upvotes

Obviously n count matters but I mean if it’s 1 or 2.


Post Information
Title How much does virginity matter for a marriage? Should I consider n count a red flag?
Author agoodcrayon
Upvotes 7
Comments 11
Date 30 January 2020 10:34 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askRPC
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/355966
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askRPC/comments/ewdp94/how_much_does_virginity_matter_for_a_marriage/
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Red Pill terms found in post:
n count
Comments

[–]Deep_Strength5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

I've covered this topic extensively before. Here's the post on it:

https://deepstrength.wordpress.com/2018/01/07/review-of-vetting-virgins-and-new-info-on-virginity-pledges/

N count is more important for women than it is for men as much as many others (including Christians) seem to hate that. However, the attitude toward it tends to be the most revealing. N = 1 and 2 can be the most risky if they don't view it as a mistake, lack repentance, and are not chaste after. Staying chaste for several years or longer after a mistake as well as a good walk with God and developing maturity in Christ is a good sign.

You should think about the past in terms of when it happened. Was she a Christian? Did she claim to be a Christian at the time? An unsaved woman who had sex and then came to Christ is different than a Christian who claimed to be one at the time and may not have changed her ways.

You should also consider the full ramifications such as the physical (STDs), mental and psychological (comparisons, views of sex, experiences, etc), emotional (does it change her feelings of fully giving herself to her husband, being enthusiastic about sex, not denying sex, not doing certain sexual acts, etc.), and things like these.

[–]NoFaithInThisSub2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

http://loydwalker.com/rmv-checklist/ is probably the best checklist, written by an approved contributor (forget which one).

Best is Zero, but lets be honest, we all screw up.

[–]Willow-girl2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy

There's a post right now on MRP from a guy who married a girl from a similar traditional conservative religious background. They're now about 30 and she's regretting her lack of a misspent youth; it seems she wants to stay married but date other men on the side.

Beware! There is no formula that will guarantee a successful marriage.

[–]PositiveMaleGuidance2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

Basement + Padlock? 🤔

[–]Willow-girl0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Please tell me you're joking? Please?

[–]PositiveMaleGuidance2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

If course it's a joke, basements are not even remotely affordable. We all know the attic is way more economical.

[–]Willow-girl0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

:o

[–]PositiveMaleGuidance4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy

Apply the same standard to her that you do to yourself. I think that's fair.

[–]Deep_Strength1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

I think that's fair.

If men and women were the same it could be fair. But N > 0 does statistically affect women more than men.

With that being said, both should strive to be chaste, even if they had sex in the past. Repentance and continuing to honor God with their actions (hopefully for several years) often speak louder than past actions.

[–]PositiveMaleGuidance3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

All completely true. That being said, the Bible condemns not only fornication but hypocrisy.

And if, after years of degenerate behavior, you're hellbent on accepting nothing less than dutiful virgin housewives... you're a hypocrite.

But can you really blame a playa for aiming for the gold standard?

[–]redwall922 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

you're hellbent on accepting nothing less than dutiful virgin housewives... you're a hypocrite.

Not necessarily.

Doesn't matter why a guy may want a dutiful virgin housewife or what his past is.

If that's what he wants, then he can set the bar wherever he wants. Sure ... don't blame society if nobody meets your bar. But having a high bar doesn't make a person a hypocrite.



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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