For those who fully embraced TRP, how many of you ever cringed thinking about your former self and beta behaviors such as oneitis?

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March 22, 2020
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/r/asktrp/comments/fmqx21/for_those_who_fully_embraced_trp_how_many_of_you/


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Title For those who fully embraced TRP, how many of you ever cringed thinking about your former self and beta behaviors such as oneitis?
Author Willmeister29
Upvotes 143
Comments 60
Date 22 March 2020 01:00 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/356761
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/fmqx21/for_those_who_fully_embraced_trp_how_many_of_you/
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Comments

[–]W_O_M_B_A_T195 points196 points  (7 children) | Copy

A major factor for addicts who recover, is not just shame, guilt, and remorse, but a profound, lasting, and undeniable disgust for their former lifestyle and behavior. This is why addicts almost almost never sober up until they've reached rock bottom.

You cannot become a strong and valuable man, without first feeling a profound sense of contempt and revulsion at the weak self-sabotaging boy you were before.

[–]eucalyptusleaves41 points42 points  (3 children) | Copy

Wow. This is EXACTLY how I feel, and why I feel so much disgust at my friends who are still stuck.

[–]phisch1323 points24 points  (1 child) | Copy

My friends disgust me.

Not sure who’s worse, the fat slob who tries to nice guy his way into fucking every girl I fuck after I’m done with them.

Or

The one who’s so disgustingly whipped he can’t even go downstairs without his girlfriends permission. At least this ones getting fucked.

I think the worst part is knowing that I used to be exactly the same as them. Trying to nice guy my way into a relationship. Moving soon and just about done with these two, I need some red pill friends when I move.

[–]cadaemos1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I left every friend that thinks that way, now I only have 3 true friends and at least theyre useful people.

[–]1Terminal-Psychosis3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

You cannot become a strong and valuable man, without first feeling a profound sense of contempt and revulsion at the weak self-sabotaging boy you were before.

This is why strong father figures are so damn important. Learning this from birth is invaluable.

Why traditional family values are so under attack today.

to OP's question, like many others here have asserted, when you come down from an addiction, you often outgrow your former "friends", realize they aren't real friends, and move on to make really good associations.

Hurts sometimes, giving up the old familiar, but there is SO MUCH BETTER out there.

REAL friends, a solid trusted group of brothers, are also invaluable. Takes time and effort to cultivate in these eherm... "modern, civilized" times.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

Totally agree with this as well. I always get sick to my stomach when I looked back how I used to act. I also feel disgust seeing my friends fall in the same BP patterns as I once did. Not gonna lie, I still have some work to do

[–]W_O_M_B_A_T4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Totally agree with this as well. I always get sick to my stomach when I looked back how I used to act. I also feel disgust seeing my friends fall in the same BP patterns as I once did.

Recovering addicts go through this kind of thing too,

Realizing the people they hung out with and thought were their friends, are dishonest, deluded, self-destructive junkies too. Not only that, but their former friends would gladly drag them right back into that disgusting lifestyle if they can. Of course addicts tend to quickly roll all the people who actually gave a shit about them like their real friends and family.

Granted, this isn't nearly as destructive as being a heroin addict. The consequences for your friends of their lifestyle and mindset is a life of low key frustration, mediocrity, and loneliness. So don't feel a need to try to rescue them. It's not going to kill them, but you may get tired of their whining and victimhood.

It's about moving from the lifestyle of a dependent child who is essentially an emotional parasite, to that of an independent adult.

Or, that of a dependent junkie to independent sober.

One of the reasons why I think that kicking something like opioids in particular is so difficult, is it co-opts many of the same brain systems that are normally involved in the mother-child bond, especially during nursing. That's what addiction is. A child is wholly dependent on one thing for survival, it's parents. An adult isn't, but that instinct and behavior pattern hasn't gone away.

Just a few thoughts.

[–][deleted] 30 points31 points  (0 children) | Copy

I agree. I don’t even like thinking about it, it makes me shudder, but at the same time eternally grateful I took that red pill. And very grateful that’s subs like this exist. Thanks guys.

[–]alphakari18 points19 points  (1 child) | Copy

Blessed with zero fucks given for mistakes of my past. I think it's cause I'm so hard on myself when I fuck up in the present, or the near past.

The only TRP related errors that rub me the wrong way long term always seem to be where I'm too nice to a girl. But what it comes down to was I'm annoyed about the lack of gratitude from em afterwards, so I get this irrational wish I didn't do it.

It's just not in a women's nature to be grateful, and it's not in mine to do good things for the ungrateful at zero cost, so it bothers me when I let the appeal of nobility tempt me into a path that just doesn't match who I am.

[–]Cybertron4367 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Being kind to someone and watching them treat it like weakness. Getting smug about some shit they should be grateful for lmao. Relatable

[–]mikkeldaman22 points23 points  (3 children) | Copy

Funny you ask that because I was just contemplating a recent BP mistake I made which makes feel very disgusted about myself. I was never really BP-ed since I had my dad as an example, whom despite being a massive skirt chaser in his youth, I've never seen a woman so in love with a man after thirty years of marriage, as my mom is to my dad but I did make lots of mistakes, including one time when I dropped all my plates because a girl whom I really fancied gave me an ultimatum (still cringe when I think about that one).

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (2 children) | Copy

Can totally relate. I remember begging, pleading and still trying to be friends with my ex after she moved on with someone else. It’s something I wish I never did.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Especially now that she's probably fatter and uglier than a few years ago

[–]chickensizzla0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Basically what happened with me, feels bad

[–]Casd129 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy

I don't know why, but I stopped cringing at almost everything. I just get pissed off

[–]thesoloronin0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I’m kinda a mixture of both. I get pissed off and cringey at the former BP me. Or sometimes the other way round. There’s no particular order.

[–]Protocol_Apollo16 points17 points  (2 children) | Copy

If you don’t cringe about your past, you haven’t evolved.

I still have some of my bloopie text conversations stored on my phone somewhere.

[–]blackmamba3291 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Let's see em 😂😂😂

[–]Snowboard181 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ya sometimes I’ll read them just to see how far I’ve come, I literally can’t sometimes. I intende cringe and disgust for my bp self is too much sometimes.

[–]comcain6 points7 points  (4 children) | Copy

Me too. I've been a "nice guy" way too often and look what it got me... nothing. I know now I did the best I could with what I believed at the time.

It's too bad women are the way they are.

My brother, married 40+ years, just had his wife announce she'd never loved him, pack, and leave. His voice in the phone is in shock. He is a great guy, successful, handsome, swims for exercise. I think she went crazy. I don't know what to do to help him.

Cheers!

[–]theUnBannableHulk10 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy

Who cares about some 60 year old hag 😂

Congratulate him on the prime age pussy he gonna crush now if he’s fit and successful.

Also....hide his assets 😂

[–]merunas0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

damn right he got lucky lmao who cares about some expired pussy

[–]PachoHerrera00 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Caught a lucky fucking break if you ask me. There is plenty you can do to help him, lead by example.

[–]krunchtimer0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I think she went crazy.

This may very well be what happened. Considering that a decent percentage of women are on psych meds, and it tends to get worse as they age.

[–]spider_13374 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I sometimes hear of friends who do cringe worthy stuff with girls theyre dating and it reminds me of things i did before. I never went full blown BP but i did have a BP train of thought when it came to trying to figure out the rules of the game

[–]krayono4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Guilty as charged.

After taking the red pill, I realized how much of a beta orbiter I was. I was the nice guy, who thought I’ll get the girl if I’m nice enough. I had a severe oneitis.

Just learn from your mistakes!

[–]SavvyVolley64 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I’ve been RP since about 2013 when I had a 5 year LTR that come to a brutal end; long story short my fiancé flipped like a switch while I was at USMC recruit training, forged my name on our lease and ran off with some dude. I almost killed that bitch, literally.

Every day I look back to who I was and if makes me sick. I mean she was a BPD and had daddy issues and we had no business being together, but it was my fault. I was so blue pill brainwashed.

Never again.

[–]DDD50_4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

The Blue Pill kills scores of men. Guys are putting bullets in their skulls over one-itis Disney horseshit.

If you got off the Blue Pill at the price of a couple embarrassing or emasculating experiences: you got off cheap. As long as you are still alive, and aren’t paying alimony or child support to some hoe, you got off cheap.

[–]mtl_dood3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

My hand is fully raised! I still got problems, but a bitch ain't one.

[–]phisch133 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I find it best if I just don’t think about it. It’s cringy, pathetic, and downright sad.

I’m absolutely horrified by my behavior with my most recent ex LTR. Super grateful for my relationship with her, because that prissy bitch behavior I put on full display really made me reconsider my entire life. I was a fat, depressed loser while I dated her. The day after we officially broke up, I found the red pill.

The fact that I asked her to reconsider breaking up with me and give me one more chance (after I’d tried to break up with her 3 times) is an action that makes my current self shudder. Can’t imagine giving a woman that kind of power anymore. Pathetic.

[–][deleted]  (3 children) | Copy

[deleted]

[–]jaznex0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

why disgust? i guess still in anger phase. when you fully aaccept it, you'll feel nothing.

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy

[deleted]

[–]jaznex0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

guess what. you aren't better now :)

[–]wanker71711 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I see so many guys making the same mistakes I used to make so I get a reminder of it pretty often. It's immensely painful to have to witness day after day.

The most recent example was something I noticed with a co-worker. She was bored and just going on about relationship problems after she asked if her bf could drop something off for her.

Eventually she reveals that they used to be friends before they dated, which actually caught my interest (as I enjoy validating my beliefs). I asked who escalated it past friendship and she said it was him. Translation- her bf is a total insecure bitch. When he arrived later he would eventually be shouting at her over a disagreement concerning whether some comment was rude or not. I have not been validated that hard in a while.

[–]Alzatorus1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

At least once a week 😂 - no not that often, but I do reflect sometimes and almost shudder at how I used to be. There are cons though, as I do think I have now gone too far in to TRP and struggle to feel much of anything for any woman 🤷🏼‍♂️ and shit tests really have no/little impact at all - I don’t know if that is a good or bad thing, at the moment I consider it a trade off. Has anyone else experienced this lack of emotion/empathy and figured out how to combat it? I might actually post this separately as a TRP community post/question.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

funnily enough I'm unbothered by how wack I was before.

it's all part of the journey.

I feel completely indifferent about it.

[–]nwo47shawty1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sometimes I'm indifferent to it, but for the most part I genuinely get triggered by that shit so much because of how emasculating those experiences were, now that I've swallowed so many different pieces of Red Pill information.

I had to unfollow and remove 99% of my friends from High-School because it was just a strong reminder of how much I was a validation chasing, blue pill, emotional bitch. I knew they didn't respect me and the only way to escape was by letting go of the past.

They all dislike me for it now but it's not about them. None of us came across this RP shit at a young age for absolutely no reason at all. Don't waste this gift.

[–]DerekMorganBAU8 points9 points  (8 children) | Copy

I'm a hood nigga so my "BP" moments were few and far between. I slapped a bitch in second grade and we made out a week later.

I've always had the gift of gab homie. But this shit right here is all the truth that I didn't know existed.

[–]blancstare10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

If you're gonna masturbate, it's better to do so privately.

[–]rplad42012 points13 points  (5 children) | Copy

Things that never happened

[–]DerekMorganBAU-5 points-4 points  (4 children) | Copy

Y'all mad? 😂

[–]Cybertron4367 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

You’re just weird bro 😂

[–]JaevonTheDon1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

So your black and found the red pill basically lmao. We in the same boat

[–]DerekMorganBAU1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Basically. They know niggas like us exist until we show up to then they don't believe us smh

[–]JaevonTheDon-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

just know with this knowledge fr the shits dangerous cause niggas deadass are blind to this shit lmao

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Shut the fuck up

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

They still emerge from time to time, we are a multitude of selves although it's much easier to suppress it before it becomes an issue now

[–]2319Skew0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yes

[–]DrGandu0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I scream at the top of my lungs while I lift the weights ever more heavily.

I know this is me in my Anger phase, which I visit every once in a while, and eventually get over.

The cringe never stops. I scream at my past misdeeds in the shower, grunt when around people, tighten my jaw in classes, etc.

[–]SteveSan820 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It’s more the years I wasted that bother me. I think of moments that should have been Red Pill moments but I was too blue pilled to notice.

Also regret for things I can’t fully fix such as the memory loss I have from being stupid and believing a counselor who said I needed clonopan when SHE should have told me to stop eating shit, stop the boohoo poor me nonsense.

But ultimately we can only look to today and view our cucked past as just being the past and atleast its the past since it would suck to still be that blue pilled beta cuck

[–]kylerosa210 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

We all cringe at how we used to be like. I cringe a lot as of recently but I try not to look back too much at my past.

[–]JaevonTheDon0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

i spent several years putting women on a pedestal man.... and when i look back i can't even believe i got a little but of pussy back then.

[–]when_its_too_late0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

All the time. I can't believe I fell for the same trap so many times like a total idiot.

[–]1Terminal-Psychosis0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Oh god, some things I went through with women, totally unnecessary.

Massive tolerance for inappropriate behavior.

You go out of your childhood and the dysfunction you grew up with seems "normal" so, until you grow some more, the tenancy is to seek out the same abusive bullshit you grew up with.

This is why TRP is soooo damn valuable. I knew something was WRONG, very WRONG, but didn't know exactly what, or how to deal with it.

Now, thankfully, I do, and am still learning on that never-ending path to Adulthood.

[–]fartingaround0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Biggest things i can think of are i no longer let my job browbeat me into anything ; staying late come in early work harder for nothing ect. When girls say "maybe" ik to cut it off

[–]__TheDon__0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This question pops up every now and then on the subreddit, and it always gets attention.

The answer is yes, I sometimes find myself cringing at my old days. However, the most important thing is moving forward and improving yourself day in, and day out. Learn from the past, but don’t dwell on it. It is what it is.

[–]cfbovernfl0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

A lot of guys here still have, and will always have, oneitis. I think it's nearly impossibly to absolve oneself of that.

[–]fannyfire0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I’m still adopting TRP principles but I look back and think about my behavior often, especially as a married RP man. I don’t hate my former self. He doesn’t irritate me or disgust me. That was me after all. Instead, I understand him. I understand why he thought the way he did and how he didn’t know better. He was traveling with a broken compass and a map that was labeled incorrectly. He did the best he could with what he had. I’ve realized a great deal of my life is going to be this way because that is just the way of the world. Wisdom comes from experience and experience comes with time.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm very grateful i found redpill at such a young age, I truly changed my life. As it simply taught me to think before I act. Also totally agree with wombat, i feel disgust and sadness for people who aren't redpill aware because for the most part they are being taken advantage of. Not all though of course, but we all aren't born with alpha dads to teach us right.



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